by Ruth Hay
“Right you are, Mavis! I have eliminated the ones I am not that keen about and what remains are two choices; the craft store that needs volunteers for just two days a month, and the Seniors’ Transportation Service. I’ll check out both of these and see what is most appealing.
Thank you for this, Mavis. You have opened my eyes.”
Mavis nodded with a satisfied grin on her face. She really did know her old friend very well. It remained to be seen if she would choose the driving option over the craft store. Mavis was confident that was the way it would go.
“Now, Mavis, I believe it’s my turn to provide the meal on Sunday. What do you think I should cook? Also, what topic of conversation should be introduced for the good of the group?”
Mavis cornered Eve in her room on the pretext of offering her flowers from the garden.
“It’s the last of the gorgeous roses, Eve. I think they will look so good in here, particularly as you have that beautiful painting you did of the rose bush earlier in the summer.”
Eve Barton knew well that Mavis was on a mission but she did not have the heart, or the strength, to refuse her entry. There was a heart-tie between them ever since the awful scene with her former husband in the bedroom at Camden Corners. Mavis had saved her life by intervening then. It was something Eve would never be able to thank her for sufficiently. Letting her into her room was a minor concession and, if truth be told, she was tired of her own company and exhausted with trying to sleep night after night.
“My dear, Eve, you look worn down. Is it the old dreams rising up again? How can I help?”
There was a deep sigh in response as Eve gave up trying to prove she was coping.
“Mavis, you help just by being here. There’s no one else I care to talk to about my feelings and yes, the nightmares have returned and I am at the end of my tether.”
Mavis knew the time was right at last. Eve’s barriers were weakened and she could finally respond to help.
“Let’s sit here by the window. I always think a view of the garden brings peace to the mind, but then, I would think that, otherwise all my hours out there would be in vain!”
“You have done wonders, Mavis. There’s something new to be seen every day. I wish I had such a satisfying creative outlet at my fingertips.”
“But of course you do, Eve! Your garden paintings have brought me such pleasure. I know you could do even more if you wanted. You have a real talent.”
If was as if she had forgotten about her painting in the dark depth of the depression that had her in its grip. Mavis saw her friend’s eyes focus on the garden and then switch to the walls of her room where the best of her paintings were framed and displayed. She was looking at them in wonder. She hardly recalled painting them with such delight, so far removed from joy were her present feelings.
Mavis felt a familiar pain in her heart to see such despair. This was not a new experience. Many times before, in the courthouse, she had counselled clients who were about to walk into a courtroom and lay bare their worst nightmares for public scrutiny. It was so hard to face the deepest fears but she knew it was the only way forward.
Doctors often prescribed powerful drugs to cushion their patients from the worst of the mental pain, but Mavis believed this was merely a delaying tactic and one that could lead to severe addictions in those who were particularly susceptible. She preferred, and practised, talk therapy. It was the only way to excise the mental boil and let the suppurating poisons escape. Talk was the only way safely through the trauma to health again. It had worked for Eve before, and Mavis had confidence it would work again. This present depression was a temporary throwback.
“Eve, my dear, you are now free of Howard. The divorce is final. He was jailed and has been released under serious consequences should he ever approach you again. We have a security system in place. We have two dogs. You are in this room far from the front doors, close to the elevator. You are safe here among friends.
What is troubling you? How can I help?”
“Oh, Mavis! I am struggling on my own. Yes, I am trapped again in that awful bedroom with Howard and you, but there are also the fears and doubts about the years of my marriage that went before the final confrontation. I am haunted by the mistakes I made, the abuse I endured, and the time I lost when I could have been living fully. Why did I allow him to take over my life? Why did I permit him to impose his will on me; to stifle me in every way? He is a brute and a monster but I chose him, Mavis! I stayed with him. I allowed the situation to exist for far too long.
What is wrong with me? I thought I was a good person with good instincts and yet I fell into a trap I could not extract myself from. How can I ever trust myself again? How can I paint pretty pictures when I am churning inside with all this dark pain?”
Mavis quailed under the assault to her senses of the long, excruciating confessions that poured out of Eve in an unbroken stream. She knew she had to maintain equilibrium. She must not show how agonizing it was to hear this from her friend; to experience a tiny bit of the trauma occurring just a few yards away from the kitchen where Eve did so much to make life pleasant for her fellow housemates.
What Mavis chose to do and say next, was going to be crucial to Eve’s recovery.
She bent forward and wrapped Eve in her arms and stroked her back without saying a word. It gave Eve comfort and provided a few seconds when Mavis could marshal her thoughts and make a plan.
