by T. Styles
It’s time.
I reached inside the glove compartment and pulled out the gun that belonged to Charles. There wasn’t much light coming through, with the exception of the light from the moon, so I held it up to closely examine it. I couldn’t believe that I was getting ready to kill a man again, and within less than a month’s time frame. But then again, Delonte wasn’t a man he was a punk.
I jumped out the car, pulled my hoodie over my head and approached Delonte’s truck on the passenger side. Just like we planned, moms was sitting in the drivers seat and Delonte was in the passenger’s. He jumped the moment I tapped on the window. He was frightened. He knew what time it was the moment he saw me. Everything he did to me, everything he said to me and everything he thought about me was between us. I saw it all.
He turned his head to my mother and then back at me trying to figure out what was going on. I saw him reach for his glove compartment and with all the power in me; I shattered the passenger side window and put the gun to his head.
“Don’t move mothafucka! Let’s make this easy!”
Just like the bitch he was, he slid over to protect himself from getting anything on him.
“Get the fuck in the back!”
He didn’t move.
“I SAID GET THE FUCK IN THE BACK SEAT, B FO I BLOW YOUR MOTHAFUCKING HEAD OFF!”
Now he moved carefully and slowly. Once he was out of the truck, I pushed him along with the nose of the gun and slammed the passenger car door closed. He opened the back door and I slid in the back seat with him, closing the door behind me.
“You okay, Ma? Any of that glass get on you?”
“I’m good, baby,” she said as she winked at me while brushing a few of the remnants of glass off her clothes.
“What the fuck is going on, Janet?” He asked as he looked in her direction.
She continued to brush the glass off her clothes as I busied myself with the gun in my hands.
“Janet, what in the FUCK is going on?”
Silence.
“Do you have any idea who you fucking with? Do you know who I AM? I’m Delonte mothafucking Knight!!!”
Silence.
“Do you realize what the fuck you are doing, bitch?” He continued.
Silence.
I heard enough. He called my mother out her name and that’s were I drew the line. With the butt of the gun, I knocked him upside his head and he fell against the left window. His blood made the gun slide a little in my hand but it wouldn’t be the first time I felt another man’s blood.
“Don’t make me shoot you, Delonte, because I will. “Now you gonna shut the fuck up and listen to what we have to say. If you don’t, you dead.” My words were slow, deliberate and clear so he wouldn’t miss a thing.
He looked at me like he’d seen a ghost and then back at my mother.
“Janet,” he said as he stole one last look at me. “What’s going on? Why you doing this?”
Silence.
She was having a good time playing on his emotions. I learned from her that silence could do more damage to a man’s emotional state of mind than words could ever do.
She reached into the new black Prada purse I saw her bring in yesterday, pulled out a pack of Kool menthol cigarettes and lit one. After she took her fifth puff, she turned around to face Delonte and blew the smoke in his face. I couldn’t believe she was smoking. She never smoked so I figured she was getting into character.
“What am I doing?” She laughed. “What am I doing? Let’s see. What I’m doing is giving you a chance to tell me where you keep your shit.” She looked at him the same way I’d seen her do when she asked for money to go shopping.
“Are you kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me?” Spit flew out of his mouth as he yelled.
“No, Jarvis,” she said as she puffed her cigarette again and blew it in his face. “I’m not kidding.”
I wondered who in the fuck Jarvis was. She called him that a lot lately when she talked to me about him. I’ve been meaning to ask her about it.
“But, baby,” he said responding to the name as if it didn’t belong to him. He probably was so scared she could have called him Lil Kim and he would have answered to it. “I do everything for you. Why you doing this to me?”
I kept the gun pointed firmly at him. I was ready for her at anytime to say, “Blast this mothafucka!” I was like a trained dog ready and willing to annihilate him. My hand shook and I was itching to pull the trigger just thinking about all the games he played. I started feeding myself bullshit just for kicks. He probably fucked Keisha when you were dealing with that nigga Charles. That’s probably why she be smiling in his face. I wouldn’t be surprised if she sucked his dick.
Calm down Kelsi.
You’ll have your chance in a minute, I told myself.
“Delonte, I’m gonna ask you one time and one time only. If you don’t tell me what I need to know,” she said as she puffed the cigarette again and then put it out in his leather seat, “I’m gonna instruct Kelsi to pull the trigger. You wouldn’t want him to pull the trigger now would you?”
I heard my mother’s words but slightly. Delonte had my full attention. Any wrong move and it would be over before he realized and maybe even over before it was time. I had mentally programmed myself to be ready the moment she said my name. I didn’t care about all my mother’s plans even though she didn’t waste any time-sharing them with me either. Although it would be a shame if she said KELSI, let him live, because at this point, I would’ve just heard my name and fired.
The only thing I wanted was to get rid of this snitch and dump the body. I was sure killing him extended outside of him blackmailing me, and what he had done to my moms. She had some other plans that I’m sure we’d discuss later. The image of him fucking her brains out was still fresh in my mind, which made me clench the gun even tighter.
“Baby, please,” he cried as tears fell down his face. “Baby, please don’t do this to me, I love you. I thought you loved me and wanted to work on our relationship.”
