“Maybe you should wait with your sister,” Dad said, his arm around my mom’s shoulders.
“What’s going on?” I walked closer, my fingers running over the edge of the bed, keeping my eyes on his wrapped head. Freddie’s right arm moved, his fingers twitching. I grabbed them and curled my own around them. The only thing I could make out was his brown eyes and lips, which seemed to have a gash running through the left side.
“They just re-bandaged me. You missed the unveiling,” he said, his voice hoarse. The emotion I’d been holding back bubbled in my throat and finally erupted along with the tears I’d been holding back.
“I didn’t think you were going to make it.”
“You thought I was going to miss your birthday?”
“You could’ve died,” I whispered. “For years, I had gone to sleep praying that you’d make it back home from your deployments, and then this happens in our own soil? It isn’t okay, Freddie.”
“I was working.” He squeezed my hand harder.
“You need to quit. We can’t lose you. I can’t lose you. Miles can’t lose you.” The lump in my throat got bigger. I used my free hand to wipe my face. “Please don’t go back there.”
He didn’t respond, but his hand shook in mine, and I took that as confirmation that he wouldn’t.
“Will you . . . how’s your spine?”
“I’ll be walking in no time,” he said, “Look at my foot. I can wiggle my toes and everything.”
“Stop it, Freddie.” I swallowed thickly, unable to find humor in his words. I eyed the bandages. “What happened to your face?”
“Just a little scratch.”
Mom let out a loud sob behind me and I knew little was probably not the word for it. Selfishly, I didn’t care because the fact remained that my brother was alive.
* * *
I got home at five, just as Ray, the tutor, was leaving the apartment, and he caught me up on what he had just been working on with Miles. Then I set my things down and walked into the kitchen. Miles spotted me first, smiling wide and running over to me with open arms.
“I missed you so much,” I said into his hair. “How was tutoring?”
“Good, and Ray brought me this.” He held up a little square with colorful shapes. “It’s called a Tangram.”
“That looks very cool.” I kissed him on the cheek and turned to Rowan, who was wearing my Minnie Mouse apron. He hadn’t tied it behind his back, probably because it was too small. I laughed as I walked over to him.
“You look cute.”
He shot me a look. “I have a meeting with my lawyer in a couple of hours and I didn’t want to get dirty.”
He reached down and kissed me softly. I looked in Miles’s direction on instinct and sure enough, he was looking right at us. To my surprise, he was smiling. He went back to the little colorful square thing.
“What kind of meeting?”
“Divorce stuff,” he said and then grinned wide. “But Sam and I are officially the owners of Hawthorne Industries.”
“Oh my god!” I threw my arms around him. “That’s so awesome. Why are you not excited?”
“I am.” He exhaled. “I didn’t exactly want this to go through before the divorce, but I’ll live. My lawyer found some loopholes in case Camryn starts harassing me for the company.”
“Oh. I didn’t even think of that.”
“But hey, I own the company. I’m happy about that.” He smiled.
“Me too.” I smiled.
The divorce needed to be out of the way and everything would be settled. My stomach clenched at the mere thought of how long it could take. If Camryn wanted to be a real bitch, she’d drag it out. For all of our sakes, I hoped she was seeing her Wall Street guy and envisioning a future with him. Just thinking about that made me angry. Here she was making Rowan jump through hoops to get out of the agreement when all the while she was shacking up with another man. An uneasy feeling settled in the pit of my stomach. I told Miles to go and play while Rowan and I finished making dinner. Not that I was doing anything, but Miles didn’t point that out.
“Did you ever give Camryn an indication that you may be in love with her?” It pained me to get the words out. Rowan’s brows pulled in.
“Never.”
“You never—” I swallowed, clearing my throat. “Slept with her?”
He put the spatula down and turned to me, his handsome face crumbling a bit. That was the only answer I needed. I was almost glad he was wearing that ridiculous Minnie Mouse apron.
“Tessa, it was only—”
I put a hand up. “I’m sorry I asked.”
“It happened once. I was drunk and—”
I shut my eyes. “You were married for nearly four years. I didn’t exactly expect you to become a monk or stay faithful to the idea that maybe, possibly, we’d—”
“But I did.” He stepped closer, his hand coming up to tilt my chin. “It was a stupid, one-time mistake, and I can’t take it back, but I swear I never led her on. I never led her to believe we’d ever become anything real. I was waiting for you. I was planning for you.”
“To be honest, I don’t think I would care if you’d slept with other women. It’s the Camryn thing that gets me,” I said quietly. “The thought of her getting you all those years . . . I hate it. I can barely stand to think about it.”
Rowan brought his lips down to mine softly, his thumb brushing my jaw as he held my face. “I understand,” he said. “I feel the same way about you and other men, but I’m yours. I have always been yours. I will forever be yours.”
His words lifted the weight from my chest. I walked over to the table and started setting it while he finished plating the food.
“We need to talk about a few more things,” he said, coming over and setting Miles’s Lion Guard plate and a salad on the table first.
