by Mindy Neff
With only the light over the stove for illumination, Tanner sat on the Boor, talking softly to Pal, who was drinking from the baby bottle, milk dribbling down the sides of his furry mouth. Buddy gamboled nearby, attempting to climb into Tanner’s lap, yet the puppy didn’t quite have the agility, or the height, to accomplish the feat. Annie looked on in appreciative adoration, her black-and-white muzzle resting on Tanner’s thigh.
“I’ve only got two hands, Buddy,” he said to the whining puppy. “You’ll have to wait your turn.”
Butterflies took wing in Jordan’s stomach. As much as she tried to stretch her imagination, she just couldn’t picture Randall sitting on a kitchen floor conversing with puppies. And although she knew it was dangerous to continually compare Randall with Tanner, she couldn’t seem to help herself.
Unwilling to disturb him yet, she stayed just inside the kitchen doorway and watched. He looked so tough sitting there, wearing only a pair of jeans, his long, dark hair falling across his bare shoulders. With his head bent, his hair nearly reached his nipples.
She wanted to touch him there—his chest, that rock-hard stomach—wanted to map his body with her hands, shower him with kisses, commit every part of him to her memory. A memory she could take out and examine when they were no longer together.
The desire that spiraled through her was near agony. She cleared her throat and his head snapped up.
“Need some help?” she asked, pleased that her voice actually worked.
His eyes held hers, riveting her to the spot. She saw his gaze shift to her hair, then to her T-shirt where she knew her nipples stood out against the cotton. Although the light was dim, she had an idea he knew the state her body was in. She could see it in his gaze—especially when it lingered on the hem of her shorts.
Shorts that she wore without underwear.
Pal lost his hold on the bottle and whined. The sound had Annie lifting her head in apparent disapproval and Buddy yapping anew.
“I thought I could get to them before they woke you,” Tanner said softly. “I hadn’t counted on Buddy being such an impatient little squirt.”
Jordan smiled, and Tanner nearly forgot what he was supposed to be doing. Her jet-black hair was sleep-tousled and sexy as hell. The T-shirt she wore almost covered her shorts, but still, those long, bare legs were igniting his fantasies.
By damn, he was restless. He wasn’t used to somebody else handling investigations, and he’d had to stop himself from calling Sonny every five minutes. That would blow the other man’s cover and they’d never find out who was threatening Jordan.
The way he was feeling right now, though, Tanner figured it would be safer all around if he was in Grazer’s Corners and Sonny was guarding Jordan.
He didn’t know how much longer he could keep his hands off her.
When she eased down next to him, he caught a whiff of the shampoo scent that clung to her hair, and his body reacted with typical speed.
Hell on fire, he was tired of fighting it—of fighting these reactions. Tired of playing fair.
She scooped up Buddy, and used the cabinets for a backrest as he was doing.
“How come we always end up on the floor?” she asked.
“I don’t know. But I can think of much better things to do down here than bottle-feeding puppies.”
Her hand jerked and her hair swished across her shoulders. “Be good.”
“I guarantee you, I will be.” For the life of him, he didn’t know why he was baiting her. He’d been the one running, the one to call a halt when things heated up. In the deep of the night, though, in the shadowy light of the stove, the banter somehow felt right.
Especially when she flashed him that sassy grin. Damned if he didn’t appreciate the woman she’d grown up to be.
“Evidently you’re feeling pretty safe since we have the babies to take care of,” she teased.
“Evidently.”
Pal had about had his fill and was only toying with the rubber nipple. Tanner set the bottle on the floor, and Annie gave it a sniff as though checking how much was left. He could have put the fluffy puppy back in its makeshift box, but it felt good to cuddle it. Besides, it gave him something to do with his hands, kept him from reaching out to run his fingertips beneath the hem of Jordan’s shorts, just to satisfy his curiosity about whether or not she was wearing panties.
The problem was, his curiosity wouldn’t stop there. And he knew exactly where the quest would lead; knew, too, that she would let him.
But that would only start them on a journey that would dead-end all too soon. And the only road he wanted to travel with Jordan was a road that led unencumbered into the future.
The wall clock over the dinette set ticked rhythmically as the second hand moved around the dial. Pressure built in his chest.
“Earlier, you said that you had to get married. Are you pregnant?”
Her burst of laughter startled the puppies. “No.”
“Then why are you marrying Latrobe?”
“He asked, I said yes.” She shrugged as though that should be the end of it. “I gave my word.”
“There’s more to it than making a promise.”
“I never go back on my word.”
Her adamance set off warning signals in his brain. “That’s admirable, Blackie, but don’t you think you’re carrying a vow too far? Especially since it’ll affect the rest of your life?”
“I can’t back out.”
He frowned. “There’s that word again. Can’t. There’s more that you’re not saying.”
“There wasn’t before you came along.”
He knew she hadn’t meant to admit that, and he wasn’t going to let her get out of it or take the words back. “Explain.”
She looked everywhere but at him. “The puppies are sleeping.... I should go back to bed.”
He gripped her wrist to hold her still. “Uh-uh. Tell me what my coming along has to do with anything.”
