by Ford, Aria
Running was second nature to me. After years of PT and physical exertion, my body needed the exercise to function. I wasn’t the kind of person who could survive off potato chips and sitcoms. If I didn’t run at least once a day, I would lose my mind.
Still, running through these suburban streets wasn’t what I craved. I already missed the rough terrains I used to traverse. My feet longed for rocky paths and bumpy trails. Deep down, I was happy to be a civilian again, but part of me felt lost, unsure.
When I first joined the navy, it was because I didn’t have anything else. The military was just a natural step. It didn’t mean much until I decided to become a SEAL. Then my life had purpose. I suddenly felt like the person I was always meant to be. Without that time, I knew my life would have fallen apart. I wasn’t the best kid or teenager. I was on the path that most foster kids take, a dangerous one. But the SEALs changed all that. They pushed me and inspired me, turning me into a man who was finally worthy of a good life.
As I jogged back to my apartment building, my mind drifted to my last mission. It was a success. Bradley and I both made it out alive, as did our team. Everything went smoothly, except for the insurgent I killed. Just thinking about it made my stomach clench. I forced the guilt away and turned a corner, stopping dead in my tracks.
My eyes fell on my front porch where a woman was standing. As I watched, she raised her knuckles and knocked on the door. She took a step back and waited for an answer that wouldn’t come.
With a frown, I walked slowly forward, taking in her appearance as I moved. She was wearing a simple t-shirt and jeans, with tennis shoes tied tightly on her feet. Her blonde hair was curled up into a neat bun at the back of her head. Something about her seemed familiar, but I couldn’t place it. The closer I got, the more attractive she became.
She heard my footsteps and turned around. Her green eyes were hidden behind a pair of black rimmed glasses. They locked on my face, and she smiled nervously as she looked me up and down. I stepped in front of her, ready to introduce myself, when I suddenly realized why she looked familiar.
“Jacqueline?” I asked with wide eyes.
“Hey, Ryan,” she said, laughing lightly. “It’s good to see you.”
“Holy shit,” I breathed. “What are you doing here? How are you?”
“Bradley told me you moved here,” she said. “My clinic is just a few miles down the road, so I thought I’d stop by and see you. It’s been a long time.”
I nodded. “Nine years, right?”
“Something like that,” she said.
“Well, come here,” I said, walking over to her and giving her a hug. It was strange, and I pulled away quickly. She wasn’t the little girl I remembered.
I felt awkward just standing outside, but I didn’t know what to say. Seeing Jacqueline was a huge shock. The last time we were around each other, she was just a kid. At eighteen, I bolted without a second thought. I hadn’t seen Bradley’s little sister since.
“Do you want to come inside?” I asked.
She smiled. “Sure. That would be great.”
I stepped around her to unlock the door. We both walked inside, and I immediately felt self-conscious about my place.
“It’s kind of barren,” I said, scratching my head. “I haven’t had a chance to organize yet.”
Jacqueline shrugged. “No worries. It’s great.”
“Are you thirsty?” I asked. “I’m gonna grab some water.”
She nodded. “Water would be good.”
I hurried to the kitchen and grabbed two water bottles from the fridge. Walking back over to her, I tossed her a bottle, and she caught it easily. We both took a few sips and fell into an uneasy silence. There was so much to say, but neither of us knew where to start.
“So,” I finally said. “How have you been?”
She nodded. “Good. I’ve been good. Graduated vet school and moved out here. I’m working at a clinic now.”
“Yeah, Bradley mentioned something about that,” I said. It was true. Bradley often filled me in on his family, but I rarely listened. It was easier to pretend like they didn’t exist.
“We missed you at the party,” Jacqueline said softly. “It wasn’t the same without you.”
“I doubt that,” I scoffed. “I’m sure your parents had a great time.”
“They did,” Jacqueline admitted. “But it wasn’t the same for Bradley and me. We missed you.”
