by Box Set
“Do you remember when we used to sit like this and play chicken?” He had always won and my hands were beet red before we were done, but it just gave him a reason to kiss them, and somehow, that always turned into more.
“You want to play?” He held out his hands. His eyes widened to challenge me, and I could never pass up a challenge.
“You’re on.”
I laid my palms on top of his and before I knew it, he’d slapped the top of mine several times. He always had quick reflexes. I figured it came from all those years of playing guitar.
Time after time, he nailed my hands, slapping the tops until they turned red. Then, he missed one, giving me a shot at causing him a little sting. It was the least I owed him after he’d eviscerated me. With careful planning, I shot my hands out and tried to slap the tops of his, but as usual, I was too slow.
“You still suck at this.” He dragged my hands to his mouth where he kissed the redness. It was like being transported back in time when life was simpler. Caught up in his lips moving across my knuckles, I leaned forward and so did he. And just like old times, his mouth covered mine, and I was eighteen and in love again.
He tasted of chocolate and desire. His tongue danced with mine to a beat I couldn’t hear, but I felt all the way to my core. What had been a single butterfly a moment before turned into a kaleidoscope that churned from my stomach to my heart. Caught up in the moment, I relished the feel of him in my arms, and the taste of him on my lips, but this wasn’t right. This was like make-up sex. It was good in the moment, but the feelings never lasted long. Betrayal was hard to forget. Even the perfect kiss couldn’t erase the deep wounds he’d caused.
I pulled away from him and looked into his lust-clouded eyes. I’d loved that look in the past, but today, I couldn’t fall under his spell. “I can’t do this. I’m not that girl anymore. I’m over you.” The words sounded true, but they felt hollow as they slipped from my lips. I was far from over him.
“You’re kiss says something different, Mandy. That kiss was long overdue.”
“Something is long overdue, but it’s not a kiss, it’s an explanation.”
He looked around the dock and groaned. “You’re right. I owe you.” He ran his hands through his mop of hair. “Do you want to come inside?”
Inside sounded nice, but after that kiss, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to rein myself in a second time. I was weak when it came to Beau. I couldn’t trust myself to not fall into his arms or his bed.
“No, here is fine, and then I have to go. Tommy will be waiting for me.”
“Tommy is out with our mothers, who, by the way, lied to get us here.”
“So, no twisted ankle for your mother?”
“No, did a mysterious accident befall yours, as well?”
“Yes, she fell and sprained her wrist.” But did she really? I’d watched mom whip up pancakes this morning, but couldn’t remember which hand held the spoon. “Oh, my God, her whole story was a farce to get me home.”
“Unbelievable.” Beau shook his head.
“I believe their hearts are in the right place, but where was yours ten years ago?” And there was that elephant again, and he was lifting his trunk too high to ignore.
Beau reached out and grasped my hands. “I told you, it’s always been you.”
“Does that work for all the other girls?” Sarcasm dripped from every word.
“Mandy, there has never been another girl. Not in the way things were with you.”
I’d seen at least twenty photos that would prove his statement wrong. “So, I wasn’t the only one you screwed and forgot? I can’t say it makes me feel any better to be in a large pool of recipients.”
“It wasn’t like that. Let me explain.” He gripped my hands, refusing to let them go.
“Let’s hear it so I can go.”
“The last night we were at this cabin. You were ready to quit school and follow me to California.”
“I would have followed you anywhere.” That was the honest truth. If he’d said, “come with me Mandy,” I would have happily quit school and followed him to California.
“That was the problem. I wanted you to chase your dream, too. I would have taken you with me in a second, but you needed to finish high school.”
“You were right to leave me behind. I just don’t understand the rest.” The pain of the last conversation we’d had rushed forward and caught in my heart. “Six months later, you disappeared from my life.”
“You need to understand that I was thinking of you.”
His grip forced me to stay seated when all I wanted to do was run. “Were you thinking of me when you showed up at the music awards with Inga Knight?” The woman was dressed in lingerie and stilettos, hanging on his arm like a bad handbag.
“No, that was just business. A required promotional opportunity—for her.” He moved his head so wherever I looked, I had to look at him. “I loved you enough to let you go.”
I had enough. With a yank, I freed myself and fled. It only took him three steps to catch up to me and pull me back.
“Damn it, Mandy, You asked for an explanation and you’re going to stay and listen to it.” He pushed me against the timber railing. Behind me, the moon reflected off the icy lake, creating a glow that lit up the forest around us. “I loved you. More than you’d ever imagine, and letting you go felt like ripping out my innards.”
“You ripped out my heart, Beau, and then you stomped on it by writing songs like ‘Wrecked’ and ‘Hopeless.’”
“Those songs were what I was feeling. I wrote them as a way to cope with not having you.”
Cuss words weren’t my thing in general. Not because I was opposed to expletives, but because I’d had to tone down my language when I’d had a child, but this moment called for the granddaddy of foul words.
“You fucking asshole. You had to cope? You broke up with me.” I beat against his chest, but he didn’t budge. He stood there and took every strike.
“I didn’t, I just walked away so you could chase your dream.”
“What in the hell are you talking about? My dream was to be with you.”
