by Abbi Glines
“Why? Why would you explain anything for them? If I’m not mistaken, you were interested in me and Sawyer came and swooped in and took me right out of your grasp. Am I wrong about that?”
Ethan let out a hard laugh and shook his head, “No, you got it right.”
“Okay, then why are you here trying to help Sawyer smooth things over?” “Because he’s my friend,” Ethan replied. “And so are you.”
He was such a nice guy. Bless his heart; he had no idea what he was mixed up in. This was not fixable.
“Well then, you need better friends,” I muttered.
“Sawyer had never poached on any girl he thought his friends might be interested in. When he acted the way he did with you, I didn’t like it but I knew something was different. You must’ve gotten to him in a way no one else did because he was not acting like himself.”
“I was a means to get back at Ashton,” I replied sourly.
“Maybe in the beginning you were, Lana. I thought that too at one point. I know now that it changed. It became something more.”
“Not enough. Whatever it became, it wasn’t enough. No one will be able to compete with her,” the tears clogging my throat just pissed me off. I was not going to cry again.
“There’s no competition,” he said softly and I refused to cry in front of him.
“Just go, Ethan. Please,” I turned my head away from him and closed my eyes. After a minute of silence, I heard him stand up and walk away.
Silent tears streamed down my face as the words, “There’s no competition” replayed over and over again in my head.
Sawyer
I hadn’t been home an hour when Beau called me. He asked me to meet him down at the bar for a game of pool. I’d tried to tell him I just wanted to take a hot shower, two Tylenol and get in bed. My body ached. How the heck did he not want to curl up and crash too? Besides, what about Ashton? Didn’t he want to go see her?
Pulling into the gravel parking lot, I looked around for Beau’s truck. I found it over by the far end of the building. Ethan’s Jeep was right beside it. I needed to apologize to him anyway. I stepped out of my truck and headed for the door.
It was a slow night but then not many people came to the bar on a Wednesday. Thursday through Sunday were the busy times here. I’d only been a few times with Beau but I’d passed the place several times. I knew which nights had a full parking lot.
“Well, if it ain’t my favorite nephew,” Aunt Honey called out from behind the bar.
I nodded my head in her direction, “Hey, Aunt Honey.”
“Want a beer? I can already tell you that you’re probably gonna need it.”
What the heck did that mean? I started to tell her no and then figured if I couldn’t have a hot shower and painkillers a beer was the next best thing. “Sure, thanks.”
“Go on over to the boys. They’re waiting on ya. I’ll bring ya a beer in just a sec.”
“Yes, ma’am,” I replied.
“Told ya not to call me ma’am. Makes me sound like somebody’s mama,” she teased and shot me a wink.
She really was a piece-of-work.
I made my way over to Beau who leaned up against the edge of a pool table with his ankles crossed and a frosty mug of beer in his hand. It was the expression on his face that tipped me off that this wasn’t just a friendly gathering. I was here for a purpose. Slipping my hand into my pocket, I held Lana’s letter between my fingers. Remembering her words helped me deal. If this was bad news, I needed a reminder that she was out there and that she loved me.
“What is it, Beau?” I demanded the moment I was close enough.
“I got some answers for you that you’re gonna want. But you need to remain calm while you get those answers.”
My heart sped up and I froze, “Lana?”
Beau nodded, “Yep. Lana.”
“You know where she is?”
“Yeah, I do. But it ain’t my story to tell,” Beau turned his head and I followed his gaze to Ethan standing a few feet away from us. “Go ahead E, before he loses it.”
Ethan shifted his gaze from me to Beau and I could see the fear in his eyes.
“What do you know?” I started toward him, ready to shake him until he told me what he knew.
Beau’s hand clamped down on my shoulder and stopped me. “You won’t get your answers if you hurt him.” He turned to Ethan. “Ethan, tell him. I told you, I won’t let him rip your balls off.”
My heart started racing and the blood boiled in my veins. The idea that Ethan had somehow had a hand in Lana’s disappearance was making it hard for me to take calm steady breaths.
