by Snow, Jenika
He reached out to smooth a finger down the side of my neck, stopping right at my pulse point, adding a little pressure. “This is the only way I know how to be,” he murmured to himself. “It’s the only way I’ll ever be.”
And that was fine. I was fine with that.
My heart thundered a mile a minute when he cupped both sides of my face and leaned in to kiss me hard and possessively. I felt the hardness of his huge cock press between my thighs, and a fresh gush of arousal left my pussy. “Cullen, please. Be with me.” I wasn’t even embarrassed that I was begging, pleading with him to take my virginity.
And to take his.
God, that turned me on knowing he hadn’t ever been with a woman.
He tilted my head even more, delved his tongue between my lips, and groaned. We both did. “I’m yours. Right now. Always,” he murmured against my mouth. And when he licked my bottom lip and then gently bit the flesh with his teeth, I nearly orgasmed right then.
His huge body covered mine in all its masculine glory. For long moments, all Cullen did was kiss me—fucking my mouth with his lips and tongue, making me needy and desperate. He started thrusting his cock against my pussy, the thickness sliding between my folds, the base of his shaft hitting my clit and making me cling to him to stabilize the world around me.
“Goddamn, baby,” he grunted against my mouth, and his tone and words sent spikes of electricity through me.
Having his mouth on mine, his big, muscled, and tattooed body covering every inch of me, and feeling his dick rubbing up and down my slit had me nearly going over the edge over and over again.
Cullen plunged his tongue in and out of my mouth, kissed me like he was starving for my flavor, like he wanted to devour me. He picked up his speed as he thrust against my body, between my thighs. And with each bump of his cockhead against my clit, I soared a little higher.
When he broke the kiss, he was panting, beads of sweat covering his brow. He moved his mouth to the hollow of my throat and I tilted it to the side to give him better access, to let him lick and suck, gently bite at me.
And that was when I came for him.
I couldn’t stop myself. I didn’t even try.
At first, I felt this tightening in my body, this tingle moving up my spine and outward to my fingertips before exploding inside me in this grand finale of fireworks and pleasure.
I couldn’t help but arch my back, my breasts thrust out and brushing against Cullen’s chest, the pleasure consuming me. I saw stars dance behind my closed lids, felt my body go numb from how intense the pleasure was.
I opened my eyes when the pleasure dimmed and saw Cullen breathing hard, his chest rising and falling, blocking out everything behind him from how broad his shoulders were. I felt caged in but only in the best of ways.
“God, Kimber,” he groaned my name and rested his forehead against mine, closing his eyes. “Seeing you come for me, knowing it’s because of me you feel that way… is my undoing.”
I smoothed my hands over his bulging muscles, and he kissed me instantly, but before we could really get into it again, he was pulling away.
“Be with me, Cullen.” I said again, feeling like I’d asked, begged a hundred times.
“You sure about that?” he asked and ran his hand over his jaw. God, that turned me on too.
I nodded. “I’m more than sure,” I whispered.
He closed his eyes for a second, the muscles in his body standing in stark relief, a testament to how tense he was. I knew he wouldn’t give me anything less than what I wanted. I didn’t know how I was so certain of that, but I felt it in my bones, in my very soul.
The heat that came from his body could have scorched my skin clean off. It was a heady and intoxicating sensation.
He gripped his massive dick and started stroking himself from root to tip. “You want this, baby?” His voice was rough, his eyes still half-lidded. The pleasure reflected back at me was tangible.
“I do,” I whispered, surprised I could even speak.
He made this low sound of need again, and then he was smoothing his hand over my breasts, down my belly, and touching my sensitive, soaked pussy.
And then he settled between my thighs and pressed his hips forward, so I felt the hard length of him nudge between my legs once more. His cock felt so hot, and I wanted that thick heat deep inside my body.
“I’m going to make this good for you. I’m going to make you mine.”
Yes.
“Once my cock is in you, I won’t stop. I can’t.”
God. Yes.
He moved his hand between our bodies, and his knuckles brushed along my sensitive pussy. He positioned the thick, bulbous head of his erection at the entrance of my body but didn’t thrust in right away. Instead, he held very still, looking in my eyes. I heard my pulse pounding in my ears.
“Ask me for it.” That didn’t even sound like him for how deep his voice was.
“Give it to me.” I’d never been so forward. But then again, I’d never wanted anything like this before.
With his cockhead nudging at the entrance of my pussy, his hands on the mattress by my head, and time seeming to stand still, I knew there was no going back from this.
Good.
In one move, he pushed his length into me. It was slow, but that didn’t matter, because the stretch and burn, the discomfort was instant and stole my breath. The pain of being stretched by his size had my eyes watering. He stilled when he was fully in me, neither of us breathing as we stared at each other. His balls were pressed right up against my slick flesh, and I bit my lip hard enough I tasted blood.
He closed his eyes, and I saw a muscle tic at his jaw. “Christ.” The sounds that left him right after that were carnal and feral.
They speared into my body and created this delicious vibration that went straight to my clit.
“I’ve never felt anything so… fucking perfect before.” He opened his eyes and with slow, measured strokes moved in and out of me.
