She tried to sit up. “Help me up.”
“You should lie still,” Arnold suddenly interjected. “You need your rest.”
“Don’t get up, Marg honey, just relax,” Delores insisted.“We were all worried sick about you. Arnold’s right, just lay back and don’t try to talk right away.”
“I’m in the hospital?”
“Detroit memorial.”
Arnold leaned over and kissed her on the forehead. His hand clutched hers more tightly. “The doctor says you should be just fine. You’re going to make a full recovery. They are going to discharge you tomorrow morning, in fact. But you’ll have to stay in bed at home for another day or two after that. If you don’t get some rest and just relax, you might have a relapse.”
“Any idea what caused you to have such a massive panic attack?”
The voice was instantly recognizable, like fingernails going down a chalkboard. Mother!
She sighed. “Hi mother.”
“Hi right back at you. Good thing you had the presence of mind to dial 911 before you blacked out completely. So what set you off in the first place?”
Marg turned her face to the side. “Not sure,” she answered, trying not to let on that she knew exactly why she had succumbed to her anxiety.
“You’re not a very good liar,” her mother said softly. “You surely know what upset you.”
“It was me,” Arnold confessed. “It seems she’s been waiting for me to get the fencepost out of my butt over whether or not we should get engaged. When you went to the press and said we were officially engaged, I realized Marg and I were both going to have to lie about our relationship to cover your tracks.”
Marg’s mother gasped at the realization her little exaggeration over her daughter getting hitched had caused everything to unravel into chaos. It had never dawned on her that her daughter and the heroic Arnold were not actually going to get married after all.
“I guess I misread how serious you two were about each other. Sometimes I think I should be just boiled in oil and have my damn big fat lips stapled shut.”
“It’s okay, mother. It’s nothing you said, honestly. I’m actually to blame. I’m the one that read things into our relationship that just weren’t there.”
“The hell you did,” Delores fumed. “Men here like Arnold are always taking advantage. They are always lying through their teeth, always leading us women on. I’m sure you’ve made love to him dozens of damn times in the short time you’ve been dating, for all the good it will ever do you. In the end he will probably just be like all the rest, moving on to fresh flesh and leaving your heart dangling on tender hooks while your shattered mind leads you into a damn nervous breakdown a hundred times worse than what you’ve just experienced.
“You’re rooting for me to have another breakdown?”
“No, I’m rooting for you, while you’re still in this damn hospital to have your head examined. I warned you against tossing your heart into his ring.”
“I don’t think you’re being fair at my intentions,” Arnold blurted out indignantly, smitten over being made to feel embarrassed.
Delores turned to face him squarely. “That’s just everybody’s problem in this whole sordid mess.No one has a clue of what your damn intentions are, do they? You act as though you and Marg getting married is a mere formality, and you have your way with her whenever, wherever and however the mood strikes, and you lie to the press and insist that you are going to get married to her real soon, only we all know better. By your own admission you have a fencepost the size of Alaska up your Grand Canyon backside. And once my beautiful and talented sister Marg here helps get you elected as mayor, what are you going to do then? Throw up your arms to the press and tell them that marrying Marg was only a big joke and figment of her imagination? And Marg is simply supposed to spend the next two months on the campaign trail making up stupid stories about some imaginary wedding in some imaginary love affair, only the love affair isn’t imaginary, is it? You’ve been leading her heart on mercilessly, taking her out into super deep waters, and eventually, when you do tell her to simply fuck off for good because you don’t need her anymore, what then? You men make me puke.”
“It not like that. I made no promises.”
“Ah, so here we go now, clinging to the comical ‘no promises made’ routine, laying the foundation for when you really are going to let her down with a mighty thud, only you’re not gonna tell her to vamoose until you get what you really want, which is the mayor’s chair.”
The words seemed to hang in the air like some rabid condemnation of Arnold and his seemingly impure motives.
He began to get red faced.“We’ve been dating, and we’ve been lovers. Who knows where it all might end up?”
“And I suppose you never told any of this to Marg while you were humping her over any piece of damn furniture you could find in between her putting in eighteen hour volunteer days, seven days a week so that her man could get his dream job.”
“Marriage. That’s all you women think about.”
“No,” Marg suddenly interjected. “That’s not all we think about. We also think about a guy leading us on and using us to achieve his goals. But the question you’re avoiding is a simple one. After you become mayor, what happens to me?”
“I don’t have a crystal ball.”
“Cute. And I suppose that when I walk in on some future secretary sucking your horny cock that has my fresh lipstick stains on it, that you’ll tell me a crystal ball told you to do it.”
“You’re blaming me for something I haven’t even done yet?”
Delores suddenly stepped toe to toe and nose to nose with him. “I’ve begged my silly sister here not to just throw herself at every dream guy that passes, because chances are he’s some emotional vampire in disguise, sucking away her heart’s lifeblood until she’ll end up being nothing but some empty shattered shell.I wish she had the backbone to make you put up or shut up.”
