Instantly, a picture of me shooting Hassan popped into my head. It wasn’t a great image, but it gave me life.
“Umm, what about this one?” I pointed to a green gun.”
“Yes sure, that’s the Nighthawk Lady Hawk. It’s a pretty decent firearm for ladies.”
He took it out, and handed it to me. “Hold it.”
I took, and rubbed my hand all over it.
“How can I get this?”
“Have you ever owned a gun?”
“No.”
“Well, you will need to fill out the gun permit form for the state of New York. It usually takes six to eight months to get processed.”
“What, you mean, I’ll have to wait all that time? This is pure bullshit.”
“Yes, I’m sorry. That’s the law.” He smiled at him.
I handed the gun back to him, “Thank you. Have a nice day.”
I turned and walked out of the shop. I was disappointed to know I couldn’t get the gun. “Six to eight months, shit Hassan might’ve killed my ass by then,” I mumbled under my breath.
I got into my car and cut it on. I noticed it was 11:25 a.m. Imani hasn’t called yet, I thought. I hope that old trifling-ass whore didn’t change her mind. Soon as the thought left my mind, my phone started ringing.
“Hello, where you want to meet?”
“Let’s meet at the Red Lobster in the Cross County shopping center. It’s on Xavier Dr. You might want to google it.”
“I know where it’s at. I’m on the way.”
I tried to muster every bit of energy inside of me in order to deal with this whore. I couldn’t stand to be around her, but I knew there was no other way. I put my shades on and pulled off.
CHAPTER THIRTY
Hassan Clarke
Ever since Imani and I fell out, I‘d been hanging with Tanya more. She was cool in the beginning, but the more time I spent with her, the clingier she became. It got worse after she invited me home to meet her parents. I probably shouldn’t have done that, but the way she was fucking and sucking me, how could I refuse? It was the weekend and I had decided to get a room at the Ramada Inn on Baychester Avenue. After eating her pussy for a good thirty minutes, I finally put the dick on her, real good. After I came, I lay back on the bed, trying to catch my breath. That young pussy drained a nigga. I found myself having to drink a few bottles of Monster right before we fucked. I couldn’t let her feel like she was giving me a run for my money.
“I need to talk to you.” She rolled over to be closer beside me.
“What’s up? Talk to me.” I put one arm around her.
“Umm. . .” She paused.
“What’s up babe?” I turned her face toward me.
“I’m pregnant.”
“You w-what?” I stuttered.
I looked at her hoping to get a quick “I’m joking,” but instead she had tears rolling down her face.
That made it hard for me. I didn’t know how to respond. I wanted to scream at her dumb ass—now wasn’t the time for her to be talking ’bout no damn baby. Shit, if Destiny got wind of this, my ass was going to be roasted in court.
“I’m scared. My period was late and I went to my doctor and he confirmed it.”
“I thought you were on birth control. How did you manage to get pregnant?” I yelled.
“You’re acting like you’re not happy. You love me and I love you and now we can finally be together.”
I sat there, staring. This young bitch was dumber than I originally thought. I don’t fucking love you, I thought.
“Listen, B. I do love you, but I’m about to get a divorce. You’re a law student, so you know how that is. The last thing I need is for Destiny’s lawyers to find out that I got a child on the way. That can’t happen. You hear me,” I yelled.
“What are you saying? I don’t understand. Are you saying you don’t want our child?” she cried.
Oh man, another emotional bitch, I thought.
“Nah, babe, that’s not what I’m saying at all. What I’m saying is, if you have an abortion, after the divorce, I can get you pregnant again and we can be a family then.” I smiled and touched her face.
“Hassan, I’m far from one of these dumb females out here. I am not killing my child. So you need to decide who you are going to be with, just know that, whatever you decide, it better include my child in it.”
“Bitch, you threatening me?” I shoved her away from me.
I thought about killing that bitch and her fucking seed, but I knew that wouldn’t be a good move. The bitch was white and I know her people wouldn’t cease until they find her ass.
