“It’s a thought,” Lanie said. “We can meet so you won’t be by yourself. In case Kia is there, too. And in case you feel the need to speak up, you’ll have the chance.”
“I won’t.”
“But still.”
I smiled. “So Mr. Bailey. He’s supposed to be psychic or something.”
Lanie tilted her head. “Really?”
“Yeah,” I said. “Sully’s dad knew him. When Sully and I were… dating…” My tongue tripped on the word. Was three weeks dating? Sounded lame now, but it sure felt like the moon and the sun at the time. “He told me that his dad was a big believer in that stuff, and was a stickler about only hiring the real thing for the carnival attractions. He’d rather pay for the real thing than have the fakes that other companies did. And somehow through the years he met Old Man Bailey and they got to be friends.”
“So you think that’s why he sold to Sully?” Lanie asked.
“Bigger question—two, actually,” I said, sitting up as the curiosity bounced around in my veins. “Is what is Larry doing?” I held up a finger. “I mean, is he moving it? To where? Or selling it? And why the hell hasn’t he said anything? And how the hell do I bring this up with my mother?”
“All those go with one finger?” Nick asked.
I slid him a look. “Yes.”
“Keep up, babe,” Lanie said, winking at him.
“And two,” I said, holding up the second for Nick. “Is…” My throat closed on the question. I shouldn’t care. But it was there. “Why would someone who had the world at their disposal and freedom to go wherever he chose want to move to Charmed, Texas and plant rosebushes?”
Lanie lifted an eyebrow. “He bought?”
“Leasing to own.”
“With her?”
My heart fluttered. “It appears so.”
“Hmm,” she said, eyeing me. “Let’s focus on that one.”
I sighed. “I figured you would.”
“First, counselor, why is it important?” she asked. Boom.
“Oh, we’re playing that, are we?”
“Karma’s a bitch, isn’t it?” she asked, grinning.
“Am I missing something?” Nick asked.
I chuckled. “More than you know. Okay. Let’s go.” I cracked my knuckles. “Why is it important?” I echoed. “Because…because…it feels like something is off. Like… who is this person? The guy I fell in love with a hundred years ago was this vibrant rebel with a drive to see the world. Like me,” I added as my heart pounded harder. “How do I reconcile that person with this businessman setting up utility bills for a house on Maple Street?”
“I’m not going to ask how you know he lives on Maple Street,” Lanie said.
Busted. “That’s a good plan.”
“But Carmen, people change,” she said. “The guy you fell for was a twenty-year-old travelling carnie. He’s thirty-five now and just lost his dad. A dad he saw do nothing but run a carnival his whole life. Probably never had a house. He’s probably checking his own mortality and figuring if he’s going to change his course, he needs to do it now.”
“But—”
“But you feel let down, because even though he hurt you and you swore never to feel that again, in your heart you preserved him as that wild soul that got away,” Lanie said.
I stared at her. “Yes.”
“And now he’s back, but he’s normal and not wild, playing house with flexi-girl, and you feel betrayed again,” she said.
“Shit.” She was good at this. Too good.
“So now we’re back to my original question, counselor,” Lanie said. “Why does it matter? Why is Sully Hart even on your radar after what he did?”
“And I have one,” Nick said, raising his hand.
“You don’t have to raise your hand, honey,” Lanie said.
“I didn’t know the rules,” he said.
“Proceed,” I said, still reeling from Lanie’s questions. I wanted to put my head between my legs and do some counted breathing.
“Back in the day,” Nick said. “You said he was this vibrant… something or other.”
“Rebel,” Lanie and I said in unison.
He pointed at me. “So, my question is… did you fall for the guy or the lifestyle?”
I blinked. “What?”
Nick shrugged. “Was it what he did or who he was that grabbed you?” he asked. “Because we all grow up. We change what we do. But whether he’s travelling the country or planting bushes, he’s the same guy.”
“Who left her without a word, without a note, and just vanished into thin air,” Lanie said.
