by Nicole Marie
I recognized your anger and sorrow and guilt about what had happened to your colleagues, and it consumed me. I never felt such raw human emotion before, and the love you bore your people was too much for me to bear. I knew then that I had to preserve and protect you. Once our minds linked and I tasted the sweet taste of your raw human emotion, it was the most beautiful thing I’d ever experienced, and I knew you had to be protected.
I couldn’t think of what to say. I finally settled on asking him, “Does this not happen with every human you feed on?”
Erik slowly shook his head and frowned. I’ve never once experienced what I felt with you. I’ve never once been forced to stop a bite through sheer human will. I don’t remember what happened after, as the rest of the evening is black in my mind. I know nothing more than you after the bite.
I was finding it difficult to process what he told me. “What happened to my colleagues?”
I swallowed hard, and wasn’t sure I wanted to know the answer. My emotions have been so conflicted when it came to Erik and his people that I didn’t know how I would respond or react when I would find out that he killed them.
Do you not remember? Erik ’s voice came softly in my mind.
I shook my head and wiped another tear from my eye. “I remember nothing from that night apart from a flash of the memory of you biting me. I then woke up in my bed a day or two later. Everyone was missing. I didn’t know if they’re dead or alive.”
I paused to take a weak breath. “Please, Erik, tell me the truth. What happened that night?”
You weren’t the only ones sent for us that night. We have many enemies, so I’m sure you can imagine.
I pushed myself up onto my knees again and looked down at him curiously. “There were more there that night? Who?”
Erik frowned. An old enemy of ours from a long time ago. It was a savage night and there was much bloodshed. If you don’t remember, then I will not force the memory on you.
“What happened to my people?” I asked desperately now.
They were taken, but not by our people. You were the least of our concern that night, and I had no reason to harm the humans. Despite the fact that you came in attempt of our assassination. Not that you would have succeeded, in any case.
I considered that a moment and then nodded. “What happened next?”
We had bigger things to deal with that night, and in the chaos of the attack, your people were taken by those that came to attack us. In hindsight, I wondered if they were actually there to attack us or to get your men, as they left swiftly after collecting them.
I frowned as I tried to remember anything from that night. “You mean you think the people that went to attack you were really sent to attack us? That doesn’t make any sense.”
Erik slowly reached his arm out again and stroked my face gently. There’s much that doesn’t make sense. But I promise you this, Charlie. I will help you find the answers if I can.
I could feel his overwhelming need to help me course to my mind, and I knew he was telling the truth. If he really could help me find my colleagues, and if they really weren’t dead at his hand, I had to do everything I could to save him.
I swallowed hard as I realized what that meant I had to do. I listened to my own heartbeat in my chest and let the rhythm calm me as I came to the painful decision that I would offer my blood to him if it meant that he would grow strong enough to help me. If it meant that he would help me find my colleagues. If it meant that he would help me find the answers I sought so desperately.
“Okay, Erik. I’ll help you. But first, I need to make a phone call.”
7
“Shit,” I swore as I ran my hands furiously over my jacket, looking for my phone. I glanced around the room in an effort to see if it fell out of the pocket, but I didn’t see it anywhere.
“I think I might’ve left my phone in the car,” I said to Erik. “Give me some time. I need to go get some fresh air and make a call. But I’ll be back soon, okay?
I saw Erik nod faintly. I ran my hand down along his arm and then pushed myself up to leave. I walked slowly out of the room and put my head to the door to see if anyone was standing outside.
The hall was deserted and I let out a breath I didn’t know I’d been holding. The cold dampness of the underground rooms pressed against my skin with a strange energy that almost stung. I shivered and then left the room, headed down the long corridor, and back up the stairs towards some much-needed fresh air. I could see much better now, thanks to my renewed mental connection to Erik. My senses were heightened and I was aware of my surroundings for more than I ever had been before. Even the air that blew past my ears as I walked was nearly deafening, and it took a while to adjust.
When I finally stepped outside into the dark early morning air, I took a deep breath and let it out slowly, relaxing my muscles as I did so.
The cold air felt amazing against my skin, and I slowly made my way back to the car. I was disappointed, though, as I couldn’t find it anywhere. It hadn’t fallen out of my pocket on the run, as I had just retraced my steps. I ran my hands through my hair in frustration, and then turned to look around the car one last time.
My hands searched through my jacket pocket and at least I still had the car keys. I hopped in the car and drove down the road, unsure where I was going. I drove for about thirty minutes as the sun began to rise far in the East, casting a warm pink glow over the Oxford streetscape. Finally, I came upon a square and pulled over in front of an old building that looked like a hotel. There was no one inside apart from a young girl with her head resting on her elbow, sleeping quietly at the front desk.
I cleared my throat when I approached, and she jolted awake, panicked. “Oh, my goodness, I am so sorry. I’m not supposed to fall asleep, stupid me. How can I help you?” She forced a large wide smile across her young face as she rubbed her eyes sleepily.
“My car is stuck and I need to use the phone. Is there one here that I can use?”
