“Uh-huh,” he said, balancing the phone between his shoulder blade and ear. I wasn’t sure whether I should interrupt him or not, so I stood there listening quietly. “That’s amazing. Yeah, I’ll keep that in mind. Well, she’s staying through Sunday, so anytime between now and then. We’ve got plans tomorrow. I’m taking her for a picnic on Catalina Island.”
A picnic! A wide smile spread across my face. So that’s what the surprise was! I backed out of the kitchen, not wanting him to realize I’d overheard.
“Friday at ten sounds perfect. I’ll double-check with Kat and let you know if there are any problems. Ciao.”
I waited a few minutes and then strolled into the kitchen.
“Hey!” he said, looking pleased to see me. “I didn’t realize you were up. How are you feeling?”
“Refreshed,” I said. “What are you up to?”
“Just doing a little cooking. Believe it or not, I’m not so bad in the kitchen. Even if I don’t know how to ‘properly serve wine,’ ” he said, winking.
We both laughed.
“I was going to whip up some penne and a salad. But if you’re not in the mood for Italian or you’d rather go out tonight, this will keep.”
He cooks, too? This is getting dangerously close to perfection.
“No, Italian sounds great,” I said, sitting down on a kitchen stool. “Are you thirsty?” Jagger asked.
I nodded, and he retrieved a mineral water from the fridge and handed it to me.
“So I just got off the phone with Ronnie. She wants to know if you’re up for meeting this Friday at ten A.M.?”
“How do you know her?” I asked. “She directed a few commercials I did and we’ve kept in touch,” he explained, dumping the carrots into a large salad bowl. “Does Friday work?”
“Uh, maybe,” I stalled.
“Kat, is everything okay?” he asked, eyeing me with concern.
I bit my lip. “Mostly.”
He seemed taken aback. “Is it something I said?”
“God, no. It’s just . . . I don’t know how to explain this.”
Jagger set down the vegetables and turned to face me.
“Try me.” I decided to come clean. “It’s this MTV business. It’s freaking me out,” I said, letting out a breath I hadn’t realized I was holding.
He looked confused. “Really? Why? It’s not a big deal,” he assured me. “Well, of course it’s a big deal, but it’s nothing to get stressed over.”
“That’s just it. The stakes are too high. I don’t know if I can handle it.” There, I’d said it. I’d admitted I wasn’t cut out for this business, that I was too much of a coward to try my hand at the Hollywood fame machine.
Jagger gave me a lopsided grin. “The stakes of From Fat to Fabulous were high and you did that.”
“That was different. That wasn’t real show business.”
“So? With Fat2Fab you were risking a lot more. You were being filmed constantly.” Jagger took a few more steps, until he was right in front of me. “What are you afraid of, Kat?” He placed his hand gently on my forearm and I drew in a breath. It was tough to concentrate when he was this close.
“You think I’m so fearless, but you’re wrong. I’m scared all the time,” I admitted.
“I never said you were fearless. I just think you’re a lot braver than you give yourself credit for.” He put his hands on my waist and gently guided me off the stool. I leaned forward, hugging him. He had a wonderful, rugged smell.
“So are you,” I said, resting my chin on his shoulder. It was electrifying to touch him again after so long. My heart felt like it was going to beat right out of my chest and float away. “I’m scared of the ‘what ifs.’ What if I audition and they hate me? What if I make the show and it bombs?” I said in a voice barely above a whisper. “What if I move out here and then a month later have to pack my bags and head back to Memphis?”
Jagger squeezed me tightly. “Hollywood’s a tough town, but you’ll manage. And if you have to move back it won’t be the end of the world. Either way, I don’t want to lose this,” he said, nuzzling the side of my face, covering it softly with his lips. “Us.” He gently trailed kisses down my neck. “Besides,” he murmured, his breath tickling my ear. “I’ve always wanted to visit Graceland.” He kissed my neck for a moment longer, his lips soft and tantalizing.
