by Lola St. Vil
“And you give it to them?” I ask.
“I give the Demons a ‘lite’ version of the mixtures they ask for. It can cause damage, but not enough to harm Angels.”
“And the Demons don’t go after you for that?”
“That’s why I close my shop afterwards and go on vacation. This year, I want to go somewhere I can meet a quality girl. I would go to Atlantic City, but I’ve outgrown that place. I’m much more mature now. I’m thinking of Las Vegas.”
“I don’t think that’s where you’ll find a ‘quality’ girl, Tony.”
“You’re right; a booze cruise to Mexico it is,” he says happily.
“Okay, well, before you sail off, I need you to find someone for me.”
“Who?” He asks.
I give him a name. Tony asks why I’m looking for this being.
“It’s a private matter,” I reply.
“Okay, I’ll see what I can do.”
“Thanks, Tony.”
“Oh, hey, Emmy?”
“Yeah?”
“Did Marcus really throw you out of the villa?”
I really hate Traveler Angels.
“Yes, he did,” I reply in a whisper.
“Good for him,” Tony responds. He says is so softly, I’m not sure I heard him right.
“What did you say?” I ask.
“I said it’s good that you are away from danger,” he replies.
“Oh. Thanks.”
I could have sworn he said…
“Okay, I’ll get back to you if I find the person you’re looking for.”
“Not ‘if,’ Tony. I need you to make this happen.” I reply firmly.
“What do you want with this being?” He asks.
“Ammunition.”
“For who?”
“Bianca; I’m going to put her down like the vicious dog she is.”
For the first time in my life, I’m not only on time for school; I’m half an hour early. It feels weird to be in the halls of Livingston Academy. I’m like some kind of alien sent down to study “normal” human teens.
I look around the halls and see a parade of fashionistas, jocks, cheerleaders, gadget junkies, and everything in between. All around me people are kissing, texting at inhuman speeds, cramming for exams and fooling around.
As I make my way to my locker, a few people stare at me. Some whisper to each other and point. Not too long ago, everyone got the video of me naked in the shower, thanks to my ex-boyfriend, Lucas. I stare right back and ask them if I can help them with anything.
They just walk away; idiots.
I keep looking down the hall expecting to see one of the Guardians headed for me. When they first got here, we spent a lot of time in school. They stayed so they could protect me, but that’s all in the past. I did what I was supposed to do; I helped them find the Triplex.
So, now I’m free to go back to normal life.
It turns out “normal” requires work. I have two exams this morning and it takes all my focus to try and get a passing grade. Honestly, there were a few times when my mind strayed over to the Guardians and over to him. However, I don’t dwell on those times.
It is my job to move forward and I can’t do that if I’m always looking to the past. And yes, our past had some incredible, life changing moments like when “you-know-who” took me to see the Aurora Borealis in Alaska. He held me in his arms as billions of stars streamed across the colorful night sky. My heart drops as I recall what he said to me.
“I’ve tried to find words to make you understand that there is no doubt about us in myhead. I love you in ways Omnis has yet to understand. It was never like this with Ameana. It was never like this with anyone…”
It’s lunchtime so I head outside along with everyone else. I managed to say hello to a few people and have them say it back. They didn’t bring up the video and they aren’t talking about the Kardashians; so I’m sure they’re okay to hang out with. I buy a snack and head over to them.
“Emmy,” someone calls out a few yards away.
“Yes,” I reply as I turn to see who has summoned me.
You have to be kidding. I can’t get one “Mission” free day?
“Eta, what are you doing here?” I ask the pretty Indian girl headed towards me.
“I wanted to talk to you,” she replies.
“Look, I know the team is mad at me, but there’s nothing I can do about it,” I tell her, keeping my voice down.
“I didn’t come to discuss the team. I came to talk to you about Marcus.”
Something happened to him! Oh Omnis, please don’t let anything happen to him…
“What about him?” I ask, forcing myself to remain calm.
“I like you, Emmy; I always have, but running out on Marcus is pretty crappy.”
“Excuse me?”
“He has saved you over and over again. You can’t ignore him, just because he’s not acting like the perfect boyfriend.”
Is she really standing here telling me this?
It turns out, not only is Eta saying this to me; she’s not done speaking.
“I mean, really, Emmy…he has a lot on his mind right now. It’s not his fault he can’t put everything aside for you,” she insists.
Emerson, breathe.
“Look, Eta, I can’t talk about this,” I reply, as I turn to leave.
“How could you run out on him? He would never do that to you,” she accuses.
“Trust me, Eta, you do not want me to start listing the things that Marcus has done to me,” I warn.
“Well, I’m sorry, but maybe that’s what you need to do to remind yourself how good he’s been to you.”
“Are you fucking kidding me, right now?” I ask.
“He saved your life,” she reminds me.
“I saved his; what else you got?” I snap.
“When your mom died, it was his love that stopped you from drowning in grief.”
“When he was an addict, it was my faith that stopped him from being killed by his own team.”
“C’mon, Emmy, after everything that’s happened, you should trust Marcus with your life,” she begs.