She let out a resigned breath. “You make me feel.”
He skimmed a finger over her arm. “Feel what?”
“Special...” His fingertip worked its way down to her hand. She turned her palm up, linked her fingers with his. “Desire.”
“You’ve already told me it’s more than lust.”
“Yes. I can’t define it, though. It’s not...”
“Right?” he finished when her words trailed off.
She released a pent-up sigh. “The way you make me feel is terribly unfair to Randall.”
“Which brings us back to the original question. Why are you marrying him? It’s not as though you wouldn’t have a ton of other prospects.”
“Thank you.” She traced her thumb over the scar at his knuckle. He made her feel so many things— made her want. His interest in her was genuine, and that was something special. Too many times in her life, people had sought out her company because of who she was—Maynard Grazer’s daughter.
With Tanner, though, it was different. And in the quiet of the night, with his fingers twined warmly, solidly with hers, admission came easily.
“Daddy’s having financial troubles. Once the south vineyards yield, we should be okay, but in the meantime, he needs a loan to carry him through. It’s a well-guarded secret that he’s not as solvent as people think. On paper, though, there isn’t a bank that will touch his application.”
“Except Randall’s.”
She nodded. “It’s political. Linking mine and Randall’s name will look good on the application. He can push the paperwork through.”
“So, you’re collateral?”
She sucked in a breath. “It’s not like that. We were engaged before the loan came up.”
“I don’t get it, Jordan. Surely money isn’t that important. Not compared to tying yourself to someone you don’t love.”
“I never said I didn’t love him.”
“You never said that you did, either.”
The dissension welled in her again, the restlessness. How could she ex
plain to him that she didn’t have a choice? At least, not one she could comfortably live with. No matter what Tanner made her feel, no matter what she felt—or didn’t feel—for Randall, she wasn’t free to back out of the marriage.
“Daddy has always given me everything I could ever want. Maybe somehow I feel responsible for his shaky finances.”
“That’s bull and you know it.”
“No, I don’t. I need to do my part, Tanner. For Daddy...and for my horses.”
“The horses?”
“The stables are part of the estate. If Daddy loses the house, we lose the stables, too.”
“I thought you were planning to take the horses with you after your marriage.”
“Eventually. Randall wants to be certain they’re a sound investment before he follows through and builds stables.”
“He’ll guarantee a loan that’s not a sound investment, yet he won’t. take a chance on you? On your goals and abilities?”
“Daddy has a track record.”
“Not a very good one, obviously.”
“I know there’s no love lost between the two of you, but Daddy’s a good man.”
“Like Latrobe.” He gave a low snort. “I don’t know, Blackie, it sounds to me like the two men in your life have a habit of letting you down, not giving you enough credit.”
“Daddy’s never let me down,” she defended.
“He supports your dream?”
“Yes.” Mostly.
“Does your father foot the bill for the stables?”
“He did in the beginning. Now, it pretty much pays for itself. But it’s still more of a break-even proposition. It’ll be at least another year before I’ll realize any sizable profits.” She took a breath, trying to clear away the building tension. “I’m tired of taking, Tanner. It’s time I gave something back. And Randall will be a good husband.”
“Keep repeating that and maybe you’ll convince yourself.”
She closed her eyes, forgot to guard her words. “I wouldn’t need to convince myself if you hadn’t come back.”
He leaned forward, turned her face toward his. His eyes were intent, serious. “Don’t do it, baby. Don’t throw your life away.”
“I’m not. I just wish...”
“What?”
She shook her head. “That things were different. That we were different.”
“That I wasn’t from the wrong side of the tracks?”
It shouldn’t have made a difference, but it did in her family’s eyes. Her family wouldn’t accept a union like theirs. And she shouldn’t even be thinking about them as a couple in the first place. Too many people were counting on her to do the right thing.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “That attitude is so wrong. I hate it. But I don’t know how to change it, to change my father. I’ve never thought of you that way, Tanner.”
“Shh. Easy, baby. I know. You’re good clear through to the inside. So rare.”
When his lips touched hers, something close to desperation burst within Jordan. She wanted to rest against him, to climb right inside him, to be the woman of this man’s heart.
Her fingers trembled as she touched his smooth, bare chest. How many times had she dreamed of this? Of being held, of having the freedom to caress. To explore.
The muscles beneath his sleek skin were well-defined, so powerful. And even as she felt them bunch and flex, she knew his strength would never harm her. He represented safety, and longing...and love.
There was magic to be had in Tanner’s arms. And she wanted that magic, even if it was only for a day or a week, or simply mere minutes.
The wanting was like a storm raging inside her. Maybe it was wrong. But the pull was too strong.
There had been three possible kidnapping attempts in her hometown. Guns had been waved around. Threats had been made. Life as she’d known it no longer existed. There were no safe zones.
Except with Tanner.
He made her feel cherished.
He owned her heart.
That in itself put her in danger, but right now, she was willing to test that danger, to step into the storm and ignore the consequences. Who knew what would happen tomorrow? What life would hold? And because of that uncertainty, she could no longer deny herself—deny what they might share together.
