“You think the kids will know?” That had to be bad. He didn’t remember ever hearing about a teacher getting kissed in a classroom, and there was probably a reason for it.
“No, but every teacher in the building will. Randy has such a big mouth. As we speak, the coach and the vice principal are hearing all about how he caught me in a clinch with my fireman. And knowing Randy, he’ll enhance the story. Pretty soon he’ll have caught us having passionate sex on the desk.” When she squeezed her eyes closed and Jack saw a tear roll down her cheek. “They’re all going to ask me about my new boyfriend. And I'm going to have to explain he’s not my boyfriend, he’s my tenant and my friend.”
“Why can’t you tell them I’m your boyfriend?”
“Because that would be a lie.” She sounded pained.
“It doesn’t have to be.” Jack braced himself to say the words he wanted to say. “Katherine, I—”
“Not another word. Don’t say it.” Pulling her coat tight around her, she sat up. “You can’t, because we can’t, because I won’t do that again.”
“Won’t do what?” Jack demanded.
“Won’t be the widow of another hero.”
Jack heard the word echo through the cab. The final piece of the mystery. The piece he’d been refusing to believe over all the evidence. She wasn’t afraid of falling in love again, she was afraid of falling in love with someone like him. “Then something has to change.” Jack stared out the windshield. So far he'd caught every light green when he needed a nice long red to talk to her. At this rate, they'd be home too soon.
“What do you mean?”
Jack turned at the corner of Jefferson. A few people hung out on the wooden porches of the apartment building there reminding him it wasn’t that late, it just felt as if the day had lasted forever.
“I don’t know yet.” But he did know. All the time he’d been refusing to admit to the truth, he’d been thinking about it. He pulled in the driveway. “I could quit my job.”
“No. I don’t want that over my head.”
Slipping the truck into park, he got out to open the garage door. Would he quit the department? It was the only job he’d ever wanted to do. The only thing that made him feel useful and helpful. It was more than his job, it was his life. When he put on the uniform, he felt so proud. Turning back to the truck he looked at Katherine through the windshield. Her head hung down and her hair draped around her face, hiding it. Would he feel as proud standing next to her for the rest of his life? After the way he’d seen her tonight with her student, he thought he could. She burned so bright, so alive. He couldn’t live without that.
“You cannot quit the department for me,” she announced in a low menacing tone when he climbed back in. “I won’t allow it.”
“It isn’t your decision.”
“If you quit for me, it is.”
Carefully driving the truck into the garage, he shut it off, plunging them into darkness. “Then what do you want me to do?”
“I don’t know.” Next to her in the dark, he could only hear her soft breathing as she turned it over in her mind. “I know you would resent me, and I couldn’t live with that.”
“Funny, I’ve learned to love you, and now I can’t live without you.” Climbing out of the truck, he left her sitting in the dark.
Chapter 10
When Katherine pulled up the driveway on the last day of school, Jack was raking the backyard. It looked as if he’d tilled the entire thing, and as if he’d been at it all day. The garage stood open, so she only had to pull in, but he hobbled over to close it for her. He moved like an old man. How long had he been working to get that sore? And he was covered in dirt. She turned off the car and climbed out. Outside the door he stood looking at the asphalt, shoulders sagging.
They had never quite regained the uneasy-easy friendship they'd had before the dance. The day after, she’d stayed locked in her apartment, afraid to speak to him. Afraid he would say what she’d managed to stop him from saying in the truck. Katherine had been relieved when the last month of school was as chaotic as usual, because it gave her solid reasons to avoid Jack. He seemed to have found reasons not to be home as well. Roofing season was in full swing and he appeared to be picking up work doing that between his shifts at the station. Several days over the past month, she’d seen him getting into his truck in jeans and a flannel shirt to go to work instead of walking down the driveway, whistling. He didn’t whistle when he went to his roofing job. So far the issue of his quitting the department hadn’t come up again. Pam had agreed he would resent her if he did. Kitty had thought it was romantic that he would offer.
“Long day?” she asked.
“Yeah.” He reached up for the garage door as she pulled a box of books and files out of the back seat of her car. “We had a couple of night runs last night.”
“I heard.” Now that she had her windows open she heard every time they went out, and it struck terror in her heart every time. “How come you’re working on the back yard?”
“You said you always wanted to get to it and never did.” His gaze stayed on the yard, avoiding her eyes. She couldn’t tell if he was more emotionally or physically exhausted.
“When?”
“When you showed me the apartment in February.”
“Oh. I forgot.” She vaguely remembered mentioning the backyard when she showed him the apartment. Somewhere in her babbling, she must have, but it hadn’t been important then. Why had he remembered five months later? Her heart clenched. He always remembered things like that. Little details to take care of her.
He shrugged. “I didn’t. I got the soil tested, and I got a special kind of fertilizer to correct the Ph levels. The dirt is really acidic back here. It’s the oak trees. Then I rented a tiller and tilled it in. The nursery said it would have been better if we’d done it last fall, but this will work. We’ll have to decide what we want to do about grass.”