“Yeah,” I said, scratching my head again. Jacqueline meant well, but I didn’t want to talk about her family.
“It was good to see Bradley,” she said. “I’m glad he’s home for good now. I’m glad you both are.”
“It’s nice to be out,” I said with a shrug. “Still feels kind of weird, though.”
“It’ll take a while to adjust,” Jacqueline said. “Getting back into civilian life can’t be easy. For anyone.”
“It’s not,” I admitted. “But it’s nice.”
She smiled. “Yeah.”
We fell into another uneasy silence, glancing at each other every so often. I didn’t know what to say, but I knew I didn’t want her to leave yet.
“Listen,” I said suddenly. “Are you hungry?”
“Um,” she said. “Sure, I could eat.”
“Let me grab a quick shower, and we can go get lunch,” I said.
Jacqueline nodded. “Sounds great.”
“Make yourself at home,” I said, gesturing toward the couch. “I’ll only be a minute.”
“Take your time,” she said. “No rush.”
I smiled and hurried into my bedroom. Closing the door behind me, I sighed deeply and ran my hands over my face. Seeing Jacqueline again was a total surprise. I wasn’t ready to face anyone from Bradley’s family, and the last thing I expected was for one of them to appear on my doorstep. Quickly, I walked into the bathroom and jumped in the shower.
As I showered, I let the water wash away my nerves. There was no reason I should feel so weird about seeing Jacqueline again. It had been years, but she was still Bradley’s sister. She, unlike her parents, never did anything to hurt me. She was just a sweet, innocent kid who was nice enough to drop by. I forced myself to calm down as I turned off the shower and got dressed. Having lunch with Jacqueline would be fun, just like old times. All I had to do was relax.
CHAPTER FOUR
Jacqueline
After Ryan disappeared to take a shower, I stood awkwardly in his living room. I looked around, taking in the lack of furniture and unpacked boxes. Ryan didn’t have a lot of possessions, but it was strange to see the apartment so empty.
I knew I should sit down on the couch to wait for him, but I couldn’t bring myself to move. Our interaction felt so forced and uncomfortable. It was good to see him, but I didn’t realize how weird it would be after all these years.
Finally, I forced myself to sit down and wait for him. I nestled into the couch cushions and sipped my water, not sure what to think. Seeing Ryan again was nice, but he was nothing like the boy I remembered. With Bradley, I saw the changes in him each time he returned home on leave. With Ryan, it felt like I blinked and he became this man. This man who was incredibly attractive. When I saw him outside, I felt sure I had the wrong apartment. The tall, muscular man standing in front of me couldn’t possibly be Ryan Link.
But it was. My shock and discomfort were quickly replaced with joy. It felt great to see him. I just wished it hadn’t been nine years since we were last in the same place. As I sat on the couch, Ryan’s bedroom door opened, and he called out to me.
“What do you feel like for lunch?” he asked. “I was thinking burgers.”
He opened the door so I could hear him, but it allowed me to see inside his room. He was wearing nothing but a towel, and his bare chest glistened with water from the shower. I stared pointedly up at the ceiling before I answered.
“Sure,” I said. “That sounds good.”
“There’s also a really good Mexican place around the corner,” he
suggested. “I can’t remember. Do you like Mexican food?”
“Not really,” I answered. “Burgers sound good.”
“Okay, burgers it is,” he said brightly. “We’ll hit the diner down the street.”
My attention was still focused on the ceiling. I wished he would hurry up and get dressed so I wouldn’t have to keep my neck craned upward. I wasn’t the kind of person who engaged in conversations with half-naked men. My face felt flushed.
“What are you looking at?” Ryan asked, his voice sounding much closer now.
I looked down to see him standing in the doorway, fully clothed. My cheeks burned, and I smiled to cover my discomfort.
“Nothing,” I said. “You just have a crack up there. That’s all.”
“Oh,” Ryan said, glancing up at the ceiling with a frown. “Good to know.”
