by Amity Cross
The moment I walked out of the police station, I was accosted by a horde of cameras. How they knew where I was at any given time was beyond comprehension. Microphones were shoved in my face, more questions were screamed at me, and it was all I could do to get back to the car in one piece. If it wasn’t for Statfield, I’d still fucking be there.
To add insult to injury, Vanessa was reading a copy of Stargazers when I walked into Juniper’s ICU room. She was sitting in the armchair, totally engrossed. The gossip must be good today.
“How bad is it?” I asked, nodding at the magazine.
She coughed and rolled it up into a tube. “Everyone knows this stuff is bullshit.”
Raising my eyebrow, I snatched it out of her hands and let it fall open. There was a photo of me and Juniper on the front with a garish yellow headline that read, Juniper Attacked: The Dark Side of Superstardom. Fuck, they put out a rush edition over Christmas? Didn’t these people have lives?
“Well, at least we made the cover,” I drawled. “She’d hate these articles. She never wanted to be in the spotlight.”
“She mentioned something like that,” Vanessa said, glancing at her friend. “She said you made an agreement?”
I nodded, moving to Juniper’s bedside. “That’s my life, not hers. We can’t avoid all of it, and what we couldn’t, she was down for. We agreed on no more red carpets, no interviews. We were finding a balance.”
Vanessa snorted, drawing my rising ire.
“What?” I demanded.
“I can’t pretend to understand, but being your girlfriend must be hard work. To the media and your fans, she’s Sebastian Hale’s girlfriend, not Juniper Rowe.” She shook her head and made a grab for the tabloid. “The one thing that’s always obvious when it comes to Juniper is that she wants to be her own person. She’s not the daughter of the guy who jumped off the cliff, or the daughter of a severely depressed mother with cancer. She’s not even the woman who ran the Page Break Bookshop.”
I frowned, beginning to think our plans to work on the recording studio and charity together mightn’t be the best idea. Did she want something that was just hers?
“Your bitchy ex-girlfriend made a mention.”
“Mallory? Do I want to know what it is this time? It’s always something with her.” I glanced at Juniper, hating that we were talking about this shit with her in the room. There were all kinds of studies that suggested people heard more than they realised when they were in a coma. Medically induced or not, I didn’t want to take any chances. “On second thought, don’t tell me.”
“What was with you two?” Vanessa asked, fishing for gossip.
“Nothing,” I murmured. “Nothing at all.”
“You don’t talk much, do you?”
After two years in the music business, I’d become a master at saying everything and nothing all in the same breath. There were two people in my life that I never thought twice about talking to about the big stuff—my mum and Juniper. I could talk to Josh and the others, but there were things I’d held deeper within myself that I’d never wanted to let out.
“No offence, Vanessa, but I don’t talk to anyone.”
“Anyone but Juniper, I hope.”
I grunted.
Vanessa sighed and tossed the magazine into the trash. “I’m going to go down to the cafeteria and find something to eat. Do you—”
“No,” I interrupted, wanting some alone time with Juniper. Not that she’d know I was here, but it was important to me. There were always so many eyes pointed at us, and these moments were precious, even if things were fucked-up right now.
Vanessa let out a humph and rose from the chair. Collecting her bag, she stalked from the room, her nose in the air. Sometimes I didn’t understand why those two were friends, but maybe that was the point.
I sat in the armchair and focused on Juniper. There was so much to tell her.
“Sorry, I’ve been away,” I said. “I had to go to see Halliday and give him my statement. I…” I swallowed the lump in my throat. “Vanessa brought Ziggy. He’s at the McMansion with Farmer. I think he’s getting to all those tough security types and softening them up a bit. Don’t worry, I warned them about his water fixation.”
She was still. The doctors had taped her eyes closed to keep them from drying out, though I longed to see their emerald hue look at me.