She yawned sleepily and nodded and motioned towards a phone on the far side of the lobby. I smiled back at her as she rested her head immediately back on her arm and looked to fall back asleep instantly. Fortunately, there was no one else around as I suspected she would get in trouble for sleeping.
I picked up the phone and began dialing, but immediately stopped as I realized I didn’t remember James’ phone number. I had him on speed dial in my phone, but I never had the need to remember it by heart. I sat and stared at the phone in silence for a long while and contemplated driving back to London despite knowing that I really should stay. I closed my eyes and tried to remember my fingers dialing this number on my phone, but I drew a blank. I was startled when Erik’s soft voice came in my head just then.
I can help you, Charlie.
I rubbed my eyes, and thanked him as he gave me James’s number from memory. I then felt a pang of regret in the pit of my stomach as, of course, Erik would be familiar with everything I had done this past few months. He must have an incredible memory to remember such a small detail, and I made a point of being more careful with my actions in the future. I had been tormenting him for months without any idea of the consequences. I was ridden with guilt. I had been so careless.
“I’m so sorry, Erik,” I whispered. I could feel him smile in my mind, but he said nothing. “I know it’s a lot to ask, but do you mind giving me some privacy?”
Of course.
I dialed James’ number and waited for him to pick up. It rang for a long time before he finally answered.
“Hello?” He sounded sleepy and grumpy, but his voice made me smile nonetheless.
“Hi James, it’s Charlie. I’m sorry to wake you.”
“Oh, hey babe. Where are you calling from?” He no longer sounded sleepy, his voice taking on an air of alertness.
“I misplaced my phone. Listen, James, I need to talk to you about something. I’m having a bit of mental crisis, and I could use some words of advice.”
“You know
you can talk to me about anything.” He waited in silence for me to continue, but I wasn’t quite sure what to say.
I ran my fingers in my hair and then rubbed my eyes with the palm of my hands as I tried to think of how to explain the ridiculous situation that I was in. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly as my mind processed the events of the night.
“I visited my friend. He seems to be doing a little bit better, but he isn’t able to make a full recovery without my help.”
“Well, that sounds good. Isn’t it?”
I ran my hands through my hair again, a nervous habit I had developed, and took another deep breath.
“The thing is…”
He waited patiently for me to continue, and I leaned my head up against the wall beside me as I breathed deeply in and let my brain wander momentarily. “The thing is, I’d have to give up part of me that I’m not sure I’m willing to. It would change me, you know?”
James’s voice sounded panicked and angry when he responded with a husky voice. “Don’t do anything you’re not comfortable with, Charlie. Don’t let the doctor bully you into anything. You don’t owe him shit. What the hell are they asking you to do?”
“It is hard to explain. In order to help him get better, I’m the only one that can donate. If I don’t, he’ll die.”
“What the hell are they asking you to donate? Like a kidney or something?”
I laughed. “Something like that.”
“Charlie, as admirable as it is donating something like that to a friend, you realize it will change the rest of your life. I’ve known people who donated part of the liver and other things before, and while they do eventually recover, it does change their life for quite a while.”
I nodded into the phone as I listened to him speak, letting his warm voice wash over me as I listened through the phone. “Yeah, I know. It’s not so much that it would hurt me physically, it’s more of a mental thing.”
“If you morally object to anything, then don’t do it. Blame religion or anything, but get out of it. Honestly, Charlie, don’t do anything that you’re going to regret.”
“Yeah, maybe you’re right.”
“Just apologize to your friend, say your goodbyes, and then come home. Where are you, exactly?”
I sighed loudly into the phone and rubbed my eyes in exhaustion. “I dunno. Nowhere,” I said quickly. “Just went to visit my friend nearby. But, you’re right. I’ll tell him no and then I’ll come back to you. Don’t wait up though. I’ll crawl into bed soon as I get there.”
“I’m waiting here for you,” he said, his voice suddenly sounding deep and needy. “Hurry back so I can touch you. It’s lonely in this bed and I’m craving your naked body.”
I bit my lip as I groaned into the phone. “Well that’s just not fair, is it?”
“In fact, I’m naked right now. Running my hand down the length of my body. Oh, what’s this? I think I’m ready for you.”
I closed my eyes and clasped my hand firmly around the phone as my breathing grew deeper. “James,” I whispered into the receiver. “Really, that’s not fucking fair.”
“My eyes are closed, and I’m pretending you’re lying here naked next to me. The curves of your body pressing up against me as I run my hands down your soft skin, tracing down your stomach and settling between your legs.”
My heart began to beat faster as I imagined the scene James described. “I can almost feel your hands on me.”
James practically growled into the phone “Oh yeah? Then what do you think I’m doing to you now?”
I bit my lip even harder as I imagined his hands down between my legs.
“You’re such a fucking tease,” I whispered into the phone. “I’ll be back as soon as I can, okay?”
“Okay,” he laughed. “I’ll be here waiting for you, babe. Hurry back. Promise me you’ll just say goodbye and come back to me?”
