by Ford, Aria
I could always tell Bradley everything. We were brothers, best friends, confidants. But this? I couldn’t imagine what he would say if I fessed up to sleeping with his sister. He was already livid with me about his parents. How would he feel if he found out about Jacqueline?
“You two gonna hang out again?” Bradley asked.
I shrugged. “I don’t know, man. She’s busy with the vet clinic. I don’t want to bother her.”
“You won’t,” Bradley promised. “She loves you just as much as I do, Ry. She missed you. You should have seen her at the homecoming party. God, she was pissed.”
“She was?” I asked. “About what?”
“Well,” Bradley said, smiling. “Mom didn’t put your name on the cake. She tried to tell Jacqueline that you weren’t even coming, but Ash didn’t care. She got so pissed about it. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her that upset.”
“I doubt it was that bad,” I scoffed. “Come on, she barely knows me.”
“That’s not true,” Bradley said, shaking his head. “Look, you may have disowned all of us, but we haven’t disowned you. Jacqueline still cares about you, man. Why else would she fly off the handle about a damn cake?”
I didn’t answer. I didn’t know what to say. The thought of Jacqueline coming to my defense sent a warm feeling shooting through my chest. It took all my strength to keep the smile off my face, in case it gave me away. Still, it brought even more confusion to our situation.
If Jacqueline still cared about me that much, why did she run out Saturday morning? After we had sex, she just bolted without any explanation. She’d been avoiding my calls ever since. I refused to believe it was because she thought of me as a brother. There was no way, after what we did, that her feelings for me were familial. She wanted me. I saw it in her eyes. I heard it in her moans.
As Bradley and I finished our coffee and paid the bill, my mind stayed focused on Jacqueline. More than anything, I wanted to talk to her, to see her, and to find out exactly what made her run.
CHAPTER TEN
Jacqueline
Thursday flew by quickly. I had a nonstop stream of patients, and by five o’clock, I was more than ready to go home and fall asleep. My body was sore, and my brain was exhausted. I loved my job, but it was hard when I didn’t get a single break throughout the day. Still, I was grateful for the distraction.
It had been almost a full week since I last saw Ryan. When I left that morning, I wasn’t thinking about anything but getting away. He didn’t deserve what I did, but I couldn’t help it. My entire body forced me out the door.
I thought about Ryan on and off all week. When I wasn’t busy, I relived that morning. I could still smell the sweat and old alcohol on his skin. Normally, that scent would have been enough to make me gag. With Ryan, though, it only served to ignite my desire.
His muscular body and strategically placed tattoos stayed burned in my mine, taunting me through the week. By the time Thursday arrived, I was more confused than ever.
In so many ways, Ryan was like family. My parents legally adopted him when we were just kids, but we didn’t grow up together. Not for long. When they kicked him out, he left without argument and never returned. I wanted to think of him as a brother, but it was impossible.
When I pictured his face, butterflies erupted in my stomach. Just the sight of his eyes locked on mine was enough to send chills cascading down my back. I couldn’t deny that I wanted him. Physically and emotionally, I wanted him. But what did that mean? How could I let myself feel such things for him?
As the clinic closed, I walked to the front desk to take my messages from Heidi. She was closing down her computer when I stepped around the corner.
“Hey, boss,” she said. “Messages are on your desk, but someone just called requesting a house call.”
“Really?” I groaned. “Okay, I’ll leave now. Can you lock up on your way out?”
Heidi nodded. “Of course.”
“Thanks,” I said. “Just text me the address.”
“Will do!” Heidi called as I walked out the front door.
House calls never bothered me. I felt that it was an important part of my job. Animals weren’t always well enough to travel, and it wasn’t right to move them simply for my convenience. Still, I’d been looking forward to a little sleep tonight.
I climbed behind my steering wheel just as Heidi texted me the address. I plugged it into my car’s navigation system without thinking and pulled out of the parking lot. As I drove through town, I realized how familiar these streets looked. When I turned into Ryan’s apartment complex, I let out a disbelieving groan. If only I had checked the address before, I would have realized it was Ryan’s apartment.