Katherine shifted the box in her arms. It was a little heavy to be holding, but she'd barely spoken to Jack in a month. One of them was always headed out when the other came in. She had forgotten how much she missed talking to him. “What about grass?”
“We can put down turf and have an instant lawn, or we can sow seed and wait for it to grow. Turf is more expensive, but it’ll definitely grow. Seed is cheaper, but unreliable. Birds eat it, it doesn’t grow sometimes.” He shrugged still not meeting her eyes.
Katherine forced a smile. “You studying to go into lawn care?”
“It’s an option. Have to have some kind of job. It's interesting, too. Landscaping.”
Her smile froze.
Turning away, he walked back to the yard. “Anyway, I want to get this finished before my whole body locks up. I should have waited until tomorrow to start.”
“If you want, you can come upstairs and soak in my tub.” She offered, willing him to accept. She needed to talk to him. About anything that would take away the pain she saw. Pain she’d caused.
“That’s a bad idea.” He picked up the rake without looking at her
“It can’t hurt.” The box was suddenly too heavy to support any longer so she leaned it against the fence. “If you’re sore, a hot bath would be good for you.”
“I have a buddy who has a hot tub if it gets bad.”
“All right.” Her heart crumbled in her chest. She missed the friend she’d had in him.
“Guess what?” she said, faking enthusiasm.
“What?”
“Three of my students gave me gift certificates to that big bookstore up the road. They’re only five bucks each, but I can get two paperbacks.” She bit her lip. It didn’t look as if he was doing anything useful with that rake. More like he was stalling until she went away. “I was thinking about going there tomorrow. You want to come? We could have lunch at Wendy’s.”
“I’ve got to work.”
“You’re not on duty.” Her calendar was still marked with his duty days and poker nights.
�
��The other job. It’s peak roofing season.”
She forced a laugh. “Get it? Peak roofing season?”
Jack shrugged and tried to smile.
Sucking in a deep breath barely forestalled a sob. “Well, I’m going in. Knock if you change your mind about that bath. I have all those pretty towels with the blue splashes on them.”
His smile improved. “I’ll let you know.”
She started up the steps to her apartment and stopped. Turning around, she went back to the fence even though her arms were now screaming from holding the box for too long. “Jack?”
“What?”
“Why do I feel like I’ve got all the miserable parts of being married to you without any of the bonuses?” Tears gathered behind her eyes.
He looked up from his raking, meeting her eyes for the first time since she got home. His golden eyes were dull, but she didn’t know if it was exhaustion or the conversation. “I don’t know. I’ve never been married. Is this how the miserable part feels?”
* * * *
Jack waited until he heard her go inside. He been finished for an hour, but he’d known she would be home soon. Kevin thought he was out of his mind. That shouting argument in the parking lot this morning wouldn't help matters.
Was this how the miserable part of marriage felt?
They’d hardly talked since the night of the dance. The night he’d thought would be the best night of his life. When he’d thought he’d worked everything out. They hadn’t been avoiding each other, things had just been very busy. At least that’s what he wanted to believe. Katherine had a lot to do at the end of the school year, and when Mike Tomms called to ask if he wanted to pick up some roofing work, he’d jumped at the chance. The arguing with Kevin hadn’t started until it got back to him through their captain that Jack had talked to Mike about joining his crew full time. The guys at the station had started leaving the room whenever Jack and Kevin were together.
Jack looked up at Katherine's kitchen window. She had forbidden him to quit the department for her. But she’d also told him in every way imaginable from the moment he met her that he couldn’t have her and the department. It would have to be his decision which one he wanted more. Right now he wanted her more than he’d ever wanted anything.
Archer stood in the breakfast nook looking out the window. He didn't understand, but he knew something was wrong. Jack felt sorry for his dog. He missed Katherine, too, and he showed it by spending a lot of time sitting by the fence when he was outside and staring out the window when he was in.
Jack leaned the rake against the back of the house and went inside. He’d known what he was setting himself up for when he came home sore and tired from work and started working in the yard. Every muscle screamed. The hot bath sounded good, but spending that much time close to her sounded like agony of a different kind. He turned on the shower and took a couple of aspirin. Shoving back the curtain, steam billowed over him. School was out now. She’d be home more so he’d see more of her. Stepping under the flow of water, he wondered if that was good or bad.
* * * *
Katherine had been sitting in her living room listening for five minutes when she realized what she was doing. She heard Jack showering while she carried her box to her office. And he’d been shifting around in his apartment for a few minutes. She heard him let Archer out as she settled on the living room couch with a book. Then, the noises had stopped.
What was he doing down there? He hadn’t turned on the television or the stereo and he wasn’t cooking dinner. Could he have decided to take a nap? He didn’t normally nap, even after a rough night.
Could he be sitting on his couch trying to figure out why she wasn’t making any noise?
Intending to go to the kitchen and make a cup of tea, she stood up and crossed the room. Instead, she walked down the stairs, out her door and around to his front door. Once there, she knocked, for lack of any better idea. Looking down, she realized she hadn’t even changed out of the blouse and jeans from in-service.
