“She’s here for my waffles, woman,” he said gruffly, but with a twinkle.
“What day are we on?” she asked.
I laughed. “Evidently five.”
“She says that customers will swarm here if they knew how good we were,” J.T. said.
Kat chuckled as she filled my cup and put the creamer in front of me. “And where will we put these swarms?” she said. “On the roof?”
J.T. laughed heartily at his wife’s unknowing echo and glanced at me. “And that, young lady, is why she’s my soulmate.”
I smiled and stirred creamer into my coffee as the two of them laughed and fussed and worked, and he swatted her behind with a towel. That was how it should be. That was what real-life love was about. Putting in the time, and knowing someone so well that your thoughts mingle.
“So I have a question I’ve been wanting to ask you,” J.T. said a few minutes later, as he put down a plate of waffles and blueberries, along with a bowl of fresh butter and a steaming carafe of maple syrup.
“Why’s a single woman like me traveling alone?” I said. I was getting accustomed to the question.
J.T. wiped his face on the sleeve of his worn-out plaid shirt, his dark eyes peering down at me. “Well, I was going to ask how you could stand to eat waffles every day, but sure, we can go with yours.”
I nearly choked on my coffee.
“Good one.”
“I still have it occasionally,” he said with a grin. He grabbed a dispenser of honey and set that next to the syrup. “In case you like that. I can’t stand it, but a lot of people like it.”
“Me either,” I said. “Nasty stuff.”
“So I’m a stranger and you don’t have to tell me, but you sure look lonely and I know a little bit about that. You okay?”
Wow. This guy was good.
“I… just always wanted to see more than the small town I’ve lived my whole life in,” I said, trying to keep it at that and knowing instinctively that we’d already passed it.
“What do you do for a living?” he asked.
“I’m a lawyer.”
His eyes widened with appreciation, as most people’s usually did at my profession.
“That’s not as glamorous as you might think.”
“What I might think is that you’re bored and antsy and looking for something you won’t find driving for miles on end.” He knocked his knuckles on the counter.
I paused in the middle of pouring the syrup. That was a little close to the vest. Something that sounded immensely personal on his end, too.
“Do tell,” I said finally, finishing my pour. Because a breakfast this perfect wasn’t going to be spoiled with life’s little dramas.
“I’m just saying I’ve been where you are,” he said. “Thinking I was missing something. Needing the next thing, the next place, the next person. Thinking that everything was stagnant and claustrophobic and all would just make more sense and line up if I could just keep moving and breathe different air.”
Goosebumps covered my body. It was like talking to my own brain.
“And?” I asked.
He shrugged and looked around. “Air is air. None of it is any sweeter than the place before it. And even if it were, who’s there to tell?”
Who’s there to tell?
I thanked God every day that you didn’t have to live like that.
It was like a kick to the gut.
I forked a mouthful of waffle and blueberries and shoveled it in, wanting to get lost in the wonder of the food and not in the thought process that J.T. had started.
“I’m just talking about me now,” J.T. said, holding up a hand. “I don’t know your story. But I crossed this country on a motorcycle once, thinking I was so worldly. And I found out that seeing the world alone didn’t make me worldly. It just made me alone. The day my life started making sense was the day I met Kat.”
I smiled. “She was perfect for you?”
“God, no,” he said. “She drove me insane. Pissed me off every other day. We were like oil and water.” He leaned forward. “And I knew I couldn’t breathe another day without her.” He winked and walked back to his bowl of waffle batter. “You find that, Five. You find the one that makes you want to beat your head against a wall every day and wake up looking forward to doing it again—” He pointed a finger my way without looking up. “And all that itchy blood of yours will settle right down and be happy making waffles for wandering strangers for the rest of your life.”
I ate the rest, not really tasting it but not willing to waste what he’d made for me. My hands shook, my feet were numb, and for the first time that I could remember, I had perfect clarity. It’s overwhelming when you realize at thirty-three years old that your whole life’s plan had been wrong.