“Okay,” Nick said, looking back at me like he was waiting for something. “And?”
I raised my eyebrows. “And what?”
“Have you asked him why?”
Chapter Six
The sky looked ominous. Was that a sign that I should turn around and go home? Get the hell out of the very spot where I hit rock bottom? I pulled into the school parking lot the same time Lanie did. The big black Chevy wasn’t there. The irony hit me like a wrecking ball to the groin. If that metaphor works.
Sully left me in that very parking lot. Two, actually, if you count the other one I then drove halfway across the state to stand in alone—again. This one had history, though. Our first kiss was behind the concession stand, forever linking lust to the smell of hot dogs and pretzels. Our first time was under the bleachers in the pouring rain, leaning against a beam with my leg wrapped around his waist and him slow-driving me till we both cried out into the thunder, our limbs shaking with exertion.
I’d changed my top four times before I left, settling on a red V-neck mid-sleeve shirt that always made my boobs look good, with just the tiniest peek of creamy cleavage. Not that I remembered how he was a die-hard boob man and couldn’t keep his hands off mine. Because that would be teasing and messing with things that shouldn’t be messed with.
Dear God, I was a head-case.
He would be here. I wondered if those memories would cross his mind when he drove up, or if guys even did that whole tortured memory-lane thing. I knew Dean did. He remembered far more than any woman I knew, and would bring up the smallest detail if it helped him win an argument.
I got out and fell into step beside Lanie as we approached the gymnasium doors.
“You okay?” she asked.
“Yeah.”
“You’re wearing your good boob shirt,” she pointed out.
“Am I?” I said, feigning ignorance as I looked down. “Huh.”
“Yeah,” she said, laughing as she looped an arm through mine. “You are.”
Have you asked him why?
I’d been thinking about Nick’s question all day. No, I hadn’t asked. Why not? Because maybe I didn’t want to know. Or maybe part of me thought I shouldn’t have to ask. Maybe he should know he owed me an explanation.
Or maybe I was just a big chicken shit wanting to keep my head in the sand rather than learn the truth.
When we walked into the gym, there were a whopping four people sitting in the bleachers, spread out so they didn’t have to talk to each other. Not really the crowd I was hoping to make an impression on in one fell swoop.
“I hope this thing is quick,” I said. “Before Armageddon hits out there.”
“Radar said we have about an hour,” Lanie said, peering out the open door. “According to Nick, who checks it religiously every day.”
“Why?”
“It evidently tells him whether customers are going to venture out,” she said. “So he’s become the rain whisperer. Where do you want to sit?”
I gave her a look as we stood in front of nearly empty bleachers. “I think we pretty much have the run,” I said. “It’s ridiculous that he books the gym for this, like the whole town is going to come out in droves. They could have used the Blue Banana.”
“True. Then we could at least eat.”
“And have coffee.”
“And dessert,” she said. �
�Although Nick’s cooking us a romantic dinner tonight with some kind of flaming dessert, so I’ll stay hungry.”
“I wanted to sit in the back,” I said, my already limited patience with this event wearing thin. I looked around. “There is no back. Just up. God, I hated coming in here for pep rallies.”
“The back wouldn’t matter,” Lanie said, walking up two steps and plopping down. “Do you really think neither of them would notice you?”
“Them?” I said, staring down at her. Yes, I was there to prove a point to people about both of them, but that was me. I wanted past the Carmen and the Carnie jokes I’d heard for the past decade. They—as in my ex and my whatever-the-hell-he-was—were not here for me. They had their own agendas. “There is no them, Lanie. Hell, there is no one. There’s nothing. They aren’t here about me.”
“No, but their common denominator is you,” she said. “As soon as they see each other, they’ll look for you, and so will everyone else. Then you will have your moment to show how stupid they all are.”
“Is this a pep talk?” I asked, starting to sweat. “God, this was a bad idea. I’m leaving.” I turned to hightail it out of there before someone pulled out a megaphone. Or before Sully arrived, taking all my good sense.
