by C. E. Wilson
“I’m not jealous!”
“You could have fooled me,” Shawn says. “Whatever Reese’s reasoning is for this… it’s working. Eleven is calmer and more able to socialize. It won’t be much longer until—”
“I don’t want to have anything to do with that beast! I hate it! And I hate you!”
I try not to growl. I can’t stand the way Celia talks to her father and about Reese’s true reason for wanting to spend time with me. Other than saying ‘I don’t deserve this,’ he’s hardly given another reason. I want to know why. I don’t care if it’s pity. I don’t even care if he’s trying to show he’s not as heartless as born Beauties… but… I want to know. Why the sudden interest in his girlfriend’s Potential?
“You might want to watch yourself,” Shawn says. He’s warning Celia. I know the feel of Shawn’s lash and I don’t think Celia wants any part of that side of him. I hear her scuffling around upstairs. “I know you feel trapped because of the weather, but you are not going to start taking that tone with me. What I’m doing—”
“I don’t care what you’re doing,” Celia says in a low voice. She’s much calmer, but her words are still harsh. Shawn’s heavy steps fall above and I shudder. He’s terrifying, sometimes.
“You’re not going to mess this up for me…” he says gravely.
I’m not even a hundred percent sure these are his exact words, but I’m sure I’m getting the message loud and clear.
The doorbell rings.
“Speak of the devil,” I hear Shawn say.
“He’s not spending time with it today,” Celia says.
I pale at these words. No Reese? Shawn wouldn’t stand for it.
“Are you going to act like a child?” Shawn asks as Celia moves away to answer the door. Her steps are much lighter than Shawn’s and I can’t catch Celia’s response. I hear the sound of the front door opening and a new set of steps overhead.
“Good afternoon,” Reese’s voice rings out cheerfully.
“Good to see you,” Shawn says in response. “I’m surprised you made it on account of the weather.”
“The drive wasn’t easy, but I made a promise to you. I said I’d work with Eleven so you would feel safer with her being around Celia. She’s a challenge, but I’ve trained worse. There’s serious potential there, sir.”
“You said you were coming over to see me,” Celia says in a pouty voice. I roll my eyes in the safety of my room.
“And I am. You see me standing here, don’t you?” Reese says.
I can picture him smiling at her. A perfect Beauty. Silver hair falling over those scrumptious purple eyes. I wish he would come down here. If not for the nasty weather, Celia would be at tutoring and I wouldn’t have to listen to her nasal voice.
“You only come over to play with it,” she says in a sharp tone.
“He comes over to work with it,” Shawn corrects her. “Isn’t that right?”
“Right, sir,” Reese says. “So if you don’t mind…”
I light up when I hear him blowing off Celia. Thank High and Mighty. I sit up straighter on the bed and fiddle around with my mop of hair. Since Reese has been coming, I’ve started holding my hair under the showerhead to keep it clean. Water and towels don’t do much for the thickness, but my brown mop doesn’t mat like it used to. I wonder if I have time to run my head under the faucet…
“You’re not going,” Celia says. “I don’t have tutoring and I want us to hang out today.”
“Celia,” Shawn says in a warning tone.
“Dad, it’s not fair! It’s one day! I’ll be back at tutoring tomorrow! Can’t I hang out with Reese? He’s always with the beast! I’m his girlfriend! You’re not being fair!”
“Celia, Reese isn’t over here to hang out…”
“No…” Reese interjects, “… it’s fine, sir.”
I freeze up. What? Why’s Reese stepping in? This is his chance. Shawn’s saying he can come down here, but suddenly Reese says he wants to hang out with Celia and her nasally voice?
“Reese…” Shawn says, “… you have a job to do and—”
“My first job is keeping Celia happy,” Reese says. “And apparently I’m not doing a good job, lately.”
“No you’re not,” Celia pouts.
“I haven’t been fair to you,” Reese continues. I imagine his face softening as he looks down at Celia. I want to be sick. How can he still care for her when she’s whining and crying like a bratty child? I thought Reese wanted to help me. I sometimes sound like a jealous and whining baby just like her, but I’m the one wearing a shock collar in the basement and she’s the one who thinks that a missing glove is an existential crisis. She’s upset because the weather’s keeping her cooped up for one day? She should try being cooped up for years. She should try wearing a collar and leash like a dog. My hands shake at the idea of not seeing Reese.
