Chapter Eight
Chad’s mother was only forty-seven, but her hair had been solid white for as long as he could remember. In Chad’s mind, her premature gray occurred approximately the same year that his father had left them. However, though she’d often been exhausted and definitely stressed at trying to make ends meet on her own with two children, Mae Martin never complained. And she never let her children believe that there wasn’t anything they couldn’t accomplish.
She entered Chad’s house with her tan overnight bag draped across her shoulder and a red teddy bear in her hand. “Hey, sorry I’m late. They were putting out the Valentine’s display at work, and I wanted to get Lainey something.” She indicated the bear. “Isn’t it precious?”
The bear held a white heart with Too Cute embroidered across the center.
“Very precious, just like our little lady,” Chad said, holding the little lady and kissing her cheek. “Look what Grandma brought you, Lainey.”
Lainey’s smile stretched into her cheeks, and she reached out, not so much for the bear, but for her grandma. “Gamma.”
Chad’s mother dropped her overnight case on the couch and took Lainey. “How’s my little angel?”
“She’s great,” Chad said. “And she’s been pretty excited all afternoon. I told her you were coming to spend the night.”
Lainey accepted her teddy bear and snuggled her nose against his face. “Tank oo.”
“You’re welcome, darling,” his mother said. “I’m glad you asked me to stay here tonight. Lainey does seem to do better when she sleeps in her own bed, and I didn’t want you rushing to get home early to pick her up from my place. This way, if you and Jessica want to go to a late movie, you don’t have to worry.”
“I appreciate that, Mom.”
“No, I appreciate the chance to spend time with her.”
“I’ve got her dinner ready and was just about to put her in the high chair,” he said.
“I could’ve done that,” his mother said, frowning a bit.
“I know, but you’ve worked all day, and I didn’t want you to have to worry about cooking, either. I fixed enough for you, too. Nothing special, chicken fingers and mashed potatoes.”
“Lainey’s favorite,” his mom said, following him into the kitchen and locating one of Lainey’s oversize dinner bibs on the counter. She snapped the pink bib in place and then put Lainey in her chair.
Lainey clapped when she saw her plate, then scooped up her sippy cup and started working on her juice.
“Okay, you’ll probably need to head out, right?” his mother said. “Don’t worry about us. We’ll be fine.”
“I know,” Chad said, kissing the top of Lainey’s head and inhaling the sweet scent of her baby shampoo. “Love you, sweetie.”
Lainey’s lips smacked as she released the sippy cup. “Wuv oo.”
“I didn’t mention it before, but I wanted to let you know that I’ll probably need to leave early in the morning. That’s okay, right?” she said, turning away from him and busying herself with the dishwasher.
Chad knew why she hadn’t mentioned it, and he also knew why she was avoiding looking at him. “You’re working tomorrow? I thought you weren’t working Saturdays anymore. Is there something you need, Mom, because I can give you—”
She audibly exhaled, turned back to him and smiled. “Honey, I don’t need you to give me anything else. You do way too much for me as it is.”
“I’d like to do more,” he said, as he often did. She let him buy her a decent car and she’d accepted the fact that he was determined to put a nice sum of spending money in her bank account each month, but she wouldn’t let him support her completely, no matter how many times he asked. Chad was making good money now, and she’d struggled her entire life, working until she could barely stand up, all because she never wanted Chad or Becky to want for anything. He simply wanted her to be able to rest and enjoy life for a change. “And if you don’t need me to help, why are you going in on a Saturday?”
“I volunteered. They’re shorthanded at the store to morrow, just for the early hours. I’ll be done by eight, and I thought I’d come back here then so you can go to your practice.”
“My practice?”
She pointed to the calendar on the side of the refrigerator where Chad had notated that tomorrow morning was the first baseball practice for the local men’s league. He’d signed up last year and found that he really enjoyed getting out and burning off some energy with other guys his age. Most teams didn’t start practicing until February, since the first game wasn’t until mid-March but Chad and his friends were anxious to get started. And they really liked to win. Plus, his mom enjoyed keeping Lainey while he went, and once it started warming up, she’d even brought her to the games. “You don’t need to miss the first one.” She closed the dishwasher and moved to the table to sit beside Lainey while she gnawed on a piece of chicken.
“It wouldn’t have been a problem for Jess and I to change our plans to tomorrow night,” he said.
“No, indeed. This isn’t just some ordinary date. This is Jessica Bowman.” She paused, helped Lainey guide a spoonful of potatoes to her mouth. “I never knew what happened back then between you two, but I know that you still loved her long after she moved away. And I know that she was a good girl, an honest girl. She wouldn’t have lied to you.”
Chad knew what she was thinking. Jessica wouldn’t have lied to him—not like Kate. But his mother wouldn’t complete the sentence, not with Lainey nearby. Even though she was only eighteen months old, they were very protective of everything she heard that concerned her mother. And unfortunately, there wasn’t anything good that could be said for Kate, except that she’d given him Lainey. For that, he’d always be grateful to her, in spite of the pain she’d put him through.
“I’m telling Jessica tonight,” he said.