“Oh, I do; I trust Marcus with my life, but not my heart.”
“Why are you doing this; you are ruining your perfect ending,” she cautions me.
“I keep telling you this is not a book. I am not a character in some fantasy romance novel,” I reply.
“I don’t care. You should be there for him, like he has been for you!” She barks.
“Okay, fine, but just tell me this: when is it enough? How much do I have to give over, in order to make this love work?” I ask.
“It’s never enough. It’s true love. You’re supposed to fight for it with your dying breath.”
“That’s what happens in books and movies. In real life, you love him and if it doesn’t work out, you move on,” I inform her.
“You’re not moving on, you’re giving up and he would never do that to you. Never.”
“You don’t even know us, Eta. All you know is what you have read. You have no idea what it’s like to stand in a room full of strangers and wait for a sign that means the guy you love has just fucked some other girl.”
“He didn’t have a choice!” She shouts.
“Yeah, I get that and you know what? I. Don’t. Care.”
“Seriously?”
“Yes, that’s right. For the first time ever, I don’t care why Marcus does what he does. All I know is that I’m tired of being number four hundred thousand on his list.”
“It’s not like you to be selfish; what’s going on?” She asks.
“What’s going on is I have a ring and Bianca has a husband. What’s going on, is Marcus told me he loved me then threw me out like milk that had gone bad. What is going on, Eta, is that Emmy is looking out for Emmy.”
“He only married Bianca because—”
“—I DO NOT CARE WHY!!!”
“Emmy, please try and—”
“
—I would love to pretend like I am strong enough to take everything that comes with being with Marcus, but I can’t. I can’t endure the back and forth, anymore. It hurts and I’m tired of hurting.”
“Emmy it can’t end like this for you and Marcus.”
“There is no ‘me and Marcus’. I can’t take it anymore. I’m not a super being with powers. I’m a person.”
“Emmy—”
“—I AM A PERSON!”
My outburst causes everyone outside to turn and look at us. I lower my voice and address Eta for what I vow will be the last time today.
“Eta, it’s time to find yourself a new story, because the ‘Marcus and Emmy’ saga is over.”
I’ve been at the gun range for a few hours, now. I thought I would need ID to get in, but the guy behind the counter could care less as long as I give him an extra twenty bucks.
I would rather shoot at club “Damned,” but this will have to do.
The power that surges through my hands as I squeeze the trigger is intoxicating. When I aim my gun at the target, it’s not the paper I’m aiming at; it’s the looming questions in my head.
How is Marcus? Where is he? Is he doing something foolish because he’s so angry?
Would he really take on the Paras? Does he need me, right at this moment?
I remind myself that these questions will not help me get any distance; and that’s exactly what I need from Marcus Cane, distance; but how do I get that? How do I make myself stop thinking about him altogether?
Just as I am about to shoot off another round, my cell rings. I almost didn’t take it, but at the last moment, I decided to answer. It’s from an unknown number.
“Hello?”
“Emmy, it’s Tony-Tone.”
“Did you find the being I am looking for?” I ask.
“Not yet, but I got this mixture from a friend. Well, actually, she’s not really a friend. I mean we had a thing, but she got kind of clingy. I mean, yeah, I wanted a relationship, but she’s into yoga and I’m not really—”
“—Tony!”
“Oh, sorry. Anyway, I found a mixture that I think could help you.”
“Help me how?”
“Well a Seller buddy of mine was mixing vials to come up with a necklace version of a Soul Chaser and yes, I know it’s forbidden, but hey. Anyway, he mixed up the wrong vials and accidently came up with what he’s calling ‘Blank.’”
“What’s ‘Blank?”
“It doesn’t suck out soul like it was supposed to, but he’s tested it on Pawns and it takes away emotional memory for humans.”
“I don’t understand.”
“He has found the human version of Gentum. It’s the anti-love potion.”
“Why do you think I need that?” I ask.
“C’mon, Emmy. It’s me, Tony-Tone. Knowing what my customer needs is part of the job.”
“No, thanks. I don’t want to grow six ears or something.”
“Stay right there, I’ll come over and show you.” Tony offers.
I tell him where I am and in ten minutes he appears on a Port in the alley beside the gun shop. He’s wearing his usual island t-shirt with gold chains and his salesmen smile.
“See, my service is quick,” he says as he gets off the Port.
“Let me see the Blank,” I reply.
He opens his hand and shows me the green liquid capsule in his palm.
“He put it in liquid form so it looks like any other pill the humans would take.”
“Are there any side effects?” I ask.
“If you were an Angel, yes; but for a human, nothing at all.”
“So I take this and then I don’t feel anything for Marcus?”
“Better, you take this and you don’t even recall ever having felt anything. You would be no more emotionally attached to Marcus than you would be to the grocery store clerk or the bus driver. So, what do you say? Do you want to stop loving Marcus?”
I head home with the Blank pill in my pocket. I have begged Omnis for a long time to stop the hurt. Maybe this is the way to do it. This should make me weak with happiness.
This is my chance to be free of him. I should be dancing in the street and screaming gleefully at the top of my lungs.
