Soon as I got home, I went to confront Hassan. I wanted to know if he gave anyone my phone number. He denied doing such a thing and told me to change my number. The harassing calls continued for days. Whoever it was would just sit on the phone, breathing. The calls got so bad; I would have to cut off my phone while I was at work.
I couldn’t take it anymore. One morning after work, I drove to the Sprint shop and got my number changed. I gave my new number only to my mama, Hassan, Amaiya’s school, and my girlfriend.
* * *
Speaking of girlfriend, it’d been a minute since she and I chilled out. She and I were best friends, but because of our hectic lives, we barely had time to chop it up like we used to. I hadn’t seen her in over a year, which was bad.
“Hello.”
“Hey stranger, how you been?”
“I’m good, trying to work and take care of business.”
“I hear you chica, are you still at the hospital?”
“Girl, yes, you know that’s my second home. It ain’t been the same since you left though.”
“I prefer Lady of Mercy Hospital. Westchester Medical was working us too damn hard. I couldn’t take it no more, and that damn head nurse was a bitch.”
“Child, yes, she is on day shift now. We have a new head nurse and she don’t be trippin’ like that. We also have a couple of new ladies on the floor.”
“Anyways, enough about the job. What’s going on with you, how my god baby doing?”
“Girl, she’s fine. Growing up fast. She keeps asking for her auntie. She wants to come to your house.”
“You know what? I’m off this weekend. I’ma come get her, so we can spend some time together.”
“She’ll love it and I’ll get a break. God knows I love that child, but she’s a handful.”
“Yeah, that’s why I decided I don’t want no children. I’ve got Sasha, she’s enough.”
Sasha was the dog, but if you didn’t know better, you would think Sasha was a baby from the way she talked about her.
“So how is married life treating you? Miss ‘I-will-never-get-married. ’”
I wanted to lie to my girl and tell her everything was great, but I paused.
“Des, what’s wrong? You and Hassan cool, right?”
“Girl, I don’t know what’s going on. I ain’t got no proof, but my gut is telling me he’s cheating. The other day I followed him and he went in some bitch’s house and lied to me that he was at work.”
“His ass better not be playing considering how much you do for his ass. That’s what is wrong with these dudes—they don’t ever do right by a good woman, but are quick to wife these old, raggedy-ass hoes.”
“Girl, I ain’t goin’ front. I’m fucked up about it because I busted my ass to help this nigga when his own fuck ass family wouldn’t help him. I’m just hurting for real.”
“I feel you, but you know what though, if that nigga is cheating on you, he deserve to get his head bust wide open.”
“I’m not goin’ say shit, because I’m too pissed off. One thing I know is that I’m done being anybody’s fool.”
“Girl, these niggas ain’t loyal. You can only use them for dick and money. All that ‘I love you’ shit is fake.”
My phone started to beep; it was Mama.
“All right chick, that’s Mama. I’ll call you Friday,” I said, before I clicked over.
“Hey Mama, how you doing?”
“Not too good. My head is bothering me again.”
“Did you take something for it?”
“No, not as yet. I called to see if you found a place for the reception?”
I took a long pause before I responded. “Mama there won’t be any reception,” I squeezed out.
“What you mean? I told you I’d pay for it.”
“Mama, stop! We won’t be renewing our vows. I need to be looking for a divorce attorney instead.”
“Are you serious? What done happened now? A few days ago you were excited about renewing your vows and now this. . . .”
“Mama, I don’t want to talk about it. Just know that it ain’t happening.”
“Okay baby, you know Mama love you and if you need to come here, you know you and Amaiya will always have a home.”
“Thank you, Mama, and I love you too, but it’s my damn house and if anybody leaving, it’s not goin’ be me.”
“All right honey. I’m not goin’ hold you up much longer. Kiss my grandbaby for me and tell her nana loves her.”
“All right Mama, get some rest and call me if you need me.”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Imani Gibson
What was supposed to be a few months turned into years; every time I asked Hassan about him leaving that bitch, he kept on telling me he just needed a little more time. My baby had grown up and here his mama was, still playing house with his daddy.
I was getting restless and felt Hassan had had enough time. I was ready to let the bitch know what had been going on. Hassan was my man and the father of my son. I wanted her to know he didn’t love her and the reason he was with her was because she had some money. I recalled when I first met her. I examined her from head to toe and saw nothing special about her ass. She was just a regular ass ho with money; she didn’t seem like anything Hassan would’ve fucked with. She was no competition for me. I hate to brag, but I had a badass shape, small waist, and round fat ass. Every nigga was looking to wife a chick like me and here my dumb ass was, chasing a nigga that couldn’t get his shit together.
* * *
“We getting off early today,” Hassan said as he walked over to my desk.
“Why, what’s going on?” I asked.
“You said you wanted a new ride. How about we go car shopping?”
“Are you serious?”
“Either you want it or you don’t.”
“Hell yeah I want it,” I confirmed.
By 3:30 p.m., Hassan and I left out in his car. I felt good; it’s about time he stepped up and started spending some real paper on me. After all, I kept his dick satisfied.
