“Give me the phone,” Maggie said, and a moment later, I heard her much more clearly. “I still want to come, and maybe you wait and see what we have to do before you agree.” She gave me a nervous laugh. “Though I’m pretty sure you’ll enjoy the challenge.”
“Well, let’s play it by ear then, but you’re probably right.” I smiled as I wondered just what could be so challenging about what she wanted to do. “Anyway, we can talk about it after we go through the treatment plant.”
“Sounds good,” Maggie said, clearly pleased. “Cami wants to talk to you.”
“Put her on—”
“Roger,” Cami blurted before I could even finish my sentence. “I’m going to send you a list of things to write before we get there. It’s all stuff I identified from the documents Amy sent over. Easy fixes. That sort of thing.” My phone beeped, letting me know I had a message. “The rest we can talk about when we get there. Won’t be more than fifteen minutes.”
“Sounds great,” I agreed and then we said our goodbyes. I opened the message and got to work since there were a bunch of silly things like Make the piping in subsection C-13 good as new.
15
“I’m really not supposed to be drinking on the job, sir,” Brant said as I offered him the bottle of tequila.
“I’m your boss, and I said it was okay.” I shrugged. “Besides, you can just take one of Cami’s sobering pills. That’s my plan anyway.” I waggled the bottle at him. “Come on.”
“If you insist …” Brant replied, and I smirked because he’d barely required any arm twisting.
“Man, you barely put up any kind of fight about it. You were all ‘No, I can’t, well, okay, sure.’” I grinned as he took the bottle to pour our shots while I dug out the salt shaker. Only I couldn’t find it. “Um … you know where the salt shaker is?”
“No, you lost it, remember?” Brant grabbed a lime and a shot glass and offered it to me.
“That’s right.” I took the shot and the wedge and waited for him to pick up his own. “Always lookin’ for my lost salt shaker.” Yes, I sang it. Badly.
“I don’t think that’s how the song goes.” Brant raised an eyebrow at me.
“Copyrights are a bitch.” I clinked my glass to his. “Down the hatch.”
There was no salt, but the Patron went down like a fat girl on prom, and as I bit into the lime, I felt recharged like never before.
Brant followed suit, watching me closely, and when I didn’t gag or anything because I was awesome, he smiled at me. “Again?”
“For sure.” At my words, he went to pour us more because I was bored as fuck waiting for the girls in my limo. “Let’s get tanked and then get untanked and then do it again.” I took my shot from him. “Yay, science.”
I tossed the second shot back, and as the warmth enveloped me, there was a knock on my window. I pressed my face against it because, okay, I may have been slightly drunk because while this was Brant’s second shot, well, let me just say that you can’t have a bottle of Glenmorangie Signet and not drink the fuck out of it on the drive over.
“Roger, are you okay?” Cami asked as the door opened and I toppled lovingly into her enhanced bosom.
“I am now,” I mumbled, trying to regain my balance, but it was hard because my heart wasn’t really into it.
“Are you drunk?” Maggie asked, sashaying forward, and as I caught sight of her, she nodded. “You didn’t even wait for us.”
“Hey, hop on the party bus,” I said as I prided myself free of Cami’s giant anime breasts and gestured inside. “It’ll be fun.”
“I don’t know if we have time for that,” Cami said, biting her lip in thought.
“Look, the way I see it is you haven’t had enough to drink to properly assess the situation.” I pointed to Brant. “We need shots.” I nodded to the two women as I pulled them into the limo and found that I quite liked them sitting on either side of me. “They need to catch up.”
“But what about seeing the treatment plant?” Cami asked, but her heart wasn’t in it.
“I guarantee that will be ten times more fun drunk.” I nodded to them. “And like it’s eighty percent fixed anyway thanks to the notes you sent.” I leaned against her and kissed her neck, eliciting a coo from her. “We know how this is gonna go. You’re gonna be all ‘smart tech talk’ things, and I’m gonna nod and tell you to do what makes you happy—”
“Then Skynet,” Maggie added, shifting to raise her shot. “I’m with Roger. Fuck responsibilities. We can set an alarm to make sure we have time.”
