The Bear’s Secret

by Fay Walsh

  When he pulled out, she shivered with delight, loving the way that he felt against her, and a little sad to feel him pull away.

  For a moment, neither of them said anything. She didn’t even know what to say to him, other than it was super amazing, and felt so good. She loved it, and he definitely liked her a lot. Billy moved in close, giving her a kiss.

  “That felt so good,” he said to her.

  “It really did. It was nice,” she said.

  The two of them stayed silent for a bit. There was something on Nikki's mind though that kept eating away at her. She wondered if she should ask him about it because she knew that something was bothering him.

  “Are you okay?” she asked.

  “Yeah, I am,” he said to her.

  “Are you sure? I mean, I feel like you’re happy about what happened, but there is something bothering you,” she told him.

  He paused, and then, after a moment or so, she heard him speak.

  “I'm not sure if I'm ready to tell you, let alone anyone, about this yet. There’s a lot that’s been bothering me, Nikki, a lot that I'm a little scared to admit. It’s really personal, and it’s affected me. But this… this felt so good. I'm so happy we could share this,” he told her.

  “I am too. I understand that. It sounds like it’s a personal problem,” she said.

  “It is, Nikki. I don’t hate you at all for asking, but I'm going to be honest, it is something I’d rather not discuss right now. I'm trying to work through it,” he said.

  “I know. You sound a bit unsure of what to do. I understand honestly” she said.

  She looked at him, and he gave her a warm smile. There was one thing Nikki did want to tell him though, something that she wanted to let him know.

  “However, even though your life is a mess, I'm grateful we could have this. It felt nice. It felt almost… natural in a sense,” she admitted.

  “It really does, Nikki. It’s so strange to feel this way about something like this with a person, but you make me happy. Almost as if… you are my mate,” he said.

  She blushed, realizing that this was an honor to hear.

  “And you make me feel good too. I won’t pry Billy. I know this is a personal demon, but if you ever want to talk, I'm here to listen,” she said.

  The two sat around for another hour, talking about small things. Nikki could see the happiness in Billy’s eyes at the notion that she cared. It felt nice to make Billy happy with her words, and that's what mattered to her. She knew that her life was hell on earth, and it probably wasn’t easy to discuss it, but she was happy that Billy was talking to her anyway, even if he wasn’t ready to reveal everything.

  Chapter 11

  Billy felt unsure of what to say. When he watched Nikki get up to leave, he wanted to tell her everything, to explain to her why he acted the way that he did. But, he stopped.

  “It’s better this way,” he said to himself.

  When Nikki got up to leave, Billy stood as well. He looked at her, and then he took her hand.

  “I'll walk you home,” he said.

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yeah. I want to,” he stated.

  In truth, Billy wanted to make sure she got back safely. She did have her dad to worry about, and Billy didn’t want to leave her alone. He took her hand, and the two of them walked out of there. It was a pleasant silence, but after a bit, Billy spoke.

  “You know, this is the first time I've truly felt happy,” he said.

  “What do you mean?” she asked.

  “In the past I've… I've had to deal with a lot of trouble. I had a lot happen to me years ago. Lots of people think I'm just some happy guy with a little bit of jealousy, but all I want is to make it better for myself, and for others. I don’t want people to deal with the same fate that I did,” he said.

  This was the first time Billy ever uttered anything about his past, and the fact that he had the courage to do so now was a little relieving.

  “I get that. Sounds like you went through hell on earth,” she admitted.

  “You could say that. I did,” he said.

  “I won't ask about it Billy, but if you ever need to talk, just know that I'm here,” she said to him.

  He looked at Nikki, and for the first time in a long time, he felt relieved.

  “You’re too good to me,” he said.

  “What do you mean?” she asked.

  “You’re so nice. You act as if you care. This is something I'm just not used to. I appreciate it. Hopefully I get the courage to discuss it more with you, but for now, know that your words help. A lot,” he told her.

  She nodded. Billy felt almost ready to tell her the truth. He wanted to be open to her about everything. Would she be willing to accept him after this, though?

  The truth was, the darkness in his heart was something even Billy wasn’t comfortable with. He wondered if there was something that could be done to alleviate the fears that he had. He didn’t think talking to the other shifters would help, but maybe one day he’d get the courage to tell Nikki everything.

  “I mean, I can’t fully relate Billy, but I know that… whatever you’re going through, it’s rough. I understand that. My home life is a mess. My dad and I don’t get along, I feel like he’s hiding something from me, my mom is sickly and she’s been a mess ever since I came back, it’s just… there’s a lot, and it’s sometimes hard to deal with. Sometimes I just want to fucking scream. But, being around you is nice. It changed everything for me. It made me feel like I was important like I matter to you. Which is a nice feeling,” she admitted.

