Abby’s eyes lit up at the sound of zoo. “I want to go to the zoo!”
“We’ll check it out after lunch. Thank you for telling us about it,” I told her, wishing I could ask her to go with us.
“I’ll be back in a minute,” Jenna said, and rushed off to grab plates of food for another table.
When she came back, I quickly gave her our order, almost feeling guilty for making her that much busier. She certainly didn’t seem to mind and gave us extra attention. We were about halfway through our meals when she reappeared at our table with a kid-size milkshake complete with whip cream and a cherry on top.
“What’s this?” I asked, looking at the shake.
“This is for Abby. You are such a good girl,” Jenna said. “You are an example for so many of the other kids that come through here that don’t know how to behave.”
I smiled, feeling a sense of serious pride over the compliment. “Thank you.”
Jenna froze, the milkshake in her hand. “Oh my gosh, I’m sorry. I should have asked first. Is this okay?”
I chuckled. “I fed her donuts for breakfast. I think a milkshake with lunch is okay.”
“Whew, thank God.”
“Thank you for that. What do you say Abby?”
“Thank you, Jenna,” Abby said, grabbing the straw and sucking hard. “Yummy!” she squealed.
Jenna left the check and off she went again. I watched her move around the diner, laughing and smiling with her customers. I could see how she stayed so thin. She was constantly moving. She reminded me of a little hummingbird, flitting around, and spreading joy as she went, even if it was in the form of greasy diner food.
“Can we go to the zoo now?” Abby asked, still sucking on her milkshake.
“Finish your chicken and then we’ll go,” I ordered.
I wanted an excuse to sit in the diner a little while longer. I loved watching her. Each move reminded me of that one night together. I took a deep breath, pulling myself back to the here and now. I couldn’t let myself go down that road or I was going to be sporting a boner. Not cool.
“I think we’re ready,” I mumbled.
“But I didn’t finish my chicken,” Abby protested.
I nodded. “Finish up.”
I pulled out my wallet, left a twenty on the table and waited for Abby to take a few more bites.
“Let’s go.”
“Bye, Jenna,” Abby waved as we headed for the door.
“Have fun!” Jenna called out, waving back at Abby.
I wanted to ask her to come by after work, but could think of no good excuse to get her over to my house. The need to be near her was pissing me off and confusing me at the same time. I was not that kind of a man. I didn’t get moony and sappy. Jenna was making me feel very unlike myself and that was not a good thing. I needed my edge. I couldn’t afford to get all googly-eyed and miss something.
The park was packed and Abby nearly blew a fuse when she saw all the animals. I hung back and let her play with the other kids and even chatted with a few of the other parents as we watched our kids run and play. It felt weird to be normal.
I hoped it wasn’t short-lived. The more I was here, the more I saw myself settling in and making a life for myself and Abby in this small Nebraska town.
14
Jenna
I had made a decision to try and make the most of my home. This limbo I had been in about it had gone on for far too long. For starters, I wanted to make it look nice on the inside and out. That meant a little yardwork was in order. It was a perfect time to start working on my tan for the summer while actually being productive.
With a plan for a gorgeous front yard, I headed for the nursery on the edge of town, splurging on a variety of flowers and pretty bushes that would hopefully make my house look like a home. In the back of my mind, I was thinking about what a buyer would want. My mom had dangled the carrot in front of me and I was really considering her offer. I wanted to go back to school and hated that I hadn’t finished what I’d set out to do. If I got my degree, I wouldn’t be needing this house anymore.
It was time to think about selling. The thought made me a little anxious, but it was an excited anxious. I was ready for something new and needed to make a change. I couldn’t wait on tables for the rest of my life. At least I hoped I didn’t have to do that.
When I got home, I pulled on my shorts and my bikini top, put my earbuds in and got busy. It felt good to have the sun on my back. I was on my knees, carefully planting the pansies I had purchased when I saw feet. Man feet.
I jerked my head up to find Colton standing there, looking down at me. I pulled out my earbuds and pushed up my sunglasses.
“Hi,” I blurted out.
When he removed his own sunglasses, I saw that familiar look in his eyes that was all bubbly hot desire.
“Hi,” he replied, his voice husky.
I stood up, dusting my bare knees off. I felt a little underdressed and very exposed. It wasn’t like he hadn’t seen it before. Maybe that was the problem. He had seen it and judging by the look in his eyes and the vibrating electricity between us, he wanted to see it again. Or maybe it was me projecting onto him. Regardless, the sexual tension was there.
“What’s up?” I asked, feeling like I needed to fill the sexually-charged air.
“I hate to ask this again, but is there any way I can get you to watch Abby for a little bit this afternoon?”
“Of course. I’m off today, so anytime is fine.”
“I got that job at the gym. Landon wants me in there today to meet with a couple of the guys I would be training,” he explained.
I nodded my head. “That’s amazing. Are you going to be working regular hours?”
Shrugging my shoulders, I replied, “I don’t know yet.”
“I don’t mind watching her, but what are you going to do when I’m working?” I asked, hoping I didn’t sound like a bitch. “I mean, I like her and all, but I usually work during the day. I could watch her in the evenings if you wanted.”