“Yo, get your shit and get out of my room. You can call me when you get some sense.”
She didn’t say a word. She got up, smiled at me, and walked into the bathroom.
“What the fuck,” I yelled out. Man, e’erytime I turned around, one of these hoes was having an issue. Fuck, this dick got me in more trouble than any other motherfucking thing. Shit, it was a blessing and a curse at the same damn time.
I watched as that bitch gathered her things and walked out, slamming the door behind her. I shook my head in disgust. I got up and poured me a cup of Hennessy Black. I needed something strong to drown out this latest news. I grabbed the remote and cut on the TV.
“Breaking news: The police are confirming that thirty-eight-year-old Corey Blackman was shot outside of his apartment building. According to the police, a lone gunman walked up to the victim and fired multiple gunshots. He then walked off and disappeared into thin air. According to the police, the victim is in critical condition at Lady of Mercy Hospital,” the TV reporter said.
I took a big gulp, hurried to the table, and poured another cup. I grabbed my cell phone to call this nigga, but quickly decided against it. I am a defense attorney, and I knew about that cell phone record.
“Fucking idiot. He was supposed to make sure that nigga was dead.” I shook my head.
I couldn’t sit still. I kept pacing back and forth. God, I hoped this fool didn’t leave any evidence. There was no way I was going to prison for some fucked ass shit this fuck nigga did.
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
Destiny Clarke
As I sat across from that whore, I couldn’t help but notice that she was nothing special. I stared at her, trying to see something that my husband might’ve seen in her. There was nothing. She was a broke, loud-mouthed bitch. I was pretty sure she could fuck and suck cock real well. Other than that, I really didn’t see what else she had to offer.
After talking with Imani and letting her know what I wanted, she decided to videotape herself and Hassan having sex. I still was kind of leery of her because I knew she was still in love with him and she wanted him in her life. The only thing I was counting on was her love for money and I knew her greedy ass wasn’t going to give up a chance to get fifty grand.
* * *
We parted ways as I headed to my lawyer’s office. I wanted to give him an update on what’d been going on and to let him know I was ready to file the divorce papers.
“Hello Mrs. Clarke. Attorney Wallock is waiting for you.”
“Good afternoon. Thank you.”
I walked off and knocked, then pushed open the door to the plush office. There must be plenty divorces going around, ’cause he is eating good, I thought.
“Mrs. Clarke, how are you doing today?” he stood up and shook my hand.
“Actually, today is a good day for me.”
“Please sit down.”
We sat down discussing everything that the forensic accountant found out about Hassan’s finances. That dirty bastard was hiding money in different places, even in the Cayman Islands. I just sat there, listening to all the dirt they dug up on him.
“I say we have a pretty good case against him. I can get you alimony and half of everything he acquired during the marriage.”
Shit, that was pretty much everything. The nigga was broke when I met him, I thought.
“One more thi
ng: I need to file for full custody of my daughter.”
“All right. Custody cases are different and will be handled in juvenile and family courts.”
“All right, let’s do the divorce first. I want this bastard out of my life,” I spoke with conviction.
I sat there and watched him as he wrote down information.
“Okay, I have everything here. Based on all the information that you gave me and all the evidence against your husband, we can file for a fault-based divorce for any of these reasons: Cruel and Inhuman Treatment, and under New York State law, you are qualified because of the way he treats you. If you went through any kind of verbal and physical abuse, we can include that in our case. We will need evidence to support this claim and I will also include adultery as a reason for the divorce. This can be easily proven by the pictures that were taken, him buying his mistress that Lexus, and whatever other evidence we have when we walk into court. He is a lawyer, so he knows the law. We want to be prepared.”
“Got you. I’m more than ready to get the ball rolling. Well, I’ll be in touch soon.” I got up, shook his hand and walked out.