Leaning forward, I took her hand in mine and choked back a sob. “Juniper, when they take you off the medication, you’ve got to wake up, okay? You’ve just got to.” I was exhausted. I pressed my cheek against the top of the mattress and clutched her fingers in mine while I propped my other arm on my knee.
Fuck, I hated hospitals.
I thought about my mother then, but I could hardly recall her features. The memory of her face was a blur in my mind, as was the sound of her voice. What was the last thing she said to me? I couldn’t remember. Maybe she’d told me she loved me. Maybe she’d said, I’ll see you soon. Maybe… In the grand scheme of life, did it matter? I didn’t know. All I knew was the storm was rising inside me again and this time, there was nothing I could do to stop it from tearing me apart.
“Mr. Hale?” Statfield said, appearing at the door.
I raised my head and glared at him.
His gaze flickered to Juniper and he tensed. “Mr. Myers is here to see you.”
Myers was at the hospital? The last thing I wanted to do was leave Juniper, but duty was clawing at me yet again. I frowned and climbed out of the chair, my limbs stiff.
Shit, not even the hospital was a safe zone these days. A visit from the boss’ boss’ boss on the day after Christmas didn’t seem like a visit anyone wanted to get. But if Myers was here, then it was probably important. Maybe there was news about Vix.
Statfield moved to the side as I stepped out of the room and into the ward, the antiseptic stench of the ICU hitting me in the face. The nurses station was busy with people in different coloured scrubs walked back and forth, though the noise was at an absolute minimum. A few people threw curious glances at me as I passed, but I ignored all of them.
Myers was waiting out in the hall.
He was wearing a T-shirt and slacks, which was a stark contrast to the suit and tie get up I’d always seen him in. The polished CEO wasn’t so shiny today.
“How is she?” he asked as I approached.
“The same.” The hall was empty, so I added, “She’s in a coma.”
“I’m sorry,” he went on. “To have this happen on Christmas must be—”
“Is there something I can help you with?”
“I thought it was best I talk to you in person as soon as possible… and pay my respects.”
Pay his respects? She wasn’t fucking dead. The word sliced through my chest and I shook my head. “If you want to talk, I’m not doing it in the hall where any fuck can listen.”
“The staff has kindly allowed us to use an office around the corner.” He held up his hand, gesturing for me to walk with him. “This way.”
I followed him stiffly, each step causing an agonising tug to pull at my heart.
The office was nothing special. Just a hole in the wall and a desk littered with papers and an old computer with a monitor papered with coloured Post-its. Medical posters were Blu-tacked to the wall, and the window was covered in an aluminium venetian blinds.
I sat on the chair behind the desk, my gaze locking on a poster explaining the benefits of getting a yearly flu shot.
“I’m very sorry for what’s happened to Juniper, but we need to straighten out a few things,” Myers began, closing the door behind him. “Everything that could’ve happened, has.”
I snorted and rolled my eyes. He could say that again.
“I know it’s a difficult time—”
“I’d appreciate it if you got the point,” I said, gritting my teeth. The longer I was apart from Juniper, the angrier the storm got.
“We’re going to cancel the European tour,” Myers said, confirming my sus
picions. “It was already up in the air after Vix’s behaviour, but now we think it’s best to press pause. Now is not the time to push you out on the road. Juniper is going to have a long recovery time and—”
“It’s just a hiatus?” I asked, solidifying my love of interrupting the hell out of the CEO of Galaxy Records. “Because I fought Vix to save Beneath’s future, not to see us dropped into the too hard basket. It was never about the fucking money.”
“You’re right, it wasn’t about the money. The damage she’s done to Galaxy’s reputation, and yours, runs deep. It’ll take time to get things back on track.”
I snorted. “Just think of all the money we can make with tell-all interviews and ghost written books.”