I parked and hurried to Ryan’s door, wondering what was wrong with Bob. Deep down, I worried Ryan only called to get me over here, but I refused to believe that. Despite the number of ignored phone calls over the last five days, I didn’t think Ryan would resort to something so drastic just to talk to me. There must have been something really wrong with Bob.
I knocked on his door and stood back, waiting for it to swing open. When it did, Ryan was grinning at me with a mischievous glint in his eyes.
“Seriously?” I snapped. “He’s not even sick?”
“Come inside,” Ryan said, turning to let me by.
“Where is he?” I demanded.
I looked around the room until my eyes fell on the grey blob that was Bob. He was curled up on Ryan’s couch with his eyes squeezed tightly closed. From where I stood by the front door, I could see that his breathing was normal and steady. I whirled around to face Ryan, anger bubbling inside me.
“You hungry?” Ryan asked, feigning innocence. “I made spaghetti.”
“Is this a joke to you?” I asked with exasperation. “This is my job, Ryan.”
“Which is how I knew you would come,” he said seriously. “You wouldn’t answer my phone calls, Jacqueline. I had to get you over here somehow.”
“No!” I said. “You didn’t. You could have respected the fact that I didn’t want to talk.”
“Come on,” Ryan said, rolling his eyes. “Just eat dinner with me. Please.”
My “no” was poised on the tip of my tongue, ready to fly out with venom. As I looked at Ryan’s pleading face, I couldn’t bring myself to say it. He seemed so sincere, standing in front of me with a vulnerable expression. It took a lot for him to trick me into coming over. He was showing just how much he cared, which wasn’t at all like him. I sighed and shrugged.
“Fine,” I said. “But only because I’m hungry and spaghetti sounds amazing.”
“Sit down,” Ryan said with a grin. “I’ll get you a plate.”
Looking across the room, I saw a small kitchen table was set up. I smiled to myself and walked over, sitting down slowly and eying the flowers in the center of the table.
“When did you buy this?” I asked, tapping the table with my nails.
“Monday,” Ryan said. “Bradley came by and insisted I do some shopping. He dragged me all over town. He even made me buy curtains.”
I laughed and looked at the windows. Sure enough, there were navy-blue curtains hanging from brand-new curtain rods.
“Bradley’s good like that,” I said as Ryan laid a plate of spaghetti in front of me.
He handed me a fork and then pulled up his own chair.
“He’s annoying,” Ryan said with a small laugh. “He can be such a girl sometimes.”
“Having good taste does not make him a girl,” I said sternly. “You’re just jealous that he has a better eye for home décor than you do.”
“Oh yeah,” Ryan said, laughing. “That’s right. My secret desire is to become a metrosexual just like your brother.”
I laughed. “Stop it.” I took a bite of the spaghetti. It wasn’t bad.
“He’s been bugging me about your parents,” Ryan admitted softly. When I looked at him, he didn’t meet my gaze. His eyes were focused on his plate, but he wasn’t ea
ting.
“What about them?” I asked.
“He wants me to see them,” Ryan said. “He thinks I should go by the house. Just drop by like it’s nothing.”
His laugh was dark and brought an uneasy feeling to my stomach. As I watched him, he ate his spaghetti and fell silent. I knew how hard it was for him to talk about my parents. They hadn’t been fair to him, but I could tell he missed them. It was written all over his face.
“Maybe it’s not such a bad idea,” I said, keeping my voice soft, so as not to upset him. “Bradley’s right. It might be good for you.”
“How?” he said, finally looking at me. “Don’t you remember what happened that night? They’ll never forgive me for—”
“They will,” I interrupted quickly. I didn’t think I could handle reliving that horrible night all over again. “I’m pretty sure they already have. They’ll never admit that to me, but it’s true.”
“I don’t believe that,” Ryan said. His voice was firm, but there was hope in his eyes. “Besides, it’s too late. It’s been too long.”