  “You do matter to me though,” he said.

  She blushed, and then, she sighed.

  “You say that, but I'm going to be honest with you Nikki, in my life, it’s sometimes hard to believe. I went through… a lot, honestly. I feel like I've been through the wringer so many times it’s not even funny. Sometimes, I feel like I'm missing something in life, but when I'm with you, I feel like you’re what I'm looking for,” he said.

  He still had a lot to think about, but when he told Nikki this, she grinned.

  “I'm glad I matter to you. It feels really nice to hear that,” she said.

  “You do matter Nikki. More than you imagine,” he admitted.

  He saw Nikki turn red, and there was something almost nice about the way that she stared at him. The way that she looked into his eyes with that loving, sweet look, it all made sense. He loved it, and he couldn't help but feel happier about the way that she spoke to him, almost relieved.

  “If you ever need anything though, I'm here,” she said to him with a smile.

  She was serious about this. She pushed her pinky up, and for a moment, he looked at her with confusion.

  “What the-”

  “It’s a pinky promise. I know it’s stupid as hell, but I feel like... I feel like it’s a good way to solidify a promise, don't you think?” he asked.

  “Y- yeah. Sorry, I just haven’t done one of these since I was young,” she admitted.

  “I haven’t either,” he replied.

  She held her pinky there, and for a moment, Billy just wanted to stay like this. She looked at him with relief, and Billy felt happy as well.

  “Anyway, we should probably get back. I can already hear my dad getting mad about me being late,” she said.

  “Yeah. I probably won’t come near your house, but I hope that everything goes okay,” he told her.

  He knew that her dad had something against him. He could tell from the way that she looked forlorn every time she talked about him. She looked almost guilty to be around him, but Billy wouldn't ask about it. He knew better than that, and in truth, he was just happy to have her there.

  When they got to her house, he stopped about a block away. They looked at one another, and Billy could tell that she didn’t want to let go of his hand.

  “Thank you. For everything,” she said.

  “You’re very welcome. You’re welcome to call me at any time,�
� he admitted.

  “Y-yeah. Thank you. I'm just worried, that’s all,” she said.

  “Don’t be. I'm here,” he said.

  “Yeah, that’s what I'm worried about,” she replied.

  He didn’t understand, but at the same time, he knew for a fact that Nikki would explain this with time. When they parted ways, he watched as she went into the house. There was something about what would happen next that ate at Billy. He didn’t know what it was, but he wouldn’t pry. Sometimes, it was just easier this way.

  Chapter 12

  When Nikki entered the house, she knew her father would be waiting. But, when she got there, she immediately felt the foreboding presence. When she turned inside, she looked to her left, and there was her father again.

  “You’re home late. Again,” he said.

  “Yeah. I met up with someone after work. He wanted to spend time with me,” Nikki said.

  “I see. You’re always out. Your mother and I miss you,” he said, his voice fraught with mock sadness.

  Immediately, Nikki felt her hands clench, the anger coursing through her body.

  “You don’t. You’re lying,” she snapped.

  “Really now? Am I?” he asked.

  “Yes, you are, dad. You’re always like this. Lying about the way that I feel, lying about how I am supposed to act, and acting like you really care about this. I only moved back to help you, but now, now I'm regretting this,” she said

  She could see the anger in her father’s eyes as he glared at her. Her father then spoke with a lowered voice.

  “Yeah well, you spent a lot more time at home back when you didn’t have that damn Billy around,” he snapped.

  She looked at him, anger present in her eyes.

  “What the hell are you talking about?”

  “Ever since you started seeing that boy, you’ve been acting differently. You’re always out, you never do anything around here, you’re just… so distant,” he said.

  Nikki looked at him with slight annoyance. His tone of voice brought her on the edge.

  “You’re one to talk, dad. Trust me, I know what I'm doing. I know that I'm better off seeing him. I like him a lot. He’s really nice and really cool, and I don’t understand why you’re so worried about me seeing him. I mean, he’s not some drug dealer or serial killer, so why are you so worried?” she asked him with a snappy tone.

  He looked at her with a pained expression, and for a moment, she wondered if there was something he was hiding from her.

  “You don’t get it, do you?” he muttered.

  “Get what? That you’re being an overbearing fool, and I'm sick of dealing with it?” she snapped at him.

  Normally, Nikki didn’t take that tone with her father. He was someone she at least tried to reason with, in the past, but now, with the way he was treating her, she was already sick of his behavior.

  “So you’re saying I can’t see him.”

  ‘No. you can’t.”