She laughed and shook her head. “Delonte, if you say that bullshit again I’m gonna use this blade in my purse to slice your throat. Do you understand me? Now, are you going to tell me or not?”
She was cold and her mannerisms were similar to the female gangsters I’d seen on TV. I was trying to determine if she was acting because it all came too easy. She cared less about his crocodile tears than I did. I wondered what was going on in his mind. I wondered if he realized that everything was over for him. I wondered if he knew he’d cashed in his last ticket in life and it was a loser.
“Do you understand me mothafucka!” She asked again.
He nodded his head yes.
“Before I tell you, can I ask why you doing this, baby? Please.”
She laughed and dug in her purse to re-apply her lip-gloss to freshen up using the rearview mirror.
“Do you realize I got my hair cut short for you?”
“What?” He intoned in a low voice.
“I said, do you realize that I cut my hair short for you?” She repeated.
“No I didn’t, but I like it.”
“Well the day I wore it short, you didn’t even notice. I think you said something like, you look different but I don’t know what it is. I can’t really remember what you said actually and you know why I can’t remember?”
“Because I wasn’t paying enough attention to you and you forgot?” He answered taking a shot in the dark.
“No! I can’t remember because I realize I really didn’t give a fuck. I didn’t give a fuck about YOU or this weak ass relationship. I thought I did but I didn’t. The only thing I gave a fuck about was Kelsi and the dollars, baby.”
“Why are you doing this?” He cried, uncertain of his future.
I laughed inside, loving the mental game she was playing with him. Here it was, his life dangled in the wind and she was putting on MAC and asking him miscellaneous bullshit ass questions.
“Well…let’
s see. Why am I doing this?” She repeated as she smiled at herself in the mirror before turning around to smile at me. “I’m doing this because you tried to blackmail my son.” I wondered if he would mention the details of the blackmail because I still hadn’t told her I sold drugs. As far as she was concerned murder was my first crime and it was done in self-defense. She stuffed the makeup in her purse and turned around to look at him. “I’m doing this because you’ve cheated on me ever since we’ve been together. I’m doing this because I’m tired of living check to check. Hold up, I don’t have a check anymore, remember, I quit my jobs. I’m doing this because you’ve wasted my time, and I’m doing this because it’s time for me to get paid.”
“But –”
“J, when you gonna quit your job? I need you,” she interrupted, mimicking him. “Yeah, you need me alright, but right now, I need to get paid and you the mothafucking jackpot.” She nodded her head as if she were satisfied with the answer she had given him.
“Now,” she said as she placed her hand on his face as if she were concerned. “Where do you keep your money and the weight?”
Before she let him answer, she placed her index finger over his lips as if to hush him. “Let me remind you, if you give me any other answer besides the one I want to hear, you’re dead. Do you understand me?”
Again, he nodded his head yes.
Delonte wiped his face with his hands and rubbed them on his jeans. Here in the back of his truck, he resembled a scared little girl, more than he did a grown ass man. I could tell he was contemplating whether or not to tell her anything. His thought process lasted all of 10 seconds when he realized his life was on the line.
“Okay, okay baby,” he stuttered. “Ummm, I keep most of the weight at my moms. Kenosha knows where it is because she helps me separate it. If you don’t believe me you can call her right now.” He continued while looking at me and then back at my moms like he was trying to convince us both. “But Janet you need to know some things too.”
“The only thing I need to know is where you keep the mothafucking money! That’s it!”
“It’s about Skully.”
“Like I said, the only thing I want to hear is about the money and weight!”
“Okay…Umm, okay, ummmm, I keep some money there too and the rest is in here under the front seat.”
Keeping her eyes on Delonte, moms ran her hand under the seat and pulled out two stacks of money and kissed them both. She tucked one in her purse and the other in her shirt because both wouldn’t fit inside the bag.
“There you go baby,” she crooned as if it were all over. “Was that so hard? You acted like it was so difficult. You did it! It’s all over now.”
She smiled trying to convince him it was all over and you know what that punk did; he smiled back as if the worst was over. I realized even more that Delonte ain’t have no business in the game because his heart was weak. Did he actually think we would rob him, let him live and look behind our backs for the rest of our lives? He was grimey, untrustworthy and a snake. So even if he said he’d leave us alone, his word couldn’t be trusted.
He had to go.
Bottom line.
End of story.
“Now you wouldn’t happen to be lying to me about the stash now would you?” She asked, narrowing her eyes.
“Baby, no!! I swear I’m not!” He cried as he shook his head no. “You can trust me.”
My mother looked at me when he said that. She always told me that when a man says you can trust him, you can’t. If he can be trusted, you’ll know it and the words would never have to be spoken.
“Where them shirts at? The ones with the blood on ‘em?” I asked remembering he still had them.
“They’re at my mother’s house too. I swear!” He was breathing hard and sweating profusely. Kelsi, I’m so sorry for blackmailing you, man. For real. This shit will never happen again. You’ll see, Kelsi!”
I held the gun firmly toward him, nodded my head a little to the right and gave him less than a half of a smile.
“Yeah, I know. I know man.”