“Yeah, I promise.” I hung up the phone before he had any more questions, and took it another deep steadying breath and let it out slow as I could.
I sat there in silence for a few long minutes, and finally the girl the front desk cleared her throat loudly. She had woken up and she was looking at me curiously. “Are you going to rent a room or not?”
I stood up and shook my head. “Not.”
I walked out of the hotel and did a quick lap around the square, allowing the cold air to invigorate me as I pushed myself to run. I came back to the car and then decided on another lap, and ran as fast as I could around the square one last time. My lungs burned and my breathing grew ragged, and I relished in the feeling of the cold air coursing through my lungs.
I leaned against the car and let my breath return to normal as I thought about just what the hell I should do. When I closed my eyes, I could still feel Erik’s dying body. The pain of not feeding combined with the desperate need to protect me almost consumed me. I ran my hands through my hair as I visualized his still form lying on the hard stone ledge deep underground.
“Well, shit.” I had made my decision.
I knew what I had to do and I was just stalling. As much as it hurt me, and the idea of donating my blood or participating in any of their ridiculous ritualistic activities angered me, I knew I had no choice. He was sacrificing himself for me, because of me. I knew that if this one simple thing could help him, then I would regret this moment for the rest of my life if I didn’t see it through.
I could hear James’ voice nagging me in the back of my mind, but it was over laced with the mental connection to Erik. Both men battled in my mind, fighting over the decision, but I knew neither of them could play any role in my final choice. It had to be up to me.
I took another steadying breath and let it out, and got in James’ car and drove down the street to find something that could help. I didn’t drive for long before I came up to exactly what I was looking for. I pulled over and got out and was relieved when I saw a 24-hour sign on the front door. I stepped through the sliding glass doors as I let my eyes to adjust to the blinding glare of the light above me. I then walked confidently up to the counter in the back and waited for the man in the long white coat to approach me.
My body shook, but I did my best to stay calm and steady. I knew this was the right decision.
“Can I help you?” the bespectacled man asked from the other side of the narrow counter.
I stared at him for a long moment and then sighed. “Yes. I need a blood kit, please.”
8
When I arrived back at Erik’s building, I sat alone on the front steps for a while as I watched the sun rise in the sky. It was a cloudy morning, but the colors were incredible. Pinks and golds and oranges flooded the sky as the sun made its way slowly higher.
The air was cool and felt good against my skin as I sat on the steps and ran my fingers up and down the length of the bag in my hand. I had stopped at a shop on the way back and picked up a bottle of whiskey. Whiskey and a blood kit, just your typical morning shopping trip.
My mind raced as I tried to come to terms with what I was about to do. I’d spent my whole adult life fighting these creatures, and now I was going to offer so much of myself up to help them. I remembered the overwhelming and agonizing pain that consumed my body when Alexandra had approached Erik with her bloodied arm. Just the smell of blood was enough to knock me off my feet and tear the breath from my chest. I wondered if my own blood would have the same effect or if I would be somehow immune because of our mental connection.
The idea terrified me.
I also wondered just how much blood would be required to sustain the vampire, as I suspected it would be more than the simple prick of a finger. I rolled up the paper bag in my hand and unrolled it methodically, folding out the crinkles of the paper with my hand against my leg. I looked up as the sun shone through the clouds as I mentally prepared myself for what I was about to do.
Just when I thought I had accepted it and moved to stand, my body froze, not allowing me to move. I then rolled up the
bag in my hands again, unrolled it slowly and folded out the crinkles with my hand one last time.
I took a few deep slow breaths and exhaled slowly, trying to remember the tricks from the meditation I had learned months before. It was no use, though, as my mind was racing and there was nothing I could do to calm it.
I was outside for probably at least an hour before I heard footsteps behind me. I turned to see Victor standing in the door, his large black hood covering his face. He stood there and watched me in silence for a while as I looked back up at him with a frown.
Finally, he extended his hand out to me and beckoned me forward. “You’re going to catch a cold out here, Miss Rose. Why don’t you come inside?”
I sighed one last time as I rolled up the paper bag in my hand that held the blood kit and the whiskey and shoved it deep into my jacket pocket. I slowly stepped up the stairs to join Victor and he led me back through the large building and down the winding stairs.
I had no need to hold my hand against his back this time as my eyes could see perfectly well in the dark now. I followed him slowly as we rounded each bend of the stairs, making our way deeper and deeper underground. We finally reached the end of the stairs and he stood aside and let me pass. I knew my way by then, and he simply watched me curiously as a I went to rejoin Erik in the far room.
I paused at the door that separated myself and Erik, though. I placed my hand up against it and waited, counting my heartbeats in my chest for a long while before gaining the nerve to go in. Finally, when I opened the door, I was met with a bright energy that buzzed along my skin as I stepped inside.
“Charlie,” Erik’s voice whispered from the other side of the room.
Placing one foot in front of the other, I slowly made my way towards the vampire, all the while my heartbeat growing louder in my chest, echoing deafeningly in my ears as I moved. I felt like I was on autopilot and I had no control of my body.