Koen rolled his eyes and looked at Boy. “What House did you–”
Marina lifted her hand to place it to Koen’s lips, and at the last moment, she stopped.
The hall went quiet.
She’d almost touched him.
She retracted her hand, her face pale. She ignored the stares and said, “Don’t ask that question. His past is irrelevant.” In a quieter voice, she added. “He’s ours now.”
“Oh look, it’s the prodigal daughter and her ward,” Katya glided up to them and Boy stiffened. The woman spared him a glance before she dismissed him outright. She smiled sweetly at Koen then at Marina, but it did not reach her eyes.
Boy was rigid, and Marina whispered a suggestion he go find Mikhail. He gave her a thankful look and walked away, shooting Katya a hate-filled glare over his boney shoulder.
Regent Myron replaced him, bending Koen’s ear about the issues he was having getting the Wvyrae to sign a treaty to abolish the use of slaves.
Koen kept his eyes on Marina, sensing something wasn’t right. Instead of scowling at Katya, or tipping her chin up in defiance, she shrank back, curving into herself. Her color was off, and her eyes glassy. He didn’t want to ask how she was feeling with Katya and the Regent present, so he searched out Daniil.
When the other man caught his gaze, he called him over with a slight jerk of the head and looked at Marina. He excused himself from the conversation he was having with lord Tyr and started to weave through the gentry, only pausing to bow in respect to members of the upper echelons of the assembled gentry.
Marina visibly paled, swayed on the spot, and Koen’s hand twitched.
There was a hand at her elbow, and she turned to see Daniil peering at her in concern. “Are you alright?”
Marina didn’t answer at first, she genuinely looked like she was going to faint. Daniil plucked a goblet of wine from a passing attendant and pressed it into her hand, urging her to drink. She did so with an unsteady hand and smiled contritely.
“I’m sorry. I must have pushed it a bit too hard today. I’m just sleepy. I think. I’ll be fine once I sit down and eat.”
Even the Regent looked concerned. “Maybe you should take a turn about the gardens for air,” he suggested. “With a … chaperone,’ he added after studying the protective way Daniil hovered over her.
Koen noticed it too, and used all the control at his command not to bellow accusations.
“Yeah, where’s Boy, I’d like to– Oh!” The wine in the goblet splashed over the rim onto the front of her blue silk dress and she flushed. “Fuck. I’m so clumsy.”
Katya raised an eyebrow at the coarse language.
Marina avoided Koen’s eye, and muttered something to Daniil. He nodded and excused them, carefully pulling her away.
“So impolite,” Katya murmured.
The Regent gave her a short look of dislike then excused himself.
Koen looked down at Katya, the woman who wanted to wear the Frost Wreath, and just managed to hide the flicker of disgust that had broken through his calmly presented façade of indifference to smile thinly when she smiled widely at him.
He would play her game, for now. He had made a promise to himself to keep his dragon under control to reduce the court gossip about him and Marina. Daniil had informed him the rumors were causing an emotional toll on her, and that was unacceptable. It was difficult, but for Marina he could manage most things.
His brother had also informed him nearly all the attempts on Marina’s life could be traced back to House Ja.
The woman was a menace, and he sought to harm that most precious to him. Having her assassinated would do no good, especially when they could not directly trace the assassins sent to harm Marina back to Katya. Should the Regent discover who ordered her death he wanted to be able to present a compelling argument that would avoid any formal investigation being raised.
He would have to simply be creative in removing her.
Looking away from Katya’s cold beauty, Koen gazed in the direction Marina walked in.
Chapter 22
To be blunt, Marina felt like shit.
A delighted peal of laughter drifted over the din and was followed by a throaty chuckle. Stunned, the whole room turned to see Katya and Koen leaning toward each other, smiling at each other conspiratorially.
Her heart squeezed so painfully, she thought she might black out, or vomit. Neither scenario was good. Mumbling an excuse in Daniil’s direction, Marina fled the room as the heads were turning to see her reaction.