“What?” I went back and served us glasses of water.
“You have my son taking Singapore math tutoring for kicks?” He glanced at me as we walked by each other, heading in opposite directions.
“He likes it.”
“He isn’t even four.”
“He’ll be four soon enough.”
“Tessa.” He stopped and stared at me. “Singapore math? I had to google it to see what the hell it was when the tutor got here.”
“My roommate in college took Singapore math since age three, and she was a genius. Like, a real genius. She’s probably discovering the cure for cancer as we speak.”
“You know who else was also a genius? Bill Gates. Do you think he took Singapore math?”
I shrugged. “I haven’t read his autobiography.”
“Tessa.”
I crossed my arms. “I’m not taking him out of tutoring because you feel like he needs to do more boyish things.”
“Are you saying this because you don’t feel like I can make decisions in our son’s life or because you genuinely want him to spend his time doing math?”
I opened my mouth and closed it, frowning. A little bit of both, I realized. He had just waltzed into our lives. For me, it was different because I knew Ro. I’d known him my entire life and had been in love with him most of it as well. Miles just met him. Yes, that was his son, but it didn’t change the fact that Rowan was new in his life. He was just a boy.
“Miles,” I called out. “Television off. Wash your hands and come sit down, baby.”
He groaned but switched the television off and sulked as he walked to the bathroom. I was glad he hadn’t chosen this moment to argue about it because I wasn’t sure I could handle two Hawthorne boys bickering at once. Rowan walked over to me, blocking my path and placing his hands on either side of my body, effectively caging me in.
“You didn’t tell me he was my son.” His voice was incredibly low. “You stripped me of the rights a present father has. I understand your reasons. I do. I even partially agree with them, but don’t think I won’t push until you give me my rightful place in this house.”
�
�I know.” I lifted my hand to his face, the scuff on it tickling my palm. “That isn’t fair of me and I’m sorry. I’ll try to be better about that.”
He kissed my palm. “We both have work to do.”
“I agree, but the tutor stays.” Time seemed to suspend as we looked at each other. I was only aware of the heat of his body against mine and the desire in his eyes as he looked at me. Desire we couldn’t act on with Miles about to walk into the room. “Do you miss your house?”
His brows pulled. “What?”
“Do you miss being home?”
“I miss having all of my clothes,” he said. “Why?”
“Just wondering if you’re ready to go home yet.”
His lips twitched. “You think I’m going back there without you?”
“Well—”
“I won’t be going home and staying there unless you’re willing to pack up and come with me.”
“I can’t just—”
“Marry me.”
My heart stopped beating. “What?”
“Marry me.”
“You’re already married.”
“As soon as I get out of this bind, I want you to marry me.”
I laughed, shaking my head. “This is absurd.”
“Is it?” He pinned me with a look that made me question my own words. “What’s stopping us from being together?”
“Your marriage to Camryn.”
“Aside from that, smart ass.”
“That’s a big factor.”
“I’m taking care of that,” he murmured, bringing my hand to his mouth and kissing it.
“I don’t know,” I whispered.
“Do you want to make this work?”
“Yes.”
“Okay then. It’s settled.” His eyes lit up mischievously. I shook my head. “Oh, and Cody needs to go.”
“What? Go where? What are you talking about?” I couldn’t remember the last time I’d spoken to Cody.
“I was talking to Miles about going to Joan’s cottage and he asked me if Cody could come with us. I want him out of the picture.”
I pulled back and stared at him. “You’re serious.”
“As a fucking heart attack.”
“Oh my—” I laughed. It felt so good. “Cody isn’t a threat to you and you know it.”
“Of course, I know it. That doesn’t mean I like him around.”
“He’s in the fashion industry, Ro.”
“So am I. You don’t see me trying to get in every woman’s pants every two seconds.”
“Rowan.” I rolled my eyes. “I don’t think it’s necessary, but if it makes you feel better, I’ll tell him you and I are together.”
“For good.” He shot me a pointed look. “Tell him we’re getting married.”
I bit my lip to keep from laughing. “I’ll make sure to send him an invite to the wedding.”
“See? Now we’re on the same page.”
I laughed loudly but sobered up at the serious expression on his face. I still hadn’t officially told Miles about Rowan, mainly because I wanted to do it when it was just the two of us. I didn’t want Rowan to be around in case Miles said anything that might unintentionally hurt him and I wanted Miles to know that he was still my number one, my baby boy, and no one would ever take his place in my heart. Rowan tilted my chin again. I met his gaze.
“If I wasn’t in this sham of a marriage and I asked you, would you say yes?”
“Maybe.” My heart swooshed in my ears.
“Would you have said yes four years ago?”
“Absolutely.”
“I’m going to make it so that your maybe turns back into an absolutely.”
“Okay.”
He pulled back and finished bringing our food—spaghetti with meatballs—to the table. It was delicious. We sat at the table and had dinner like a normal family as he asked about Freddie. Of course, I gave him the watered-down version of what had happened in the hospital. I didn’t want Miles the worrywart freaking out over his uncle.