Life isn’t fair.
One thing. Just one light in my otherwise dark day and Celia takes it away simply because she’s bored.
And Reese feeds into it. I guess he does want to be a part of Celia’s family. Expert Potential Trainer Reese. I wonder what he charges an hour.
“You should probably let it know you’re not doing training today,” Shawn starts to say.
“No! It’s fine!” Celia wails. “He’s not going down there. He’s with me today. I want to watch a movie.”
I want Reese to stand up and say something. I want someone… anyone to stand up to Celia, but Reese sighs.
“All right, babe. If that’s what you want. You’ve got me all day, okay? Are you happy?”
Bile rises in my throat at the nickname. Babe.
“I’m going to try to make my way to the hospital,” Shawn says. “You two behave yourselves.”
“Tell him he can’t see it today,” Celia says. “Tell Reese he has to stay with me.”
“I’m not his jailer, Celia, for God’s sake,” Shawn mutters, walking away from the two of them.
I frown and lay back in bed as I hear Shawn’s car start and Celia and Reese’s voices drift away. They must be going upstairs to her room to watch a movie… just like she wanted. Celia always gets what she wants and if she wants Reese, he comes like a good dog. He’s still a bit of a Potential in the way he acts with her. Pulling the blanket around me, I try not to think about how Reese should be working with me.
I hate the snow.
It keeps me away from him.
I’ve been looking forward to seeing him since the moment he left me yesterday, and just like that I’m forgotten and he’s all cozied up with Celia and watching a movie.
I suddenly realize I want to watch a movie. I want to be snuggled up with Reese. I don’t want him to sit across the room in fear I’m going to jump on him. I don’t want to be tied up to a shock collar and nailed to a wall. I want to be with him. I want to run my fingers through his silver hair and I want… I want him to kiss me. I want to feel his hands all over my body.
Time creeps along and I’m sure an hour has gone by as I’m lying in bed with blankets wrapped tightly around my shrinking frame. I’m getting thin again; sometimes Shawn forgets I need to eat, but I’m not showing any bones.
Reese always brings food even if it’s only candy.
Wind whistles through the trees from outside, but there’s nothing else. I’m bored and lonely.
Lonely.
I hate feeling sorry for myself, but when a glimpse of happiness is thrown my way and is then so easily snatched back, it’s hard not to. My eyes have just closed when suddenly a door creaks open and there are faint steps in the house above.
I don’t sit up. The steps continue and my eyes drift to the ceiling as they make their way through the floor above me. Is Celia getting a drink? Is Shawn’s wife up and about? The steps continue and another door slowly opens – the basement door. Someone is coming downstairs? It can’t be Celia or Shawn’s wife. Which can only mean… my eyes fall to the floor and the knob jingles.
“Eleven
?”
Reese. I can’t bring myself to speak and I stare at the floor. He’s waiting for a response, but when it doesn’t come, he sighs loudly.
“I guess you’re asleep. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I couldn’t come today. Celia started having a tantrum and I—” he cuts himself off. “I can’t blow this opportunity I have with her. If I started arguing about wanting to see you, she’d know something was up and she wouldn’t be the only one. Shawn might stop me from seeing you if he suspected my interest was more than professional. You have to understand, Eleven… this is a complicated world and just as you’re trying to get by, so am I.”
I frown at these words. He’s admitting he’s weak. And by doing so, he’s pointing out that I’m weak too. I pull the faded blankets closer and the bed creaks slightly under the shifting. If Reese thinks I’m awake, he doesn’t call me out on it.
“I wanted to see you,” he admits quietly. “I don’t think you understand how much I want to see you, but like I said… I couldn’t ignore Celia. I’m sorry, but I was thinking of you.”
What’s that supposed to mean? I want to ask, but I still don’t allow the words to come. He should feel helpless for a change.