The spoon stopped momentarily as his mother processed that. “About Kate?” she asked, her mouth flattening as she guided the potatoes to her granddaughter’s waiting open mouth.
Lainey swallowed, reached for her juice and slurped. Then she turned her attention back to the chicken, which she could handle easily on her own. Chad’s mother took the opportunity to focus on her son.
“What, exactly, are you telling her?” she asked.
“Everything.”
She nodded, as though she’d known and expected, no less. “About Lainey, too, then.”
“Yes.”
She leaned toward her granddaughter, ran her lips across Lainey’s baby soft curls. “Such a little darling. And to think, what could have happened.”
Chad didn’t want to think about it, but he’d have to tonight because he didn’t want to start a relationship with Jessica unless she knew and understood everything about Kate. And Lainey. “Mom, you know how I feel about Jess. And if we’re going to be together I don’t want any secrets between us.”
“I know.”
“I want her to know about what happened during the years we were apart, and I’m wanting to learn the same about her. There’s something I haven’t told you about Jess. She has a son. His name is Nathan.” He’d talked to his mother several times since he and Jessica had run into each other on the college campus, and he’d told her about her returning to school, working in the day care, spending time with Lainey.
However, he hadn’t told her about Jessica’s little boy. He hadn’t wanted her opinion of Jess to change, and like she’d said earlier, she’d always seen Jessica Bowman as a good girl. Which was only right. Jess was a good girl, an honest girl. Yes, she’d had a baby before marriage, but he didn’t want that marring his mother’s opinion. Now he wanted to hear her say it didn’t.
“She has a son?” Her green eyes widened a bit, mouth rolled inward as though she were trying to comprehend the reality.
“More,” Lainey said. She’d dropped the spoon, since Grandma was handling it better anyway, and now waited to be fed. She opened her mouth wider, emphasizing her requ
est.
Mae smiled at her and fed her another spoonful, then another, while Chad waited for more of a response. Finally, when Lainey grabbed her sippy again, she said, “His name is Nathan?”
“Yes, and he’s actually in kindergarten at Claremont Elementary. She was a little nervous about moving him midyear, but he’s doing okay.” Chad grinned. “He likes spending time on his own, and Jess was a bit worried about that, but I reminded her how you and Mrs. O’Ryan had been concerned about me for the same reason, and I think he’s going to be just fine.”
She’d started breaking up additional bits of chicken for Lainey, and her hands paused for a moment. “He’s in kindergarten?”
“Yes.”
“Have you met him?” Her question came quick, as though she was concerned about the possibility of Chad meeting Jessica’s son. But Chad wasn’t concerned at all. He knew he’d get along with Nathan as well as she got along with Lainey. And after his conversations with her last night about Nathan, he now had a bit of insight to what the boy liked—primarily a challenge. In fact, he’d surfed the net awhile this afternoon looking at building sets for kids over eight. True, Nathan was five, but he liked a challenge, and Chad was definitely the right guy to help him out. That’d be a great way to bond, too, creating something together.
Chad couldn’t wait—not only to play with the little boy but to grow closer to a child who was a part of Jessica.
“Have you? Met him yet?” his mother asked again, and she seemed to be trying to control the urgency of her tone.
“No,” he said, grinning. “But if I don’t meet him tonight when I pick her up, I’ll definitely meet him tomorrow. We’re taking Nathan and Lainey to Hydrangea Park to feed the ducks.”
She inhaled, and Chad thought she was going to say more, but then she remained silent.
“I’m sure Nathan and I will hit it off,” he assured.
Her smile was genuine now. And she nodded. “I’m sure you will.” She blinked a few times, and Chad noticed her eyes glistening, the way they always did when her emotions were getting the best of her.
“Mom, it’ll be okay.”
“Do you know anything about Nathan’s father?” she asked hesitantly.
“I know that Jessica loved him, and I know that he didn’t want to marry her.” He paused. “I’m hoping she’ll open up and talk to me about it tonight. Nathan’s a big part of her life, and I’m praying that means he’ll be a big part of my life, too.”
“He didn’t want to marry her?” Her head cocked to the side, eyes squinted as though finding this completely absurd.
“I don’t understand either, but she said he never asked. Like I said, I’m planning for us to talk, about both of our pasts, tonight. And then, I’d really like the two of us to stop talking about the past—and concentrate on the future.”
“You always loved her.”
It wasn’t a question, and Chad didn’t have to answer. She knew.
Lainey’s head rested against her shoulder. Her hands were no longer making any effort to maneuver the food on her plate, and her eyes paused between blinks. Her grandmother noticed and eased her out of the chair.
“I think we’ll take a bath and put on jammies.” She looked at Chad. “Jessica is staying with her parents now?”
“Until she finds a place of her own.”
“I haven’t seen them in a while. Maybe I’ll give them a call, you know, and catch up.” She drew Lainey close. “I suppose I’d have seen them, maybe would have kept up with Jessica more if I’d have kept going to church.”
Chad didn’t know what to say to that. His mother hadn’t been on the best of terms with God in a long time. She’d taken him and Becky to church when they were young and when they all went together as a family. When he still had a father at home. After his dad left so did her faith.