“Yup,” I said, jumping off the couch. “You ready to go?”
Ryan nodded and led the way outside. He locked the door behind us, and we set off toward the diner.
“It’s just across the street,” Ryan said. “Close enough to walk.”
I nodded. “Great.”
As we walked, Ryan kept up most of the conversation. Any awkward tension he felt upon my arrival was clearly gone. His easy demeanor was back, and he seemed more like the person I remembered. Still, I felt weird walking beside him. When we made it to the diner, we sat down in a corner booth and waited for a waitress to bring us menus. She took our drink orders before she walked away.
I skimmed the menu slowly, still not sure what to say. Being around Ryan felt nice, like old times, but it also felt strange. When we were younger, we never hung out alone. Bradley was always around, and even when Ryan lived with us, we didn’t spend much time together. I was young and so was he. We didn’t grow up together, not really, so our bond wasn’t very strong.
“So,” Ryan said. “You’re a veterinarian now?”
“I am,” I said proudly. “I just graduated and got this job at the clinic, but it’s been great so far”
“That’s not at all what I pictured you doing,” Ryan said with a cocky tone.
“Really?” I asked. “Why not?”
Ryan shrugged. “I don’t know. I just imagined you doing something bigger.”
“Bigger?” I repeated curiously.
“More important,” he clarified. “Like an environmental lawyer or a social worker or something.”
I frowned. Ryan’s words weren’t meant as an insult, but they felt like one. He didn’t know me as an adult, and he barely knew me as a child. I didn’t know what path he expected me to take, but I didn’t appreciate his snap judgement. He suddenly reminded me a lot of the kid I used to know.
Back then Ryan was always in trouble. His arrogance often drove him to do stupid things without fear of getting caught. He truly believed himself to be invincible. He wasn’t. He always got caught.
“I’ve always loved animals,” I reminded him, trying to keep the irritation out of my voice. “Don’t you remember me constantly begging Mom and Dad for a dog when we were younger?”
“I don’t remember much from that time,” Ryan said coldly.
“Why not?” I asked.
“I just didn’t feel like it was worth committing to memory,” he said.
His tone still held the same cocky coldness that made my blood boil. I kept myself calm, refusing to let my frustrations show. He was being rude, but he was still Ryan. I promised Bradley I would check in on him, so that’s what I was doing. If he wanted to be an arrogant dick, then fine.
“So,” I said after the waitress took our order. “What do you want to do with your life? I mean, now that you’re a civilian again.”
He shrugged. “I don’t know yet. I’m still adjusting to everything right now.”
“Sure,” I said. “That makes sense, but there must be something you want to do? Something that interests you.”
“I’ll figure it out,” he said with a wave of his hand. “Not worried about it yet.”
“Shouldn’t you be?” I asked. Like him, my words weren’t meant as an insult, but he seemed to take them as such. His eyes flashed as he leaned back in the booth.
“Well, not all of us can be vets, Jacqueline,” he said with a grimace.
“Did I say you should be?” I snapped. “I just asked a question.”
“And what prompted that question?” he demanded. “Your parents want to know what I’m doing now? Or did Bradley ask you to browbeat me into doing something productive?”
“Neither,” I said. “It’s a natural question to ask, Ryan. You just left the military. Anyone would wonder what your plans are.”
“Sure,” he scoffed. “Anyone.”
“Fine,” I said, sighing. “Let’s talk about something else.”
“Like what?” he asked as the waitress brought over our plates.
I smiled at her gratefully and popped a fry in my mouth.
“Well,” I said. “I just got this new patient on Friday. She’s a German shepherd, and she’s gorgeous. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more beautiful dog. But she has hip dysplasia so bad that she can barely walk sometimes. She’s only two, so it’s really weird.”
“Seriously?” Ryan asked, interrupting me.
“What? You wanted to talk about something else,” I said.
“And that’s what you chose?” he asked, laughing.