“Paulson locked the door. Otherwise, I would be in there to check if you’re okay. Paulson might suspect. All I know is Celia’s sleeping and all I could think about was sneaking out to talk to you, but I guess you’re asleep or too pissed to talk to me. I get it.” He inhales and exhales deeply. “I’m a coward like everyone else, Eleven. I’m a fraud. I’m a Beauty, but there’s still a part of me that remembers what I was. What I am.”
He lets out a stiff laugh. “But that probably doesn’t mean much coming from me. Especially knowing you’re asleep. The roads should be cleared by tomorrow so I’ll be able to see you. Celia will be at tutoring and… and I promise I’ll find a way to see you.”
I sit up slowly in bed as he shifts around.
“I can’t stay though. Celia’s probably going to wake up and wonder where I am, but I wanted to drop this off…” He trails off and I straighten as a small package slides through the crack under the door.
Chocolate.
My collar and leash rustle as I climb off the bed to inspect it. Another few pieces slide across the chasm, but neither of us speaks. Reese must know I’m awake. I pick up the different pieces in my hands and scatter them in my palm. A gift? The wrappers are almost too pretty to ruin with my fingers. Some are light purple and some are dark. And there’s even a green one.
I close my fingers around them and my lips part to thank him.
“Reese?” a sleepy voice wails from the distance. “Reese, where are you?”
“Seriously?” he mutters. “I’ve gotta go,” he grumbles, shuffling behind the door. He doesn’t shout back to Celia at first, but he’s trying to scramble back up the stairs.
I stare at the chocolate as Reese closes the door to the basement and calls back to Celia. Reese mutters about misplacing his wallet and checking around. Celia sounds skeptical, but doesn’t accuse him of anything so I can only assume that his secret visit will be just that. A secret.
I hold the candies close to my heart. If I close my eyes and inhale, I can imagine it’s Reese I’m holding and not some wrapped candies. He always smells like chocolate. It’s comforting and familiar even though I barely know him. He’s sweet… and though a lot of Beauties smell sweet, he’s different. A lot of Beauties can be nice, but he’s different. And even though he might be lying, I want to believe Reese is telling the truth.
He’s either the nicest Beauty I’ve ever met or the most twisted.
Chapter Eight
“You must think you’re pretty crafty.”
“I didn’t ask him to come, Shawn—”
My words are cut short by a sharp blow to the side of my head. His strike isn’t enough to knock me from my kneeling position, but I flinch back from the pain, coughing violently. Shawn’s upset. I’m not a fool. Of course he’s upset. When a full-sized man stands over me while I kneel on the cold floor and strikes me with full force, my only hope is that he’ll get bored with the power exchange before I’m too badly damaged.
“Celia said something about a wallet?” Shawn asks as I steady myself.
I taste the warm blood in my mouth. He’s struck me a few times already and while I try to find a place in my mind where he can’t get to me, it’s hard with one swollen eye. “Did you try to steal Reese’s wallet?”
“No, Shawn. I wouldn’t—” a kick catches my side and knocks the breath out of me.
“Why would Reese come down here, of all places, looking for his wallet?” he growls. He reaches down, grabs my collar, and heaves me up to his face as I gasp for breath. He still smells sweet, but there is alcohol on his breath. I don’t want to scrunch my nose, but it’s hard. “Why here, Grace?”
“I don’t know, Shawn. Please, I didn’t do—”
“You’re lying to me!” he roars, flinging me back onto the rickety bed. I crash into the wall and my wrist cries out in pain as I try to steady myself while he advances. I hold up my hands in defense, but Shawn easily grabs both my wrists and holds them above my head as I sputter and cry. Blood and spit dribbles down my chin, but his eyes hold no hint of sympathy.
No games, today.
“I assumed you were cunning, but I didn’t think you were stupid, Grace,” Shawn spits at me.
“I didn’t try to take his wallet. I swear. I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t dare!”
“You’re lying! What do you want from that boy, Grace?”
“Nothing!”
“Were you upset he didn’t see you today?”
“No, Shawn. I only like seeing you.” I want to get his heavy body off of mine and I want to hold my wrist under a cold faucet. Shawn’s expression softens slightly, and I press my momentary advantage. “I wouldn’t do something stupid. You’d find out.”
