by KJ Bell
After a shower together, in which we ran the water cold, I prepare food in the kitchen for a barbecue we’re hosting today at his ranch. He slips in behind me, brushing my hair to the side, his other arm slipping around my waist. His warm breath caresses my skin as he kisses my neck. “Let’s skip the barbecue,” he whispers.
I spin as his hands grip the counter on both sides of me.
“We have guests showing up in fifteen minutes,” I remind him.
He slides the salad bowl out of the way before his hands cup my ass. I’m hoisted on the counter as his hips push forward splitting my thighs. He growls in my ear, nipping at my earlobe and whispering dirty thoughts—words that wet my panties. “We’ll put a note on the door—‘party’s cancelled’.”
I laugh, but if I’ve learned anything about Battle during our time in the middle, it’s that when it comes to sex he never jokes. He’s dead serious right now, and when he reaches up under my dress, stroking the outside of my moistened panties, he knows I’m willing.
Heat rushes to my cheeks, and I avoid his shimmering eyes. If I look into them, I’ll say yes. As much as my body yearns for him, I haven’t seen Marty and Ginger in weeks. I miss them.
“You better start the grill,” I say, pushing my palms into his chest.
He groans, pulling me to the edge of the counter against his erection. My core aches, and my resolve begins to fade. “Please,” I whimper. “I miss my friends.”
His grip loosens as he lifts my chin. Our eyes meet, and I bite my lip. His expression worries me. I’ve never denied him.
“If I’m smotherin’ you, you need to tell me,” he says, his voice strained with worry.
I hold his face tenderly between my hands. “You aren’t smotherin’ me,” I say quietly, but he still looks worried.
“I never want to come between you and your friends.” He cups his hands over mine. “I would never alienate you from them or your family.”
“You aren’t, I promise.” He looks skeptical, and I lower my hands. Some worry remains under his small smile, and I don’t think it has anything to do with me. While I want answers now, I’ll ask for them later. Right now, I want to ease his mind and give him something to look forward to. With a grin, I reach up under my calf-length sundress, and wiggle out of my panties. His head tilts curiously as I hand him the ball of wadded pink satin and say, “Keep these in your pocket.”
Without hesitating, he stuffs them in the right front pocket of his jeans, his eyes on me still. “You’re naughtier than I ever expected you to be.”
“Why, Battle McCoy, do you put women in a sex expectations box?”
He roars with laughter and then his expression turns serious. “Only feisty blondes that get under my skin.”
“I got under your skin?”
He hums, brushing our noses together. “Since the moment I saw you, and once this party’s over, you’re gonna be under me, where you belong.”
The doorbell stops me from telling him to put the note on the door. When Battle goes to greet our guests, I hop off the counter, burning with desire. What is he doing to me? I can’t believe I gave him my panties.
I feel like sticking my head in the freezer, but Tucker enters the kitchen behind Battle. He introduces me to Stacy who holds their three-month-old, Ryder, in her arms. He’s adorable with perfect cherub cheeks. She asks Battle if he would like to hold Ryder. Without reluctance, he swoops the newborn from her arms. He makes faces, a gleam of pure admiration twinkling in his eyes, as Ryder coo’s at him.
It warms me in an unforeseen way. I want this joyful moment one day with my husband and my baby. Uncertainty brews in my thoughts. Battle openly admitted he didn’t think he would ever be able to give me marriage.
Am I wasting precious time playing house—pretending I’m okay with what he wants? At twenty-five, is my biological clock ticking? Does it matter? I have to be content in the middle or capable of walking away. I’m not comfortable with either outcome, but leaving him is impossible.
“So Faye, how did you do it?” Stacy interrupts my thoughts, absently twisting a lock of long brown hair around her finger.
Battle and Tucker have left the room with the baby. She didn’t wait long, and I’m annoyed with her cattiness. At least she could say the words, “land Battle.” Or whatever other stupid way she could think of to express her curiosity.
“Do what?” I ask, wanting to hear her define “it.”