“Ladies, I’m glad you could make it,” Dean’s voice echoed through the room as he walked up. He was smiling, a definite improvement over the sulking. “There’s coffee on that table over there.”
“Thank God,” I muttered. “Is there rum, too?”
“I should have put BYOB on the invite,” Dean said, smirking at me.
Hmm. He was trying to make nice. Joke. Be a normal person. Interesting tactic. Not enough to keep me there, though. My palms itched at the thought of Sully being there, schmoozing the crowd, talking to people, being part of the town the way he had the other day.
Was that it? Was I jealous about sharing him with everyone when he’d always just been mine?
That was a sobering thought.
“Might have gotten better attendance,” I said, glancing around. “What’s the real point of this meeting, Dean? Doesn’t everyone already know about this? From what I’ve heard, Sully’s had a mock-up over at the library for a while.”
“I want people to be able to speak their mind,” Dean said, smiling at old Miss Mavis, who had probably just come in to get off her tricycle before the rain hit. “Say their piece if they haven’t had a chance. Tell Hart what they think of this whole thing. It affects everyone.”
He had on his politician face, which meant there was no talking logic with him.
“Whatever,” I said. “I’m not staying. Good luck tonight.” I pointed as more people filed in. They were all business owners. Of course, they would be the only ones who cared about this shit. “Look, it’s getting better.”
“Carmen, come on,” he begged. “You need to stay and be a part of things.”
Geez. It was like being married to the man again.
“I have been a part of things.”
“You haven’t been back to the build.”
“The… build?” I asked. “That’s what it’s called now?”
“Was it too much to be out there with him?” Dean asked, looking wounded.
Just shoot me. “I’ve just been busy,” I said. “And tonight—I wasn’t thinking. I came with Lanie but I… have a thing I need to do. Prepare for tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow’s Saturday.”
“It’ll take all weekend,” I lied. “And the weather’s about to get nasty, so…”
Go. Just go.
I went. Waving quickly at Lanie, I turned to head out the door before anyone else could stop me.
Sully walked in.
Oh, fuck balls.
We both stopped, and my insides went fifteen degrees warmer. A gray-and-navy pullover shirt clung to him like paint, over worn soft-looking jeans and his leather work boots. His hair—that’s where my jaw dropped. Dear God, he’d cut his hair. He’d never cut his hair. I mean, he wasn’t Samson, but he loved it long. But there it was—not short-short; it still swung a little in the front, but it was definitely above-the-collar respectable, and sweet Jesus it was even sexier than before.
No, it wasn’t about sharing him. That was abundantly clear by the vise that gripped my chest as his gaze soaked me in. It was about sharing air with him. With the only man that ever broke me.
Have you asked him why?
I didn’t speak. I just turned around and walked back in, straight to Lanie, and sat down.
“You’re gray, Carmen,” Lanie said. “You need to breathe. Look, there’s your mom.”
She pointed toward the door, where my mother walked in with Larry, and waved. Larry. My head pounded with yet another rush of adrenaline, but it wasn’t the time. Not in front of her.
I cleared my throat of the gravel. “I’m fine,” I said. All my muscles felt like they had gone on strike. Keep it together. You aren’t eighteen anymore.
“Sully cut his hair,” she said.
“Sully cut his hair,” I echoed.
“It looks good,” she said. “Wow. He’s… he’s grown up well.”
I laced my fingers together and watched him walk across the gym floor, shaking a few hands and looking totally at ease in his skin. My skin wasn’t easy at all. My skin was staging a coup.
“Yeah.”
* * *
The weather knew what it was doing. From the moment Sullivan Hart introduced himself, every tense sentence, every ridiculous question clearly preplanned and planted by Dean, was punctuated with increasingly closer rumbles of thunder. Then the rain hit, banging off the metal gym roof at a deafening level. At that point, everyone slumped and relaxed into it. No point hurrying anything along when we were all obviously stuck there.