When he opened the door she noticed he looked a little less tired and a lot more wary. And he wasn’t wearing a shirt. He leaned his right shoulder against the open door. “Yes?”
“I thought you might like a back rub.” She held out her hands as if that would explain her presence. It sounded plausible.
“A back rub,” he repeated. He reached up and massaged his neck.
She rubbed her hands together. The scent of Irish Springs soap surrounded her. “I thought after those night runs and the yard work, you’d be pretty sore.” She could feel her throat tightening up and wondered how long it would be before she lost the ability to speak altogether. “You said you were worried about your muscles locking up. I thought I could help.”
“Kate—”
“Please?” She stepped forward so she could block open the door if he tried to close it. Unfortunately that brought her much closer to him. Close enough to touch. “You did all that work. I owe you something.”
“I guess. If you want to.” He stepped back to allow her inside. “What do you want me to do?”
Katherine licked her lips. What did she want him to do? She wanted him to talk to her again. Like he used to. “Let’s spread a blanket on the floor in the living room for you. I'll get it.”
“No, I’ll get it.” He shuffled through the hall and into his bedroom.
Katherine went into the living room and slid the coffee table against the television to make a large enough space to work in. When he returned with the navy blue blanket from his bed, she helped him spread it on the floor.
“Lie down.”
Jack stood warily on the far side. “You don’t have to do this.”
“I know. You didn’t have to do the entire back yard by yourself today either. Lie down.” She pointed at the blanket.
Jack stretched out on the floor groaning and Katherine knelt next to him. “Tell me if it gets too hard.”
“What?” He pushed up on his arms as if he wanted to skitter away like a crab.
“If I’m pressing too hard. What… oh.” She blushed when she realized how he’d taken her statement. “Lie down, and tell me if I’m hurting you.”
She swallowed as the words came out of her mouth. Everything had two meanings. Of course she was hurting him. She’d been hurting him for months and couldn’t seem to stop. He hadn’t said anything. Instead he’d gone out and reconditioned the backyard. Brushing her hands across his muscular back, she oriented herself. Everything felt tight, as if he were holding his entire body rigid. “Are you relaxed?”
“No.”
“I can’t help you if you don’t relax. I’m just going to hurt you more.” She rubbed her hand down his spine. “Better. What made you decide to work on the back yard today?”
“It seemed like a good idea.”
She worked in from his shoulders to his neck, feeling the tension in his muscles ebb further. “Are you upset about something?”
“No,” he grunted. His shoulders tightened under her hands, revealing his lie.
“Are you sure? You tend to use physical activity to calm yourself.”
“I do?” He sounded both amazed and alarmed.
“You do. I thought maybe that’s why you took on a big project today.” His entire back felt knotted even after he relaxed, but she suspected there would be a bad spot. She knew she’d found it when he groaned again. Up to then he’d been stoic and silent, even though she knew she had to be hurting him. There was a series of lumps in the small of his back where she expected. He was lucky he hadn’t hurt himself working.
“So is there something bothering you?”
“Nothing I can’t handle.” He shifted his head to the other side, facing away from her.
“All right.” She focused on the knots, admiring the light, even tan he’d acquired already in the roofing season. Occasionally he worked with his shirt off. She knew because she made a point of driving past his job sites when she could. Figuring out where they were r
equired some detective work she wasn’t proud of. She’d asked around school to find out who was having work done. Her coworkers were more than happy to tell her if Tomm’s Roofing was doing a job in their neighborhood. The students required bribes, but the extra credit she’d handed out hadn’t made a difference in their final grades.
She’d nearly convinced herself she was doing it so she wouldn’t be surprised again, but hadn’t been as successful with that as she had with the detective work. Still, it was hazardous for her to stumble on his work sites. She’d nearly totaled her car the first time, because she hadn’t known he was working on a house on her normal route home from school. When she’d seen him strolling across the roof of a little bungalow without his shirt in the late afternoon sun, she’d nearly missed a curve and plowed into one of the stately elms lining the street. After that, any time she’d been able to glean where he was working, she’d made a point of altering her drive home, or taking a long walk before their work wrapped up for the day. It was all she saw of him now that they weren’t spending half their free time sharing meals and splitting bowls of popcorn while watching a movie.
“Kate?” Jack turned his head again, and she realized he’d said something, and she’d missed it.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t hear what you said.” She felt her color rise again, glad he couldn’t read her mind enough to know why.
“I asked how your in-service day was.”
“Oh, the same. Getting grades done and turned in. Finishing the letters of recommendation a couple of the students asked for. I had lunch with the English department at Micelli’s, and they harassed me all through it.”
“Why?”
“They wondered what I’d be doing all summer now that I don’t have to spend it in the basement,” she lied. The entire lunch conversation had revolved around her and Jack. What would they be doing all summer? If they weren’t dating already, when were they going to start? And why weren’t they dating? Anyone who missed Randy’s gossip and Kitty’s enthusiastic observations had heard from a student ‘Ms. Pelham brought a really cute guy to the dance.’ She felt the amount of gossip surrounding her love life was an excellent indicator of how dull everyone else’s lives were.
Three Alarm Tenant Page 18