Daniil grabbed her elbow when she stumbled clumsily. “I will escort you.”
“Stay,” she whispered and patted his chest reassuringly. “I’ll be fine.”
“No. We shall get some air and then we shall return.” His face hardened when she opened her mouth to protest. “Do not test me on this.”
Marina allowed him to walk her to the door, being carful not to trip over her skirts when they left, keeping her expression serene. Outside, she broke free of his hold, and clutched her middle. She pressed her eyes closed, and focused on easing the constriction in her chest.
“Just breathe,” Daniil said, and she felt his cool fingers on her temples. “Breathe slowly. Calm yourself.”
His hand slid down until his fingers ghosted over her racing pulse. He stroked her neck, and made a noise when fat tears rolled down her cheeks.
“I can’t do this anymore, Daniil. I’m a wreck.”
“Ah. You feel this because there has been tension. All couples–”
“All couples my ass. It shouldn’t be this hard. I keep telling myself it’s difficult because he’s so perfect for me and only great things are worth fighting for, but why then do I look around and see all the other Chosen looking so happy? Everyone but me is happy.”
“I’m not happy,” Daniil said quietly. “I dislike to see you in pain. I dislike watching you make yourself sick over this. I hate watching you doubt yourself. I hate that sad look that comes into your eyes when he walks by and doesn’t acknowledge you’re there.”
“You’re the same,” she said. “With Anastasia. I see the same thing and it breaks my heart.” She scrubbed a hand over her face tiredly. Why did she feel so weak and discombobulated? “Do you know when I first came here I felt sorry for you. I saw how you looked at her, and I thought how lucky I was to have Koen’s affection.”
Daniil gripped her shoulders, and ducked his head to peer into her face. “I know it’s hard. Harder than anything you’ve faced, but I promise you it is worth it. We will both be happy in the end. I feel it.”
Marina stared into his blue eyes, clear like crystals. His beautiful eyes that so often focused on her and only her. Odd thoughts crowded into her head, making her near dizzy. “I’ll be happy … with Koen?”
He blinked. “Yes.”
“And you with Anastasia?”
“Who else?”
She bit her lip. “We don’t encourage it or talk about it, but … it’s there.”
He let go of her shoulders. “This conversation just became dangerous.”
Words spewed from a hidden place in her heart and tripped from Marina’s lips. “I would fight for you,” she whispered. “I would fight to be your mate. I signed my name on your list, remember.”
Groaning, Daniil rested his head on hers. “Do you have any idea how often I’ve dreamed of you saying those words?” He pulled her close and wrapped his arms tightly around her. “I have dreamed of you. I have dreamed of….”
Marina felt feverish. Her lips were a hairsbreadth away from Daniil’s. “Dreamed of what?”
He lowered his golden head, and his blue eyes darkened as they fixed on her lips. “I dream of you.” His head descended a fraction more. “I’ve tried to fight it, goddess knows I’ve tried, but I think I’m falling….”
Daniil’s lips brushed hers. Sparks zapped between them. They hovered there, both hesitant to move forward, but neither wanting to step back.
There was a breathy si
gh, and a throaty voice murmured, “Koen.”
The spell binding them was broken. Marina jerked back. She and Daniil stared at each other.
At first, she thought it was her mind playing cruel tricks on her, but she heard a giggle and another sigh. Marina looked towards the side of the fortress it came from. It was too dark to pierce the shadows and the curve of the building kept her from seeing much else.
There was a tug in her chest.
She took a step.
Daniil caught her arm, his eyes fixed on the darkness. “If I begged you … if I told you I loved you, would you stay here, with me?”
The look in his eyes was sincere and her heart leapt. Here was a man ready to declare himself to her. Who had protected her with his life. Here was a man she could laugh with, have fun with, and yet who she knew would share a grand passion with. Even now, as he held her arm it was electric. Not as powerful as when Koen touched her, but potent all the same. Marina allowed herself to be gently towed under the spell again, and moved closer to him, her eyelashes shuttering closed. Swaying forward, she tilted her head to accept his kiss.
