For them, it had been worth the risk.
Would Tristan ever let himself love or be loved?
If he had pondered the question two days ago, he would have answered absolutely not but his passionate encounter with Tori had changed him. Although he wasn’t ready to love, he found himself entertaining the notion of what if, a game he hadn’t allowed himself to play in a very long time.
What if he loved Victoria and she loved him in return? The surge of longing that swelled within Tristan’s veins when he considered the mere possibility encouraged him to hope that it was indeed possible.
Hope … once he allowed that simple emotion to take root, Tristan realized that he wanted Victoria to love him more than anything else in the world.
“I feel like I am climbing upon a rickety limb, Gwen – high in the air with a long fall to earth. Like when we were kids and I fell from that tree and broke my leg,” he whispered to his sister, pressing his chin against her knuckles. “What happens if my heart breaks? Who will be there to pick up the pieces if not you?”
He searched for an answer, for some motion or sign that his sister was awakening from her unconscious state. Though none presented itself, the repetitive tick-tock of the crystal clock on the mantel measured time passing.
Gwen was still breathing.
He counted the minutes in silence.
One minute then another. And another. His sister was still alive. With each minute that passed, Tristan clung to the possibility that his sister would awaken.
She must.
* * *
Tristan heard the faint click of the doorknob sometime around sunrise. He turned, expecting to see Sebastian. Instead, Victoria’s pale face peered into the room. Her eyes widened the instant they locked with his. She then squared her shoulders before taking a step backwards.
“I’m sorry to disturb you. I shall return later,” the words tumbled from her lips so quickly that his exhausted brain almost failed process them. Tori had already disappeared into the hallway before he could respond.
Tristan gently placed his sister’s hand on the bed before rising to his feet and running into the hallway. By then, Victoria was already halfway down the long corridor.
“Wait,” he called and he could have sworn that she hastened her pace. “Victoria!”
She must have noted his change in tone for she halted in mid-step, though Tori refused to turn and face him.
He reached for her arm, “Victoria?”
After a long pause, she turned towards him and his heart lodged in his throat. Her eyes were puffy, as if she’d been crying, and her face was pale, as if she hadn’t slept at all.
“You should return to your sister. She is more important than anything we need to discuss.”
“If not now, when?” he asked.
Victoria avoided his gaze, choosing instead to study the Oriental carpet beneath her feet. Sometime between entering her suite last night and dawn, she had decided that she would shed no more tears for Tristan MacAlistair. No, she was strong and refused to show him much he affected her.
I will never love you.
Though his words wounded her, Victoria would hide her disappointment and humiliation.
She would pretend that their intimacy didn’t matter.
Victoria straightened, donning a haughty demeanor like a costume. She was playing pretend, after all and Victoria excelled at feigning self-confidence. “Tristan, there is nothing to discuss. We comforted each other during a difficult time. We were facing a life without Gwen and took solace in one another. Losing your sister is still a possibility. We must waste no more time on what occurred between us when Gwen requires our undivided attention.”
Though her voice managed to sound strong and confident her hands trembled causing her to clasp them together in the hopes that Tristan wouldn’t notice.
His intense scrutiny was relentless. Victoria was convinced that Tristan discerned how deeply she was affected by him and abhorred herself for displaying such a weakness.
A commotion erupted downstairs and Victoria turned to find Colin bounding up the stairs two at a time.
“I returned as soon as I received word,” he explained as Victoria hugged her half-brother. “Eve and I had already left for London.”
Victoria hadn’t known Colin was her half-brother until recently. He was the same man who stole Tristan’s betrothed. Both considered him to be their brother, born from a tryst between Tori’s father and Tristan’s mother. Their families were forever linked, in too many ways to count. It was one of the reasons why Victoria thought she and Tristan were fated to fall in love.
She had been sorely mistaken.
Though tears threatened to pool in her eyes, Victoria refused to allow it. Not now, not in front of Tristan.
Never in front of Tristan.
Colin studied her, concern clouding his indigo eyes. He turned to Tristan. “You both look like you haven’t gotten much sleep.”
Victoria’s pulse quickened, anxiety creeping over her flesh, leaving her skin to prickle in response.
“It was a long night,” Tristan replied, his tone calm.
The question didn’t unnerve him, she realized. Then again, why would it? It wasn’t his first time. She had been one of many. The reminder scorched her heart until she thought it would disintegrate into ashes.
Tristan glanced at her for a brief moment then suggested to Colin, “Why don’t you spend some time with Gwen. I must get cleaned up.”
Colin turned towards Victoria. “Walk with me?”
Nodding, Victoria guided her brother to Gwen’s suite.
“What did I interrupt?” Colin whispered to her.
Victoria plastered on the first of what she was certain would be many feigned smiles over the course of her life. She then lied, “You didn’t interrupt anything.”
They reached Gwen’s door and Colin stopped short, glancing behind him to make sure no one was in earshot. Tristan, Victoria noted, was already gone.
“You are not fooling me, Tori,” Colin chided. “What happened between the two of you?”