A sharp inhale filled my lungs with oxygen, and these delicious sensations moved through me.
He pushed in and pulled out of me in this slow, agonizingly pleasurable pace. But as the seconds moved by, I felt his control slip in the way he held me… fucked me.
And as the seconds moved to minutes, Cullen started thrusting into me harder and pulling out faster. Soon, beads of sweat covered both of our flesh, and my throat was dry from the amount of air I sucked in, trying to breathe, trying not to pass out from how good it all was.
“Yes,” he hissed out. “That’s it. Fuck, that is so it.”
The faster and harder he pumped into me, the higher my pleasure climbed until it was on the precipice of claiming me and pushing me over the edge. Cullen slipped a hand between my legs, leaned back slightly, and started rubbing my clit gently. He teased that little bundle of nerves back and forth, and I couldn’t hold off the inevitable.
I came.
Before I knew what was happening, Cullen had both of my wrists now in one of his huge hands, lifted them above my head, and held them there, stretching me out like I was an offering.
He pulled almost all the way out but then slowly penetrated me inch by thick inch. When the root of his cock bumped my clit, sparks of electricity slammed into me and I cried out. He might be a virgin too, but he sure as hell knew how to play my body like a master.
And I saw his control fully leave then, this mask of ecstasy covered his face as he started fucking me. The expression on his face was fierce and filled with pleasure.
“Oh. God.” I squeezed my eyes shut. Was this possible? Was I going to get off again?
God. Yes.
“Yeah, that’s it.” He grunted as I involuntarily clenched my pussy around his thick cock. He let go of my wrists, and I immediately clenched the sheets beside me. Cullen had his hand on my inner thighs, keeping my legs open as he moved in and out of me.
He slid his hands close to where he was thrusting in deep and framed my pussy, and in a mov
e I hadn’t been expecting, he pushed my legs up and to my chest so he could go in deeper.
And that had my pleasure going even higher.
He was staring at his dick in my pussy, his mouth parted, his breathing ragged. He slammed his cock inside me so hard I let go of the sheets and gripped his biceps. Over and over he did this, hitting something deep inside so that it felt like fireworks were going off in me.
“Kimber,” he groaned like he couldn’t get enough.
Cullen was languid in his ministrations now, as if he wanted to make this last all night long. He kept me right on the precipice of climaxing once more.
He moved his teeth and tongue up and down the length of my throat then finally took root at the hollow of my neck, licking and nipping and driving me insane with lust at how he made me feel.
“I can feel you clench around my dick,” he grunted against my dampened flesh. “I can feel the tremors of pleasure wracking your body because of how I make you feel.”
“Yes,” I hissed in ecstasy.
“Give it to me again, baby. Let me feel that again before I come and fill you up.” He pulled back and looked in my face now, and I held my breath as I felt another smaller orgasm rise up in me. It was as if his words alone had the effect to push me over the edge.
And then it peaked. It crashed through me like waves against the shore. Cullen grunted in approval.
“That’s it. Give it all to me and I’ll give you everything I am.” He slammed into me again and again, rotating his hips until sensations spiraled through me.
Cullen slammed his mouth on mine, and the combined flavors of him eating me out, our previous kissing, and all the male flavors that made him up coexisted in that one touch, in his lips on mine, his tongue pressed against mine.
At the same time we made out, made love with our mouths and tongues, Cullen was moving faster and harder in me.
Then he thrust into me once, twice, and on the third pump, he stilled, his dick buried all the way in me. I swore I felt him swell even further inside of my body, getting bigger, thicker, longer.
“Fuck,” he grunted against my mouth. “I’m coming.” His huge body seemed to shake, and the sound of his pleasure had mine rising even stronger. “God. Yes.”
I swore I felt the hot jets of his cum fill me, thick and potent, consuming and… all for me. I’d never been possessive of anything in my life, but with Cullen, I found I didn’t want anyone else to experience this but me.
It was only seconds later that he seemed to collapse on top of me, his body spent, his orgasm obviously waning as he breathed harshly. I couldn’t breathe, but if this was the way I died, what a way to go.
And then he rolled off me, pulling me to him immediately, my back to his chest, his arm around my waist.
I started to relax almost instantly and felt Cullen run his fingers up and down my arm. Closing my eyes, I just absorbed this time, lived in this moment.
For several seconds, we did nothing but lie there. Cullen wrapped his big, muscular body around mine, almost sheltering me, protecting me, even from himself. And when our breathing eventually mimicked a relaxed rhythm, I felt like I was… home.
Chapter Fifteen
Kimber
It was hours after we’d given each other our virginities, and although I could have stayed like this all night, I was so conflicted by what I wanted, needed, and desired from Cullen.
I guess I felt like things would be weird, awkward, this forced perception of reality where I couldn’t actually be with Cullen, that he couldn’t be mine and I couldn’t be his.
But there was nothing like that. Not as Cullen held me, as my back was to his chest, as the pads of his fingers skated along the bare flesh of my arm. All I felt was comfort, this feeling that I was exactly where I was supposed to be… that I was next to who I was supposed to be with.
“What are you thinking about?” His voice was deep, calm.