I was pretty confident that we had a great case against him. The bastard had no idea what he was up against. He fucked with the wrong woman.
* * *
I had to pick Amaiya up from school and I got there just in time. I watched as my baby stood by the sidewalk talking to a boy. I honked the horn to let her know I was there.
I watched as she gave the boy a hug and walked to the car.
“Hey Ma,” she said, leaning over to give me a kiss.
“Hey babe. So who was that boy?”
“A friend, Ma.”
“A friend? Do you hug all your friends like that?” I looked at her and smiled.
“Ma, chill out. Jamal is only a friend.”
“Ok, can I ask you a question?”
“Oh God, here we go. No, Ma, I’m not having sex and no, I don’t have a boyfriend.”
“Ok, just checking.”
“I know, Ma. You want me to finish high school and go to college. You want me to get married before sex, all that.”
“No, I understand you’re growing up into a beautiful young woman. I just feel like you shouldn’t rush to be in a relationship. Take your time and the right boy will come along.”
“Ma, does this have anything to do with the fact, that you and daddy are getting a divorce? “
“Not really, just don’t want you to make the same mistakes that I did. That’s all.” I reached over and rubbed her hand.
I wished I could protect her for the rest of her life, but I knew I couldn’t. I just prayed she would never have to experience any of the shit that I’d been through, ’cause God knews these niggas weren’t worth a damn.
* * *
I cooked Salisbury steak and mashed potatoes for dinner for Amaiya and myself. I had to get used to it just being the two of us again. I never thought that my marriage would’ve come to this, but it did. Tears welled up in my eyes as I sat there reminiscing on the great times we had. I remembered our first date; the first time he touched me. It was magic. I had no understanding of how we went from sugar to shit.
After my baby girl got in bed, I cleaned up the kitchen, cut the lights off, and walked upstairs. I felt a slight headache coming on, so I took two Tylenol and got into the shower. I soaked in the tub for a good twenty-five minutes then got out. I stood in front of the mirror to dry myself off. I glanced at myself and ran my hand across my breast. Oh, how I missed a man touching me. I longed for the closeness of a man, but I’d be damned if I was just going to be out there fucking. Now that this bum done gave me herpes, I had no idea what kind of sex life I was going to have. I quickly got dressed and got into my bed. The thought of having an STD that couldn’t be cured was very depressing.
Tears started to flow again. I tried my entire life not to fuck every nigga that came my way. Shit, I could count on my fingers all the niggas that ran up in me, all because I didn’t want to be a whore or end up with a fucking disease. What good did it do me? None, ’cause this pussy-ass nigga done burned my ass for good.
I must’ve fallen asleep because I felt someone shaking me. I opened my eyes. I thought it was Amaiya, but hell no, it was this bum, laying butt-ass naked beside me.
“What the hell you think you doing?”
“I’m trying to make love to my wife. Is that a problem?”
“Don’t fucking touch me,” I yelled and slapped his fucking hand away.
I jumped up, and tried to run out of the room, but he jumped in front of me and blocked me in.
“Move out of my fucking way, Hassan. I swear to God if you touch me. . . ” I stepped toward him.
“W-h-a-t you goin’ do?” he slurred his words.
His breath was stinking with alcohol and he could barely stand still. I figured this fool was drunk.
I tried to push him out of my way, but even in his drunken state, I was no match for him.
He raised his hand and slapped me in my face. I tried to slap him back, but he grabbed my arm and threw me on the bed and got on top of me. I wanted to scream, but my baby was in the other room and I didn’t want her to hear any of this nonsense.
“Hassan, stop get up off me,” I screamed.
“Nah bitch, shut up. This pussy is mine and I want to fuck.” He pried my legs open.
Emotions stirred up in me. I had a flashback to when my Daddy used to fuck me. Tears started to roll down my face. My body tensed up and I whispered a prayer to God.
“God, please help me. I can’t go through this again.”
“What the fuck you say bitch?”