I wasn’t lying. I did know. None of this shit would ever happen again.
My mother grabbed Delonte’s piece in the glove compartment, got out of the car, looked down the dark road and opened Delonte’s door. A few cars had driven by but none of them noticed us. The crickets were loud as hell and every bug in the entire park seemed to be right outside the door…eavesdropping. I’m a city nigga for real, so the sounds had me vexed.
She nodded at me, which meant get ready. She moved toward Delonte, kissed him and said, “Damn I’m gonna miss you.”
His eyes grew three times bigger and he pushed her to the side and tried to run. A nigga running for his life is the hardest nigga to catch. The only nigga that can catch him is another nigga running for his life. See I was the one he had the drop on. There was no way on earth I was letting this snitching ass, snake get away from me.
When she looked at me I heard the words I’d been waiting on.
“KELSI! NOWWW!”
I was already out of the truck and then I did it. He was running fast as a mothafucka. I had to give him credit for that but every nigga know you can’t run faster than the bullets in a gun.
COCK…CLICK …BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
He fell down and I walked up on him. I wanted to be sure. I needed to be sure.
I shot him again, point blank as his body lie motionless on the ground. I stuffed the gun in my pocket and pulled his body toward the woods. I was hyped and moved quickly! All I needed was a car coming down the road and seeing me hauling his ass.
In the darkness, I made my way through the woods with my mother shining a flashlight behind me. She was also holding the shovel I packed earlier. When I figured we’d gone far enough, I started digging a hole big enough to bury his body. Spider webs, snakes, and all other kinds of shit were surrounding us. Burying his body out here would make him right at home. I was trying to move quickly because this nature shit made me a little uncomfortable. But a nervous nigga made too many mistakes and I wasn’t trying to make any of those.
Hot, sweaty and amped, I emptied his pockets and threw him in the hole that would now be his new home. I looked back at my mother once, but she didn’t look like herself. She was smiling more and appeared to enjoy what we were doing.
“He can’t bother you now, baby,” she said looking up at me. “He can’t take my baby away from me now.”
I was happy she was at ease instead of nervous or frightened. Good. I rather her be okay with it than be fucked up about it later. There in the semi darkness, she took pride in every pile of dirt I threw on his face. We were covering our skeletons together. Delonte’s death would be a secret we would take to our grave, and my mother is the only person in the world, I knew I could trust with it.
When it was over, we walked back to the truck after making sure the coast was clear. Before I got back into the rental car, we sat in Delonte’s truck in silence. After five minutes, we looked at each other and smiled. She told me not to worry and that she had everything else under control. Apparently she was taking his truck somewhere where it would be no more. Where did she have these connections? I wanted to protect my mother but here she was protecting me.
She placed her hand on my leg and said, “Baby, life as you know it has changed for us. Sometimes you got to take what the fuck you want. Be careful of greed. See, Delonte was greedy and he had this coming. But remember, no matter what happens with everybody else, you will always be my soldier and once again tonight, you proved it. It’s time to start living like we used to. Are you ready to claim what’s rightfully ours?”
“Yes,” I answered not knowing what I was agreeing to.
“Good. Because you were too young to remember but trust me, you had everything and I don’t want you to ever have to want for anything again. I’ll take care of everything, Kelsi. You a hustler’s son!” she said as tears streamed down her face.
I smiled at her and sai
d, “As long as I have you, I will never want for nothing.”
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
SEPTEMBER 28th
WEDNESDAY, 4:30PM
KELSI
It had been three days since we killed Delonte. Kenosha and his mother were taking it bad. They didn’t find the body, but they knew something was up. I felt some kind of way about it, but it was only because I wasn’t trying to hurt them. Don’t get me wrong, I ain’t have no remorse for what I did, but I hated to see people’s mothers cry.
Delonte’s mother cried every time she came over. Her crying reminded me of what we’d done and I’d make up an excuse to leave. I kept thinking about my mother and how she would feel if something happened to me. I hated to see my mother in pain but my regret for killing Delonte ended at his mother’s pain. In my heart, he deserved exactly what the fuck he got.
Mrs. Knight’s house smelled liked something was cooking all the time, even though it wasn’t. I had only been in the house for ten minutes and already I was hungry. Kenosha made me some fried bologna sandwiches but I was kinda hoping that Mrs. Knight would get in the kitchen and make it happen. With Delonte missing, I could forget about that shit. I was there because Kenosha called the house about fifty times looking for Delonte. When I finally answered she was out in front of my house to swoop me up.
To make her feel better, as if that were possible, I offered to take a ride with her. The next thing I knew, we ended up over at her house on Clay. It worked out just right because when Delonte told us where he kept his money and his weight, I had planned on getting into the house by any means necessary. I suggested we stop by Mrs. Knight’s house, which was a few doors down, to say hello and we’ve been here ever since.
“Where Mrs. Knight go?” I asked as I drank the lemon lime Kool-Aid she poured for me.
“She’s going to church to pray for Delonte,” she said as she broke down in tears and sat next to me on the couch. Kelsi what I’m gonna do? I ain’t got nobody that look out for me like Delonte. I ain’t got shit Kelsi.”