“Convince Battle to hear Tuck out.” Oh. I wasn’t aware she knew I had anything to do with the two of them making peace. My intervening created problems for her and Tucker, and while they’ve worked them out, I assume I’m not her favorite person. I avoid her gaze and go to the fridge for salad dressing. “I’m not mad,” she adds.
I exhale and turn around, facing her. “It’s none of my business,” I say, feeling uncomfortable. As the instigator of the drama that kept Battle and Tucker apart, she should be mad—at herself.
“It is your business if you care about Battle, which from what I hear, you do.”
“I do,” I say and drop the salad dressing off at the table. Next, I straighten napkins, and fidget with utensils, hoping she’ll take a hint. I don’t care to discuss Battle with her. Her eyes stay on me, waiting, and I finally look at her. “I don’t need the details. It sounds like the three of you worked through it, and I’m happy for you.”
“I want to thank you.” Her lips lift to a bright, friendly smile.
I hadn’t anticipated her gratitude. The sincerity in her voice tells me she truly means it. “You don’t have to thank me.”
“I do. I was hurt, and I made a huge mistake. So many times I wanted to make it right, but then I got pregnant, and I was scared Tuck would leave me.”
I may not understand her actions, but I can relate to her fear.
“Stacy, you don’t have to explain. I’m not here to judge you, and I don’t harbor any ill feelins’. People make mistakes. I’m happy Battle and Tucker are friends again, and if I have anything to say to you, it’s to learn somethin’ from your mistake and move on. Tucker also made mistakes, but I think he’s a good guy and a great father. As far as you and I go, I’d like it if we could be friends.”
"You are as sweet as Battle said you were.” She smiles again, this one different, more secretive. “And I’d like to be friends, too.”
“Good,” I say, feeling better about Stacy. I return her smile. “He told you I was sweet?”
“Girl, that man is smitten on you. I never thought I would see him fall in love.”
Her words blindside me and nearly knock me off my feet. “You think he loves me?”
“He hasn’t told you?” she asks, as though truly surprised.
I shake my head. “Did he tell you?”
“He didn’t have to. It’s obvious.”
My hope fizzles. She sees him making an effort with a woman as love, but I know the truth about his feelings. He’s not anywhere close to falling in love with me, yet he utterly consumes me. I’m definitely in love with him. Each time he stares at me for any length of time, I try to see his requital reflecting back at me, but all I see is conflict. I see pain and suffering and unwillingness to try. He says he’s trying. I believe him, but his heart is in charge, and it’s not ready to trust me.
The middle is much harder than I anticipated.
Roy barks when the doorbell rings. Battle enters the kitchen with our friends behind him and Ryder still in his arms, which sends another pang of emotion through my heart. I ignore the compression and hug Marty and Ginger.
Austin lifts me up in the air, grabbing my ass, which thankfully I know him well enough now that I’m not offended. It isn’t sexual. JT hugs me like a polite gentleman. My friends being here puts my worries on the back burner for now. I’ve missed them, and I drag them into the backyard to catch up.
Stacy joins us, and I introduce them. The guys man the barbecue, drinking beer, while the little man, Ryder, rolls around in his playpen. The girls and I
laugh, drinking wine. It thrills me that Stacy fits right in with us. I like her. A lot in fact, and I hope Tucker is as changed a man as he appears. If he hurts her again, he’ll be answering to me, and by the looks of it, Marty and Ginger as well.
The air quiets when the side gate opens and Cooper appears with Katie by his side. Battle didn’t mention he was bringing her, which means he didn’t know either. Her appearance conflicts with when I first saw her. She wears little makeup. A long skirt buckled at the waist hides her legs, and her conservative blouse covers her cleavage.
Cooper gets a warm welcome from the guys. Katie gets a polite one. The three women next to me get up and greet Cooper with hugs, and Katie with cold hello's, before they return to their seats. I hug Cooper first and welcome Katie with a warmer hello than my friends. She clings to Cooper’s side, her nerves visible. I realize the girls weren’t entirely accepting of her. She has to be uncomfortable.