I might not have known him for very long, but in the short span of time we’d been in each other’s lives, all I’d heard was a gruff, serrated tone come from him. But now I could tell he was relaxed—maybe for the first time in his life?
“I’m just thinking about how crazy this all is.” Cullen continued to tickle my arm, his touch so gentle, almost as if it was a contradiction to the larger-than-life man he actually was. “And about how great this all feels.” I had been scared to say those words out loud, but if I didn’t feel like he was right here with me, in this moment, experiencing the same things I did, I wouldn’t have dared actually voicing them.
He didn’t tense, didn’t even move. He continued to stroke my arm, but he didn’t respond. I might have thought I’d overstepped my bounds, crossed a line, assumed something was there when it really wasn’t. But then he slid his hand over my hip and placed it flat on my belly, pulling me in closer to him.
“You’re thinking that?” he asked in his deep voice that made me close my eyes and sigh in contentment. I swore I heard pleasure laced in his words.
I didn’t verbally answer, just nodded, looking over my shoulder at him. His face was only an inch from mine, the dark scruff that covered his cheeks and chin making him seem so masculine.
He slid his hand back up and over my arm to cup the side of my face, his palm calloused, manly. God, what I wouldn’t give to have him touch every single part of me again.
“What are you thinking about?” I asked softly, almost afraid to hear what he had to say, if he’d say he felt the same thing or tell me this was just a one-off. God, I hoped I hadn’t read him wrong, hadn’t felt things come from him that weren’t actually there.
He didn’t answer for long moments, just searched my face with his gaze, this almost pained expression covering him. And then he leaned in and kissed me softly, and my breath caught as he stole that kiss. And as I gave it to him time and time again, I dreamed of so much more.
“So fucking crazy,” he said against my mouth, those words murmured. He kissed me over and over again, nothing sexual, just deep, loving kisses, his mouth against mine with all the emotion he felt. With all the emotion I felt.
And I took all of them, absorbed them, wanted more. So much more.
He broke the kiss and pulled back just an inch, staring deep into my eyes, making me get lost in his dark gaze.
“And for as fucking insane as this is, for how bad I am for you, for how you’re too good for me, Kimber, one thing for certain is that I can’t let you go.” He stroked his thumb along my cheekbone, and goose bumps popped out along my flesh. “Damn this all to hell, but I can’t fucking let you go, Kimber.”
He kissed me again, and I turned my body fully so our chests were pressed together, so my arm was wrapped around his wide shoulders. I held onto him like a lifeline, touching him, pulling him impossibly closer.
“You’re so fucking beautiful, so sweet and caring. You’re too good for me.” There was a shadow of emotion in his voice, hardened and pained, and I wondered if this was the first time he’d ever said those words out loud.
“We both deserve to be happy, Cullen. Can’t you see that?” I lifted my hand and cupped his scruff-covered cheek. “I’m not too good for you. We’re perfect for each other.” I wanted to tell him everything, my past, my childhood, why I was the way I was.
No time like the present, right?
“I come from an abusive family, my father using me as a punching bag in his drunken fits of rage.” My throat tightened as I said those words, never telling anyone but a therapist, never fully trusting anyone until this moment. “And I used that pain, hurt, and anger my father instilled in me, and I turned it around. I used it to heal people, to care for the less fortunate. I wanted to make people feel better, to let them know it wasn’t the end, that they had a fighting chance.” I swallowed roughly, licked my lips, and I continued to stare into Cullen’s eyes. “I became a nurse, worked my ass off through school, and here I am now. And as much as I hate my father, as happy as I am he’s dead and gone, rotting in the earth,
if it wasn’t for him and all the bullshit he gave me, I wouldn’t be the person I am if not for it all. So, I guess I have him to thank for that, that small sliver of appreciation.”
I saw the way Cullen’s throat worked as he swallowed, how his expression was tight. Before I knew what was happening, he pulled me on top of him, my thighs on either side of his hips. I looked down at him, seeing all this emotion he had.
For me.
“We’re one and the same but so different.” He had his hands on my hips, holding me gently. Although I was naked on top of him, he wasn’t aroused. That’s not what this moment was about. I knew that. I appreciated it. “We had the same childhood, Kimber.”
I watched him swallow again, wondered if he’d ever told anyone about this, uttered those words out loud.
“When you turned your tragedy into something positive, I went in the opposite direction. I grew angry and hateful, used it to fuel my life. Nothing else mattered except keeping my brothers safe, taking that pain and hatred my father gave so they wouldn’t have to.”
I felt tears well up in my eyes as he spoke about his past. It made so much sense why he was so angry, not just at the world but in life in general. Cullen had brothers. Cullen had a family. He’d absorbed their abuse as well, took it himself so they were spared.
I placed my hand on his chest and leaned forward, kissing him softly. “You’re a good man, Cullen. Even if you don’t see it, even if you don’t feel it. You are a good man.”
He wrapped his arms around me and just held me. I rested my head on his chest, listening to his heart beating, that steady rhythm lulling me right to sleep.
Peace. That’s what I felt. And it was the first time I’d ever felt it.
* * *
Several days later