by Talis Jones
“You don’t know much about a certain profession then,” Arcas smirks.
I wrinkle my nose. “Well excuse me.”
“Considering your already established relationship with the man, this wasn’t your best work,” Yosef cuts in clinically. “You’re better and quicker than that when you want to be.”
Arcas rolls his eyes knowingly. “Oh don’t feel bad for him, Maddy. He’ll be fine.”
“I don’t!” I deny hotly. “I was just struggling to find the right opening but then I did and now I have the invitation so why are you scrutinizing my technique? I got it done, okay?”
Frocket hovers in the corner and when I catch her eye she gives me a supportive thumbs up behind their backs. I flash a brief smile then stare down Yosef. “I suppose I have you to thank for the missing donkey?”
“The what?” KJ asks baffled.
Yosef holds my gaze with no remorse. “You were moving too slowly so I decided to give things a little shove.”
“I could’ve done it on my own,” I mutter.
“Oh I know you could have,” he agrees. “You just didn’t really want to.”
My mouth opens and closes, soundless. He’s right. His dark eyes pierce mine and for a moment they reflect the same conflict churning within my own, but then it’s gone and I rip my gaze away to storm back up the stairs. I pick up the phone and contemplate sending a ping even if Charlie won’t see it or answer for hours possibly then decide against it. Instead I slap on my headphones and scramble for music to drown everything out.
“Seven seas and minor keys…”
By two in the afternoon a knock comes from the front of the church and Castor opens it to find a delivery Android holding a large package. Surprise shifts to fear followed by caution carving his face because we never have anything delivered directly. Ever.
“Delivery for Maddy,” the Android smiles seemingly oblivious to their hostile surroundings.
“Maddy get the fuck down here,” Castor bellows and I get up from the couch where I’d been watching.
“I didn’t order anything,” I insist.
“Who is it from?” Castor barks.
The Android’s smile never wavers. “Client confidentiality does not permit me to divulge their full information however they did give instructions, should it be requested, to say that the gift is from Charlie.”
“Charlie, is it?”
Yosef’s dark voice causes my spine to stiffen but I don’t turn around to look at him. I don’t need to. I can feel him standing directly behind me and his tone tells me everything else.
Shoving past Castor I take the package from the Android. “I am Maddy. Thank you.”
“My pleasure,” the Android bows then departs.
I turn, the box heavy and bulky in my arms, but find myself caged between Castor and Yosef. “He told me he would take care of getting me something to wear for tonight,” I explain.
“How? When?” Yosef interrogates me mercilessly.
“He sent me a ping this morning and invited me to the ball then said not to worry about finding something to wear.” My brow furrows in puzzlement.
“Maddy,” Yosef says in a voice that has the hairs on the back of my neck rising in warning. “How did he send you a ping when you don’t own a phone or have a neural implant?”
Oh. “He sent me one?” I don’t know why I say it like a question but, “Didn’t Frocket and Arcas tell you?”
Yosef absorbs my genuine confusion then shouts for the two mentioned to appear and they do so in haste at his simmering rage. “Were you two aware that Osman sent Maddy a communications device and did not tell me?”
Arcas shakes his head. “No.” Androids can’t lie and so the liar’s cast lands on me and Yosef’s eyes darken a little bit more.
“Frocket?” he prompts.
“No, I– I didn’t know that’s what it was,” Frocket stammers.
“But you knew he sent something to her?” Yosef latches on like a predator selecting its prey.
“Yes, he was outside the bakery that burned down and said he’d hoped to find Maddy there again and give her a gift and I heard him and offered to take it to her,” she described, her little chest puffing up boldly with each word.
“Ah, I remember,” Arcas chimes in. “Frocket came with a small package for Maddy and I scanned it for explosives.”
“When was this?” Yosef continues
“The morning after Maddy came back from the hospital,” Frocket swallows.