When Eve began to sob, it was the signal that a change was coming. Mavis reached into her pocket and produced a large handkerchief, one of a batch she had saved from her husband’s drawer before leaving the cottage. She allowed Eve to weep until she had released her pain. There would be much more talking to be done in the coming days; much more examination of the whys and wherefores, but for now there was a more immediate task to be announced.
Mavis gently untangled her arms and placed the handkerchief into Eve’s hands. Then she went into the washroom where she knew Eve stored her large folder of blank paper for preliminary drawings. She found, on a nearby shelf, a box of charcoal pencils and a set of HB drawing pencils which were exactly what she was hoping for.
When she returned to the table and chairs by the window, Eve had mopped up her face and was looking mystified at why Mavis had disappeared so suddenly. She recoiled when she saw the paper and pencils in her hands.
“I can’t draw! I just can’t do it, Mavis.”
“Please give this a try. You can choose paint or pencil. It’s up to you which medium you prefer but you must draw this darkness out of your soul in any way, or any form, that helps. Draw any symbol or scene. Draw as if your life depends on it. Draw until the pages are full. Draw until you fall asleep.
Tomorrow we will burn these drawings on a pyre in the garden and you will be done with them.
Then the healing can begin.”
Mavis Montgomery spoke with such conviction that Eve could not resist. It was a strange idea but it was something that might work. Nothing else had. She picked up the charcoal and a page of pure white, clean paper and began to scrawl black lines and curves randomly across the paper.
She did not notice when Mavis quietly left the room to go to the kitchen and prepare a tray of coffee and food. Eventually Eve would exhaust herself and require nourishment. After that she would need sleep above all. It would be her first deep, healing sleep in many weeks, and the first step toward sanity again.
Chapter 9
Faith prepared well. She found an old T shirt and cut it in two. She intended to tie the cloth on the ends of the ladder that would be leaning against the tower. On her first attempt to get inside the tower top she would not carry anything. This was to be a trial run to check out safety and the time it took to set up and remove the ladder.
She felt excited and not a little apprehensive as she waited for darkness. She opened her room door and listened until the house was silent, then tiptoed outside, lifted up the ladder and carefully tipped it over the porch railing and onto th
e tower wall. The top of the ladder, now padded, was placed between two of Hilary and Mavis’s windows. Fortunately, the women had drapes which were pulled shut against the evening air.
Faith was wearing jeans and a hooded sweatshirt. Her shoes were rubber soled. She pulled herself up and over the porch railing and tested the bottom of the ladder for stability. In future, she might need a mat of some kind to keep the ladder from slipping but she could not wait for that. Her excitement grew as she realized her objective was so close.
Slow and steady. Take it easy. Listen and watch. Take your time. Press on the small doorway at different spots to see how it opens. Be careful.
She was almost to the point where she was going to give up and try again on another night, when she pushed firmly on the centre of the doorway and it suddenly popped open. Now she could see inside. The space looked good but the most dangerous part of the expedition was still to come. She must leave the security of the ladder and crawl inside the tower.
She listened and waited while she took deep calming breaths. An owl hooted in the woods and she nearly dropped the mini torch she had bought in the dollar store.
Steady now. Almost there. Move slowly.
First she moved her grip from the ladder to the lip of the small doorway. Next she moved up one step at a time to see if her knees were level with the lip. Once she made the transition to the inside of the tower top there was no going back. She realized it was essential not to disturb the position of the ladder if she ever wanted to exit again.
Hands, then knees. Slowly, slowly. Watch my feet don’t touch the ladder. Move forward. Shuffle along on my knees.
In at last!
There was a drop of a few inches to the base of the tower top space. She turned on the penlight and scanned the area. The small windows let in starlight but they were better than black darkness which might be claustrophobic. She reached back with one hand to pull the door partially closed. As she had no idea how to open it from the inside, it must remain safely ajar for now.
Her penlight finally reached the floor and she recoiled in horror. The floor was littered with tiny dead corpses of flies, bees and wasps some of which were now clinging to her jeans.
Ugh! Get off me! Get off my hands!
She drew her feet up toward her and pushed the debris far away from her with her shoe soles then she scanned the windows to see if there was a hole that let insects come inside.
Nothing! This must have happened years ago when the house was built. Don’t be a baby, Faith!
Once she had calmed down again she assessed the space for a comfortable place to sit while she worked on the vlog content and sent it out to the internet. She could lean against the fixed panel adjacent to the entry one. There was room for her legs to extend to support her tablet. She figured it was dim enough in the light from her tablet that her face would be partly obscured. She meant to hide her hair and wear dark glasses, at least at first. She intended to be a shady lady since all this could be for nothing if she got no useful responses.
On her next trip she would load her backpack with the tablet, a small cushion and a plastic bag with a brush and pan for the dead bodies. Air freshener would be a nice addition. She could buy one of those ones made for cars.