“Yes!” I cried right before Maggie, the Irish goddess that she was, tossed her shot back and kissed me. And wow, that was just amazing because, well, kissing and alcohol. Then she grabbed my leg and rubbed her hand along it.
“You know, it’s been a long time since I gave you a checkup,” she said when we broke apart, her hand snaking up my leg in one quick, sensual motion. “I think I need to take a good hard look at it. Make sure everything is okay.”
“Um, this is where I go to the front and pretend the window is soundproof. I’ll also set an alarm, even though I think that might get me fired,” Brant said, or I think he said that because the next thing I knew I was alone in the back with Cami and Maggie.
“You’re not drinking,” Maggie pouted, glancing at Cami. “Why not?”
“Well, I was thinking about it.” She looked at the tray of shots Brant had left behind. “And I’m not sure I want to intrude. I mean you two haven’t had alone time for a while.”
“It’s not intruding if I want you here too,” Maggie said, right before she took another shot and kissed Cami.
“Today is going to be a good day,” I said as Maggie shifted so she could pull me toward her.
“Oh, I plan on it being good two, maybe three times.” Maggie kissed me hard before breaking away and pushing me toward Cami. “For both of us.”
“Fuck it,” Cami said, right before she kissed me while taking my hand and putting it on her crotch, so I could feel how wet she was. “We can check the plant later.”
“That’s my girl,” Maggie said right before she pulled off her top, revealing her spectacular breasts. Then she began grinding on my crotch while pushing me onto my back so that Cami could climb on top of my face.
“Oh yeah, just like that,” Cami moaned before Maggie cut her off with a kiss.
16
“Well, I don’t know about you guys, but I feel both refreshed and satisfied,” I said an indeterminant but respectable amount of time later, stretching in the back of the limo.
“And I love that you made the sobering pills taste like cherries,” Maggie beamed lovingly at Cami who flushed.
“And thanks to your contributions, Maggie, they also enhance the mind and body.” Cami smiled back. “It really was a team development.”
“Well, go, team!” Maggie said, doing a little bounce of joy before looking slyly between us.
“Now if only we had portable showers,” Cami said, tapping her chin. “It’s been on the list forever, but I just haven’t gotten to it yet.”
“I’ve got that one.” I smirked, whipping out my pen and writing the variation of a line I’d written more times than any other.
I, Maggie, and Cami are freshly showered.
Like magic, the three of us no longer smelled like sweat, sex, and chocolate. Don’t ask.
“Man, I love that pen,” Maggie said, stretching in a way that made her very naked breasts jut out tantalizingly. “It pretty much is responsible for all my favorite things.”
“I hear that,” Cami said, snuggling up beside me. “All my favorite things.” She nipped at my ear.
“If you keep doing that, we’re never going to get out of this car,” I said as her hand trailed down my abdomen.
“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” Cami replied as she gripped little me. “Because, I, for one, don’t think it is.”
“Oh, is it playtime again?” Maggie cocked an eyebrow at the two of us, one hand grippi
ng her bra. “Because honestly, I think we should just do this treatment plant thing as quickly as possible. Then there are no hard time limits.”
“I suppose you’re right,” Cami said, giving not so little me a last, wistful look. “Knowing we have to do stuff makes this a lot less fun.” She flushed a little. “Like I feel bad blowing off work to play.” She gave me a kiss on the cheek. “Man, I’m so lame.”
“You’re not lame, but let’s get this done anyway.” I glanced at the two naked hotties as they nodded. Truth be told, I wasn’t that disappointed because I knew we’d have time together later, and I was interested in surveying my new acquisition. Then I could put it to use. After all, how could I be a good evil overlord or whatever if all I did was have sex in the limo?
“Motion passed,” Maggie said as she put on her bra, which was always a terrible sight for me. Her breasts were really terrific. And natural. And terrific. “Operation No Pain No Gain in effect.”