When Kat laid the check in front of me, I laid a fifty on it, and then my hand on hers when she reached for it.
“I don’t need change,” I said.
Her eyes widened. “Sweetheart, I know he’s a good cook, but that’s a bit overkill for a tip.”
I laughed. “It’s not for that. It’s just—I just want to,” I said. “Go out and do something special with your guy with it.”
Her pretty blue eyes went all soft. “You are a blessing, you know that? Will we see you again tomorrow?”
I narrowed my eyes, swallowing against the words that were about to shock the hell out of me. “I don’t think so,” I said. “I think I’m leaving today.”
“Well, you’ve been a joy and a boost to his ego, that’s for sure,” she said, looking behind her. “John, did you hear? She’s about to leave us.”
I froze. “Your name is John?”
He laughed as he closed the waffle iron and walked over. “Well, my mother didn’t name me with initials.”
Lots of men in the world were named John. Who hated honey. And rode motorcycles across the country with the same wanderlust that I had. With dark eyes like mine. Like I’d seen in—
No. That was ridiculous.
“This is a nutso question,” I said. “But did you ever ride through Texas on that motorcycle back then?”
He nodded slowly. “I did. I rode through pretty much everything.”
My stomach fluttered like a million butterflies. Silly, so silly. Don’t ask it.
“Charmed, Texas?” My voice had a weird lilt.
Did I imagine the pause? The quick blink? The flash of recognition? Yes. Yes I did. Because I’d had a sentimental moment with a man who was the right age, and now I was a sentimental fool, seeing things just because I wanted to, with odds being about ten million to one.
Finally he shook his head.
“I don’t think so,” he said. “But that was a long, long time ago. I went through so many towns, I don’t remember them all.”
I nodded.
See? Not him.
Good lord, Carmen.
“Just a thought I had,” I said. “Anyway, yes, I’m leaving, but thank you. For everything.”
“More adventure ahead?” he asked, the grin back in his eyes.
I took a deep breath, unable to believe what I was about to say.
“Only what I hit up on the way back,” I said. “I think I’m going home.”
The look on his face was nothing short of proud. “Something special there?” he asked, draping an arm over Kat’s shoulders.
I chuckled and shook my head. “Something infuriatingly head-banging.”
His grin got so big it almost outgrew his face. “Good luck with that.”
“Is there a secret language you two want to let me in on?” Kat said, looking back and forth between us.
He laughed and kissed her head. “Just an old wanderer giving a new one some tips,” he said. “Be careful, Five. Drive safe.”
“Carmen,” I said, smiling. “My numbered days are over.”
I walked out, got in my car, and drove past the big window. He stood at the counter, watching me drive away. J.T., John, whoever. Whether he was thinking of his old
wanderlust days that a stranger reminded him of, or thinking how he helped a woman get her head straight, or possibly thinking about the fact that a teenaged fling back in a Texas town named Charmed might have produced a daughter he’d just fed for five days… It didn’t matter. Weirdly, it just didn’t. I glanced back at the jean jacket lying across my backseat.
Whoever he was, he’d given me exactly what I needed. And Bailey had been right, too. There was never a choice. For once, I had a destination and a plan. I knew exactly where I was going.
Chapter Seventeen
My nerves were everywhere: in my stomach, my fingers, my ears, shooting fireworks like never before. I’d never been anxious about returning to my own damn town, but this was intense. I’d been gone almost a month to the day. A month. The time had flown. I was busy and doing and seeing different things every day. Then I fell in love with a certain little diner, and time finally slowed down enough to let it catch up to me.
Driving through Charmed, I noticed nothing had changed. No projects had sped forward in my absence, or fallen apart without me. I thought everyone had known about my leaving, but no one looked surprised to see me driving around.
The universe had served me a giant slice of humble pie. I wasn’t nearly as important as I thought I was.