I realized then he wasn’t going to stop and this bastard was really going to rape me. I swallowed hard, wiped my tears, and then spoke.
“Hey babe, you ain’t got to do all that. I’ve missed you fucking me,” I lied through clenched teeth.
That caught his attention ’cause he looked at me and smiled.
“Really? You miss me babe?” He grinned.
“Of course. I miss sucking your cock. Matter of fact, let me show you how much I miss you.” I smiled at him.
He eased up off me and lay on his back. I got on my knees and took his erected cock into my hands and licked the tip. I glanced at him as he was smiling. I took the full length in and he groaned hard. I looked at him and he was smiling with his eyes closed.
I used every bit of strength in me and sunk my teeth down on his cock while holding it in place.
“Aarghhhhhhhhhhhhh! You stupid bitch, I’m going to kill you,” he said as he grabbed my neck.
I couldn’t breathe as I tried to bite harder, but that made him squeeze harder. I had no choice but to let go and gasp for air. I then bit down on his hand again so he could let go of my neck, which he did.
I jumped up and ran out the room as fast as I could and into Amaiya’s room while he yelled and called me all kind of bitches.
“Bitch, where the fuck you at? I swear I’m goin’ kill yo ass.” He yelled down the hallway.
I locked Amaiya’s bedroom door.
“What’s wrong, Mama? Why is daddy yelling?” She jumped out of her sleep.
“Baby, just lie back down.” I tried to comfort her.
I couldn’t believe this fool tried me like that. I wish I could’ve bitten his cock off clean; that way, he wouldn’t be able to fuck another bitch in his life. I was scared to go out the door, so I sat in the corner in my daughter’s room. I was hurt and feeling broken—this nigga done stirred up old emotions inside of me; emotions that I had buried deep down inside of myself.
Imani Gibson
I was helping her and he was going to whoop my ass. There was no way I was going to risk getting another beat down because of this bitch. Destiny bought me a camcorder. It was little, but I could tell it was an expensive piece of equipment. I wanted to laugh because that bitch had no problem spending all that money just so she could get a recording of Hassan and I having sex when he came ove
r. I had to put it in a spot where it wouldn’t be visible, and I’d keep it off until it was show time. Things were not going good for me at all. I used the money that Destiny gave me to pay some bills; I was behind on everything because Hassan used to pay the bills, but he had not given me a dollar since he found out that Corey was Josiah’s daddy. That was fucked up on Hassan’s behalf because he left me and my son for dead, even though he claimed he loved me. There was no way I was going back to being broke and Hassan was going to wish he had continued throwing me a few stacks.
* * *
Josiah wouldn’t ease up on his questioning about who his dad was. Apparently Charmaine’s trifling ass called him to tell him that she was not his auntie. That bitch knew she was wrong for doing that. They couldn’t hurt me, so they hurt the person closest to me, my son.
“Ma, we need to talk seriously. I asked you before and you blew me off. If Dad ain’t my Daddy, then who is?” he asked in a serious tone.
“Baby, I told you before, Hassan is your daddy. They just starting some bullshit and because they can’t get to me, they trying to use you,” I lied.
I swear I couldn’t bring myself to tell my son the truth.
“Ma, I know you lying to me. It’s sad. You teach me to not lie, but here I am asking you a very important question and you keep lying to my face.” He gritted on me.
What did this little boy want me to tell him? That his mama was a whore and wasn’t sure who his daddy was? How could I admit that shit to him?
“Baby. . .” I took a deep breath then continued.
“Listen, Josiah: I love you and that’s all that really matters. Baby, you ’ont need no daddy.” I tried to hug him.
“But I do, Ma. I want one. I need to know who my Daddy is. I ’ont want to be one of these niggas out here that don’t know their father.”
I took his hand in mine. Tears welled up in my eyes. I looked into my son’s eyes then spoke:“Hassan is right. He’s not your daddy.” I regretted those words as soon as they parted my lips.
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