Sully held his own. Answered everything with that calm and soothing tone of his that drove me mad, but at least I could just sit back and watch him talk and move in relative anonymity. He wasn’t talking to me, so I didn’t have to focus on breathing or comebacks or body language or hiding my reactions.
Except maybe from Lanie, who kept sliding me looks every time he’d laugh or say something charming. Which was a lot. He was winning over the crowd—mostly. With the exception of Dean, whose dark cloud rivaled any outside, and a handful of his groupies. And my mother, whose glare could be seen in Canada.
And then it got fun.
Mom stood up during a lull, and I felt the impending doom crash over me like a wave.
“Shit,” I mouthed.
“I think we all know you aren’t new to Charmed,” my mother said, crossing her arms.
“Oh, no,” I said under my breath.
Lanie clapped a hand down on my knee.
Sully looked at my mother with a weird expression on his face. Not weird in the sense that I was just freaking out and probably holding my breath and getting lightheaded kind of weird, but in a familiar I know you and don’t like you kind of weird. I didn’t have time to think that out.
“No ma’am,” he said. “I’ve come here every summer for many years.”
“Ruining my daughter in the process,” she said.
“Make it stop,” I whispered.
“Stole the mayor’s wife,” someone said over to the far right, causing snickers.
“Excuse me?” I said, the words coming out of my mouth before I could stop them. Somebody said to be quiet and I think that was in my head, but—
“No, she was still underage,” someone else said. “And he was a dirty carnie back then, not all glossy like he is now. What do you expect?”
“Hey!” Lanie stood up like she was someone to be reckoned with. “You don’t know what you’re talking about, and that’s my friend you’re bad-mouthing.”
“Like you’re any better,” a buxom redhead said, standing to turn and face her. It was Katrina Bowman, Lanie’s very slutty neighbor who’d put the moves on Nick when they first came to town. “You made up a husband just to screw everyone over.”
Everyone started talking at once. Lanie climbed over people like a redneck monkey to get to Katrina. A big guy grabbed her before she could get her hands in that red hair. The ruckus was loud, the rain was louder, and Sully and my mother stood in absolute silence staring each other down.
I stood up.
“Excuse me!” I yelled. I put a finger and thumb in my mouth and let loose a piercing whistle, bringing an end to everything but the downpour on the tin. Dean turned his back as if he were embarrassed, but Sully’s angry eyes rose to me. “For the record, you nosy assholes, I’m right here! I was not underage, nor was I married, nor was I even dating Dean Crestwell back then.” Dean whirled around. “I was single. Nobody stole anyone. No one cheated on anyone.” I glared at my mom. “Nobody ruined anyone. You’ve all dated people and broke up, right? There ya go. Sully Hart and I had a relationship, and then we didn’t.” I felt the burn behind my eyes as my volume went up. I couldn’t stop. I’d had enough. For fifteen years, I’d had enough. “Then Dean and I got married after college, and now we’re divorced. End of story. Not that any of it is anyone’s fucking business, but I’m fucking tired of the comments!” I was breathing hard and something inside me was ringing warning bells and saying the trailer-park chick in me was rearing her ugly head, but I couldn’t shut up. “I did nothing to your perfect mayor and if he’d be a man and grow a damn pair, he’d say that, too. Get a life!”
A flash of lightning hit something close, sounding like an explosion, and the lights went out. Shrieks filled the room.
I sank onto the bleacher seat and let the darkness absorb me as chaos took off like drunk ants in an anthill. Cell phone lights bounced around the room. People who had complained about the rain were suddenly willing to brave gale force winds to get to their cars. To get away from the crazy lady shouting obscenities. Dean got on his phone and left, schmoozing with whomever commented to him. Larry whisked my mother out the door, probably afraid of what I might say or do next, but the truth was I had no idea.
I sat in stunned silence as Lanie pulled herself together and sat next to me. Sully quietly thanked people for coming by.
Lucky Charmed Page 7