“It’s never too late when it comes to family,” I said.
“Now you sound like Bradley,” Ryan said, laughing.
I shrugged. “Well, he is my brother.”
“And me?” Ryan asked, his eyes locked on mine. “What am I?”
“I don’t know,” I said, sighing. “Ryan, this is all just too complicated.”
He nodded. “I know. Is that why you left so fast?”
“I had to,” I said. “I’m sorry. I should’ve explained myself, but I just freaked out.”
“I understand,” he said. “But you don’t have to be. We can keep things strictly platonic. If that’s what you want.”
“I don’t know what I want,” I admitted, my eyes flickering down to my plate and then back up to his face.
We stared at each other for a few seconds, both remembering what it felt like to be together. Our bodies fit so perfectly together. I’d never had such a connection during a sexual experience before. If I was honest, I knew I wanted him. I wanted to feel that way again, but I couldn’t admit that. Not now. Not yet.
“Stay the night,” Ryan said, his voice low and rough. “We can just sleep.”
“I can’t,” I said. “Ryan, I just can’t.”
“Okay.” He nodded, accepting my answer. The fact that he didn’t argue made my resolve weaken. Ryan so often argued, pushing me further than anyone else could. To see him just blindly accept my rejection was heart-wrenching and told me just how much he truly cared for me.
“But,” I said, clearing my throat. “Maybe we can have dinner. Tomorrow night?”
“Sure,” Ryan said, smiling. “Sounds great.”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Ryan
Dates weren’t common in my life. When I spent time with a woman, it was usually a one-night stand, and then nothing. As I stared into my closet, I couldn’t remember the last time I took a woman out. Nothing in my wardrobe seemed appropriate for a nice restaurant. I felt certain that nothing I owned would impress Jacqueline, and the thought brought my mood to an all-time low.
More than anything, I wanted tonight to go well. Jacqueline and I were just moments away from moving forward with this new relationship. I didn’t want to do anything that might screw it up.
Reaching into my closet, I grabbed a blue button-down I hoped would bring out my eyes. I paired it with a clean pair of jeans and some nice shoes. We weren’t going to a fancy restaurant, but we also weren’t going to the diner. I needed something reasonably comfortable, but attractive.
“What do you think?” I asked, holding up the outfit for Bob to see.
He was lying on my bed with his legs sprawled on either side. His eyes were focused on my face, but he didn’t make a sound. As I stared at him, I expected a meow or even a hiss. Instead, he simply blinked.
“No?” I asked. “You don’t like it? What’s wrong with it? The shirt?”
Bob continued to blink, closing his eyes slowly. I sighed and threw the clothes onto the bed beside him. He glanced at them before turning his attention back to me.
“Well, you don’t have to like them,” I said. “I’m sure Jacqueline will.”
Bob rolled over onto his back, stretching his legs in the air. With his belly exposed, he looked younger and more like a kitten. I grinned and reached over to pet him. He hadn’t been playful with me since I adopted him, and I hoped maybe he was finally warming up to me.
The second my hand touched his fur, he jumped and darted away from me. He leapt off the bed and sprinted toward my closet. When I looked over, I couldn’t see him anywhere.
“Really?” I called. “You’re hiding from me now? Justina could have mentioned you were the weirdest cat in the world before I adopted you. Bob. What kind of a name is that anyway?”
Shaking my head, I got dressed and went in the bathroom to check my appearance. My dark hair was still cut short from the SEALs, so I didn’t have to worry about that. Still, I washed my face and thought about shaving. I checked my watch and saw that I didn’t have time. I had to leave in ten minutes. Besides, I liked the way I looked with some scruff. Hopefully, Jacqueline would too.
When it was time to leave, I looked for Bob one last time. He was still hiding in my closet, but I couldn’t find him anywhere. I turned off the light and left the door open, hoping he would run out and reveal himself. He didn’t. After a few seconds, I gave up and left the room. Checking Bob’s litter box and food bowl, I saw that everything was in order. I hurried out the front door, locking it behind me.