Myer’s narrowed his eyes. “Galaxy Records is a business, and we owe a duty of care to the board and the shareholders, but we haven’t lost sight of why we got into it in the first place. The glory days of sex, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll are over, but that doesn’t mean the love of good fucking music is dead. Beneath hasn’t been dropped, but it’s barely been two days since Juniper was attacked. A hiatus isn’t a death sentence, Sebastian.”
Wasn’t it? In the modern age of high-speed information and connectivity, it was easy to be forgotten. Being in one of the biggest rock bands in the world didn’t give any of us a free pass. We weren’t immune to the fickle nature of humanity and the next big thing. Staying power was rare these days.
“Right now, you need to be with her one hundred percent,” Myers went on. “The rest can wait. I’ll personally find you a new manager and when everything is settled and Juniper’s had time to recover, we can revisit the idea of resuming the tour.”
The recording studio I’d dreamed about was my ticket into old age. I couldn’t be a fucking rock star all my life and still think I had the juice to pull chicks all night long. Some mouthy upstart would come along and wave his big cock around on stage and he’d be dubbed the next Sebastian Hale. Someone had to be around to make sure he shone for as long as possible, right?
“Sebastian?”
I blinked and turned my gaze back to Myers. “What?”
“Regrets are strange things,” he said. “I hope you never have to live with any.”
I’d missed some pearl of wisdom while my mind had drifted and I shook my head. “I’ve got plenty of those already. Difference is, I tried to do something about them.” My gaze returned to Myers and wondered if he was talking about himself more than he was me. “It’s already in the papers, you know. About Vix…”
“I know.”
“Any heads roll yet?”
“Not yet,” he replied, his lips quirking.
“Some regret, huh?” There was a lot of it going around lately. Statfield, Farmer, Myers. The list went on.
“Galaxy appointed Vix, and I approved it.”
“We were all duped. I wouldn’t go around thinking you were special or anything.” I tensed and rose to my feet, my glare intensifying. “Good luck with the darkness, Myers. I’ve got to get back.”
I walked back to Juniper’s room, my emotions barely in check. I assumed someone would tell me when and where I needed to be once they were ready for Beneath to get going again. They couldn’t go anywhere without their leading man.
Did I want to go back? The thought crashed into me out of nowhere, and I fought against it. Of course I wanted to go back… But… it was my life—my fame, my music, and my arsehole attitude—that’d brought down all the crazy on Juniper. The sex tape, the blackmail, the stalker, all the pain and fucking misery. Everything I was had nearly cost Juniper her life. It still might.
Was the rock star lifestyle really worth all this misery?
From the moment Juniper had been shot, I’d been blaming everyone else—Statfield, Farmer, the paparazzi, Stargazers, the stalker, Vix, even Galaxy—but there was one common denominator that I’d overlooked. Me.
It was all my fault.
5
Juniper
All I could remember was that I was having the best sleep of my life.
Deep, peaceful, sleep.
When my eyes fluttered open, I wasn’t sure what was happening. The room was unfamiliar and I wasn’t sure I was supposed to be here.
A man and a woman were standing over me. They were wearing white coats, so I assumed they were doctors of some kind.
“Where…?” I rasped.
“Juniper? I’m Dr. Lindsey.” He held up a penlight in his hand and shone it into my eyes. “Can you follow the light for me?” I tracked the movement and he nodded to the other doctor. “Pupil responce is normal.” To me, he said, “Can you tell me you name?”
“Juniper Rowe,” I said, my throat scratchy.
“How many fingers am I holding up?”
“Three.”
“What colour is the sky?”
“Blue.”
“Who is this standing beside me?”
I tried to tilt my head, but everything was stiff and painful. I winced, but then he stepped into my field of vision. Sebastian.
He looked tired and dishevelled, and his sandy stubble had grown into the beginnings of a beard. His stormy grey eyes hadn’t changed, even though they were rimmed with dark circles and glistened with tears.
“Sebastian,” I said choking back a sob. “Sebastian.”
I lifted my hand and he took it, his warmth spreading through my skin.