“What does that mean?”
“For a guy that seems to know all there is to know about becoming mayor, you seem not to know anything at all about anything else. It simply means to let her know where she stands. Are you in a long term relationship with her or are you just having fun, and getting your thrills? And if you are just getting your thrills, then you need to admit that and get them someplace else. She’s not some damn slab of meat to be used for your convenience.”
Marg picked up on her sister’s argument and decided to run with it. “Okay Arnold, maybe we ought to cool our relationship for a while until you can figure out which way you are going with me. And in the meantime, you can simply get yourself another campaign manager.”
“You’re not being fair. You can’t just quit mid-stream, all suddenly like that.”
“Why can’t I Arnold? Aren’t you the one that just finished saying, and I quote, ‘I made no promises?’ I’m sure that’s what I heard you say.”
“So that’s it then? You’re quitting my campaign?”
“And what if I am Arnold? Does that mean you’re quitting our relationship as well? Does that mean you’re just going to turn around and walk out that damn door and never look back? Because if that’s what it means, then you were simply using me all along. I thought we meant something to each other?”
“We do.”
“Other than me helping you become mayor? Obviously that’s all I am to you, a means to an end.”
“I never said that.”
“You never said a lot of things, like what you’re going to do with me long term. And that’s because you can’t, can you? There isn’t going to be any long term for us, is there?”
“I never said that either.”
“Then what did you say? You tell me? Only don’t go spouting that crystal ball shit again because I am definitely not in the mood.”
“I love you.”
“Really? Just three words tossed at me to placate my worry, and to try and keep me massaging the press while you keep your eyes firm
ly on the prize, and that is becoming mayor. But after that?”
A swirl of guilt, anger and bewilderment swept across Arnold’s worried, weary mind. She had made some pretty good points. Why was it so hard for him to even hazard a guess as to where she might stand after the election was over? He now supposed it was actually because he hadn’t given it much thought, or perhaps even any thought at all. He sighed. Had he really been that selfish and short sighted? Had he really only been using her? Was his definition of love something that was only going to last for another two months but not beyond? He had to begrudgingly admit to himself that she had every right to fully expect answers to those questions. Only he wasn’t giving her answers. He was saying he loved her without any of the specifics.
“Honestly Arnold,” Marg’s mother suddenly said. “I told the press you and my daughter were engaged because I honestly thought you were. You both seemed so damn happy and you both seemed so perfect for each other. It never dawned on me that such a relationship might only be temporary. But what is really important in all this is that the stress of her thinking she was going to lose you, made her collapse. She almost had a damn nervous breakdown. You lead her to believe you’re going to be by her side forever, and then suddenly, you act as if she’s just some off the cuff date, about to be replaced by the next flavor of the month.”
The sound of the room door opening startled them all.
A doctor in a long white lab coat walked in wearing a plastic smile.
“So how is my favorite patient doing this morning?”
“Hello doctor,” Marg’s mother said, adding, “she is going to be alright, isn’t she?”
“That depends on whether she’s going to be getting any rest or not. I heard raised voices out in the hall. The purpose of keeping her here overnight is so that she can stay calm and relaxed.”
He glared at the monitor recording her vital signs.
“Her blood pressure is way up and she seems in distress. I think it best if she were left alone for now, at least until tomorrow. We don’t want her passing out again and going into a relapse.”
“You’re saying we should leave her for now?” Marg’s mother asked.
“Ideally, yes.”
Delores was the first to kiss her on the cheek. “Bye sis. You take care. We’ll be right outside.”
“Nonsense,” Marg answered. “You fly back to Chicago to be with your family. I’ll be fine, honestly.”
“Shhh, just do as the doctor says and get some rest. We’ll at least stay until you fall asleep again, and then return in the morning.”
“A splendid idea,” the doctor said, still examining the monitor.
Arnold reached down and gave her a quick kiss on the lips before retreating his head hastily. He had moved far too quickly for her to turn her face away from his descending lips.
Her mother squeezed her hand. “As Delores said, we’ll be right outside.”
“We’ll talk later,” Arnold whispered, showing concern in his face over the fact she had almost passed out from the stress again. He knew that a lot of it was his fault.
“Fine, but when we do talk again, you make sure it’s something I want to hear.”
He left without uttering a remark or a rebuttal, and followed the two women out of the room.
“Just me and you left now, doc.”
“Not quite just me and you,” he responded, eying her carefully.
She glanced around. “Who else?”
“The baby you’re carrying, of course. You did know that you were pregnant, didn’t you?”
She was stunned and stared at him with saucer sized eyes of disbelief.
“Then I take it you didn’t know?” he asked.