As I walked to my truck, I was surprised by my own anxiety. I felt nervous and shaky as I climbed behind the wheel and fired up the engine. It roared to life, and I drove over to Jacqueline’s.
She didn’t live far from my apartment, but it felt like a different world. Jacqueline’s complex was much nicer than mine. Decked out in the latest architectural designs and models, it took my breath away when I first pulled up. There was a gate blocking my entry, so I pushed the button for Jacqueline’s apartment and waited.
“Hey!” her voice rang out. “Ryan?”
“Yeah, it’s me,” I said.
“Buzzing you in,” she said.
There was a sharp beep, and then the gate swung forward. I pulled into the parking lot and found Jacqueline’s apartment. She lived on the second floor of the first building. Even from the outside, I knew her place was huge.
“Hi,” I said when she answered the door. “You ready?”
She smiled. “Yup. All set.”
Jacqueline stepped outside and turned to lock her door. In that moment, I scanned her body. She was wearing a gorgeous purple blouse and a tight pair of jeans. The heels on her feet made her butt look even perkier than normal. When she turned around, I cleared my throat and pretended I wasn’t checking her out.
“So,” she said. “Where are we going?”
“There’s this little Italian place downtown,” I said as we climbed in my truck. “La Nona, or something like that. Have you heard of it?”
“I have,” Jacqueline said with a nod. “But I haven’t been yet.”
“Perfect,” I said, grinning. “I like your hair down, by the way.”
“What?” she asked.
“I meant to say that when you first came outside,” I said. “I like it down. It’s pretty.”
“Thank you,” Jacqueline said, blushing slightly. She reached up to touch her blonde curls self-consciously.
When we arrived at La Nona, I parked and hurried around to open Jacqueline’s door. She seemed surprised, but she smiled as I helped her climb down. We were silent as we walked up to the restaurant and the hostess seated us.
It was a Friday night, so I expected the place to be busy, but it wasn’t. We were seated right away at a quaint table near the back. No one was around us. There were a few other people in the restaurant, but we could barely see them from where we sat. Candles flickered on every table, and I immediately k
new La Nona was a great choice. This place was perfect.
“Can I admit something?” Jacqueline asked after we ordered our food.
I shrugged. “Sure.”
“I was nervous about tonight,” she said.
I laughed. “Me too.”
“Really?” she asked, sighing with relief. “Good, it wasn’t just me then.”
“No.” I shook my head. “I was practically shaking the entire way to your apartment.”
“It’s silly, isn’t it?” she asked. “We’ve known each other forever. Why would we be nervous?”
“Because this makes it real,” I said softly. “It’s a date.”
“Is it?” Jacqueline asked with raised eyebrows.
“Isn’t it?” I asked.
“I don’t know,” she said, sighing. “God Ryan, this is all so complicated.”
“It doesn’t have to be,” I said.
“Doesn’t it?” she argued. “I mean, what would we tell Bradley? Or my parents?”
“Nothing yet,” I said honestly. “Listen, I like you. I don’t know how it happened or why, but the second I saw you standing on my doorstep, I was immediately attracted to you. You and me. There’s something here.”
“There is,” Jacqueline said, her eyes flickering up to meet mine. We looked at each other across the table, and I felt my stomach tighten with desire.
“Then let’s just see what happens,” I suggested. “We don’t have to worry about everyone else’s reactions just yet. I think we should enjoy whatever it is we’re doing. At least, for a little while.”
Jacqueline’s smile was timid, but it made her entire face light up. I grinned and reached over to take her hand. She played with my fingers while we waited for our food and fell into an easy conversation. We talked about her clinic and her friends, she told me stories from her time in college, and I told her some from my time in the SEALs.
Talking to Jacqueline was comfortable and simple. She made me laugh and made me think. Her wit was sharp, and it kept me interested throughout the entire conversation. With most women, I would have already been bored, but with Jacqueline, I couldn’t get enough. I wanted to sit there and talk to her all night.