I needed to go by Mom’s. Lanie’s. My house. I hadn’t told anyone I was coming back—
I wanted to surprise them. But that was secondary to whom I needed to see first. Whom I needed to see and touch and look in the eye and tell that there was never really a choice; it just took me a minute.
My fingers had started itching as soon as I saw the “World Famous Honey” welcome sign. My mouth went dry, and my breathing sped up. I couldn’t wait to see his face again. Once I knew I was coming home and would look into those gorgeous eyes again, it was all I could think about. Everything my best friend had told me not to do—the falling and getting lost and all that—I’d done in spades, sometimes twice, and wearing glitter.
“You told the man you loved him,” I said out loud as I scanned the parking lots for a certain black truck. “What on earth made you think you could run away from that?”
I turned off of Main and headed toward Maple. I needed me some 523 Maple in a big way. In the form of a big hunky man with hazel eyes and a smile that could take me down. I could barely breathe as I turned onto his street, my hands shaking so badly I had to grip the wheel tighter. And then the wicked blow of disappointment sucked everything out of me like a giant vacuum cleaner. It wasn’t there. His truck wasn’t there.
Damn it.
Plan B was the trailer, but I was really hoping for a one-on-one conversation. No townspeople working, no Kia lingering, just me and Sully. I could barely control myself where Sully was concerned, and I was tired of embarrassing myself in front of whole town. And if Sully wasn’t as excited to see me… yeah, I didn’t want any witnesses for that, either. Charmed had witnessed enough humiliating moments of mine, thanks.
But that’s why they call it Plan B.
So be it.
But first, I stopped by my house to shake off the nerves and use the bathroom. The stifling heat nearly knocked me out. I’d have to cool off back in my air-conditioned car. The first order of back-to-Charmed business was to get the power turned back on, but it was a Friday. Nothing would happen till Monday. Sully needed to be so happy to see me that I’d have a place to stay. Otherwise I’d die in a large Easy Bake Oven.
Surely he’ll be happy, right?
All the way back across four states, I’d assumed he would be. I could see the look on his face as plain as day, happy and relieved and ecstatic and wanting to sweep me off my feet and begin our life together. Now that I was here, I realized I might have been channeling a little Officer and a Gentleman. Doubts bubbled up, making me second-guess my grand return.
Yes, I’d told him I loved him. And then drove away.
I took a deep breath at a red light. “How big a moron could I possibly be?” I whispered.
I didn’t need to answer that, because he’d probably answer it for me. He was going to stand there looking at me like I’d lost my damn mind, and then proceed to tell me I truly did. Then he would point in the direction of the road, not the pond, because I would be banned from the pond as unworthy, and told to get back in my car and keep driving. He would suggest I go north this time. Like maybe to Canada. Or the Arctic Circle.
I paused at the turn into the parking lot. Was I ready for that possibility? Could I take it if he turned on me with the same anger and hurt pride that I’d had for him? Was I back for him, or for myself?
The driver behind me leaned on his horn. I pulled up my big girl panties and turned in just past the trees.
No black truck.
“Are you friggin’ kidding me?”
No trucks at all. Lots of cars and SUV’s; people beginning work on a new structure. It had to be the gazebo. But no Sully.
I slammed my hands on the steering wheel. My sails were seriously deflated. Concave and sucking wind. Yes, it was on me because I didn’t call anyone, but still… can’t a girl surprise someone?
Glancing around, I didn’t see my mom’s little Toyota, so I parked and got out. I wanted that reunion to be one-on-one, too. Walking nonchalantly past the worker bees, hoping no one noticed me, I knocked on the trailer door.
Kia opened it, blinking in surprise. “Hello.”
“Hi,” I said. “Sorry to bother you. Do you know where Sully is?”
“Where he—” Surprised, she stepped back. “Wow, he wasn’t kidding.”
“He—kidding?”
Kia licked her lips and pushed the door all the way open. “Come in.”