We spent the next few minutes dressing, and when we exited the limo, I was surprised to find the sun had zoomed across the sky like Helios had downed six Red Bulls. A quick glance at my watch let me know it was almost two o’clock. And if I wanted to make my four o’clock with Ashley and Jane, I’d have to hurry.
The thing was, the moment we walked through the doors to the lobby, I knew we were in trouble.
Why? Because there was no receptionist. The left wall actually had a giant hole punched in the plaster, and the floor looked like it hadn’t been cleaned in a long, long time because there were muddy footprints on top of muddy footprints all over it. That, combined with the handprints all over the walls and windows and the one blind that was missing eighty percent of its slats, made me think the maintenance budget wasn’t quite what it should be.
Even still, as we made our way to the front, I hit the little bell on the empty desk anyway.
“I’m honestly not that surprised it didn’t work,” Maggie said, scrunching up her nose as she surveyed the lobby. “Also, I expected it to smell bad, but this smells more like, well, rot and body odor.”
“You know, I’ve been working on this new robot mop and vacuum design with an air purifier …” Cami trailed off as she looked around, clearly lost in her own little world. “I call it the robo-janitor.”
“This is how the machines take over, you know,” Maggie said, glancing at me and giving me a sly smile. “Sure, they start out obeying the three laws of robotics, but then,” - she smacked her hands together - “Skynet.”
“It’s always about Skynet with you people.” I shrugged. “And besides, I think they fixed that in Terminator 2.”
“Well, in Terminator Genisys, they explained that—”
“There are no Terminator movies after two,” I said, cutting Maggie off as I slowly made a fist in the air. “Search your feelings. You know it to be true.”
“Well,” Maggie said, giving me a wink. “I’ve been working on my Catherine Weaver cosplay, but if you’re not interested …”
“The Sarah Connor Chronicles may count,” I acquiesced, “but those aren’t movies.”
“Fair enough,” She sidled toward me. “But should you ever get the chance to hang out with Summer Glau, you’d better bring me along.”
“Ha, consider it a date,” I said, smirking. “Now, let’s figure this out because I really want to see that cosplay.” I poked my head into the hallway and found no one bustling to and fro, so I decided to follow the left fork.
The first three offices were empty and looked like who had been in them had just left in the middle of whatever. In fact, one had a coffee cup so covered in mold, I was sure we’d have to just burn down the room and rebuild it stronger, better, and faster.
The sixth office had a roach in it that went by Brett. Also, he smelled suspiciously like Axe body spray. He wasn’t working either. Just doing Crossfit, which seemed like a bad use of company time.
“Ick, a roach!” Maggie cried, clinging to me as we watched him scurry about. “Does smell good though. Like if I were an Angel, I’d wanna fall from heaven to smell him more.”
“I know, right,” Cami said, moving in beside me. “Like I just wanna throw my halo to the ground right now.”
“What are you doing here?” a voice growled from behind us, and I spun to find a disheveled guy wearing a black jumpsuit covered in grime. He had a long white Santa beard and a bald head, but his arms seemed muscular enough to strangle a donkey, you know, because that was totally the proper measure for a unit of strength.
“Hi,” I said, holding my hand out to the man. “I’m Roger Stevens. These are my associates, Maggie Cromwell and Cami Park.”
“Roger …” He scratched his beard. “Are you the guy who owns that drug casino?” He shrugged. “Not that I care. Blow makes everything better.” He smacked his thighs. “Why back in my day, some of my best weekends started with two girls and a bunch of blow.” He glanced at the girls. “I can tell you know what I’m saying.’”
“I’d have to agree,” Maggie said, taking a step forward before I could defend her honor. That, combined with Cami’s hand on my shoulder, let me know they’d somehow planned this with their psychic girl powers. “Roger is the new owner, actually, and we dropped in to see what’s what.”
“What’s what is we have no damned maintenance budget, and they expect ol’ Earl to just keep the place runnin’ with shoelaces and bubblegum like I’m Angus goddamned Macguyver.” He fixed his glare on me, but I could tell he wasn’t actually seeing me. No, he was gearing up for a rant of epic proportions.