My eyes popped open as he pulled into a Lexus car dealer’s parking lot. This has to be a joke, I thought to myself. There’s no way he was about to cop me a fucking Lexus.
“Stay right here,” he said and walked off to talk to a car salesman.
I glanced around; there were so many nice cars, I knew it was going to be hard for me to decide. Minutes later, Hassan returned. “Let’s walk around so you can pick which car you want.”
“Are you fucking serious?” I didn’t wait for an answer. I jumped on him and gave him a big wet one.
“Yo, chill! We are out in public.” He pushed me off.
Any other time I would have reacted, but not this time; I was too goddamn happy that I could finally get rid of that hoopty that I had. Yes Lord, these bitches couldn’t say shit to me now. We walked through the long rows of cars, and I felt so confused until a red 2012 Lexus RX 350 caught my attention. I stopped and peeped inside. I noticed the brand new leather and the spacious foot room. I instantly fell in love.
“This one! I need to test drive this one,” I yelled out with excitement.
“You hear the lady,” Hassan said to the car salesman.
Hassan handled the paperwork while I took my new ride on the road. I felt like new money. I never thought sucking and riding dick could get me the finer things in life. I hit the highway and back. I loved that I wasn’t sitting low anymore and the car was fast. Everything was worked out and five hours later, I drove off in a brand new Lexus crossover.
* * *
Hassan said he had a meeting and had to go. I was cool because I planned to drop by his mom’s house. When I pulled up, his sister and one of her friends was sitting outside the building. I parked and jumped out.
“Hey y’all.”
“Bitch, I was wondering who this was. Whose ride you borrowed?”
“No honey. I’m the owner of this nice machine.” I bragged and dangled the keys.
“Bitch, whatever! Just the other day your ass was broke and now you come around here talking about you own this whip. Quit stunting,” Charmaine said.
“Well, hmm. . . I’ma never be broke as long as I got pussy and this here is a generous gift, courtesy of your brother.” I wish I could have taken a picture of her face. I don’t know if it was jealousy or if she was shocked.
“Damn bitch. In that case, I must say you a bad bitch. You must be doing something right for my brother to go all out like that.”
“Maybe he’s just growing up and he’s realizing that I’m his woman and I deserve nothing but the best.”
“Yeah, whatever.” We all busted out laughing.
To a stranger, it might seem like we were arguing, but nah, that’s how we often got down.
They got in and we went to Bay Plaza to chill a little and I dropped them off afterwards. It was getting late and Josiah was home, maybe wondering where I was. I couldn’t wait to see his face when he saw Mommy’s new car.
Destiny Clarke
After all these years, I thought Hassan would finally get his act together. I held off on the divorce, because the truth was I hated to fail and getting a divorce was the ultimate failure. Some days were better than others. Whenever he was in his sweet mood, he would shower me with gifts and tell me a million times, how much he loved me. Other days he was just as mean as a drunk was, but he was worse, because he wasn’t even drinking.
* * *
It was 11:17 p.m. I knew because I’d been checking the time back to back. Hassan didn’t come home after work and when I called his phone, it kept going to voicemail. I left him several messages, but still didn’t hear from him. I couldn’t sleep, because I knew he was up to no-good again. I was hurting so bad I started to cry. I was mentally tired and physically drained. I got up, went downstairs, and started to pour a glass of his vodka. I needed something strong to help me ease the pain. I didn’t bother to get a glass; I put the bottle to my head. The strong liquor left a burning sensation in my chest, but it didn’t stop me from taking another swig from the bottle. “Damn you, Hassan,” I screamed.
I threw the bottle into the wall. The broken pieces shattered all over the wall, then onto the floor. I got up off the stool and staggered into my living room. I laid across the sofa, indulging in my misery. My thoughts were no longer clear and I felt the walls around me spinning. I held my head and screamed, “Oh my God, help me.” Those were the last words I said before I passed out.
* * *
“Mommy, Mommy, wake up,” I heard Amaiya yell.
The sound from her squeaky voice triggered a terrible headache. I opened my eyes to see my princess pouting.
“Mommy, I’m late.”
“What time is it?” I managed to sit up.
“It’s after eight and I was supposed to be at school an hour ago. I tried calling Daddy and he didn’t pick up.”
“I’m sorry, baby. Let me wash my face and I’ll be ready.”
This little girl acts like she’s the mother and I’m the child, I thought. I washed my face, made a cup of coffee, and headed out the door. I was in no shape to drive, but I had no choice but to drop her off. I also noticed his ass didn’t make it home. Tears started to gather in my eyes, but I quickly caught myself. I didn’t want my child to see me crying.
“Okay honey, have a good day. I love you too.”
“Love you too, Mommy. Don’t forget I’ve got basketball practice this evening.”
“I won’t forget you. I’ll be there.” I assured her.
I watched as she walked up the stairs and disappeared into the school. My little girl has grown up, I thought as I pulled off.
I dialed Hassan’s phone and it was still turned off. This was serious. In all the years that we’d been together, he had never spent an entire night away from home. I’m not counting the time that I put him out. It’s damn well into the next day and he hadn’t called or shown up.
