“Hey, we’ve been on our best behavior today,” Lilah said, eyes wide. “I haven’t called Tanner sweetums a single time.”
Next to her, Tanner shuddered. “Whatever you do, don’t start now.”
“Of course not. You know that’s not my idea of romantic conversation.” Lilah slid closer to him on the vinyl seat, her voice dropping progressively as she whispered in his ear. “I’m more likely to say something like…”
Tanner cleared his throat, then looked across the table. “You guys eat fast. I have plans after this.”
Rachel chuckled along with everyone else, not so much fatigued now as sleepily sated. The food was excellent, and the company was enjoyable. She savored her chicken fajitas while Lilah confessed her top-ten list of things she worried would go wrong at the wedding. They swapped humorous tales of faux pas they’d witnessed, including the ceremony David and Rachel had attended early in their own marriage where the bride’s veil had been singed during the lighting of the unity candle-particularly ironic since her groom, the one responsible, was a fireman.
“I remember your wedding,” Tanner said, smiling at Rachel and David. “Flawless. The two of you are so organized, so perfect together.”
Rachel squirmed in her chair, startled when David took her hand, his fingers caressing hers briefly.
“Rach deserves the credit for that. The ceremony was at her family’s church, and she took care of all the details.”
“What was it like?” Lilah asked, snuggled against her fiancé’s shoulder.
“It was raining that day,” Tanner began.
“Which is supposed to be lucky,” Rachel interjected, “but I’ve never understood how people risk having outdoor weddings.”
“The storm let up during the ceremony. We all went outside to wait and throw birdseed as they got in their limo.” Tanner’s face grew more animated as he described the scene for Lilah. “I kid you not, just as they emerged on the church steps, the sun broke through the clouds and a rainbow appeared over their car. You can see it in some of the wedding photos. It was like they were driving off into their own Hollywood ending.”
Rachel bit her bottom lip. Hollywood ending? If they weren’t careful, it would be more like a tragic independent film with a depressing soundtrack.
“I don’t remember the rainbow,” David admitted. He was responding to Tanner’s story but staring into Rachel’s eyes. “I barely remember anything about the day, except how beautiful you looked, watching you walk down that aisle toward me and knowing I couldn’t possibly deserve you.”
The golden boy of Mistletoe not deserve her? But his aquamarine eyes radiated so much sincerity she couldn’t think straight. “David…”
“I know, I know. I’m giving them a run for their nauseating and mushy title. I should stop.” He managed to tear his gaze away, his voice more composed when he glanced at Tanner and Lilah. “If poor Ari were here, she wouldn’t be able to keep down her food. Thanks, though.”
Tanner raised an eyebrow. “For?”
“Reminding me of that day, how lucky I was. The wedding goes fast. All those months of planning, and then it turns out to be this blur. Try to hang on to it. Keep those memories, and don’t ever take each other for granted.”
Lilah’s gaze was watery. “If you’re making me cry now, I can just imagine the damage you’ll do during the toast!”
“Wear waterproof mascara,” Rachel suggested. “That’s my plan.” For getting through the ceremony, anyway. She was no longer certain how she was going to make it beyond that. When David said things that were so sweet and devoted, it was hard to remember why she’d ever believed they should be apart.
THE BABY book Rachel had retrieved from the very back of her closet warned that pregnant women were prone to vivid dreams, something to do with estrogen fluctuations and their effect on REM sleep. The book also assured mothers-to-be that in a time as emotional as pregnancy, nightmares were common and shouldn’t be taken as omens that something was wrong. Rachel was not having nightmares, though.
Far from it.
Saturday night, after the drive back to Mistletoe in the intimate dark of early evening, her husband’s body so close to hers in the cramped backseat that she could feel his heat through her clothes, David had stayed on her mind long after she’d fallen asleep. She’d awakened in the middle of the night from embarrassingly detailed erotic dreams, tangled in sweaty sheets with her body still throbbing in pleasure. Sunday night had brought more of the same, dreams that haunted her thoughts while she got ready for work on Monday. It was difficult to focus on something as mundane as mailing labels when, at random moments, she’d reexperience the slide of David’s muscled body against hers.
During the middle of one such flashback that afternoon, she tugged at the collar of her sweater, suddenly feeling as if it was about ten degrees too warm in here. Good thing May had run to the bank with the afternoon deposit, or Rachel would be fielding questions about her clearly flustered state.
She was jarred back to reality by an insistent buzzing, a printer alarm that signaled a jam. Bending her knees, she squatted down to correct the situation. With a little effort, she wrestled the crumpled papers free and hit Continue. The cranky printer claimed the next two sheets as sacrifice, eating them, as well. Swearing softly, she turned the machine off, then back on, waiting for a blinking green light before she tried again. The first page had just printed successfully when she heard the front door open.
“Hello,” she called, standing to greet a potential customer. “I’ll be right-” Tunnel vision pressed in around her, darkening rapidly to no vision whatsoever as her head went balloon-light and floaty. She thought she managed to squeak out a final word, though she wasn’t sure what, before she fell.