“Koen… ” Another giggle.
Pain ripped over the enchantment, and Marina wrenched away from Daniil. She spun and strode towards the sound.
Her heart pounded with every step.
It couldn’t be true.
No.
Whatever was happening could not be what her mind envisioned. She was the traitor. She was the fiend who felt for another, and was in the arms of another, ready to give away her heart.
Marina turned the corner. She did not stop when Daniil called out to her. The horrible gushing noise, the incessant pounding in her ears got louder until two silhouettes came into her line of sight, and she stopped cold.
The buzzing stopped.
Her heart rate slowed.
Everything she believed in shattered.
The world canted out of balance, and Marina stiffened her spine, letting the reality of what was happening wash over her.
Koen stood with his arms wrapped around Katya, his lips pressed to hers, her arms looped around his neck.
A warm presence appeared at her back. Strong arms wrapped around her waist, tugging gently.
“Marina,” Daniil breathed in a broken voice as he pulled her into his chest.
She dropped her chin to her chest. The genuine sadness he had for her threatened to make her cry. Marina wanted to be cold. She wanted to be a steel blade that could slice and maim. She didn’t want to dissolve into useless tears and shame herself.
There was a soft curse.
Marina lifted her head to see Katya clasping a hand over her mouth. She and Koen parted, and standing between them was Regent Myron, his expression furious.
“You,” he said in a wintry voice that brooked no argument, “are disqualified from the honor of being named First Chosen for breaking the sacred oath not to touch the phoenix before he was yours to claim as mate.”
Katya’s face was ashen, her eyes wide. “Regent,” she breathed, her hand pressed to her breast. “No! Please, it was an accident. He–”
“You will return to your room,” Myron said over her. “You will take your belongings, and you will leave the ateliers. You are no longer First Chosen. You are welcome to take part in Aver for a dragon of lower rank, for a throne, but never will you be Empress.”
Tears swam in her eyes and ran down her cheeks. “Regent, please. My family will–”
“Leave!” he bellowed. “Leave my presence.”
Katya sent a shattered look at Koen, a hate-filled look at Marina, then picked up her skirts and fled.
“Lord Koen,” the Regent said in a tight voice. “Lord Daniil. I trust you will see Marina to her room? Untouched?” The censure in his gray gaze rested on Daniil then.
“Of course,” Daniil replied in a low voice, bowing his head in supplication.
The Regent walked up to Marina and peered into her face. He seemed to look pass the cold exterior she had erected and saw into the torrid heart of her. The place of fire that burned in her chest and pumped poison into her veins. “Go rest, child. There will be less pain in the morning. Sleep is a great healer.”
The Regent touched her shoulder briefly in paternal comfort then swept away in a rustle of heavy robes. His regal head held high, and white mane billowing behind him.
Daniil, Koen, and Marina were left alone.
Moving away from Daniil’s arms, Marina found the strength to stand toe to toe face Koen.
She was winter.
She was ice.
“Aren’t you going to say anything?” she asked in an even voice. “Not a word?”
He turned slowly, and the cold passivity on his face shocked her to the bone. “What exactly could I say to you? It’s clear you’ve already made your mind up.”
Marina barely heard him over the shouting in her mind. “Anything. Some mumbled apology or excuse would be better than nothing!” Her voice ripped through an untold number of octaves into a hoarse shriek, already her icy composure was cracking. She drew deeper and chilled her emotions until she was numb. Not that hard since the numbness from her ankle was spreading to the rest of her limbs. “Just two odd syllables mashed together in a mangled grunt would do. Am I not worth even that? Do I mean so little you can’t even think up a reasonable fucking excuse?”
“I have no excuse. I wanted to kiss her, so I did.”
Hot slashes of pain tore at her heart.
Marina reminded herself was cold, ice, but even frozen water could move with deadly grace and at speeds to kill.