“You better do this quick E, cause he’s gonna blow in a second and I’m sore as shit from this week. I really don’t want to have to stop this,” Beau urged.
“Okay, yeah. Um, well, you see Sawyer. I got a call from Lana—”
“Why the hell is she calling you?” I demanded, taking another step toward Ethan who backed up a step.
“Get the fuck on with this E,” Beau growled as his hand tightened on my shoulder.
“No. Before. She called me before. The day Ash thought Beau cheated. She called me that day and told me she needed a favor. She said she couldn’t stay here anymore and needed my help. I picked her up and—”
“WHERE IS SHE?” I roared, taking another step his way. Both Beau’s hands clamped down on my shoulders.
“Easy bro,” he warned.
“Lord have mercy boy. Drink this beer and chill out. The girl is safe and if you’ll let the kid talk you’ll find out where she’s at,” Aunt Honey stood in front of me shoving a mug of beer into my hand. “Here, hold this. That way you can only hit him with one fist.”
“Go on, Mama. I got this,” Beau said behind me.
“Hmph, don’t look like it. But I hope you’re right. I ain’t payin’ for no repairs if he goes bat shit in here,” she replied.
Setting the beer down on the edge of the pool table, I didn’t take my eyes off Ethan. He knew where she was. He KNEW where she was.
“I took her to her friend’s condo at the beach.”
She wasn’t there. I’d called Jewel... wait. He’d taken her there?
“Did you see Jewel? Did she actually go into a condo?” I asked, hoping that I’d been played by that crazy ass friend of hers.
“Yeah, I carried her bags to the door. Jewel came outside squealing and all happy to see her. Then I went back,” Ethan began.
The words that he went back sent off a possessive blaze of fury. I shrugged off Beau’s grasp and stalked over to tower above Ethan, “What does that mean? You went back?”
“Not so fast. He ain’t finished. Don’t fuck him up now,” Beau growled, hooking his arms in both of mine from behind and pulling me back.
Ethan wiped at his forehead nervously and gulped. “Listen man, I didn’t know. I thought you’d moved on. I didn’t know how you felt about Lana. When I came to your house Saturday to talk to you about Lana that was the first time I realized that I’d made a huge mistake helping her run away. So, I went back. I was going to fix it. She wouldn’t listen to me. Hell, I couldn’t even say your name.”
“She was there? When did you go?” I was backing up. I needed to know. I had to get to her.
“She’s there. At the condo. Condo unit 103. Kiva Dunes,” he called out and I started running for the door.
Then the words from the phone conversation with Jewel came back to me, “In the meantime you could come visit me. I’d make you real happy. I’m staying at Kiva Dunes condos on West Beach. Unit 103. My room is on the far corner looking straight at the water instead of the windows facing the pool.” The crazy bitch wasn’t so crazy after all. I’d bet my ass the room was Lana’s. Jewel was trying to tell me without ratting out Lana. Beau was right. Lana was careful with who she let get close. Jewel was one helluva liar though. I’d completely believed her. The dumb blonde thing she had going really threw me off.
I reached for my truck door and reali
zed my hands were shaking. I knew where Lana was. And I was going to get her back.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Lana
I couldn’t stay in this room one more night. Of course, I didn’t want to go out into that wild mess either. Before it got too carried away, I locked the door to my room and went to the window to escape. I didn’t want anyone making themselves at home on my bed while I was out. I didn’t think any of them would attempt to get in the window. I’d been locked away for two weeks. Everyone knew, by now, that my room was off limits.
Making sure no one saw my escape, I headed down to the water. Just a long walk to stretch my legs and breathe in the clean ocean air and then I’d head back to hole-up for the night. Maybe I wouldn’t be so restless tonight. Breaking into a jog, I pushed all those memories that tended to creep in when I let my guard down to the back of mind. I imagined myself running from all of it. Leaving it in the past as my hair flew out behind me. Silent tears streamed down my face as I let it go... one memory at a time.