  “And why is that dad? Why are you so hell-bent on protecting me,” she snapped.

  There was a pause, and she soon saw an angry look come over his face.

  “You don’t get it, do you?” he said.

  “No. I don’t. I feel like you’re just trying to protect me for some bullshit reason. You’re being unreasonable,” she replied.

  “I'm not trying to be,” he snapped.

  “Why are you acting like this then? What is your reason behind acting this way?” she muttered.

  She glared at her father, anger, and annoyance at the forefront of her emotions. She hated that he didn’t listen to her, that he thought that he was better than her and she didn’t mean anything.

  “Because I'm sick of you treating me like I'm nothing.”

  ‘Yeah well, that makes two of us!”

  “You’re nothing more than a fool. You don’t understand. These guys are dangerous!”

  “Well, I don’t like being treated like a goddamn child either, father. You clearly don't have your priorities straight,” she snapped at him.

  There was tension in the air, as thick as could be, and for a moment, Nikki and her father didn’t say anything. Everything was awkward as hell and Nikki felt as if this was the beginning of the end for their relationship. She wondered if he would actually get off his goddamn high horse, and realize that he was being a douche. She doubted it though, especially with how he was.

  But then, he softened, looking at Nikki with a sigh.

  “You don’t get it, do you? I'm sorry that you’re not paying attention to what’s going on around you,” he said to her.

  “What do you mean dad? Because it clearly feels like you’re just being overprotective,” she snapped.

  “No. I'm trying to be a good parent to you. You don’t understand what’s out there, and I don't trust Billy. I can tell that he’s nothing more than trouble, and if you think that it’s just going to be easy with him around, it won’t be. He’s trouble, and I know that you’re better than this. I just want to make sure my baby girl is protected from these… creatures,” he said to her.

  “What the hell are you talking about dad? Billy is fine. You’re overthinking things,” she said.

  But the way that her father said that last word set her off. Did he know that Billy was a shifter? She doubted it because she heard from Billy himself that he didn’t tell anyone about the other shifters, and she was the first to know. So what did he say to bother her so much? He was definitely acting weird.

  “I'm sorry Nikki. I just want to protect you. You’re so strong, and so brave, that I feel like I could be better off helping you foster those strengths. You don't need a man to do that and I admire how brave you are. I'm glad that I can be useful and help you as a parent, but I'm also trying to protect you from the way that others can be too. People aren't as nice as you think, and you’re acting like he’s fine. He may be trouble, but you wouldn't realize this,” he said.

  ”Sounds like you think you know Billy better than I do. Which I don’t believe at all. You’ve never even met him,” she snapped.

  “That’s because I do!”

  “No, you fucking don’t. And I'm not listening to you anymore. You’re just acting so strange, and I can’t handle it! I hate that you’re acting this way. I know that you’re better than this dad. You truly are,” she snapped at him.

  “And you’re nothing more than trouble. The only reason I keep you around is to help. You’re acting like he’s nothing harmful, that he won’t hurt you. But I know these types dear, they’ll trap you, curling around you like a snake trying to capture its prey. You don’t get it, but I know that one day, it’ll happen and you’ll come crying to your father, begging to get out of this. I'm just… trying to protect you from that,” he said.

  “Well, daddy, I don’t need your protection. I know that you’ve got some weird undeserved hatred for him, and I'm not dealing with that,” she snapped at him.

  Nikki got up, headed upstairs and slammed the door behind her. She wasn’t dealing with that shit today. It was obvious that her father wouldn’t be easy to reason with, so she was going to keep it at that.

  The next couple of days were different. Nikki noticed that her father was avoiding her because of the fight. He was giving her the silent treatment. He’d look at her, and then leave without a word. Nikki could tell that what she said had hurt him, but on top of that, she had a strange feeling that he didn’t care as much as he pretended to care. He seemed to be only acting this way because of the fight that they had.

  “Whatever, not my fucking problem,” she said to herself.

  However, she also noticed that her dad was spending a lot more time out of the office. She always thought that he was an office man, and never left for any reason. But, he seemed to leave it more and more often these days. Her mother was always upstairs, sick and never coming down, but Nikki started to wonder if there was something else going on here.

  Was her dad really protecting his wife? Was her mother reall
y sick? She felt like there were some lies hidden beneath. Nikki realized that she needed to find the truth.

  One day, she waited until her dad left the office and the house before she crept downstairs. She didn’t hear her mother stir, which was convenient for her since she didn’t know how to explain to her why she was in her dad’s office. They had all implicitly agreed that it was off-limits to the rest of the family, but Nikki wasn't going to just sit there and do nothing. She went inside, and as she did so, she opened the door quietly, closing it behind her.