It was as if she’d gone back in time, when she was about five or six. Her father had caught her spilling ink on some of his business correspondence. At the time, she felt as if she had committed the most heinous crime in all of England. Just like on that day, tears now formed in Tori’s eyes. “I’m sorry, Colin.”
In that instant, her resolve not to shed one more tear over Tristan disappeared, as her vision clouded. Victoria ran – from her family, from her mistakes and, most of all, from herself. How many more tears would she shed and what would she to do next? She knew not the answers though Victoria knew one thing without a doubt.
She must be stronger and control her emotions.
Confrontations would be forthcoming. First Tristan, now Colin – both would demand answers and what of Sebastian? He was like a father to her, more so than her own had ever been. She would rather die than disappoint him.
Victoria rushed into her bedchamber, slamming the door behind her as she silently set her priorities straight.
Gwen’s health, Gwen’s recovery, was more important than the mess Tori had made of her life.
Get a hold of yourself, Victoria urged, wringing her hands as she paced the expanse of her suite.
One step at a time, she would face her mistakes. But not until every member of Sebastian’s family was healthy and whole.
Chapter 7
Victoria had done an excellent job of avoiding him, Tristan considered as he sat on the leather sofa in the duke’s opulent library studying her intently. She sat on an Aubusson rug with the twins at the far side of the room, yet made no attempt at acknowledging him.
She still appeared pale and immediate concern for her well-being sent an icy blast straight through to his core. His brother sat across from him in an overstuffed chair, tapping his fingertips impatiently against the leather armrest, his rising irritation palpable.
“What in bloody hell is taking t
hem so long?” Colin asked, his fingertips tapping harder with each passing second marked by the ticking of the grandfather clock on the far wall.
Tristan didn’t answer. Instead, he remained silent, hoping that the specialist upstairs would be able to cure Gwen. A part of him knew he should pray, but he still couldn’t do so. Too many of his prayers had gone unanswered, No, God had abandoned Tristan’s family too many times for him to pray ever again.
He glanced once more at Victoria, who narrated one of the twins’ favorite stories while Nicholas sat comfortably in her lap, leaning his head against her shoulder.
Was it merely hours ago that she was on the floor of Tristan’s suite making love to him? It seemed like a lifetime ago. In truth, it was beginning to feel like it never happened at all, as if his imagination was playing tricks on him.
“No! Not the story,” Emma jumped to her feet then placed her hands on her hips.
“Then what is the story?” Victoria asked, her tone gentle.
The girl walked over to the book that Nicholas was now holding and slammed it shut. “Bear eats tiger.”
Victoria looked down at Nicholas. “Is there a bear in this tale?”
“No,” he laughed as he and his aunt shook their heads before turning to Emma in unison.
The girl pealed with laughter. “That’s my story.”
“I see we have an author in the family,” Victoria teased. “Would you like to tell us more, Lady Emma?”
The little girl politely handed the book back to her aunt as she sat primly with her hands clasped in her lap. “No, you read, please.”
Victoria smiled and Tristan found himself incapable of withdrawing his gaze. He wondered if she was indeed carrying his child. If so, would she read to their child much the same way?
His heart swelled with hope for it.
Shaking his head in an attempt to free himself from such foolishness, Tristan couldn’t help but wonder when he had become such a romantic fop.
Colin plopped beside him on the sofa with such might that the cushions bounced. “Would you care to tell me what is going on between you and Tori?”
Tristan took a swig from his crystal tumbler of whiskey before answering, “No, I would not.”
“It is obvious that something is indeed happening between you both,” Colin continued, either oblivious to Tristan’s annoyance or attempting to exacerbate it. “You can’t take your eyes off of her and Tori is currently avoiding you like the plague.”
“Where is your wife? Shouldn’t she be here to entertain you?” Tristan asked, swirling the amber liquid in his glass before taking a larger gulp.
Colin stared at him for a few seconds before answering, “Eve didn’t want to hurt your feelings by being present. I, on the other hand, overestimated you. I thought you’d finally recovered.”
“I’m not angry with you for marrying Eve.” Tristan sighed and glanced at Victoria once again.
“Oh?” Colin mocked. “I dare say you gave an excellent impression of it just now.”
Tristan considered his brother’s statement in silence. He once thought that he loved Eve but, ever since his first kiss with Victoria, he’d had his doubts about the depth of emotion he ever felt for Eve. Now, after last night, Tristan knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that his feelings for Eve never came close in comparison to what he feels for Victoria.
Victoria was a necessity, Tristan’s deepest desire. It was as if she had become his life’s blood. Although he refused to even consider that he loved Tori, he was willing to concede that he wanted her more than words could ever express.
Looking back on it, Tristan conceded that his interest in Eve stemmed from the fact that she had been a safe choice. At the time, Tristan had thought that Eve would never hurt him. Was that, in fact, love? Was it enough to sustain a marriage?
No, of that Tristan was now convinced.
He turned to Colin. “Let’s just say I have come to the realization that I never truly loved Eve. Not the way you do, not the way a husband should.”
“Have you actually forgiven us, Tristan?” Colin arched his brow.