When she came to, Rachel was too disoriented to know how much time had passed. She was on the floor by the industrial printers, her feet propped on a carton full of paper. May was fanning her with a spiral notebook, worry pinching her face as she spoke into the phone cradled at her shoulder.
“Oh, you’re awake! Thank God. David, she’s awake.”
Rachel blinked, still dizzy.
“You want something to drink, sweetie? Maybe I should get you a glass of water. Here, you can talk to David.”
Rachel didn’t feel much like talking to anyone, but she was too dazed to do anything but accept the phone pressed into her hand. “H-hello?”
“You stay right there,” David said, his voice taut with concern. “I’m on my way.”
Her thoughts began to clear enough for a twinge of humor. He wanted her to stay exactly where she was? “You don’t have to…”
“Rach, I’m coming over. It’s nonnegotiable. See you in a minute.”
Then she was left with only a dial tone as May fussed about what to do next. “You probably shouldn’t lift your head to drink, but I can’t find a straw. Am I supposed to have you breathe into a paper bag?”
That didn’t sound right. “I think for fainting, it’s supposed to be head between the knees.” Although it was probably too late for that in her case. Rachel swallowed, taking stock to see if she was hurt and whether her heart rate was normal. “Really, I think I’m okay.”
May continued wringing her hands as Rachel sipped the cool water. “You scared the dickens out of me. I walked in the door, you popped up from behind the counter, then just crashed over like a tree. All that was missing was someone to yell Timber! It took ten years off my life when I couldn’t get you to answer me.”
“Sorry. Was I out long?”
“Nah, just a moment or two. Felt like more when I was panicking. I probably should have called 911, but I dialed David over at the store without thinking.”
“No, I’m glad you didn’t call 911,” Rachel said. As it was, she was already mortified. “I’m fine now.”
She was fine. A horrible thought struck her, making her tremble with sick apprehension. Was the baby okay? Falling couldn’t be good for the pregnancy. She didn’t have long to
obsess over that, however, before David burst into the shop.
“Rachel!”
May stood, waving at him. “Back here.”
He rounded the counter at top speed, his gaze frantic and his skin ashen.
Rachel was stunned. He looks worse than I do. At least, he looked worse than she imagined she did.
Kneeling next to her, he cupped her face in his large hands, his touch infinitely tender. “You okay?”
“Yeah. Just stood up too fast. But-” She broke off, scared to put her fears into words.
“I called Dr. McDermott’s office and told them I was bringing you in. She didn’t hit her head or anything when she fell, did she?” he asked May.
“Not really, just toppled over.” May sent another agitated glance toward her only full-time employee, trying her best to look jovial. “You go with the big guy here and let him pamper you for the rest of the day, okay?”
Rachel braced herself to stand, but David had already slid his arms around her.
“I’ve got you,” he said.
“I can-” She lost her words as he scooped her against him.
Mmm, nice. She was reminded of their wedding night, when he’d carried her over the threshold of their hotel room, kicking the door shut behind him and not stopping until he’d reached the four-poster bed. She thought about pointing out that being pressed against him was not helping her light-headed condition, but by then they’d reached his car, and he had to set her on her unsteady feet to open the door for her.
“I feel very silly about this,” she said as she buckled her seat belt.
He didn’t look at her. “Silly is when cartoon animals slip on strategically placed banana peels, not when the woman I love passes out cold at work.” His tone was so even he could have been introducing himself to a stranger, but his knuckles were white on the steering wheel.
The woman I love? Her mouth went dry. She’d heard him say he loved her hundreds-probably thousands-of times, but at the moment, it seemed liked the most dramatic proclamation ever made. She had no idea how to respond.
Fortunately-and maybe because he wasn’t sure how she would answer-he didn’t give her a chance. “This is the first time this has happened, right? No other fainting episodes we should let the doc know about?”
“Dizzy a few times, but they always passed after a second.”
At the OB’s office, he helped her out of the car, his manner solicitous, but his tight grip on her hand crushing. Feeling firsthand how much she’d alarmed him, she managed not to wince. She let him hold on, sensing that he needed it.
A different nurse than the one they’d last seen ushered them back to wait for Dr. McDermott. Unlike his usual charming self, David was terse, never taking his eyes from Rachel even when he spoke to others. After a quick exam, Dr. McDermott declared there was no reason for worry.
“Everything seems fine,” she said in her most soothing professional voice. “This isn’t uncommon. You’ve got extra blood going to your uterus and legs now, your circulatory system’s got some adjusting to do. Stand slowly, don’t lock your knees, stay hydrated. Make sure you’re getting plenty of protein so that your blood sugar doesn’t get too low. You did the right thing by coming in today, but I don’t want you to worry unduly. If it happens again, we’ll monitor the situation and maybe run a few tests.”
“Thanks.” Rachel breathed a sigh of relief. “So I don’t have to go on bed rest or anything?”
Lydia chuckled. “No. But it wouldn’t hurt for you to take it easy today and keep your feet up.”
“Taken care of,” David said, finally starting to regain color in his face.
He looked so adamant that Rachel had a sudden vision of him moving all five of Winnie’s pets into their house so he could babysit her ’round the clock.
Once they were back in the car, she told him, “Sorry about today. Scaring you like that.”