“Katie, why don’t you leave these men alone, and come chat with us.”
She nods, but before we reach the group, she asks if she can talk to me alone. I invite her inside curious as to what she wants to speak with me about. She chews her fingernails as we sit at the table in the kitchen.
“I wanted to thank you for being so kind to me.”
That’s the second time today I’ve been thanked unnecessarily. Why do I suddenly feel like the group therapist? “You don’t need to thank me.”
I offer her a beer, but she declines. She goes on to tell me how hard her life’s been, her broken and chaotic home life, raised by a drunken father, and her feelings for Cooper. I stare at her blankly, unsure of what to say, or why she picked me to share her life story with. “You think I’m crazy, right? I mean if he’s been unfaithful before, then he’ll do it again, and all.”
Her choices are her own. Cooper’s situation itself is crazy. I don’t know her well enough to offer my opinion, but I do feel kind of sorry for her. She needs a mother to talk to, and it sounds like she doesn’t have one. “I don’t think you’re crazy, but Coop’s tryin’ to work out his own—”
“I’m pregnant,” she spits out before I finish.
“Is it Coop’s?” I blurt without considering how judgmental it sounds. “I’m sorry,” I say full of regret, but unable to truly take it back.
“Of course it’s Coop’s.” She stares at her hands, silent tears falling from her eyes. “I don’t sleep around. I’d never done anything before like I did with him. My friends talked me into goin’ out that night, and dressed me up like a slut. I drank a little more than I shoulda and woke up next to him.”
I could easily be her, defending my first night with Battle. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to imply anything. You caught me off guard. How’s Cooper feel about the baby?”
“He doesn’t know.”
“Oh, honey, you have to tell him.”
“I can’t yet. I know it doesn’t make sense, but we’ve been spendin’ a lot of time together the last couple of months. I’m in love with him, and I’m kinda hopin’ he falls in love with me for me, and not because he feels obligated to. I have a daddy who did right by my mama, and it didn’t work out so well. Mama bailed when I was three.”
A small laugh falls from my mouth. How can I argue with her? “I won’t say anything. It’s your business, but you may want to consider how he’s gonna feel about you lyin’ to him.”
“I’ll tell him soon, I promise. I just had to tell somebody. My friends would never keep quiet, and my daddy would lose his mind.”
We return to the barbecue. Scooter arrived while we were inside. Evelyn, Erinn, and James walk through the side gate into the backyard. As I watch the men circulate around Evelyn, hugging her and carrying on, I realize how close she must have been to Battle’s friends before her cancer. They’re going to lose someone too when she goes. Erinn darts past me to go inside. I hug Evelyn and James, introducing them to Katie.
Battle asks me to get him a platter to clear the grill. When I go inside to find one, I notice five missed calls on my cell from my father. I haven’t spoken to him for weeks, since he again tried to convince me to go back to Wyatt. We had a huge fight. I finally accused him of using me for political gain. He didn’t deny it and hung up on me. I can’t talk to him now and I ignore my phone and return to the party.
I smile through dinner, realizing how much I love my friends. I love Battle’s friends and his parents. My mind drifts to the missed calls from my father. My parents should be here, enjoying the beautiful evening with us. My father and I have both been stubborn. I resolve to call a truce, no matter how much I have to concede to make it happen. I love my family and want them in my life.
After dinner, our group gathers around a campfire, falling into an easy comfort with each other. The guys share riding stories, which leads to jokes about everything from ability to penis size. Scooter takes the brunt of the teasing, giving it right back with glowing enjoyment.
The scene personifies the biggest difference between men and women. Women have feelings. Not that men don’t, but women would never get away with saying to each other what the guys have tonight—and still be friends.
I smile, thinking I’m not only falling for Battle, but his family, and his friends. Before long, James announces he’s taking Evelyn home. The fatigue on her face worries me, but I assume she did too much today. As they say their goodbyes, I hear Erinn ask Katie when her baby’s due.
Katie whips her head around to me. “You told her?”