No more disappointment. No more being pushed aside or cast off. No more doubts about our love. I wouldn’t have to walk around pissed all the time. I could finally give myself the thing that I haven’t had since I met the First Guardian; genuine peace of mind.
So, why is it still in your pocket and not in your mouth?
That question rings in my mind over and over again as I head up the stairs to my apartment. Taking the pill would mean the end of my suffering, but it would also mean the end of the good parts, too.
Was there a good part to loving Marcus?
I can’t recall anymore. So much has happened since he first said he loved me. There have been so many tears shed and so many promises broken. How many times can I try to repair what we had?
It’s time, Emmy. It’s time to let go…
I enter the apartment, head to the kitchen and pour myself a glass of water. I open my palm and look at the green pill that will change everything.
Would you take it?
I sigh and stop asking questions. The time has come to be a grown up. The fact is, love alone isn’t enough. I open my mouth and say a silent “sorry” to the good memories I have with him.
Just as I am about to pop the pill in my mouth, I hear a loud “thud” sound just outside my front door. I put down the water, go over to the door and open it. I find the First Guardian on the ground, bleeding and lifeless.
CHAPTER TWELVE:
SOUL SEARCHING
Everything in my world stops. I crumble to the floor beside him and call out his name frantically. He didn’t answer me. I place both hands over the gaping wound on his right side, but it doesn’t stop the bleeding. My hands tremble as I apply even more pressure to the wound. Again, the blood continues to flow. It seeps through his clothes, spreading out all over the hallway and down the steps.
Don’t die. Don’t die. Don’t die…
His eyes are glazed over and his lips are a morose grey. He looks very much like Rio did, right before he died. I want to hold his beautiful face in my hands, but I’m afraid to take them off of his wound. I don’t know what to do. I just keep calling his name.
Don’t die. Don’t die. Don’t die…
“You’re gonna be okay, I promise.” I tell him as I reach for my cell.
My hands are shaking too much; I can’t steady my grip on the cell long enough to use it. I scold myself for not being more in control. Finally, I get a steady hold on my cell, but then I look at the screen and it asks me for my four-digit security code in order to unlock it. Normally, I punch in the code without hesitation, but right now, I’m drawing a blank.
“Damn it!” I scream.
The blood won’t stop, no matter how much pressure I apply with my free hand and Marcus remains just as still as Rio was, right before he...
Don’t die. Don’t die. Don’t die…
Mercifully, after five attempts, I input the right passcode.
“Don’t worry, Marcus, the team will be here soon, just hold on,” I tell him as I dial Miku’s number. Then for the first time, Marcus shows signs of life by muttering something.
Thank you Omnis, he’s alive. Thank you, Thank you.
I can’t make out what he’s saying so I lean in closer. He speaks in a voice so weak and fragile, it saddens me to the core.
“No team,” is all he can manage to say.
“What? But Marcus you need—”
I stop midsentence because Marcus’s eyes are now closed. He has either lost consciousness or he’s dead. I decide he’s lost consciousness, because I can’t deal with the other possibility.
“Okay, before we do anything we need to get you out of this hallway,” I tell Marcus as if he can hear me.
I wrap his arm around me and try to move him. No
rmally, this would be an impossible task, but adrenalin is coursing through my veins. While I can’t pick him up, I am able to drag him. This takes every ounce of strength I have, but finally I get him inside.
I know the sofa would make him more comfortable, but I’m too weak to get him there. I look down and the wound is still seeping blood. I take my shirt off and press against it, but it makes no difference. In seconds, my shirt is soaked. He must be bleeding somewhere else on his body, but I can’t find where.
I want to call the team, but Marcus wants the team to be kept out of it. I would call them anyway, but the desperation that was in his voice makes it hard to go against his wishes.
Thankfully, an idea quickly comes to mind. I take a deep breath, make a call and hope to Omnis I’m not too late.
“Tony, help me!” I shout the moment he picks up.
“What’s going on?” He asks.
“It’s my fault. He needed me and I didn’t…I’m so sorry…he’s not moving... I’m sorry Marcus, I’m so sorry…” I blurt hysterically.
Tony is confused and has no idea what I’m talking about. I know I need to be strong for Marcus and help him, but how?
You can start by not being “Emmy” about this. Now, grow up. Take charge and deal.
“Emmy, what is happening?” Tony asks again.
I exhale and calmly explain the situation to Tony.
“Are his wings completely still?” Tony asks.
“No, there’s movement, but very little.”
“That means he’s still alive, Emmy.”
“Okay, okay, that’s good,” I say, mostly to myself.
“Marcus is the First Guardian; he’s not easily wounded. Whatever hurt him has to be a very powerful weapon. Clear away the blood enough to get a look at the wound. Is it a circular wound or spiral pattern?”
I do as Tony says and for a few seconds I get a good look at the wound before the blood invades it again.
“Neither; the wound is jagged.”
“That’s not good.”
“What? What does that mean?”
“Are you sure the wound is jagged?” He asks.
“Yes, yes, it’s jagged. What does that mean?” I scream.