I made a U-turn and headed to my Mom’s house. I was feeling distraught, my head was pounding, and I was hungry, but food was the last thing on my mind.
I dialed Mama’s number.
“Hello dear.”
“Open the door. I’m pullin’ up in a minute.”
I parked my car into the driveway, grabbed my pocketbook, and got out of the car. Mama was standing in the doorway with her hands akimbo. I walked in and she followed behind.
“I was making breakfast and coffee. Did you eat?”
“No, I’m not hungry, but I will take a cup of coffee.”
I sat on the stool in the kitchen, watching her as she scrambled eggs. I sure missed those days when she used to make me breakfast, especially when it used to be her and me. Those days were long gone and now I had my own little princess to cook for.
“Here you go honey.” She placed a cup of coffee in front of me.
“Thanks Mama.”
“I’m worried about you. You look like you ain’t been to sleep. Is everything alright?”
“Mama, it’s Hassan. He didn’t come home last night.”
She took a seat beside me and put her hand on mine.
“Oh baby, I’m sorry. Did you call him?” she questioned.
“Yes, the last time I talked to him was yesterday around eleven a.m. I thought he’d be home around five p.m. He didn’t come then, so I started calling him and his phone kept going to voicemail. . . . ” my voice trailed off.
“Oh Lord. You think something happened to him?”
“Mama, trust me—if something did happen to him, I’d be the first person they’d call.”
“Destiny, I don’t want to intrude, but do you think Hassan has been seeing another woman?”
“Mama I ain’t got no proof, but I feel in my heart that’s what it is. Where could a married man be all night and all morning?” I shook my head in disgust.
She squeezed my hand and spoke, “I know you love him, but if you stay with him, it’s not going to change. You need to dig deep into your soul, find your strength, and get out of it. You hear me? You’re too good of a woman to keep putting up with this bullshit.”
“I know, but I put so much into this relationship, both emotionally and financially. I helped build that firm from the ground up. How do I walk away from all that? And for another woman to reap the benefits of my sweat. I built that Mama!” I yelled in frustration.
I saw a tear fall from her eyes. She took her glasses off and placed them on the counter.
“You know, the day I got you from that group home, I looked at you and I made a promise to myself that I was going to take care of you by any means necessary. If anybody hurt you, I was going to kill them. When I found out that bastard was raping you right under my nose, I wanted to hurt him bad, but it was too late then because the police already had him. I might not have pushed you out of me, but you’re my child. I don’t like to see you hurting and I can’t do anything about it. Here you’re hurting again behind another no-good ass boy. He don’t deserve the title of ‘man.’ I want to hurt him bad, but that wouldn’t do any good. You need to talk to a divorce lawyer soon, but before you do, you need a private investigator. A good damn one that could dig up all the dirt that bastard been hiding.”
I sat there, crying and listening to Mama. She made it seem so easy, but this was my life and I had no idea how to pick up the pieces of my shattered soul.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Imani Gibson
I was sick and tired of being the other woman. I’m not sure which part of that Hassan didn’t get. I had to admit that our relationship had gotten better after I started working at the firm. As far as us fooling around in his office, things had changed. Hassan wanted to keep it professional because his business partner was on to us; he mentioned it wouldn’t be a good look for a married man to be having an extramarital affair. I played it cool because my eyes were set on the top spot.
Even though I didn’t say much, I was getting tired of all his promises of leaving her. Loneliness was ki
cking in, especially at night when I was in bed by myself. Some nights, I couldn’t sleep. I would lay in bed restless, wondering if she was sucking and fucking him as well as I did. A few times, I got in my car and drove over to their house. I would sit outside listening to slow jams and crying my heart out.
* * *
The music was blasting through my Bose surround system as I cleaned my apartment from head to toe. I also had neck bones, greens, and rice on the stove. I was making my man his favorite meal. “Ha ha,” I chuckled to myself. I remember him saying that bitch didn’t know how to cook. Her ass knew she was wrong; you had to know how to fuck him good, suck him good, and feed him good.
Josiah had gone to his grandma’s for the night, so it was just the two of us. I took a shower and put on my little red Victoria Secret’s two-piece and a pair of heels. I planned on having him for the entire night. Fuck him going home to that bitch.
He called and said he was on the way. I lit the candles and placed two glasses of wine on the table. I then made his plate. When I opened the door for him, I saw his eyes pop open. He stood there staring, mouth wide open.
“Hello, come on in,” I joked.
“Damn B, you fucking with a nigga hard as hell, right now.”
“Chill out, babe. Wash your hands and come eat your dinner. I made your favorite.” I pulled on his tie and pulled him toward me, placing a big wet one on his lips.
He grabbed my ass, but I wiggled away.
“Come on, the food gonna be cold.” I smiled.
We sat down at the table, eating, laughing, and talking like old times when it was only the two of us. I looked as he stared at me.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Just thinking.”
“Thinking about what?”
“Me, you, and our future.” He took a sip of his wine.
“Really?” I side-eyed him.
“Yeah, I mean you been riding with me for a minute now and I know I ain’t been the best, but you stuck around and still make me happy. I ’ont say it a lot, but I appreciate you and I want to take our relationship to the next level.”
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