“First, they cut out parts budget, and we made it work. I wasn’t born yesterday, and I had parts squirreled away. Then they claimed it worked and cut it down again, but news flash, jackasses, we used up all those parts before then. Now everything is super glue and duct tape.” He gestured at the hallway behind him. “Hell, half the lights don’t work, so you know what I do? I take one of the lights out from the working pairs and use it to replace one of the bad ones in the non-working pairs.” He snorted. “Like I can just make light.”
“That, um, seems like a major issue.” I stared at him for a moment, thinking. I’d meant plenty of guys like this before. Guys who really cared about their piece of the pie, but since that piece tended to cost money, it was ignored by management until there was a catastrophe.
“It is a major issue.” He snorted. Loudly. “A major fuckin’ issue and no one cares.”
“What about preventative maintenance?” Cami asked, raising an eyebrow. “You know, like—”
“We don’t have that. I mean, we used to, and I still put in the work orders, but they fired Chad six months back, and he was the last of the PM team. We used to have a team of ten to do preventative maintenance and repairs, but now, just me.” He smacked his hand across his chest. “Not that we’d have parts to fix something. The boss would tear off my head and shit down my throat if I replaced so much as a drop of oil before it started smoking.”
“This sounds like the absolute worst way to run a treatment plant. Waiting until shit breaks to fix it can easily cost ten times what it would to just do the PMs, and that isn’t even counting downtime costs.” Cami shook her head. “Roger, this isn’t going to work.”
“I hear you.” I nodded to her. “Maybe you go with Earl here and figure out what we need to do?” I waved a hand. “Go over the numbers with Amy, see what the budget is, and then get on with hiring people to take care of the equipment.” I took a deep breath. “Then give me a list of what needs an overhaul.”
“Right.” Cami nodded before hooking her arm through Earl’s. “What’s say you give a lady the tour?”
“I would, but my boss—”
“Where is your boss?” I asked, cutting Earl off as I looked around. “Him and I need to have a word or three.”
“If he ain’t buyin’ pussy on the company dime down at the Three Kitties, he’ll be down that way at the end.” He pointed down the hallway behind us. “The big corner office. It’s the on
e with all the Oregon Ducks stuff.” He snorted derisively. “I’m a Beaver man, myself.”
“I find myself a fan of the Beavers as well,” I agreed wholeheartedly, though I wasn’t quite sure if we were talking about the same thing.
“Hmm,” Cami said with a giggle. “Maybe I should cancel my Brazilian for this week then …”
“Oh, honey,” Maggie said, putting a hand on the scientist’s shoulder. “We both know a hardwood floor is much easier to clean than a shag carpet.”
“That is true.” Cami tapped her chin. “Guess you’re out of luck on that front, Roger.”
“Are they talkin’ ‘bout what I think they’re talkin’ ‘bout?” Earl was staring at me wide-eyed. “’Cause if they are, buddy, you got a damned good thing goin’ on.”
“Well, a gentleman never tells,” I said with a laugh as I turned back toward the hallway. “The one at the end?”
“Yep.” Earl nodded as I glanced back at him. Then he made a fist. “Give ‘em hell, Roger.”
17
As Maggie and I approached the closed door at the end of the hall, I heard muffled voices coming from the other side.
“For the last time, Mr. James, please don’t smack my ass.”
“Oh, you know you like it, McKenzie,” said a guy with a drawl just this side of sexual predator. “When you gonna admit it to yourself that what you’re really looking for is a real man.” There was the sound of footsteps.
“Sir, I’d rather just do my job.”
“Yeah, I think it’s time we reassess your duties if you know what I mean.” The sound of a zipper filled my ears an eyeblink before I shoved the door open.
The man didn’t even see what happened as I surged across the tile floor and smashed my fist into the underside of his chin, sending the fat fuck flying backward into a bookcase filled with Ducks paraphernalia. As he slumped to the ground, the whole thing collapsing down on top of his bulbous belly, I turned and smiled at the lady.
To Vegas with love Page 8