Mistakes Were Made (Careless in Calabasas Book 1)

by Heidi McVay

  Beth now chewed at her lower lip, her eyes locking to the wall behind Sylvia’s head. It was, Sylvia noticed for the first time, the same thing that her daughter did. “But what if they get mad at us for interfering?”

  She bared her teeth for a moment, then caught herself. There were pieces of them in their children, she knew, but never had it been more clear than this moment. Zarek did the same damn thing when he was frustrated. Sylvia drew in a breath, forcing herself to calm down a little before she spoke again. “Let them get mad then. But if they were gonna be able to work this one out themselves, they would have done it already, Beth. Now, do you want to use my frequent flier miles or not?”

  *

  Zarek frowned as he heard the sound of Kilo barking, a happy bark interspersed with excited yips. That wasn’t so out of the ordinary. It was the sound of Jesse’s belly laughter from the driveway that was really odd. While Jesse was an easy-going guy, he was also pretty quiet. The last time Zarek had heard his friend laugh like that had been the past Thanksgiving when he’d gone to spend the first holiday after his divorce with Zarek’s family. He’d been unable to go himself because of work, and Jesse had been rattling around the property alone and hadn’t sounded so good. The memory of the video call he’d had with his parents so they could say hello to Evie that day now tugged at his memory. Zarek’s frown deepened as he rose from the chair where he’d been sitting at the table as Evie made a mess of what was left of her lunch.

  No sooner than he pulled the front door open, he heard that deep laugh again, his jaw dropping as he stepped out on his porch to see Jesse with an arm slung around – “Mom?” He had to be seeing things.

  His mother stepped back from Jesse and patted his friend on the cheek before Jesse gave him a wave and turned to head back to the barn, Kilo hot on his heels. The retired military working dog had lost a leg in an IED explosion in Afghanistan several years ago and hadn’t been the same since. The vet had labeled it some kind of brain damage, but the dog didn’t seem to mind or even notice. Kilo happily disappeared into the barn after Jesse, taking the turn a little too quickly and nearly slamming himself into the tire of Jesse’s truck. Zarek just knew that someday, the dog was going to kill itself accidentally.

  He returned his attention to his mother, who was striding toward him with a broad grin. Suspicion rose in him, warring with annoyance at the sight of her turning up uninvited. “Beth told you what happened.” Zarek’s voice was flat to his own ears as he tried to keep the irritation from his voice. He should have seen this coming after his conversation with Beth the morning before. He’d been at his lowest point the day before, when Scarlett had left him there alone, in his bedroom in Las Vegas. Despite repeated calls and texts, she’d never answered.

  Eventually, later that evening, he had given up and bundled his daughter right back into the rental car, gone to the airport, and flown home. He wasn’t about to try to face Tatiana’s funeral without Scarlett there. It was unthinkable now, to go to the service and show respect to a woman who’d never shown him half the loyalty Scarlett had.

  “She did.” His mother moved in, wrapping her arms around him. She was tall for a woman, but still barely cleared his shoulder. Zarek stiffened for a moment and then closed his eyes, bowing his head. In the next moment, out of nowhere, tears stung at his eyes. No matter how old he got, sometimes he just needed his fucking mom. He folded her in his arms and buried his face in her hair for a moment before steeling himself against the ache that rose in his chest once more.

  When he lifted his head, his mother pulled away and gripped his biceps, tipping her head up to study him. “Well, you look okay. Beth said you were crying.”

  Zarek stiffened. “I was not.” The defensiveness was immediate, as was the denial. “I was angry. I still am.”

  “Let’s go inside, and you make me some coffee while I love on my grandbaby, and we’ll talk.” There was no question to his mother’s words, and he knew there was no getting out of it. His mother was probably the only person on the face of the planet more stubborn than Scarlett. Even if he’d had the inclination to fight her, Zarek was too emotionally exhausted to try.