He sucked in a breath and pulled my hands to his heart. I could feel the pounding in his chest like it would burst at any second. “You called and told me you’d been accepted into culinary school. Not any school, but the most coveted in Paris, and you were going to give that up to be with me.”
“God, Beau, don’t you get it. I loved you. I would have given anything to be with you.”
“That’s why I had to let you go. You deserved more than a tour bus and a green room.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Tears streamed down my face.
“Because you wouldn’t have listened. You would have jumped on the first bus to California, and I couldn’t do that to you. Besides, life on the road sucked. The guys that had girlfriends rarely did when they returned. Jealousy ate at them until there was nothing left to salvage. I didn’t want that to happen to us. I didn’t want you to regret choosing me. I wanted you to fulfill your dreams and you never would have if you’d stayed with me.”
His words were like a punch to the gut. He’d cut me loose so I could be something other than his girl? “That’s bullshit and you know it.”
He dropped to his knees in front of me. “I swear to you. I wanted what was best for you.” His head sank against my thighs.
“And you were qualified to decide for me?” My voice was savage in its delivery. “You let me go for my own good?”
“I did. I loved you. I still love you.”
“You love me?” I screamed. “Where were you when I came home from Paris? Where have you been the last six year and a half years?”
“You came back and had a son. You’d fallen in love and moved on. I didn’t want to interfere.”
Anger was a powerful force, and with it came unimaginable strength. With a fierce push, I sent Beau flying across the dock. “I’m so mad at you right now. I was never in love. I fucked th
e guy because he reminded me of you, but he wasn’t you.” I stomped over to where Beau sat on the dock. “Or maybe he was exactly like you because the minute things got a bit complicated, he abandoned me, too.”
“I didn’t know.”
“How could you? You’d disappeared, which is what I want from you right now. Get out of my life, Beau Tinsel. I don’t want you, and I don’t need you. You had no right to decide for me.” It took me seconds to bolt from the dock and get to my car. The key slid into the ignition, and when I turned it, a clunk and a thunk were all I heard outside of Beau’s call for me to stop.
Chapter 6
Beau
She pounded on the steering wheel with open palms. Despite her window being closed, I heard several colorful words spill from her mouth. Pissed off didn’t begin to describe how she was feeling. I knew this girl, and even though I hadn’t seen her in years, she was still the same Mandy I fell in love with as a kid.
I yanked on the door handle only to find it locked. Frustrated, I pounded on the window. I’d been so stupid. I’d done what I’d thought was right for her, and in the end, I’d fucked up both of our lives.
“Mandy, open the door.”
“No,” she screamed.
“Come on, baby, unlock the door,” I pleaded with no success. “At least pop the hood so I can look.”
She turned her head, and when I saw her teary eyes, I was heartbroken. I did this to her. I hurt her again.
“Go away, and don’t call me baby.” Her pained voice brought tears to my eyes.
“I’m not leaving you. Open the damn door.” I put both hands on the window and pressed my nose to the cold glass. “Please, Mandy, let me help.” She slumped against the seat and scrubbed her face with her palms.
“Haven’t you done enough?”
“I’ve hurt you. I realize that, but at least let me get you home safe. Tommy will be coming home, and I know you’ll want to be there.” Using her son was unfair, but I had a feeling Mandy would soften when it came to her boy. The one thing I always knew about Mandy was she was an all-in kind of girl. That was part of the reason I forced her away. She would have never gone to Paris if she thought there was a chance to come to California with me. I never wanted her to regret that decision, so I made a different one for her. Little did I know, things would turn out the way they did. I expected her to come home from culinary school and then we could figure it out, but she came home with a son and moved to New York. She’d moved on, or so I thought. I was a fucking idiot.
She unlocked the door and climbed out of the Jeep. “Take me home, please.” She gave me a hard stare. “Where’s your car?” With her hands shoved in her coat pockets, she walked to the back tire and kicked it. “Damn car.” Then, she hopped on one foot and cussed to herself.
“Don’t hurt yourself.”
“Kicking the tire just saved you from the end of my boot.”
“Fair enough.” I stood in front of her and grasped her shoulders. “Kick my ass, punch my face, I deserve it.”
“You do, but all I want to do is go home. Take me home.”
“Car’s in the garage.” I settled my hand on her back and guided her to the back of the cabin.
“You never parked in the garage before.”
“People change.”
She came to a dead stop and turned to look at me. “They sure do.” I didn’t like the way she said that. Sure, I’d changed, but I was still the guy she fell in love with years ago. I’d made a stupid mistake that I had every intention of rectifying. I wasn’t going anywhere until Mandy Sawyer was back in my life, back in my arms, and back in my bed. One look at her in the Sweet Shop and she was already back in my heart. I never stopped loving her.
Once I got her in the car, I took the scenic route home, driving past our old haunts, hoping to soften her resolve to push me away. She was oblivious to our journey while she made arrangements to have her car towed. Once she hung up, she realized we were on Diamond Lane. She sat up and craned her neck to see the old Grady house. At least something made her take notice. I pulled over, turned off the engine, and stepped out of the car.