“And I’m here too.” Another familiar face stepped forward.
“Vanessa?”
“The one and only,” she declared with a grin. “Nice to see you awake, Juni.”
Awake? My mind was hazy and I was having trouble latching onto anything but the feel of Sebastian’s hand in mine. He was okay.
“Do you remember what happened to you?” the doctor asked.
“I…” I swallowed, my mouth dry as hell. “She… There was a gun.” My gaze flickered to Sebastian and panic began to rise, causing a machine hooked up to me to start beeping a little more furiously.
“Shh…” he murmured, his thumb stroking the back of my hand. “You’re safe, okay?”
“I’m… confused.”
“You hit your head.”
I frowned and the motion felt sluggish. “Is that why it feels so… tight?”
“Your noggin is wrapped up like a mummy,” Vanessa said, confirming it.
“You were shot in the stomach,” Dr. Lindsey explained. “The force of the shot cause you to fall and you struck the back of your head. We were able to remove the bullet and fix the damage, but you developed a bleed on your brain that caused a few problems. Unfortunately, we had to operate. You’re very lucky, Juniper.”
I tried to raise my hand to feel the bandages, but I had no strength.
“How… long?”
“We had to place you in a medically induced coma to give your brain enough time to heal,” he went on. “You’ve been asleep for a week.”
“A week?” I frowned and looked at Sebastian. “I missed Christmas? No fair.”
Sebastian laughed and shook his head as a tear escaped his eye. “Fuck Christmas. As long as you’re okay.”
“Indeed,” Dr. Lindsey remarked. “We’re going to keep you for observation for a while yet, I’m afraid. My present to you is more tests and scans.”
“Goodie.”
The doctor turned to Sebastian and Vanessa as my eyes drooped. I’d slept for a week and I was still tired.
“Everything is looking promising,” he said to Sebastian and Vanessa. “There appears to be no deficits that I can discern, but the tests over the coming week will tell us more. Her stomach is healing nicely, though—”
“We’ll discuss the other thing later,” Sebastian murmured. “Thank you for your discretion.”
“Is there water?” I asked no one in particular.
A straw was placed against my lips and I sipped, the cool liquid feeling like heaven on my raw tongue. I must’ve had a tube down my throat, because it felt as if someone had scraped out my insid
es with sandpaper.
“What happened to her?” I opened my eyes and realised everyone but Sebastian had left the room. When did that happen?
“She’s in police custody,” he replied.
“And?”
“And she was mentally unstable.”
Oh…
Sebastian must’ve read my thoughts because he added, “She’s being held under psychiatric care and was charged with stalking, harassment, and… uh, attempted murder.”
Oh…
“Where is everyone?”
“You fell asleep while the doctors were still here,” he said. “It’s normal. You’ll be tired for a while, they said.”
“Ness?”
“Gone to get something to eat.”
Oh…
My eyes drooped.
“Sleep,” Sebastian murmured, pressing his lips against my palm. “The more rest you get, the sooner you’ll be on your feet again.”
“Is that how it works?” I felt a lazy smile tug at my lips.
“So I hear.”
I drifted again, my dreams filled with chaotic images. I was at a Beneath concert, watching Sebastian on stage. He was so electric, it made all my lady parts juice up. The way he crooned into the microphone, how his fingers drifted along the strings of his guitar, and how he stole glances toward the side of the stage where I was lingering.
“He’s perfect,” I said. “Just… perfect.”
“He sure is,” Mum replied. “And rich, too.”
“Mum!” I huffed and turned to tell her off some more, but she disappeared, swirling into a black mist that was gone the moment I blinked.
I couldn’t remember her face and a maw of longing opened up in my chest. I’d forgotten her. How could I forget what my mother looked like?
“Juni?”
My eyes cracked open and I winced as pain throbbed through my body. A dull throb had taken over my head, and it felt as if I had intense period pain in my gut.