  Without a word, he turned for the open door. At the sight of her grandmother, Evie shrieked happily, a fistful of hotdog pieces going flying as she began to wiggle in her highchair. His mother stopped cold in the middle of the kitchen, staring at his daughter. Zarek glanced toward her, only to realize she’d managed to get her hands on the container of yogurt he’d been feeding her before he’d been distracted. She was now covered, head to toe, in banana and strawberry yogurt. It was in her hair, on her face, a glob hanging from her nose. She’d even managed to somehow get it between her tiny toes. She waved the yogurt cup proudly as she gurgled a greeting. “Daaaa! ‘gurt!”

  Well fuck. Not only was he a failure as a friend, but he was now also a failure as a father. Zarek forced a smile as he watched his mother’s face break into a grin at the sight. He nodded and headed for the highchair. “Yes. That is yogurt. It’s not meant for wearing. It’s meant for eating.”

  “Eat ‘gurt! Da!” She was just so damn proud of herself that Zarek found himself actually smiling genuinely as he reached to unbuckle the strap holding his wiggle worm into the seat and picking her up. “Yep. You are definitely my daughter. Well, I guess we should go hose you down.”

  His mother stepped forward and plucked Evie from his hands, smiling when the baby immediately began to bestow sticky yogurt kisses on her. “Aww. That’s what I’m talking about. You better fix this shit with Scarlett, Zarek. I’m gonna need more of these, pronto.” The words were lightly spoken, but even the sound of Scarlett’s name sent Zarek’s mood plummeting.

  He followed his mother down the stairs and into Evie’s room. “I wouldn’t get my hopes up if I were you. She’s made it pretty clear she doesn’t want anything to do with me, Mom.” Zarek’s voice was tight, despite his best efforts to banish all emotion from it. He should never have called Beth to spill his guts when Scarlett hadn’t answered the first half-dozen messages he’d left her. His suspicions that their mothers were working together was now confirmed.

  He followed her into the bathroom attached to the nursery and stepped past her to begin to run water in the tub. From behind him, her voice was distracted as she babbled right back to Evie, interspersing her answer to him with the babytalk she knew he despised. “Your Daddy is an idiot, isn’t he, baby girl? Yeah. Just the biggest goddamn idiot in the whole state of California. Yesss… oh, it’s funny. So funny.” She was insulting him, even as she made Evie chortle.

  “Mom! Will you please watch your language around her? The last thing I need is her learning to talk like you.” Zarek snapped the words as he brushed past her, where she was now bestowing raspberries on Evie’s bare belly. He pulled open the linen closet and drew out a washcloth and one of the fluffy pink towels Tatiana had picked out for Evie when she’d been born, a perfect match for the sickeningly pink accents in the nursery. Zarek hated those fucking towels.

  His mother’s voice sharpened, addressing him directly this time. “Oh, get the stick out of your ass, Zarek McCall. You turned out just fine despite my potty mouth. You do not get to take your bad mood out on me. Now sit down and tell me what happened.” She changed gears almost instantly as she moved to crouch beside the tub, placing Evie inside.

  Zarek took a seat on the edge beside the pair, sighing. “I thought Beth already did.”

  Sylvia’s sighed and reached for the plastic cup he used to wash Evie’s hair, filling it, and then carefully shielding the girl’s eyes with her hand as she rinsed the yogurt away. “She told me you two had a fight and that Scarlett ran off. I don’t know more than that.”

  “And you flew all the way here because Beth told you I fought with Scarlett?” Zarek arched a skeptical brow, folding his arms over his shoulders as he watched his mother squirt shampoo into her hand and begin to work it into Evie’s thick black hair. The look she cut him was enough to make him straigh
ten a bit and erase the look from his face. He finally spoke through gritted teeth. “I don’t really even know. We were finally talking, really talking. There was a storm…”

  He watched his mother’s hands, graceful and nimble, despite being in her mid-sixties now, working the shampoo gently through Evie’s hair as his daughter slapped at the water with a rubber hippopotamus. His mom was quiet, waiting for him to continue, and finally, he began to relax. His mother had always had a way of getting him to open up, simply by being patient. “We slept together.” He admitted quietly, bracing himself for her response.