He ran a hand over his face. “Thank you, I appreciate that. I don’t know what I’m going to do yet. I wasn’t really planning on working outside the house. I guess I’ll need to start looking for a daycare.”
His statement piqued my interest. I didn’t ask any more questions about it, figuring he would tell me if he wanted me to know what it was he was going to do all day. “I know a couple of women who do daycare in their homes. I can give you their numbers.”
He sighed with obvious relief. “That would be awesome. I guess I’m being overprotective. I am not looking forward to dropping her off with strangers.”
I laughed. “I’m a stranger and these ladies actually know what they’re doing when it comes to kids. I think one of them may have an opening. I can call her for you.”
“You’re not a stranger,” he said in a low voice.
I was instantly reminded of how well we knew each other. Sex was not really getting to know a person’s character. Sure, I knew what he liked in the bedroom and I knew what his lips tasted like and the sound he made when he was in the throes of an orgasm, but that wasn’t really knowing a person.
“I have known these women for a long time. I can vouch for them. Plus, the home daycares are usually a lot cheaper than one of those centers. I bet you I can get you a discount,” I said with a wink. “I’ll tell them you’re a close friend.”
His blue eyes dropped to my lips, then the bikini top I had on before coming back up to look at me. He nodded his head. “That’d be great, thank you. I’m going to pack her backpack and I’ll be back in a bit. Are you sure you don’t mind?”
“I planned on working on my yard most of the day. She can watch one of her shows, or she can help me out here. I really don’t mind. She’s easy and fun,” I assured him.
“Okay, I’ll see you in a bit,” he murmured, his eyes drifting over me one more time.
I tried my best not to let his searing look make me squirm. I tried and faile
d miserably. I wanted to rub my thighs together like a cricket. When he finally looked away and walked back to his house, I let out the breath I had been holding. He had gotten me hot and wet just by looking at me.
At least now I knew he wanted me, and had a feeling I’d made it pretty obvious I was willing to participate in another night of sex, despite telling myself it couldn’t happen again. I was lying. I wanted it and he did too. Why in the hell was he playing so cold? I wasn’t the one popping up at his house, or showing up at his work. I wasn’t a complete idiot—clearly he was interested. Maybe he was scared. Or married! Shit. He could still be married!
I finished planting my flowers. Scolding myself all the while for being too easy. I had to stay away from him until I knew a bit more about him, like whether or not there was a jealous baby mama waiting in the wings. Maybe she was in the military and was currently deployed. Or maybe she was back in Boston working and would be moving out here soon.
My head came up as I looked at the house next door to mine. That was probably the case. He came to town first to secure a home and a job and she would be coming later.
“Asshole,” I muttered.
I did not like being used and was definitely not okay with being the other woman. I had half a mind to slap him when he came back over. How dare he put me in such a horrible position! Now, I would have to see the wife, wave and pretend like nothing ever happened!
“Hi, Jenna!” Abby shouted, as she ran across the grass and into my yard.
I smiled and stood up, shooting a glare at Colton for cheating on his wife. He literally flinched under my disgusted look.
“Is everything okay?” he asked in a quiet voice.
“Fine, just fine,” I snapped at him before turning my attention to Abby. “Did you bring your dolls? Remember we were going to play dress up the next time you came over?”
She nodded her head. “Yep. I packed all my Barbie clothes and even the shoes!”
“Good, why don’t we take them inside and we can play for a little bit. I need a break from out here for now.”
I reached my hand out for Abby’s backpack. Colton refused to hand it over. His eyes boring into mine, questioning me.
“Jenna, if you have plans, I can really do this another time,” he said again. “I don’t want to impose.”
I shook my head. “I don’t have plans. You are not imposing at all. Me and Abby are going to play for a bit and then have some lunch. I’m happy to have the company.”
He nodded his head, as if he was a little worried about my mental health.
“Okay, I’ll hurry back.”
“She’s going to be okay. I like her,” I said, watching his eyebrows shoot up.
“What the hell are you talking about?” he growled.
“Nothing. Shouldn’t you be going?”
He shook his head, not saying another word.
He leaned down, kissed his little girl on the top of her head and gave me one last strange look. I took the backpack and headed inside, needing something cold to drink. The man could get me heated up in an instant. I felt a bit neurotic. I was pissed at him and really had no reason to be. He may not even be married!
I burst into laughter, feeling like a ridiculous, dramatic fool.
“What’s so funny?” Abby asked.
I smiled. “Oh, nothing sweetie. Do you want some water?”
She shook her head, her long brown hair moving as she did. I wondered if the hair came from her mother. She definitely had her daddy’s eyes, but he was more of a dirty blonde than the dark hair she had. I was very tempted to ask her about her mommy, but managed to refrain. I had no idea what can of worms that would open and didn’t want to drag a four-year-old into my neurosis.
If I wanted to know, I would have to ask Colton. Now, the real test would be whether or not he actually told me the truth. Could I trust him? I wanted to, but that little niggle somewhere in the back of my mind was telling me to watch my back with him. That sense of danger I was so drawn to could be the real thing. A walk on the dangerous side with him could very well be the real deal. I liked to think I was a little daring, but deep down, I was terrified of the unknown.