She shifted against him, buried her hands in his long, silky hair.
“I just want the world to go away, Tanner.” Although desire spiraled, inexplicably, she wanted to weep. “Make love with me. I don’t want to hurt you, but...”
“The only thing that’ll hurt me right now is if I can’t have you. I’ve wanted you for so long, baby.”
“I never knew.” His words bolstered her, and she wound her arms around his neck. “It’ll be enough, won’t it?” She needed to convince herself as well as him. She wasn’t making promises; she’d already made those. To another man. And maybe that was a mistake, but it was done.
It might well break her heart, but she couldn’t stop herself from wanting Tanner. She needed him. Needed this. Once. For herself.
Soon enough she’d go back to thinking about everyone else’s needs.
Tonight, she selfishly decided, was for her needs.
Tanner stood and lifted her into his arms. It seemed like he’d waited a lifetime to touch her like this, to hold her. He felt his arms tremble, and knew it wasn’t from the exertion of carrying her. He could have carried twice her weight without breaking into a sweat.
“I don’t know if it’ll be enough, baby. I’m willing to give it a try, though. To find out.”
He wanted to beg her for promises, but knew he couldn’t. So, he’d take what she could give, for the moment. Just for this moment.
In his bedroom, he set her on her feet by the bedside and switched on the lamp. The sheets were tangled from his restless attempt at sleep before the puppies had given him an excuse to get up.
He saw her gaze shift to the mattress, then back to him, saw the hesitation in the way she licked her lips.
He’d expected cool grace when he got her in bed.
He hadn’t expected innocence.
“Don’t go shy on me now.”
Her lips trembled. “I think I’m a little scared.”
The admission charmed Tanner right down to his soul. “That makes two of us. I’m a lot scared.”
“You? I wouldn’t think anything could scare you.”
“You do.” With a single finger, he traced her throat, then ran his palm over the well-washed material of the T-shirt, cupping her breast through the cotton. Wanting to linger, afraid he’d rush, he gripped the hem of the shirt and slowly drew it over her head.
Wind rustled the leaves outside, carrying the scent of the lake through the open window. Tanner drew in a breath, inhaling the smell of nature and of Jordan. She was like a vision that he was afraid to touch, afraid she’d vanish.
“I knew you’d be perfect.”
Jordan nearly closed her eyes, but she didn’t want to miss a second of what was about to happen, didn’t want to miss anything about Tanner. The reverence in his quiet words rocked her unsteady foundation as nothing else could have.
A delicious quiver of excitement spiraled through her as he simply watched her. The heat of his gaze was like a physical touch.
“There’s nothing perfect about me.” But he made her feel that way.
“Let me be the judge of that.”
He spent a long moment tracing her lips with his, then moved lower—gently, reverently—cupping her breasts in his hands, sending her soaring. Her knees nearly buckled when his lips and tongue replaced his hands.
She grabbed his shoulders for balance, arched into him.
“Easy.” He moved upward to meet her gaze again.
She made a frustrated sound deep in her throat and wrapped her arms around him, pressing her breasts to his bare chest. Skin to skin, the friction was almost too much.
Desire whipped through her like a hot desert wind as he cupped her bot
tom and pulled her firmly against him. She felt his fingertips like a brand through the thin barrier of cotton.
“Oh, Tanner... hurry.”
His fingers hooked in the waistband of her shorts. “No way, baby. None of us know what tomorrow will bring. We’re gonna make this last.” He sucked in a breath when she at last stood naked before him. “The reality’s better than the fantasy.”
“What?” She could hardly think. His steady, intense gaze absorbed her, made her burn and throb and ache.
“You. Naked. It’s been pure torture watching you this past week, that sweet body covered by cotton... without a stitch on underneath. You don’t know how many times I’ve wanted to peel those shorts off you.”
“I bought underwear.”
“Yeah, but the damage had been done. I still imagined the way you looked in my shorts, without panty lines...and no bra.” He cupped her breasts, his eyes going impossibly dark. He looked sexy and dangerous, so unconventional with all that swinging hair; like a warrior, a conqueror.
Through hot, intense eyes that gave away little of what he was thinking or feeling, he watched her, thrilling her.
Her heart pumped and her mouth went dry as dust. This was what she’d been waiting for—a man who looked at her just this way, with a heated gaze so compelling, so powerful, so exclusive, it might well have been a physical touch.
His gaze shifted, in a slow, thorough once-over, from the top of her head to the tips of her bare toes. Like a raging firestorm, it swept a path of licking flames, leaving her exquisitely sensitized.
And if a mere look was that powerful, she could hardly imagine what those big, strong, scarred hands would be like.
Touching her all over. Arousing her.
She didn’t have a lot of experience with men, could count her intimate relationships on the fingers of one hand. Again, as she had a week and a half ago at the bar, she had to wonder if she was woman enough to handle this man.
One thing was for certain—she was determined to find out. Soon. Before she turned into a quivering puddle at his feet from the scorch of his sensual gaze.
“I have this fantasy,” he murmured, his voice low and rough.
Her heart quaked. Yet, for the life of her, she couldn’t find her voice.