  There was no immediate backlash. His mother’s hands stilled for a moment before she reached for the plastic cup once more, scooping up water to rinse the lather from the baby’s hair. Her voice was soft and chiding. “You always did screw up big, Zarek.”

  “Mom, can you please not do that? I know I fucked up, I don’t need you to confirm it.” He didn’t even try to temper his words this time. “I just don’t know how I screwed up. I keep replaying it in my head, and she went from happy to freaking out in about two seconds flat.”

  Sylvia offered no apology, as she reached for the washcloth and soaped it up before setting to bathing Evie while she spoke softly. “Well, Scarlett was always a little high-strung.” It was as close to an apology as he was going to get. So what were you talking about when she spazzed out?”

  Zarek leaned forward to brace his elbows on his knees. “Nothing, really. I brought her coffee, and then I said we should go get breakfast. I did mention getting married since we were already in Vegas. I thought she’d think that was romantic and spontaneous. At least those were the words I used.” He dragged a hand through his hair, never noticing that the bathroom had gone silent, save for Evie’s happy splashes. He continued more quietly. “I don’t really know where it went wrong, Mom. I told her we could have Jesse go get her things from her place and bring them here, and then she could go to Greece with Evie and me when I have to go back next week. I thought we could make it a honeymoon after my reshoots are done.”

  He was so absorbed in playing it over again in his mind for the millionth time that day that Zarek didn’t even register his mother moving. She smacked him on the back of the head with more force than she had since he was a teenager. “Ow! What the fuck, Mom?” He flinched away only to find his mother on her feet, wet washcloth in hand as she aimed it at the back of his head, sending water flying everywhere. It stung like a bitch, and his head was soaked by the time he managed to get his hands up to fend her off.

  His mother was suddenly fury incarnate. “You dumbass! You asked her to marry you? You asked her to move to fucking California less than two days after speaking to her again for the first time in years. What the hell is wrong with you, boy? I raised you better than that. I swear to God, Zarek Alexander McCall! Sometimes I think you’re so stupid you could throw yourself on the ground and miss! You are the dumbest smart person I know!”

  “Jesus! Mom, chill!” He rose from the tub, darting away. “You’re scaring Evie!”

  Evie, to the contrary, was absolutely entranced, silent, and watching as her grandmother rose up to track his movement, shaking the washcloth at him with no regard for the fact that she was still flinging water all over him. His mother continued in full rant mode now. “Why would you do that?”

  Zarek reached out to snatch the cloth from her, tossing it in the sink as he stepped back, hair now plastered to his face, his head still stinging.

  “Fuck. You hit like Scarlett. Ah. Shit. My head.”

  “Where do you think she learned it from? Now you answer me, or I swear I’ll do it again, and this time, it’ll really hurt!” At that moment, Zarek felt more pathetic than he had in years. He had a hundred pounds and a full head height on his mother, and she was terrifying. He stared at her, then growled, teeth bared. That earned him a pop to the shoulder.

  “Ow. Fuck. Stop hitting me!”

  “Start talking!” His mother snapped as she glanced back to be sure Evie was still okay. The baby had begun to grin at them, then started babbling excitedly, tossing her two cents in. Shit, even his kid was blasting him now. Why was every woman in his life against him? Couldn’t there be at least one person on his side?

  Zarek balled up his fist and then spat the words angrily, barely even registering that he said them. “I did it because I didn’t want to end up like you and Dad! Okay?” His mother’s grey eyes reflected confusion for a moment, and then understanding dawned. All the anger drained from her gaze in the next moment, and she surged forward, wrapping her arms around him in a tight hug. Zarek was even more confused now.

  “What?”

  She squeezed him tightly and stepped back a moment later. “Oh, baby.” It was the same tone she’d always used when she felt sorry for him.

  Zarek bristled under the weight of her pity, waiting for her to explain.

  Fortunately, his mother didn’t hesitate. “Is that what you think? You think I didn’t marry your father because he never asked me?”

  The hit him like a cannonball straight to the chest. His stomach turned as he realized what his mother was saying. “Wait. What?”