It took her a few minutes to follow, but I knew she would. She was a sucker for the old house. Sadly, it was dilapidated and falling apart. It had been vacant for years. In disrepair, no one had the money, time, or inclination to fix it. The white siding was now gray, and the wrap-around porch sagged in so many places, it looked like the track of a roller coaster.
“It’s so sad that no one ever bought the place. It would have been perfect for a family.” She ran her fingers over the trim of the broken-down gate.
“It needs to be leveled and rebuilt.”
She gasped. “What’s wrong with you? This house is a piece of history. It needs to be restored.”
“Do you have any idea how much it would cost to restore this place? A brand new house could be built on the land for half the price of restoration.”
“How can you claim to be forward-thinking with my life, and so shortsighted with this house?” She unlatched the gate and walked through the ankle-high snow. “Preserving the past is important.”
She looked beautiful standing in front of the old house. She belonged there. I could see her rocking our baby on the porch swing, but I was getting ahead of myself. How would I get her to love me again if she didn’t trust me or want to talk to me?
“Preserving the past is important. We have a past that needs preservation as well. Would you be willing to put as much time and energy into resurrecting us as you would this old house?”
“It’s not the same and you know it.” She gave one last look at the house and walked back to the car.
I raced ahead to open her door. “No, it’s not the same. Old houses aren’t people.”
“Bingo, and although you can repair a roof, it’s so much more difficult to repair a broken heart. Impossible, maybe.” She slid into the front seat and pulled the door shut, leaving me isolated and alone. Was she telling me the tear in her heart was irreparable? I would disagree, and I intended to prove her wrong.
She sat tall in her seat, looking forward as if we were strangers, and in many ways, we were. However, we had a lot of history, and I couldn’t imagine either of us had changed that much. “Give me a chance to be your friend again.” I knew being her friend would never be enough, but it was a start.
She shifted and looked at me. Even in the dark, her eyes glistened by the moonlight. The green depths said more than she probably wanted to share. “In less than two weeks, I’ll be back in New York and you’ll be,” she spread her palms out in question, “wherever you are.”
“Then, we have limited time to make this work.” When I reached over to pat her hand, she pulled it to her chest as if it would shield her from me. Nope, I would be relentless until Mandy decided I was once again worth her time.
Tommy and our mothers were pulling into the driveway when we arrived. He exited the car with boundless energy. Racing toward us, I expected him to bypass me and fly straight into his mother’s arms, but he didn’t.
“Beau,” he yelled. I lifted him into my arms and swung him around. “Hey sport, how was pizza?” Mandy stood to the side and watched. She smiled from her lips to her eyes at Tommy. When her eyes settled on me, she crimped her mouth tight.
Tommy turned my head with his little gloved hands so that I was looking at him. “I got a water pistol with the tickets I won from the games I played. Then, we went to the crap store and got glitter.”
“Craft, Tommy, it’s called a craft store.” Mandy tried to maintain a stern expression, but I could see the smile twitching at the corner of her mouth.
My eyes locked with hers. “In all fairness, both are right. It depends on your perspective.” I set Tommy on his feet and grabbed hold of his hand. “What are you going to do with the glitter besides make a mess?” In the distance, both moms watched the scene unfold.
“We’re making ornaments with wishes. Do you have any wishes, Beau?” His baby blue
eyes searched my face for an answer. Tommy was young, but he was an old soul. His expressive eyes and his inquisitive approach to life pulled me deeper into his charms.
I made sure to look at Mandy before I answered. “I have a lot of wishes, Tommy.” I hoped she would see the truth in my eyes.
“Grandma Sarah and Grandma Annie said that we could have cookies and milk while we made our,” he pulled me down and whispered, “crap,” into my ear.
Laughter too robust to control burst from my lips. “Is that right? The Grandma’s said that?” I looked toward the car, expecting to see them, but they had already escaped into the house. “I wouldn’t miss cookies and milk for the world. Let’s go.” Hand in hand, we walked toward the door.
Pulling up the rear, Mandy spoke. “Tommy, I’m sure Mr. Tinsel is busy and has things to do.”
“No, Mommy, he just said he has wishes. It would be crinimal to waste his wishes.” And there were those puppy dog eyes again. I watched the play between mother and son, and I fell more in love with both right then.
“It’s criminal, Tommy, the M comes first.” She folded her hand over his and we walked into the house together.
Tommy gave us the slip and bolted to the kitchen, leaving Mandy and me in the entry. “Don’t encourage him. He’s desperate for a man’s attention, but you’re leaving, and so are we. I don’t want to see him hurt.”
“That’s not my intention. He’s a great kid, and I like him a lot.”
I followed her gaze toward the kitchen. “I like him too, and that’s why you need to stay away from him. You’ll only exit his life and wound his little soul. He’s too young for that.”
“Give me a break.” I pressed my hands to her shoulders and backed her up to the wall. “I was nineteen and thought I was making the right choice. I admit I was wrong.”
“Tell that to someone who cares.” Her quivering voice belied her intended I-don’t-give-a-shit attitude.
“I remember a time when these lips were made for kissing.” I pinned her in place with my hips while I ran my thumb over her lush lips. “When did you become such a cynic?”