She took a moment to congratulate herself with a mental hug for making it this far. If the return trip could be accomplished with the same degree of silent success, she had something very exciting to tell Jolene. After she slept for a few hours, of course.
There was one more lesson to learn on the return to Harmony House.
After stowing away the ladder and creeping back to the front door on tiptoe, Faith had her hand on the door knob when she heard the sound of the key being turned inside.
Oh no! I could be locked out for the night!
She simultaneously knocked quietly on the door with her right hand and pulled down her hood with her left, pushed up her dark glasses into her hair and unzipped the dark sweatshirt.
Mavis opened up the door and was astonished to see who was there.
“Faith! What on earth are you doing outside? I thought you were fast asleep by now.”
“Sorry, Mavis! I was restless because of First Day school nerves and I went for a walk in the cool air to see if it would make me sleepy. I forgot the time.”
“Well, you are lucky. I usually lock up before this. You don’t want to be stuck out there for a whole night, do you?”
“No, of course not. I’ll be careful in future. Thanks, Mavis.”
Safely behind her own room door, Faith breathed normally again while absorbing the impact of this new knowledge. Mavis Montgomery locks the front door just after dark each night which means she stays up later than I thought. I must get a key made for the door. There’s a place in the mall that makes keys. And I need to be super careful at, or near, those tower windows in future.
“You did what?
Where was it? You did this at night and no one heard you, or saw you?
J.J. I am impressed! It sounds like a perfect secret hideaway.
When are you going back there? I have the YouTube site set up for you. You can start right away.
Are you sure it’s safe? I remember the tower and it seemed pretty high up.
No, no one can hear me at the moment. I’m inside my bedroom closet with the door shut.
Yes, I’ll keep this totally between us. Don’t worry! But I must say this is very exciting and a bit spooky. What if you get a response and find your father?
No! No! I understand you can’t think that far ahead. No guarantees, of course. It’s the internet after all and we will have to be cautious. I’ll see you in school tomorrow.
Well done, kid!”
* * *
Jolene’s response was very satisfying but such conversations would need to be in school time in future. Faith could not risk anyone at home overhearing her. Today was Labour Day and tomorrow was the start of the school term. She would set out her outfit for school and make her preparations for the first online vlog. Then she would take a nap. This was going to be a very busy term. It would be Thanksgiving before she knew it. She wondered if, by then, she might have something special to be thankful for.
No point in dwelling on that thought. One day at a time. One vlog at a time.
* * *
On the evening of Labour Day, Faith’s first video went out. The basic lines were written on a card Faith held up to the camera. She then added some personal comments about how difficult it is not knowing your real parents and how her mother had secrets she never explained before her early death.
“It’s tough to hear about this family stuff later on, when you should have known it all along. I think secrets can be dangerous so I am trying this way to get the truth out in the open.”
She finished by holding up the printed sign again, then clicking off. The whole thing took only three minutes at most. It would be posted online in seconds and then Jolene could see if it met her standards.
Faith had enough on her mind related to grade ten’s new classes and teachers to worry much about the vlog idea. She had done what she said she would. The rest was up to whatever angel, or devil, watched over the internet.
* * *
Jolene, however, was not willing to leave everything to chance. She was up early on the first school day and checking out the vlog site. She thought J.J.’s first attempt was brilliant. The atmosphere was dark and intriguing with the barely-seen face and the blank wall behind her but the spoken part where Faith actually said how she felt had the most impact. She would encourage her to do more of that.
In the meantime, she would send out a link to her Facebook friends, Instagram followers, her Twitter pals, her Reading Group and anyone else she could think of. She might even do a Pinterest board for this while still maintaining the necessary secrecy.
As soon as she finished, she rushed through breakfast and walked to the bus stop to meet J.J. They had arranged to assemble the J.J. Group before school, inside the mall for c
offee at Tim Horton’s and a face-to-face chatter session, but she needed to have a few private minutes with Faith before the day began.
* * *
“Hey, there! Don’t you look boss! I love the purple theme you are rocking girl, and where did you find the shoes?”
“Never mind that, Jo! Have you checked the vlog out? I had no time this morning.
Anything happening?”
They were walking away from the school toward the mall across the street. No one could overhear them.
“I don’t see a response yet, J.J. but it’s too early. We need more content. Give it a few more days and things should get interesting. Can you do it tonight?”
“It’s complicated, Jo. I have to be very careful.”
“Please try to keep it up for a few more sessions. What you did is amazing! Very spooky and fascinating. Your own spoken stuff was ace. You will get responses for sure!”
“Yeah, but what kind of responses? I am not convinced it’s worth my time and effort.”
“Think of the long game, J.J. This could be life-changing for you.
Look! There’s the gang!”
* * *
First Day of Grade Ten.