I followed her in, confused. “So—”
“Hey, Carmen,” said Bash. He stood up from the trailer’s small couch, raking his fingers through his hair.
“Um… Bash,” I said, raising an eyebrow.
He raised his in a snarky response, then winked and grinned as he scooted past Kia, giving her the once-over.
“See y’all later,” he said, pushing open the door and leaving.
Kia looked at me.
“Okay then,” I said. “Sorry if I—”
“Want a water?” she asked, pulling open a small fridge.
I nodded. We weren’t going to be girlfriends. Cool; I could respect that.
“Yes, actually, that would be great,” I said. She handed a bottle to me. “Thank you.” I took a long swig. “So—”
“To be honest, I thought he was with you,” she said.
I coughed and cleared my throat.
“Excuse me?”
“Sully left two weeks ago.”
* * *
It was a grounding moment. Literally grounding, as I felt every ounce of blood, energy, and thought go straight to my feet.
“He—” I shook my head. “What… what do you mean, he left?”
Kia nodded and sat on a table, pulling up her legs and crossing them into each other without using her hands. I would have fallen off the damn table. As it was, I was close to falling down anyway.
“He said he had some things to do with his brother,” she said casually. “He put a few people in charge of construction and took off.”
“To—with his brother?” I asked, my voice a little too loud. I cleared my throat again. “Sorry. Do you know where?”
“Not a clue,” she said. “His phone is turned off and I cut ties with all of those people. I don’t have numbers anymore.”
I stared at her as if my gaze could make her cough up the answers I needed. It didn’t make sense.
“Sully despises his brother.”
She raised her right eyebrow. “I’m aware.”
I shook my head and hands free of the stupid.
“Oh God,” I said, covering my face for a minute to get it together, then crossing my arms. “I’m sorry; I know you do. I just mean—why would he go there?”
“I don’t know,” she said, shrugging. “To be honest,
I didn’t believe him. I thought he was just saying that, and had gone to find you.”
Blink. Goosebumps. Blink. Find me? Would he… would he do that?
“Why?” I asked.
Kia looked at me like I was an idiot. That wasn’t exactly news to me. “Because drama and angst are the only things that seem to kick either of you in the ass.”
“You have a point.” I put my hands on my head, trying to make sense of everything.
Shit. What if Sully did go looking for me? Although that would be ludicrous, right? I didn’t even know where I was going; how would he know where to look? No. He had to have done what he said he was doing. Gone to see his brother, for some insane reason.
“Well, he’s not with me,” I said, closing my eyes. “So he’s—” My eyes popped open. “This project’s still on, right?” I asked. “Nothing has changed? Or been cancelled?”
She laughed. “Yes, it’s still on. He does have to come back at some point.”
I rolled back my shoulders, getting rid of the tension.
“Unless he delegates it to someone else,” Kia continued. “Construction isn’t for another month.”
Unrelaxed.
“He wouldn’t do that, would he?” I asked. “I mean, he would—this is his baby. He would want to take charge of it, right?”
Kia tilted her head and pulled her knee into a position my body would never tolerate.
“Aren’t you a big-shot attorney?” she asked.
Where did that come from?
“Attorney, yes,” I said, picking up a stray folder to fan my suddenly flushed self. “Big shot, no. Why?”
“Because you never struck me as the weepy, go-limp-over-a-guy type,” she said. “I thought you were tougher.”
Hang on. Did she just—
I stopped fanning.
“Excuse me?”
She pointed at me, clearly missing my tone that communicated she’d been insulting and needed to dial it back. “Look at you. You’re about to collapse into a puddle on the floor—”
“I am not.”
“Over Sully not being here waiting for you.” She leaned forward. “You left him.”
“I know that,” I said, feeling my hackles rise up. Whatever the hell hackles were. “I was there. There wasn’t a fight, no sneaking off, we—we had—we said what we needed to say.”
Lucky Charmed Page 17