She flew at him, her hand raised to slap him across the face, but at the last possible moment, Daniil caught her wrist to yank her back.
“Do not touch him,” he hissed. “If you do it’s over.”
Wounded, she pulled her hand free, chest heaving.
“Yes,” Koen said. “Control yourself.”
Her whole body rocked back. It was like aliens had come down and taken her Koen and replaced him with this empty shell. Where was the bellowing, the heated passion that drove him to yell at her even as his eyes smoldered with banked passion.
“It’s already over,” she said. Lifting her chin, she let the full force of her loathing blaze in her eyes. It was easy when he was a man. He had always enraged her in this form. “Forget you,” she whispered.
Marina flung up a hand to halt whatever Daniil was going to say and strode away. She tripped on her skirts, and that ruined the severity of the effect she was after, but she shrugged Daniil off when he tried to help her, and made her way back to her room.
Halfway there, alone in a cavernous and empty hallway, Marina eased down and clutched her ankle. It throbbed. Fluid dribbled through her fingers, and it seriously burned when she ran a finger over the cut. Was it infected? Biting her lip, she managed to hobble up and back to her room.
Dinner would be served soon, and she had to get ready. She didn’t want to miss it, she didn’t want those people to think they’d run her off.
Koen Raad could go straight to the fiery pits of hell and choke on a lump of brimstone.
Her eyes were so heavy, and that strange numbness coursing through her limbs was spreading up her neck and the back of her skull.
Boy was waiting for her outside their new rooms. It had been easy to secure them once she had thrown a bit of a tantrum. It amplified the image she was spoilt, but it was better than the truth. She had to keep Boy safe, and people knowing he was once an assassin would paint a target on his back.
Crouched, his fine tunic dragging along the dusty floor, he played with his new knife, a gift she had given him from the Zar vault located in the lower bowels of the main fortress. He caressed the jewels in the hilt, but when he saw Marina slowly making her way toward him, his solemn face lightened, and his eyes lit up.
He stood from his perch, quiet and controlled fury, a boy with more darkness inside than Marina could hope to dispel. Yet, it made him more somehow.
He
noted the look on her face and walked to meet her half way down the corridor.
“I came to check on you,” he said awkwardly. “You were gone for so long. I worried.”
She stared at him. Boy had suffered through the hell of ten lifetimes and he was still standing.
“How do you do it?” she asked brokenly. “How do you manage when you think there is nothing left?”
Without questioning her, he took her hand and held it in his own. “I breathe. I remind myself that as long as there is pain it means I’m alive.”
“What about trust? How do you trust anybody not to hurt you?”
“I don’t,” he said bluntly. “Nor will I suffer the touch of anybody but you.” He paused. “What has upset you? You look unwell.”
Marina hung her head. “I wish I could say I should never of come here, to Tzion but then I wouldn’t have you, or Pasha.” She couldn’t look him in the eye. “I’ve been an idiot. I care for a man who… .” She trailed off. Truly, she felt broken. “Will you tell me one last thing?”
Boy cradled her hand in his, and leaned forward to rest his forehead on her shoulder. “Anything.”
She touched the back of his head, and almost smiled when her and sank into his plush curls. When he grew into manhood, she would have to beat them away with a stick. “How do you remain cold to those who’ve hurt you?”
“You become more than what you are. I like to think of myself as stone.”
She nodded in understanding, remembering the need to freeze herself against all emotion to have the ability to walk away from Koen. “I can be like ice.”
Boy lifted his head and dropped her hand, his tolerance for intimacy at its end. “Ice cries. It melts into lakes and streams that wash away anything in their path. Whatever has harmed you can only do so if you let it. It is okay to thaw. Let the tears come, and breathe easy when they wash away the pain.”
Marina excused herself, leaving Boy to look over his shoulder at her apprehensively.
When her tears fell, they would wash away the idealistic view she held of Koen Raad the dragon king. She had thought him untouchable, by anyone but her.
How wrong she’d been.
Smolder (Dragon Souls) Page 23