I lift my hands up, shaking my head. “I didn’t say anything. She must have overheard us talkin’.”
“You’re pregnant?” Cooper yells. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Tears form in her eyes. She looks pleadingly at me before returning her gaze to Cooper. “I wanted you to be in love with me before I told you.”
“Damn woman, you think I’d spend all my time in Oklahoma and bring you here today if I wasn’t in love you?” I smile as he lifts her in the air and spins her around. He sets her down and howls into the air. “I’m gonna be a daddy.”
After a round of congratulations, Evelyn, James, and Erinn leave. The rest of us share a toast to Cooper and Katie. My phone rings while I’m inside gathering desserts. I see it’s my father again. With a long sigh, I answer it.
Before I can say any more than hello, he delivers news that brings me to my knees. “Honey, Wyatt and Gunner were in a car accident … It’s bad.”
My lips tremble as I ask, “How bad?”
“Wyatt’s unconscious. They’re not sure he’s gonna make it. I think you should come to the hospital.”
I agree and end the call. The room spins slightly as I try to stand. I clutch the edge of the counter, but I can’t walk, my legs weighted down with fear. Memories of losing my gram haunt my thoughts. How am I going to go back to that hospital, and under similar circumstances?
“Faye, what’s wrong?” Battle asks, his words clouded.
My head falls forward as the possibly of Wyatt dying crashes into me. I hear Marty and Ginger talking before they’re at my side.
The warm droplets streaking down my cheeks remind me I loved Wyatt most my life. We may not be together, and I may be angry with him, but I can’t imagine him being gone. The last words we shared were hurtful and cruel, spoken by both of us. He can’t die. He just can’t.
“Wyatt’s been in a car accident. I need to go to the hospital.”
“I’ll go with you,” Marty says.
I can’t look at Marty and say it. She and Gunner were close while Wyatt and I were dating. “Mar, he was with Gunner.”
“Oh, God,” her expression turns frantic. “Let’s go.”
I look up, expecting Battle to be hurt, but he pulls me close, holding me firm to his chest. His free hand moves over my hair, his heartbeat soothing me. I don’t want him to let go. “I’m comin’ with you. Let me get my keys. I’ll drive.”
“You don’t have to do that,” I say, but I honestly want him to come. I need him. “
You have friends over.”
He pulls back, stroking my cheek. “Friends I can trust in my home so I can be there for my girlfriend when she needs me,” he says and leaves.
His referral to me as his girlfriend makes me happy, but his wanting to be there for me has my heart singing.
Mine and Wyatt’s parents pace the waiting room. Gunner’s mother is there as well. I notice Marty’s sad expression. Her and Gunner maintained a friendship after I left Wyatt, and I know she cares a great deal for him.
“What happened?” I ask, hugging my mother.
Mrs. Daughtrey lets out a loud sob.
“We’re not sure,” my mother says, guiding me away from the noisy waiting room and down a hall. My father follows us, as does Battle. “Gunner was drivin’ and lost control somehow. They flipped and hit a utility pole.”
My hands shake as I cover my mouth. I try to ask if he’s going to be okay, but I choke down the words before they come out.
“What’s he doin’ here, Faye?” my father asks rudely, as his eyes appraise Battle.
Anger bubbles up inside at how my father looks at Battle like he’s trash.
“I’m here for Faye,” Battle answers politely.
“This is a family matter, and we don’t want you here.”
“Daddy,” I scold, appalled by what he’s said, by how he’s behaving.
Battle takes a confident step toward my father.
“No disrespect, Mr. Callahan, but I’m not concerned with what you want. I care about Faye and her friend and the gentlemanly thing to do was to drive them here. Your daughter is upset, and I’ll be stayin’ as long as she needs me here.”
My eyes widen. No one ever challenges my father. He’s a large man with an imposing presence who’s accustomed to people bowing out at his request, but Battle isn’t about to cower.
“Well, son,” my father says, extending his hand. Battle shakes his hand, their gazes jarring for control. “I have to respect your chivalry, but I can take care of my daughter.”