I narrowed my eyes angrily. After just a short time, I was already fed up with his attitude. He was cocky and rude, just like he’d been as a teenager. As time passed, I let myself believe he was a good person underneath everything. Even when he was at his worst, he was still nice to me. I guess that was because I was a kid, and now he didn’t care. There was no obligation to be polite or kind in my presence.
“This was a mistake,” I said softly. “Bradley wanted me to check in on you, but obviously that’s not what you want. I’m just going to go.”
“What?” Ryan asked, blinking with surprise. “Why?”
“Because you’re cocky, and you’re being an ass,” I said without hesitation. Being blunt was never my forte, but I couldn’t help it.
“I’m not,” he began, but I cut him off with a look.
“I’m not a kid anymore, Ryan,” I snapped. “I know we haven’t seen each other in years, but I really thought this would be nice. Catching up. Seeing you again. But it’s not.”
With that, I stood up and left the diner. Ryan called out my name, but I didn’t bother turning around. My hamburger sat untouched on the table; my appetite suddenly gone. I stormed across the street until I reached my car.
I glanced behind me to see if Ryan followed, but he was nowhere in sight. With a roll of my eyes, I unlocked my car and climbed behind the wheel. As I sat there, my anger slowly faded away and was replaced with a deep disappointment. My hopes for this afternoon had been high. I was nervous, but excited. I didn’t know what I expected from Ryan, but it wasn’t this.
CHAPTER FIVE
Ryan
My week dragged on torturously. After lunch with Jacqueline, I didn’t do anything for three full days. When she stormed out of the diner, I was surprised by how much of a drama queen she’d become. Just when I finally relaxed enough to talk to her normally, she flew off the handle. I couldn’t believe she would overreact like that. As I finished my burger, I thought about calling Bradley to tell him how crazy his sister was.
As the week progressed, though, I realized Jacqueline may not have overreacted. I was a little gruff with her. Being in the military for so long hardened me. I was always cocky, arrogance was my most prominent trait, but I’d worsened over the years. My friends didn’t care because they were the same way. All SEALs had a cocky undertone when they spoke, but most of them could hide it around other people, especially girls. Me? I never saw the point. I wasn’t around anyone long enough for it to matter, and I never spent more than one night with a woman.
Jacqueline was different. She was Bradley’s sister. I’d kn
own her for years. I realized too late that I shouldn’t have popped off on her that way. She didn’t deserve to be on the receiving end of my snarky comments. If anything, she deserved my best behavior.
It was nice of her to come by and see me. Even if Bradley asked her to, she didn’t have to listen. She could have easily moved on with her life without giving me a second thought, but she didn’t. She came over.
Thursday morning was slow. I went for a jog and took a long shower. When I got out, I realized how much of the day was left. I sighed and sat on the couch, just staring at my blank walls. This would have been the perfect day to call up a friend for lunch or drinks, but I didn’t have anyone in Richmond. The only person I knew was Jacqueline, and I’d successfully managed to piss her off already. As I thought that, I realized that I needed to fix things. Jacqueline was Bradley’s sister after all. I couldn’t let her hate me forever. Plus, it couldn’t hurt to have a friend in town.
I grabbed my phone and looked up where the nearest animal shelter was. Once I found it, I threw on my shoes and hurried out to my car. I drove a few miles until I reached the place. It was tucked in the corner of an old shopping center.
At first I worried it was closed. There didn’t appear to be any lights on inside, and only one car sat out front. With a frown, I parked and walked up to the front door. Peering inside, I saw movement behind the desk. I opened the door and was greeted by a loud bell.
“Welcome,” a chipper voice said. I looked behind the counter and saw an older woman standing there with a wide smile on her face. “How can I help you today?”
“Well,” I said, stepping forward. “I’m looking for a pet.”
“We have those here,” she said, smiling. “What kind? Dog? Cat? Bird?”
“You have birds?” I asked, surprised.
She nodded. “We do. Do you like birds?”