Yosef’s eyes return to mine. “And no one thought to tell me even after one special package for Maddy nearly cost her her life?” The way he says the words and looks at me I know he’s directing that question towards me specifically.
“Everyone get out,” Yosef commands quietly. He pins me down with his anger.
“I didn’t mean to make it some secret,” I assure him pointlessly.
“But you did.”
I slam the dress box down to the ground angrily. “But I didn’t mean to!”
“We don’t keep secrets from each other, Maddy!”
“Yes we do! You do!” I accuse loud enough for everyone to hear it. “You expect me to tell you everything and yet you tell me nothing.”
“You know more about me than anyone except for Karter!” he bellows right back and that confession stuns me for a moment.
“W-what?”
“You really think I tell everyone about how I walked out on my family? About how my mom abused me and my dad would sit there and pretend it wasn’t happening? About stupid shit like dreams and my favorite pastry? You think I put as much effort into caring about what holidays people like as I do yours? You think I’d make a music box for just anyone??” His energy drains away with each sentence slung at my face until he’s panting and the building is quiet save for his breaths and the distant whirring of computers.
“Fuck you, Maddy,” he whispers hurt.
My heart clenches and cramps because it is this moment that he surrenders himself to being fully human rather than the cold, calculating gang leader. And all it took was a dash of miscommunication, a sprinkle of assumptions, and a heaping vat of jealousy.
As if afraid to shatter the quiet, my voice comes out scarcely louder than a whisper. “I didn’t tell you about Charlie when I met him because I didn’t think I’d see him again and didn’t want you to get mad at me for drawing his attention or for you to chase after him for knocking me down on accident. I didn’t want you to get into trouble for me. I didn’t tell you the next time he showed up because you’d told us to keep a low profile and I’d tossed that order away for some credits dangled under my nose. Easy money. I didn’t want you to be disappointed in me. I didn’t tell you about the phone because by then I didn’t want to admit I’d lied to you and have you be angry with me for it. I was afraid and guilty and didn’t know what to do.”
Eyes dropping to my feet I continue sadly, “I still don’t know what was wrong and what was right. You can be impossible sometimes, Yosef, and this life can be intense. Charlie was a reprieve. It felt like an escape and the longer I indulged it the more terrified I became to tell you, for you to find out and hate me.”
Words abandon me and I let the heavy silence return between us.
“I would never hurt you, Maddy,” Yosef swears emphatically.
“I know that,” I nod.
“And yet you were afraid of me, you wanted to escape me.”
At that I lift my eyes and meet his. “No, I just…I don’t really know, we just sort of became friends and it was nice. While here… I feel useless here, like you just decided to make excuses for me and force open some small space for me to fit in in order to keep me here. I’m a failed experiment you have too much confidence in but you like to collect oddities. With Charlie, I’m no one. With him I’m normal.” I take a deep breath. “It’s really nice being normal.”
Yosef studies me for a second, a minute, an hour, I can’t tell. “If Osman invited you to go with him on this dip
lomatic tour of his, if he invited you to go to Eurasia, would you go with him?”
I give him the courtesy of pondering it rather than rushing an answer whatever it might be. With a deep breath I confess, “My heart lies in two places: what I have and what I wish could be. But I’m more aware than most that things aren’t always better just because you move to a different place. I’d still be in danger there like I am here. You gave me a family, Yosef. You gave me a home and I wouldn’t trade that for anything in the whole damn world.”
He nods, his eyes avoiding mine now. “Maddy…”
“Yes?”
“Which one am I?” The question is reluctant and knowing Yosef the emotions around it are equally so.
I sigh and leaving the dress box where I dropped it I walk past him heading out of the vestibule to retreat to my bed. “Both,” I murmur just soft enough that I think he hears me.
My feet reach the stairs when he stops me.
“Maddy,” he calls, a bit of his usual sharpness returning to his tone.
I pivot back around towards him and wait.
“You realize that phone likely has a locator in it like almost all tech these days and that that is how he knew where to send the dress? You realize a powerful dignitary now knows where you live, where we all live?”