Sawyer
This place was like a frat house. I didn’t like that. I didn’t like it at all. I started to knock on the door when music pounded through the thin walls. Some bikini-clad girls leaned over the railing on the second floor and called out what all they wanted to do to me if I’d just come on up. Shaking my head, I headed for the corner room that faced the ocean.
A guy had a girl pressed up against the side of the building and I was more than positive they were having sex. This crap had surrounded Lana for two weeks. I was going to kill Ethan once I got back home. She didn’t belong here. If someone had touched her... I stopped myself. I couldn’t do this. I had to win her back. If I went all caveman, she would fight me.
Turning the corner the window facing the ocean greeted me. I glanced at the other windows to this unit and they all faced the pool. It had to be Lana’s room. I knocked and waited but there was nothing but silence. The lights were off. Could she actually be somewhere in this wild bunch of people? I reached down and thought I’d check and see if the window was locked. It wasn’t. Not smart, Lana. Didn’t she know better than to leave her windows unlocked? Anyone could have gotten in. I didn’t want to think about it. I needed to focus.
Pushing the window open, I stepped inside the room and the sweet smell of her perfume filled the room. Jewel had given me directions straight to Lana and I’d missed the cue. The room was empty. I glanced over toward the door and realized it was locked. So, she’d escaped through the window. She wasn’t at this party.
She’d be back. I just needed to wait. I was close. Sitting down on the bed, I reached over and took a pillow. Holding it to my nose, I inhaled. God, I missed this smell. Burying my face in her scent, I sat watching the window... waiting.
Lana
The tears were dried on my face as I made my way back to the condo. I’d run for over an hour. My lungs burned and my legs would probably feel like Jell-O tomorrow. I wasn’t big on exercise so this was gonna hurt.
Pulling up my window, I stepped inside to find someone sitting on my bed in the dark. Naturally, I screamed.
“Lana, it’s me.” Sawyer’s hands were on my arms instantly. Sawyer... Sawyer was here.
I stood frozen, trying to decide if I’d passed out from the running and this was a dream.
“I didn’t mean to scare you. I’m sorry.” The words “ I’m sorry,” snapped me out of my shocked haze and I jerked out of his grasp and moved away from him and toward the door quickly.
“Lana, please don’t. Please listen to me. Don’t shut me out. You have no idea—”
“I have no idea? Me? Yes, I have an idea. I want you to leave. Do you understand me? LEAVE. I. Do. Not. Want. To. See. You.” I was yelling but I knew no one would hear me over the noise outside.
“Lana, please,” Sawyer begged and walked toward me hesitantly. I closed my eyes and crossed my arms protectively over my chest. I hated how the pleading sound in his voice pulled at me.
“If you ever felt one small amount of anything for me, you’ll leave and let me move on,” I whispered fiercely.
When he didn’t respond, I was torn between joy that he was leaving meaning he felt something for me, no matter how small it may be, relief that he wouldn’t be here to witness me crumble to the floor, and agony because seeing him had completely ripped me open.
I heard the faint rattle of paper and I opened my eyes slowly to see Sawyer standing in the same spot with a worn looking letter in his hands. He began to read:
“I made the mistake of opening my heart up to someone who clearly could never feel the same about me. I knew Sawyer loved you. I’ve known it since we were kids. I thought maybe just getting his attention for a short time would be enough. It wasn’t.”
My chest felt like it was going to explode. He had the letter I’d left Ashton. Oh, God.
He lifted his eyes from the paper and looked directly at me with so much pain in his eyes and something else... “I loved Ashton once. She was my childhood crush. She was all I really knew. But when she left me, I didn’t cry. When you left me, I wept like a baby.”
I stopped breathing as he lowered his eyes back to the paper in his hands.
“I’ve grown up with two parents who never once thought about me in the choices they made. My emotions weren’t something they concerned themselves with and maybe that is my fault because I didn’t speak up. I just pushed the hurt and anger deep inside me. I wanted to be strong because I knew they were weak. I’m tired of being strong. I’m tired of being second best. I need someone to love me.” He stopped reading and lifted his eyes to stare at me once again. “You should never and I mean, never, be anyone’s second choice. Anyone who doesn’t see you for the incredible gift you are is a blind bastard.”