“You don’t need to apologize. It’s not like you did it on purpose. Although-” he gave her a wan smile “-I’d appreciate it if you could avoid doing it again. I’m going to take you home, get you settled. Then I’ll go by Winnie’s, make sure everyone’s fed and give the dogs some playtime outside. Hildie’s getting great at fetch. She jumps up to catch the ball and rarely misses. But after I’ve taken care of them, I’ll be back to check on you and fix dinner. Any requests?”
“Whatever’s easiest.”
When they got to the house, he unlocked the door, waiting as she preceded him inside. It could have been any one of a hundred times-them coming back from Sunday lunch at his parents’, returning from a soccer game he’d coached, getting home after a town meeting. Don’t forget doctor visits. They’d come home from lots of different doctors’ visits in varying moods-optimistic that they might finally get their baby, frustrated that, after long months, nothing had changed, devastated that the pregnancy had terminated.
“Wow.” He looked past her at the coffee table in the living room. Photos, stickers, scissors and construction paper all lay in assorted piles. “Someone’s been busy.”
“The scrapbook,” she reminded him. “You think they know?”
David shrugged. “Nobody’s mentioned it to me, but what are the chances? It’s impossible to keep a secret here.”
“Not impossible,” she murmured. She didn’t think anyone knew about their separation. Anyone who’d seen the way he cradled her and carried her to the car today probably wouldn’t believe her even if she told them.
He swung his gaze from the scrapbooking supplies back to her. “We should get you to bed.”
“Typical guy,” she teased, wanting to keep his earlier worry at bay. “Only one thing on his mind.”
He didn’t smile, though. “If I thought there was even the slightest chance you’d let me join you…”
His words skittered along her nerve endings, and she experienced a Technicolor flashback to her dreams of the night before. Thankfully, he was too concerned about her to attempt a seduction, because she seriously doubted she could resist right now.
“Tell you what,” he suggested, “why don’t you go to the bedroom and change into something comfy? I’ll go pour you a drink. What do you feel like? Maybe I can bring you a snack, too.”
Rachel thought about it for a minute. “Apples-”
“-and peanut butter, with a glass of milk?” David grinned at her. “Coming right up.”
He knew her well, she thought as she changed into pajama bottoms and a faded Henley shirt. And he took good care of her, especially in situations like today’s.
Was she an idiot ever to have resented that? So she had a husband who couldn’t grasp that there were times she didn’t want him to ride to her rescue, striding in like some mythological hero with answers on how to solve all her problems-big deal. At least he tried; at least he cared. Even though the crisis today had been brief, during those terrifying moments when she’d worried something might have happened to the baby, she’d thanked God she didn’t have to go through it alone.
Pasting pictures of Lilah and Tanner into the album, she’d thought over and over about what that couple had been through. Tanner had panicked once and left; it had been a huge leap of faith for Lilah to take him back, trusting that he wouldn’t hurt her again. Now they looked at each other as if they were the only two people in the world, radiating so much happiness that seeing them was like staring directly into the sun. It would have been understandable if Lilah had refused to give him another chance, but then, think about how much she would have been missing now.
Think about what you’re missing. Rachel climbed beneath the sheets, her hand smoothing over the side where David had always slept.
He appeared in the doorway of their room carrying a wooden tray. A tart green apple was sliced and slathered with crunchy peanut butter, just the way she liked. A glass of skim milk sat next to the plate.
Her stomach rumbled in anticipation. What with being so busy fainting and causing panic, she’d missed lunch. “Thank you.”
“Anything else you need?” he asked her.
It was such a loaded question that she merely shook her head, not trusting herself to speak. She took a bite of apple just for the extra security.
“All right. I’m going to run to Winnie’s for a little while. The cordless phone is right there on the nightstand, and I’ll have my cell with me at all times. If you need anything…”
“I know.” She licked a spot of peanut butter off her finger. “And I appreciate it.”
He watched her eat, so intent that she held a slice toward him.
“Want one?” she asked.
He huffed out an amused sound that was more than a sigh but not fully a laugh. “You and your peanut-butter apples. Sure, why not?” He leaned forward to take the end with his teeth while his hand came up to hold the other half. His breath was warm against her skin.
Rachel shivered.
He straightened immediately, swallowing a bite of apple. “You cold? I can turn up the heat. Or get another blanket out of the closet.”
“No, I’m not cold at all. It was just…one of those involuntary muscle things.” She washed down the lie with some milk, struggling with the question she wanted to ask. “David? There is one thing.”
“Absolutely.” He got to his feet, looking relieved to have a task. “You name it.”
“Before you go…” She worried at her bottom lip with her teeth, feeling weak for what she was about to ask and hoping it didn’t qualify as a selfish mixed signal, but she was still so shaken from earlier. “Before you go, could you maybe just hold me for a minute?”
His expression was comically dumbfounded. Whatever he’d been expecting, that hadn’t been it. “All right,” he said slowly. “I can do that.”
Sitting against the headboard, he scooted over until he was almost behind her. She moved the tray onto the nightstand and leaned back, reclining against his chest. Breathing in the scent of him, she let her eyes close, sighing when his arms went around her.
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