My eyes close and a thousand harsh words flay me. “I’m sorry.” Unable to stand there and bear the weight of his judgment I flee up the stairs and collapse onto my small bed. Grabbing my phone I send Charlie a ping.
<> he answers. <
My head slams back against the wall and I bite back the guilt that threatens to squeeze my throat shut in its vicious vice. I’d never used one of these things before and clearly I wasn’t curious enough about it. Less than a minute later I stare at my device settings and scroll through my own tracking data for the past seven days. There’s no way to delete it or to keep it from recording more but I can at least make it private to anyone but me and I do just that knowing it’s too little too damn late.
Thirteen
I don’t consider myself the biggest planner, but for something like this I need a team, schematics, plans, backup plans, everything please! A puff of frustration fogs the mirror as I undo the complete failure piled atop my head and begin again. What if this isn’t even the right style to match the event or my outfit? Not generally caring about such things has vastly underprepared me for this moment.
“For once in my life…” my music box sings from the counter as my fingers trip over themselves in my hair in a manner I suspect is changing things from pathetic to dire.
A knock comes on the bathroom door and my head whips around, eyes wide in panic because I am not ready. Not by a mile.
“Maddy?” Nyx calls. “Want to let me in?”
“Do you promise to be helpful?” I ask, needing to know if this is going to be a trick or treat.
“Just open the door,” she sighs and I can practically hear her eyes roll.
Placing my hand against the scanner I unlock the door and watch warily as it slides open to reveal Nyx who immediately takes me in head to toe and back again with a shake of her head. “Follow me,” she says and doesn’t wait to see if I’ll obey.
Casting one last glance into the mirror at my now very tangled mop of hair I follow Nyx up to the community sleeping quarters which I generally claim as my own since Nyx and Castor have their own places they use half the time, KJ and Yosef have their own rooms here, and Arcas recharges at his station on the main floor when he needs it. Of course, now that Frocket lives here I’ve got a permanent dorm buddy and no private space…at least she isn’t the worst roommate. She hasn’t tried giving me a haircut while I sleep like Nyx did one time she came home drunk from a party. My whole body shudders at the memory of that disaster and explains the collection of hats in the trunk at the foot of my bed.
“You’re sober, right?” I decide to check.
Nyx flings her arms out. “Oh my cash that was one time!!”
“A traumatic time,” I mutter.
“Yes, well, I’m clear as an Android right now and motivated by this large payout we’ve been promised,” she grumbles. “Now sit down here and shut up while I fix this monstrosity.”
Accepting her assurances I plop down into the chair at the high-tech vanity that belongs to Nyx and we’ve all been warned that if we ever touch it, it’ll be the last thing we can touch and I’m not about to risk losing a hand for curiosity’s sake. Pressing her palm to a pad the vanity comes to life, a white light rings what has now become a mirror and handles pop out of the smooth-faced drawers to allow one to pull them open and explore their holdings.
Without hesitation Nyx removes a hairbrush and comb from one of the drawers and begins resetting my hair to factory mode before her fingers begin braiding and weaving. She holds pins in her mouth and takes on the same focus she uses for a job while I just sit as still as I can, obeying when she tells me to move my head this way or that. Grabbing a can of mist she twists the top to change settings then lays a gentle spray all over her finished masterpiece.
“Wow, Nyx,” I begin.
“We’re not done,” she breezes, still locked into that mission focus. Spinning me away from the mirror she slides open another drawer and begins placing all sorts of small objects onto the little counter. After mixing a few things I wouldn’t know what to do with on a small palette, she begins to paint my face. Actually paint it!