He lowered his eyes back to the paper and began reading again,
“Staying in Grove isn’t a possible option for me. I let myself hope for too much. I’ve been broken too many times. I can’t stay somewhere near... someone who will eventually destroy me.” His green eyes lifted to meet mine and the tears glistening in them took my breath away. “If I lose you because of the blind idiot I’ve been then I will be the one who is destroyed.”
He continued to read:
“You had the right Vincent boy all along. Don’t take him for granted this time. He loves you in a way that I hope to one day inspire in someone. He would give up the world for you. When you have someone that special, that incredible that loves you, don’t let it go. This is your second chance to treasure what you’ve had all your life. Sawyer was always the Vincent boy worth fighting for. He’s the special one.” Sawyer slowly folded the paper and rubbed his thumb over it as if it were something precious then tucked it back into his pocket.
“Ashton didn’t have the right Vincent boy. I know this because I understand now what love really feels like. The kind that consumes you. Love holds the power to break you. It holds the power to complete you. When I read this letter, I was standing in Ashton’s living room after fixing things for her and Beau, which was all I wanted to do. They belong together. They’ve always belonged together. I get that now. Not because she chose him, but because you chose me. Until you, I was lost. I thought Ashton was what my life was supposed to be. Letting go of the comfort zone that our relationship represented was hard. Then you came into my life like a light bursting through the darkness. You made everything make sense.” He took a step closer to me and I fought the urge to throw myself in his arms.
“Lana. I think about you every minute of every day. When I’m with you, my world is complete. When I touch you, I understand the meaning of life. When I lost you, I completely shattered. You. Own. Me.”
A tear rolled down my face and dropped from my chin. That wasn’t enough. This time I needed more.
Sawyer reached out for my hand and pulled me closer to him. I wanted to melt in his arms but I couldn’t.
“I love you, Lana. I love you so much. Everything about you. The way you lips curl up slowly when y
ou smile, the freckle right under your perfect little bottom, the way your laughter sends warmth flooding through my veins, how your touch lights me on fire. I love you and I will spend the rest of my life making sure you know that you are my number one. You will always be my number one.”
That was it. That was enough. That was all I’d ever need to hear.
Chapter Twenty- Five
Crazy Girl by The Eli Young Band woke me up from a very good dream. Stretching, I felt Sawyer’s arms tighten around me. “Crazy girl, don’t you know that I love you?” kept playing and I turned to look up at Sawyer who was reaching for my phone.
“Why is my phone turned on and why is it singing a country song?’ I asked groggily as he looked at the screen and then dropped his gaze to mine.
“It’s your mom. Talk to her or she’ll worry.”
I gaped at him, “My mom? But—”
“I got your phone out of your bag last night and turned it on. Finding you had my adrenaline pumping so calming down was hard to do. I changed your ringtone to the song that makes me think about you.” He lowered his mouth to mine and sang, “Have I told you lately, I love you like crazy, girl?” along with my ringing phone. I couldn’t get mad at him while he was doing something like that. Early-morning-singing-Sawyer was just too freaking sweet. Even if he’d made it possible for my mom to call me.
Sighing, I took the phone from him and answered, “Hi mom.”
“Oh, Lana, you’ve turned your phone back on. I’m so glad. Does this mean you’re going to come home? I’m so ready to see you.”
“No, I’m not coming home. Not yet anyway.” I met Sawyer’s gaze and wondered what I was going to do. I wasn’t sure I’d be welcomed back at Aunt Sarah’s after I’d run off like that. “I don’t really know what I’m going to do next.”
“Why are you doing this? Is it still about Sawyer? I can tell you that—”
“Mom, it isn’t about Sawyer,” I replied, reaching up and running my hand through his messy hair. “He’s perfect. I just don’t really know yet how I’m going to finish my summer.”