But a few times during his high school years, Chad had convinced her to come. Easter, Christmas and a couple of special services when the teens were putting on plays for the church and Jessica had encouraged him and Becky to take a part. Chad remembered standing on the stage dressed as a shepherd and seeing his mother sitting on a pew beside Jessica’s folks and big, wet droplets falling like water down her cheeks. She’d never discouraged Chad or Becky to have a relationship with God; she just hadn’t been able to muster one up herself.
But Chad suspected that deep down she wanted to go back. And he thought that perhaps God was showing him an opening to help her make that happen. “I want Lainey to grow up going to church,” he said, and instantly recalled Jessica’s similar statement. “We’ve been a few times, but it hasn’t been consistent. And I think it’s important and that it, well, that it’ll make her life better, if she goes.”
Her mouth quivered involuntarily before she seemed to regain control. “I think so, too,” she whispered.
“But I honestly believe that it’s important for the whole family to go, together,” he added.
Again, she nodded. “I do, too, honey. And I would love for that to be the case for you and Jessica and Nathan and Lainey. Wouldn’t that be something, after all these years, for you two, and your children, to be a real family? It’d be—” she paused “—a dream come true.”
He suspected she wasn’t only talking about his dreams. She was talking about hers. But she didn’t understand Chad’s statement.
“Mom,” he said, moving closer to her and running a palm across the back of Lainey’s head, now slumped on her shoulder as she slept.
“Yes?” she asked.
“When I say I want the whole family to go together, I mean the whole family. I want you there, Mom. And more important than that, I’m certain that God wants you there, too.”
A single tear slipped free. “I don’t know. It’s been a long time.” She gave a watery smile. “I’m not sure He even remembers me.”
“How could He forget the best mother in the world?” Chad asked, pronouncing her with the very words that he always used to describe Mae Martin, and meaning every syllable. He loved her with all of his heart, appreciated everything she’d done for him more than he could ever express, and he wanted her to have everything he could give her and more. And the thing that was most important and that he believed would help her find true happiness…was God.
She sniffed, patted Lainey’s back. “Hey, you’re going to be late, and this is an important night.”
Chad moved closer, kissed her cheek. “I love you, Mom.”
“I love you, too.” She started across the kitchen toward the hall.
“You’ll think about it? Church on Sunday? Because I’m planning to take Lainey, and Jessica will be there with Nathan, I’m sure. It’s important that I meet him, but it’s important for him to know you, too.”
“I’ll think about it,” she promised, and Chad nodded. For now, that was all he could ask. That and one more thing.
God, be with me tonight. Give me the courage to tell Jessica about everything that happened with Kate. And help her to trust me enough to talk to me, really talk to me, about what happened to her over the past six years. Help us to nurture this bond we have and help it be even stronger than it was back then. He heard the water starting in the bathroom, listened as Lainey woke to the sound and started chatting about her bath. And God, be with Mom. Help her to find You again, and help her to find happiness again. Let her see how a real family can be, with me.
Chapter Nine
Jessica was glad that her work at the day care center kept her busy throughout the day. She could literally feel her anticipation for her date…and for the conversation that she would have with Chad tonight. Right now he knew he wanted a relationship with Jess and knew that he wanted to meet her son so they could introduce their children to the idea of the two of them together. In a few hours, he’d realize that the introduction was much more than that.
He would be introduced to his son.
“Jessica, are you okay?” Her mother stood at the doorway to the kitchen, her face showing unhidden c
oncern. “Honey, it’ll be all right. You’ve been planning to talk to him and tell him about Nathan for years. And it’s the right thing. He should know that amazing little boy, and Nathan is going to adore his father.”
“I know, Mom, but I also know how much it would have meant to Chad to be there for Nathan—and for me—the entire time. I don’t know how he’s going to handle the fact that I kept him from Nathan, even if I did what I believed was best at the time.” Sitting on the couch, Jess fiddled with the belt on her dress. “Should I change?”
Her mother smiled. “You’ve changed twice already, and each outfit was fine. I like that dress. You’ve always looked good in red, and now is no different. Besides, Chad is going to think you’re beautiful no matter what you’re wearing.” She moved to sit in the rocker facing the couch. “He was always in love with you, honey. And I can’t imagine those feelings will be any less than they were back then, in spite of the years between. The two of you shared a special bond, and you share a son together, even if he doesn’t know that yet.”
“What if he can’t forgive me?” The question had been at the heart of every thought Jess had throughout the day, and she couldn’t shake it now.
Her mother eased out of the rocker, moved to the couch and scooted close to Jess. “Honey, you need to have faith in Chad and faith that God will help you through this time. Chad will forgive you.”
“I don’t know, Mom. I’ve kept him from his son for nearly six years. What if it simply isn’t possible for him to forgive that?”
“I have a question for you. Who was it that said, ‘With God, all things are possible?’”
Jessica swallowed. “Christ.”
“Exactly. I tell you what, the best thing we can do right now is pray—pray that God will be with you tonight, right beside you when you have that tough conversation and pray that he will allow Chad to see the truth, that you did what you thought was best for him back then and that the best thing for both of you, and for your children, is to move forward.”
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