“Um, Nyx…”
She levels me a look that freezes me back into place. Makeup isn’t really my thing and one time at a salon they tried to do something to my face but it felt like being stabbed with brushes and sponges only for the result to look embarrassingly bizarre. They smeared such a heavy coating of the muck on my face in an effort to cover up all my freckles that it felt like a gross mask and without my freckles on my face I looked a bit like a corpse. I still had freckles everywhere else so my face had become an odd, unnatural blank spot and I hated it. But Nyx is an artist and if makeup is required for the ball then I’ll have to just deal with it.
Ages later (or what feels like ages), Nyx has finished my hair, my makeup, and zipped me into the simple, sleek soft white gown adorned with no small amount of gold embroidery that rises from the hem like the flames of dawn. It fits perfectly. The white made my hands shake when I first opened the box but…it isn’t the same, there’s gold, a lot of gold, and besides I have to stay in mission mode this time. I can’t fall apart. I won’t. Besides, it’s different. It has gold, a lot of gold.
I mentally slap myself. The crew is counting on me. It’s fine. That was just a moment of weakness long ago.
“Yes I think you’ll do,” Nyx decides still scrutinizing my every inch. Reaching for my shoulders she turns me towards her vanity’s mirror and I grin.
“Nice!” I say enthusiastically. Twisting this way and that I take it all in and do a little dance. “You’re amazing, Nyx.”
“Part of my job,” she shrugs.
“Nah,” I disagree teasingly. “You love it. Come on, admit it.”
“Fine. Whatever,” she huffs. “Here.”
Nyx holds up another mirror that slid out of the vanity’s larger one and holds it so I can see the back of my head and the intricate design she’s woven there. My dress is simple save for the gold design and my head matches: simple makeup that subtly accents my eyes and mouth with my hair as the elaborate star.
“You didn’t hide my freckles,” I notice.
Her brow pinches. “Why would I?”
I shrug. “The one time I tried makeup at a salon they caked it on.”
“Tch. Idiots,” she snaps. “Except for in costume, wearing makeup is not to hide so much as to celebrate what
is already there.”
“Uh okay.” I have no plans on wearing this stuff again anytime soon though I have to admit I do look spectacular like a Maddy 2.0: Model Edition. One night only!, I add dramatically like a scalper hawking tickets.
“Now time for toys,” Nyx claps excitedly.
An expert at hiding weapons in her alluring attire, she’d made quick and simple modifications to the dress Charlie bought me to hide my knives, which we tuck away now. I slide my phone into a small pocket and do a quick bend, twist, and spin test to make sure everything stays in tight. When I’m finally armed to the teeth Nyx deems me ready.
“Wait!” she calls. “Where are your shoes?”
“Uhhhh…” Only now do I realize the box only contained a dress and I certainly don’t own any shoes that could possibly work with this fancy white and gold outfit.
“Men!” she laments.
“Hi Maddy, Nyx,” Frocket greets. “Wow, Maddy, you look amazing!”
“Thanks kid,” I respond though I’m still fixated on my feet clad only in warm woolen socks.
“Um, Yosef asked to see you in his room when you have a moment,” she says shifting her weight from foot to foot nervously. Yosef tends to have that affect on people.
“Go now,” Nyx barks. “I will go find you some shoes.”
Not wanting to piss off Yosef any more than I already had I waste no time lifting my long skirt and hurrying to his private space. His bedroom is on the second floor and always locked. Private. He obviously doesn’t want another scene. My cheeks blush slightly at the memory of whatever mess that was.
Knocking gently I call, “Yosef?”
He opens the door and all six feet of him wrapped in a tailored suit I can tell cost a scary amount of credits fills my vision. I blink a little dumbfounded. The plan doesn’t even include him going inside but trust him to take precautions seriously in both thought and money. “Come in,” he offers. His face and voice are both carefully neutral and I can divine nothing from either.
I step inside, heading towards the window as is my habit, and hear him close the door softly. Watching the sun descend I try to sort my thoughts. I don’t know what to make of whatever happened between us but I think we both need to apologize, me especially for endangering everyone and risking everything even if it was an honest oversight. Turning to do just that, I pause at Yosef’s look.