Then he pulled away abruptly, leaving me virtually panting for more. “I’d better put the pasta on if we’re going to eat at a decent hour,” he said, looking slightly flustered. “I could do garlic bread, if you’d like.”
“That sounds good.” I struggled to regain my composure. “On second thought, maybe we’d better skip the garlic?”
Jagger gave me a shy smile. “Good call.”
We stood there in a comfortable silence for a few minutes. He was such a calming person. I remembered how soothing he had been that night of my disastrous dinner with Nick.
“Hey,” I said, making a decision. “You can go ahead and call Ronnie and confirm with her.”
He raised his eyebrows. “So you’re going for it then?”
I smiled. “Yeah.”
“And you’re certain? Because there’s no way of predicting what will happen, how far things will go.”
“I’m certain.”
“Good.” He smiled.
“Life is always going to be unpredictable,” I said. “I guess what I’m realizing is that isn’t so bad. A few months ago I never would have imagined I’d be here, sitting in this kitchen, watching you cook me dinner.”
Jagger picked up a bottle of olive oil and began dribbling it over the lettuce. “Yet, here you are.” He smiled.
“Here I am.”
Epilogue
Right after the news went out that I’d landed a hosting gig on Wake-Up Call, Nick phoned and asked if I’d given any thought to reconciliation. “We still have that trip to Hawaii,” he said.
At first, I thought he was joking. He feigned ignorance, pretending not to have read the latest gossip.
Jagger and I were officially a couple.
“That’s brilliant that you’re going to be on MTV, Kat!” Nick had said. “And it makes what I have to say even harder. I behaved so foolishly when we met. I didn’t recognize your potential. I was thinking only of what would best serve my needs at the moment.”
He went on to say he hadn’t been in love, but was merely “helping” Alyssa, and that she was “helping” him. In other words, they’d been mutually using each other.
“Zaidee pressured me into it, saying a love affair would boost ratings. I should never have listened to her,” he’d said. “It was you I really wanted to be with, not Alyssa.”
“That’s too bad.”
“Next time I’m in town let’s get together for a coffee,” he’d said. “We can plan our Hawaii trip.” I go to L.A. quite frequently now. So often I’m thinking of leasing a flat there.”
“Sure thing, Nick,” I said, “If time permits.” Then I hung up the phone and put him on my “do not answer” list.
So Alyssa and Nick were breaking up. It seemed everyone else was getting together: Donna and Kevin Arp were engaged and Janelle was mulling reconciliation with her ex-husband Matt (oddly enough, being on the show had brought back their feelings for each other). Even Regan had a new boyfriend—and would be taking part in From Fat to Fabulous 2 as a special consultant.
We all e-mail back and forth on a regular basis, and we’re planning to meet up soon. These days my Gmail inbox is always full.
Despite being nicknamed The Brat, I’ve won my fair share of fans. Heavy women all over America e-mail to thank me for speaking out on their behalf. Sometimes they stop me on the street or in restaurants and say hi.
I have no illusions. I know that fame is fickle, and that remaining in the limelight for longer than fifteen minutes is an admirable feat.
But I’m optimistic. And I’m risking things.
I’m not waiting for life to begin anymore.
Discussion Questions
Do you find it ironic that Kat wants to go on a reality show, when she seems to have so much trouble facing up to reality herself?
Why do you think Kat was so attracted to Nick, even though she had never met him?
To what extent do you think Kat lives in a fantasy world?
Discuss Kat’s relationship with her best friend, Donna.
How has Kat’s weight affected her life? Do you think she sometimes blames her weight for certain failures or disappointments? Does she use her weight as an excuse?
Why do you think Kat and Nick were initially attracted to each other?
Have you ever met someone online? How did it turn out?
The reporter who interviews Kat says, “the American Dream is no longer rags-to-riches. The new American Dream is fame.” Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Who was your favourite character in the novel? Least favourite?
Do you think Kat’s nickname, Kat the Brat, was well-deserved? If so, why?
The Next Big Thing Page 31