Tristan whispered, careful that the children not overhear him. “Gwen almost died last night. She still could. Reviling you and your wife for the rest of my life seems fruitless at the moment.”
Dr. Danbury cleared his throat upon entering the spacious room. In response, both Tristan and Colin rose immediately, reaching the doctor in record time.
Victoria watched as Tristan and Colin exchanged hushed whispers with the good doctor, though she was unable to discern anything from their facial expressions. Patting Nicholas’s head, she handed him the picture book that she had once created for the twins and placed him gently upon the carpet.
“Wait here, my darlings,” Victoria instructed as she rose, crossing the room in time to hear the doctor say, “Yes, a very good chance.”
“Chance of what?” she asked, positioning herself between Colin and the physician.
The doctor studied her with a reserved smile. “Your sister-in-law’s fever has broken and she has awakened. My colleague, Dr. Shaw, believes that with her current course of treatment and medication, she will make a full recovery.”
“Oh, thank God,” Victoria released a sigh of relief.
She remembered just how hard the amiable physician tried to save her mother, to no avail. The expression of sadness on Dr. Danbury’s face when he admitted that her mother would not survive still haunted her. Victoria had seen the same expression on his face last night in Gwen’s room, and it had terrified her.
Reaching for the dear man, Victoria hugged him in a grateful embrace. “Thank you so much, Dr. Danbury.” She released him, noting a pink tinge creep across his high cheekbones as she smiled before reaffirming what she’d told him after her mother passed. “You have always been so kind to our family.”
Victoria knew he remembered for, ever since, he had joined her for luncheon about once a month. “After all you did for my mother, you have now managed to return Gwen to us. We couldn’t be more grateful for your efforts.”
“It is my pleasure, Lady Victoria,” the jovial physician winked at her. “If you will excuse me, I must return to my patient. His Grace and Dr. Shaw are with Her Grace. Visitors must wait a little while longer.” He bowed before exiting the room and heading towards the main stairs.
“What wonderful news!” Colin enthused as he wrapped Tori in a tight hug.
“You brought us good fortune, Colin,” she whispered to him. “You brought a miracle.”
Once Colin had released her, Victoria turned, bumping directly into Tristan.
He hugged her, just as Colin had done, though Tristan’s embrace felt far from brotherly. In fact, he held her longer than proper and rubbed her lower back in such a way that made her skin tingle under the crushed velvet of her gown.
Victoria recoiled from his grasp, gathering her wits as she addressed the twins. “It is bedtime, my dears.”
“No,” they argued in unison.
“Alas,” she picked up their book from the floor and placed it on a nearby bookshelf, grateful for the distraction they offered her, “the time has arrived.”
“How about I put them to bed?” Colin suggested.
Victoria turned to him, “No, that’s all right.”
“But I never get to put them to bed,” he glanced at the twins. “Shall we give Auntie Tori some free time?”
The twins appeared downright giddy at the prospect of their Uncle Colin doing so. They ran to her, grabbing her skirts.
“Good night,” they said in unison as Tori bent down, kissing each of them. From the corner of her eye, she caught Colin smirking, now standing right next to her.
“I will never forgive you for this,” she muttered to him through a faux smile, low enough that the children wouldn’t hear.
He feigned surprise. “It appears that Tristan wishes to speak with you. What is so wrong with my promoting such communication?”
You have no idea, she
thought as she watched his broad frame exit the library with the children. Of course, she must face Tristan tonight, the realization bolstering her with a steely resolve.
Never again will I be a fool for this man.
“Alone at last,” Tristan’s sensual baritone was smooth as he approached her from behind, splaying his hands around her waist. Victoria’s heartbeat quickened in response to his intimate touch.
His hands were strong. And she remembered the warmth that emanated from them last night as they explored her body, the sensations his caresses had stirred within her. Even though she couldn’t feel the warmth of his touch through her velvet gown on this evening, she remembered – the mere recollection causing her body to quiver in response.
Determined to stop such insanity, Victoria took two steps forward, just far enough to be out of his reach, before turning to face him. “There is nothing to discuss, Tristan.”
“I beg to differ,” he teased, his rich timbre smooth as port. “There is much we must settle.”
Before Victoria could voice her disagreement, Tristan had already grabbed a gas lamp from the desk. Leading her out of the library with his free hand, he escorted her down the hall to a set of French doors that led onto the terrace.
“Tristan, we should remain in the main house,” she said, her voice shaky, her nerves beginning to unravel. The last thing she wanted was to be alone with him away from the main residence.
He stopped short, rounding on Victoria so fast that she hadn’t a chance to stop before colliding with his chest. Again he slipped his free palm upon her waist. She’d been chilled even since their encounter yet, for the first time, her body was beginning to thaw – from this man’s close proximity and firm grip. She fought against the urge to let down her guard.
Never again.
It would be her silent mantra.
Tristan leaned into her, his lips lingering so close to hers that he could have kissed her.
“Our conversation requires privacy. Come with me.” He steered her out onto the terrace and then down the stairs and through a maze of thick, manicured shrubbery.
The Skilled Seduction Page 11