Grabbing a shirt from the back of the dining chair, I threw it on before sitting on the floor to play with Abby for a bit.
“I love your dress, Abby,” I said, looking at yet another pretty summer dress from her wardrobe.
“Thank you. I picked it out all by myself.”
It was the perfect opening to ask about her mother, but I shut it down.
“You have a lot of dresses,” I stated.
She nodded her head. “Because I’m a princess and princesses wear dresses.”
I smiled. “Oh, you’re right. Do you like to wear shorts sometimes when you play outside?”
She shrugged a shoulder. “Sometimes, but I have play dresses when I want to play outside. And,” she said, leaning forward to tell me something important. “Daddy makes me wear shorts every day.”
I leaned back, confused by what she said. “What? Why do you wear shorts every day?”
She giggled and pulled her dress up a bit to reveal a pair of blue shorts. I burst into laughter, realizing what she was saying.
“Good girl!” I said, with a smile.
Colton was a protective daddy. It was cute and endearing, and I could no longer be furious with him for having a wife that I made up in my head. The fact Abby had never mentioned her mother was somewhat of a clue.
Okay. I could admit it—I’d freaked out over nothing. Obviously, I owed Colton an apology. Luckily, I had some ideas about how I could make up for my terrible behavior.
15
Colton
Finishing up my last bit of coffee, I decided I had to go and couldn’t keep putting it off. I had called one of the ladies Jenna referred me to and she invited us to tour her home daycare. I hadn’t told Abby exactly what we were doing, but I knew she would be fine with it. She was an easy-going girl once she got over the initial shyness.
I walked to her room and popped my head in. She was moving her dolls around in her massive dollhouse that was pushed against one wall. I smiled as she had the dolls interact with each other, moving from one floor to the next. I was so thankful she was normal. Normal as in no brain damage. I had nearly killed my little girl that night and would never take another minute of her life for granted. Seeing her playing and healthy was a miracle. I knew it was something I should be forever grateful for, and I was.
Thinking back to the fourteen days she was in a coma, without knowing if she would ever open her eyes again, I felt my heart stop in my chest. Just as it did every time I thought back to the worst couple weeks of my life.
“Hey, baby girl, we’re going to go check out a daycare,” I said.
“A daycare?”
I nodded my head. “Yep, someone who watches you while I’m working. There are other kids there, but not too many.”
She shrugged a shoulder. “Okay.”
I looked at the pretty pink dress she had chosen for the day. It was very her. She was a girly girl, which was odd considering she was being raised by a single dad who knew nothing about dresses or any of that stuff.
I put in the address of the daycare and found myself driving a little out of town to a large farmhouse. The long driveway led to a fenced area filled with toys. I was already liking what I was seeing. There were a couple of horses out in a pasture and a chicken coop off to the left. This could be very good for Abby. I liked the idea of exposing her to the farm life, even if I wasn’t ever planning on living on a farm myself.
“Let’s go meet Miss Nettie.”
Abby’s little head was darting back and forth as she took everything in. I knocked on a bright red door labeled as the daycare entrance and waited.
“Hi!” a pretty, slightly plump woman said, pulling open the door. “You must be Abby. And Mr. Jones, hello.”
“Colton, please,” I said, feeling a little nervous as we walked inside a room painted in
bright reds and blues.
“I’m Miss Nettie,” she said, bending down to talk to Abby eye-to-eye.
Abby was a little shy, wrapping her arm around my leg.
Nettie stood and looked at me. “Why don’t I give you a tour? The other kids are just sitting down for their snack.”
We walked into a kitchen area where another young woman was dishing out crackers and cheese to five children.
“Can Abby have a snack?” Nettie asked.
I looked down at Abby, “Would you like to go over and have a snack with the kids?”
She looked timid, but when Nettie took her hand and gently led her toward the table with benches on either side, she seemed to relax a bit. Each of the other children were introduced. Abby looked a little scared, but I expected as much.
Nettie walked back to me. “She’s a lovely young lady. As you can see, we keep our numbers low. The kids, with your approval of course, are welcome to help out with the farm chores.”
“Farm chores?” I asked, my eyebrow raised. I wasn’t interested in sending my little girl to work.
Nettie’s soft laugh told me my expression had revealed exactly what I had been thinking. “Farm chores include feeding the chickens, collecting eggs, harvesting fruits and veggies from the garden and sometimes, we pet the horses.”
I nodded my head. “I see.”
“I like to keep the kids busy while teaching them life skills.”
I chuckled. “I don’t think we’re going to be setting up a coop in the backyard anytime soon.”
Nettie smiled. “No, but it is nice for the kids to learn a little about where their food comes from. The kids love the chickens.”
“I bet they do. I know Abby would as well.”
She led me around the half of the house that had been remodeled to house her daycare. Nettie had her own son who was seven. She seemed like a nice woman and with Jenna’s recommendation, I felt confident I could trust her to take care of my daughter.
Cold Heart Page 9