“Yeah,” Shawn grunts, “but you’re also smart. Smart enough to try and trick me.”
“I wouldn’t…”
“You would,” he says. His hold relaxes slightly and I squirm enough so my body isn’t crying out in pain. He shudders and rests his heavy head on my shoulder. “Why must you do this to me?” he mutters into the thin fabric of my shirt.
His dry, warm lips brush against my skin and find my mouth and I have to force myself not to recoil. I don’t want his rough and confusing affection. Not tonight. I want to see Reese tomorrow and I don’t want to be haunted by Shawn’s touch. Perhaps I appealed to Shawn too much. His kisses grow deeper, more desperate, and I sit motionless in hopes that kissing will be enough for him.
“What are you doing to me, Grace?” he mutters, pulling away and keeping my wrists held above my head. “Why do you trick me like this? I don’t want you… you’re… you’re disgusting,” he continues.
The words sting as I pinch my eyes shut and try to think about Reese. The purple and green wrapped candies hidden under the mattress. I want to pull them out and smell them as Shawn continues to hold me captive by my wrists and hair. I want to shower.
“Grace,” he moans. He pulls his face away from my neck and looks into my eyes. I suppress my feeling of shock. I’m still looking at a Beauty, but a broken one. His arrogant confidence has abandoned him in the moment and I’m left staring at a red-eyed, middle-aged man in rumpled clothes who reeks of whiskey. He’s not as attractive as I once thought. The hand fisting my hair breaks free and he touches the swollen parts of my face. I wince as fingertips graze over my skin, but I don’t look away from his intense green eyes.
“You have no idea what you can become,” he says in a strangled voice. “You belong to me. Say it.”
“I belong to you,” I whisper. He finally releases my wrists and slides away from the bed on his knees. His hands go to his lap, but his eyes remain on me.
“My pitiful, damaged bird,” he mutters, eyes scanning my face. “Look what I’ve done to you.”
“It’s all right, Shawn. You thought I disobey
ed you…”
“And you did,” he says over me. “I can’t prove it, but I know you did.”
“But, Shawn—” and then he stands up. I watch him back towards the door and he never looks away from me.
“Don’t move… I think I have the solution,” he says, exiting and closing the door behind him.
Once his steps retreat to another part of the house, I let out a sigh of relief. Reese will probably wonder what happened if he’s allowed to come back. I worry about what Shawn considers a solution to his problem. Fuming for a moment, I realize this whole thing isn’t only Reese’s fault, but Celia’s. She must have told her dad Reese was down here. She’s probably smiling at the idea of me being punished.
Celia certainly doesn’t want anything to do with me and the longer I stay with Shawn, the more possessive he becomes. It is only a matter of time before he damages me enough that I will no longer be worth keeping. There is a chance he will still sponsor me, but as the days pass, I worry that he may have… other plans for me.
Leaning slightly to the side of the bed, my fingers brush the foils of the chocolates Reese left for me. He said he was a coward. He said he needed to act the way he did to keep everyone safe… but was I safe?
“I’ve got it!” Shawn says as the door flies back open and I leap to my feet.
“Got what—” I snap to a halt when I see what he has in his hands. Metal cuffs.
“These will keep you out of trouble,” Shawn says as he strides over, wasting no time. He grabs my wrists, kneels in front of the bed, and quickly locks them on. My injured wrist screams out at the pressure but I bite back any reaction. “I thought the collar would be enough, but I hadn’t considered your hands would be free. I spoke to Dr. Wynters and she suggested wrist cuffs.” He smiles at his work, holding my hands in his. I’m more restricted than ever.
“They’re beautiful,” he whispers. “Simply breathtaking. Don’t you like them, Grace?”
I’m nodding with watery eyes. Dr. Wynters suggested this? Reese’s aunt? Why? Battered and broken, I look up at Shawn and keep nodding like a good little pet. I’m no better than Reese. Just as he has to put on an act to keep himself safe, I have to do the same. If I show anything other than obedience, I don’t know what Shawn will do. He’s getting more irrational, but I am not defeated.