  She took a step back, moving to take a seat on the edge of the tub, casting a glance to Evie, who had abandoned her interest in their interaction in favor of splashing in the warm water. Zarek watched as his mother’s eyes lingered on his daughter, her gaze softening. “Baby, I’m so sorry. I had no idea. Sit down, Zarek.”

  Too confused to do anything else, he moved to take a seat on the floor next to the bathtub, folding his body awkwardly to lean against the wall. His mother’s eyes flicked from Evie to him, her voice soft. “Your father asked me to marry him, lots of times. Every time he came to see you. I lost count years ago. I said no every time.”

  This was news to him. The shock of it would have dropped Zarek if he hadn’t already been sitting. He swallowed hard and raked a hand through his hair as he asked the only question he could. “Why would you say no? I know how much you love him, Mom. And he loves you too. Why wouldn’t you say, yes?”

  “These things are complicated, Zarek.” Sylvia paused for a moment and then sighed. “I guess you have a right to know. This time I said yes. That was one of the reasons I came, not just this thing with Scarlett, but because I wanted to tell you in person that I did say yes.”

  And just like that, something broke within Zarek. He wrapped his arms around his midsection and leaned his head back against the wall, tears stinging at his eyes all over again, just for a different reason. His mother’s voice was softer now, filled with regret. “I said no to him all those times because I thought the only reason he wanted to marry me was you. I didn’t want that. I wanted to get married because a man loved me beyond reason. It’s part of why I tried so hard to convince you not to marry that girl.”

  His chest tightened as the realization of just how much pain his mother had been in and hidden it from him for so many years. “I married her because I didn’t want to repeat Dad’s mistakes. I thought it was the right thing. I only ever tried to do the right thing.”

  “I know, baby. I know.” His mother slipped from the tub and took a seat beside him on the floor, wrapping her arms around him and drawing him into an embrace in the way she hadn’t done since he was a boy. “I saw how miserable you were, and you felt like you didn’t have a way out. So I…”

  Zarek fought back against the wave of emotion that threatened to overwhelm him. His mother pressed a kiss to the top of his head and released him, drawing in a slow breath. “Zarek, I have to tell you something. Listen before you judge.” The pressure in his chest had only begun to ease up when it tightened again at those words. He stared at his mother, wondering why she was suddenly blurry, then realized belatedly that he’d failed on trying to hold back tears. She spoke once more, and this time, there was trepidation in her soft words. “I’m the one who released the recordings.”

  His heart stopped cold at those words. His mother had released the audio of
Tatiana and her mother? The recordings that had been the last straw in his already broken marriage? He drew in a shuddering breath.

  His mom was staring at him now, caution in her eyes. “You were so miserable, honey. I couldn’t stand to see you that way anymore.”

  “How?” He couldn’t stop the anger that bled into his voice. “How did you get them in the first place?”

  Sylvia pressed her lips into a grim line and then winced at his tone.

  “You remember when you found out about the photographers who were taking pictures of the house?” At Zarek’s nod, she continued. “You installed the security system. They were on the deck, the morning of the wedding, before the ceremony, while Tatiana was getting her hair done. When they came inside, Miranda was pale, like something had shaken her. I waited until after you left for your honeymoon, and then I pulled the security footage. I heard it all. I didn’t do anything because you were so scared she’d follow through on her threat to…” Sylvia’s eyes flicked to where Evie was still happily splashing with her hippo and rubber duck.

  He heard his mother release a long breath. When her gaze met his again, he saw tears in her eyes. “I wanted to see if maybe she’d turn out to be different than what I thought. But eventually, I couldn’t stand to see her treating you and that precious baby the way she did. So I asked a friend to strip the audio, and then I leaked it to the media.”

  Zarek closed his eyes against the initial rise of disgust that his mother would do such a thing. The anger that churned at his belly was the same urge that overtook him every time that time of his life was brought up. But she was right; he’d been miserable. Finally, the knot in his stomach began to unclench, and he was able to find the words to speak. Instead of addressing the bombshell she’d dropped to clear her conscience, he focused on the one thing he still needed to know. “If he kept asking you, all those years, why did you keep saying no to him after I was an adult? It doesn’t make sense.”