“What happened with Natasha?” Rowan asked as we ate.
“Oh my gosh! I got the contract! Well, Ryan needs to finalize the paperwork, but she agreed.”
“That’s incredible.” He smiled wide. “I lost count of how many times I tried to convince her to sell anything to me.”
“I guess you aren’t as convincing as you think you are.”
“I’ll show you how convincing I can be.” He winked. I felt myself flush.
He looked over at Miles who was watching the two of us closely. “You know, Miles is an excellent registrar.”
“Is that so?” I smiled at Miles.
“He even knows what produce items need to be in little baggies before being placed on a conveyer belt.” Rowan’s eyes shone with pride. I couldn’t stop grinning.
“Bananas don’t need baggies,” Miles said.
“What about grapes?” Rowan asked.
“Grapes come in a baggie, silly.” Miles giggled.
“What about apples?”
Miles tilted his head. “Apples . . . don’t, but it’s messy.”
Rowan chuckled. “You don’t want to drop your apples everywhere, right?”
“Right.”
“What about kiwi?” I asked.
“Baggies,” Miles said quickly.
We went on like this for the next thirty minutes, joking about grocery store items, and despite my exhaustion and the worry I was carrying around for Freddie, I felt whole, and as I looked at Rowan, I realized that if he asked me to marry him right then, I’d say yes, no question.
Chapter Thirty
Rowan
The meeting with my lawyer went as well as I’d hoped. Camryn finally filed her response and asked for more money, as I expected. While my lawyer suggested I try to get her to come down and agree on a smaller settlement, I said no. I’d give her whatever she wanted as long as she let me walk away from this. It was that thought that had me walking a little lighter the next morning as I took Miles to daycare. Tessa went to visit Freddie at the hospital before work, but said she’d be home early enough to pick up Miles from school and take him to karate. She didn’t want to overwhelm me with things, she’d said, as if my child would ever be a burden to me.
“You know Daeshon with the Spider-Man book bag?” Miles asked as we walked hand in hand.
“I have no clue who Daeshon is.”
“He said his mommy and daddy live with him.” He glanced up at me, squinting against the sun. My heart thrashed in my chest. “Are you going to live with us forever?”
My heart jumped. Tessa hadn’t told him that I was his father yet. I’d been giving her time and with everything going on with Freddie it wasn’t really a priority. “Do you want me to live with you forever?”
“Yes.” He gave a nod. I loved the way he pronounced his s like sh.
“You really want me to live with you forever?” I stopped walking and lifted him into my arms with a grin. “Do you think your mom will say yes?”
“Yes.” He nodded again. “She loves you.”
“She loves me? Did she tell you that?”
“No. I can tell.”
“How can you tell?”
He shrugged. “I know Mommy.”
I chuckled, gave him a kiss on the cheek, and then carried him the rest of the way to school, which was only half a block.
“Behave, learn, and be kind to everyone,” I said, setting him back on his feet and straightening his sweater. He smiled wide, giving me a nod.
“What the fuck is this?”
A cold wave of dread trickled down my spine at the sound of Camryn’s squeal behind me. On instinct, I grabbed Miles and pulled him into my chest, shielding him. I glanced up.
“What are you doing here?”
“You have a son?” she shouted. “Are you fucking kidding me?”
“Camryn, I’m only going to ask you this one time, please get away from here.” I made my voice as calm and clear as possible and then ca
rried Miles against my chest until we reached his teacher. “Please take him inside.” I looked at Miles, whose eyes were wide and clearly scared. I kissed his forehead, saying, “Everything is okay, buddy, just go inside with Ms. Porter.”
She must have seen how worried I was, because she picked him up into her arms and walked right in.
Camryn continued screaming, “You thought you could hide this? You thought you could keep him from me? Who the hell do you think you are?”
I walked over to her, trying my best to keep my composure. Never in my life would I hit a woman, but with the way the rage building inside me was making me shake, I couldn’t be sure. I fished out my phone and called the police to tell them where I was. By the time they got here, they’d either have to take her or me, but one of us would leave in a cop car. I stepped out of the school gates and heard her scream some more. She looked like a lunatic, completely unlike the pacifist, well-composed Camryn I’d always known. I made my way down the street, away from the school, hoping she’d follow. The last thing I needed was to grab her by the arm and have her claim I was mistreating her.
“What is your problem?”
“My problem?” she seethed. “My problem is that I knew something was going on when you agreed to the demands I gave my lawyer, but I didn’t expect this. Whose is he?” Her voice rose with each word.
Finally, a patrol car pulled up. I waved the officer down.
“He is a cheating, lying scum!” she screamed as the police officer rushed over to us.
I explained the problem to the police officer, making sure he knew she did this in front of the students and teachers of the school.
“We’ll have to file an incident report,” he said calmly. Camryn began to cry loudly. The officer’s partner, a woman, came over and asked more questions. I answered them all—the child was mine, not hers, I was in the middle of a divorce, etcetera.
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