Her eyes were suddenly dancing and wild. She had made love to Arnold early on in their relationship without the benefit of her birth control pills, and he hadn’t managed to pull out on time during their first night together. But after that night, she had picked up her pills and he made sure nothing further got inside until her pills took hold. Only she now realized she had been a day late and a dollar short. Their very first and only time not using her damn pills had come back to haunt her. And that was six weeks ago. Six weeks pregnant? If she did decide to stay in his campaign then she would surely start to show before it was over. Both press and voters alike would all know that the future mayor of Detroit had put her in the family way.
“Marg?”
“Huh?”
The doctor sighed. Obviously her mind was somewhere else.
The machine started going haywire. The unexpected news was sending her blood pressure sky rocketing and her pulse racing. She was actually starting to pant. He noted a sudden surge of salty sweat beginning to form on her brow.
“Please, try to stay calm. You don’t want a relapse.”
She rolled her eyes at the ceiling. Suddenly it was all coming together. She had vomited and felt nauseous, no doubt attributable to morning sickness from the pregnancy she had no clue she had.
“I’ll be okay, doc,” she said softly, her mind churning in a dozen directions. “It’s just a lot for me to digest right now.”
He nodded and clasped her hand, taking her pulse manually while flashing a light into both of her stunned brown eyes. Then his emergency pager began going off. He was needed desperately elsewhere. “I’m going to go get the nurse to bring you a sedative and then I want you to go back to sleep, do you hear?”
“Promise doc, but please don’t mention to anyone that I’m expecting.”
He nodded, then smiled, then left.
She sighed. Pregnant? Fucking really? She now wondered what the consequences might be. How would Arnold react? Would he be delighted? Or would he be upset?
She mulled over her own feelings. She had always been desperate to one day have a baby, only she didn’t want it unless she was married. But time had been marching on. If she were going to have a kid, then now was certainly the time to do it. She wasn’t getting any younger. And at thirty-three, she couldn’t wait too much longer. She shook her head in anguish. At the rate men were passing her by, and proposing to everyone else but her, would she ever get married? And at what age? Who wanted to have a child at age forty-five? Or even forty? She sucked in her breath and made the conscious decision to keep the baby, even though it would be so much easier to just get rid of it. But if fate had conspired to give her that baby she always wanted, why not relish the moment? Even if it was going to be bittersweet? She was now determined that come hell or high water she was going to keep it. And even with that damn fence post up his butt, Arnold was going to be a father whether he liked it or not.
She now wondered when she should tell him, or even how she should break the news. Or should she even break the news to him any time soon at all? The last thought seemed silly, and she almost sarcastically chuckled over it. Not tell him he was going to be a father? How could she not tell him when she was going to be showing by the time he took the mayor’s chair? Trying to hide such a thing, even if she could, made little sense to her. In the first place, she now wondered if a baby might actually even push him closer to marrying her. At the very least it would tie him to her permanently. And it would obligate him to start tossing money her way. She was legally entitled to receive financial compensation from him for the growing seed she was carrying. Why shouldn’t he pay? It was, after all, his baby? She now smiled wryly. If he had been planning to dump her after the election, then he was in for a rude awakening. That would be when their new relationship as the child’s parents would be just beginning. She pondered the circumstances. His ex-wife had been unable to give him children. Surely a baby now would get him to cough up an engagement ring, would it not? Her mind began to churn in every direction. Normally she would be wroth with herself for making such a colossal blunder at getting pregnant. But she now wondered if such a curse might not actually be a blessing in disguise. She knew in her heart of hearts that Arnold walking away from her would not be as easy now as it would have been if she were
not pregnant. Still the timing of when to tell him was important. It could still be that he might end up committing to a long term relationship even without knowing about the baby. He had, after all, just a few minutes earlier assured her that he loved her. Perhaps he really did love her a whole lot? She suddenly made the conscious decision that she was not going to stop campaigning for him after all. She would remain by his side, and do all she could to get him elected. Her baby, after all, needed a well off father. And she certainly needed a well off husband. She pursed her lips at the realization that if she played her cards right, anything was possible. But for now, she would say nothing about the child.
XXX
Arnold walked briskly, having a bounce in his step over Marg’s latest phone call telling him she was definitely going to stay on for good as his campaign manager. The press loved her, and seemed to hang off every genius word to exit her ultra-pretty lips. But there was much more to it than just that, a sort of recognition deep down that his feelings for her were far stronger than he realized. The thought of possibly losing her had scared the shit out of him, and knocked the wind out of his sails. But now he was on cloud nine. She seemed happy and determined. And she was no longer whining about long term commitment nor blackmailing him about having to produce an engagement ring or else. Their relationship was on its way back to being sexually intense, and yet light and airy otherwise at the same time.
Marg’s first order of business since coming out of the hospital, had been to re-organize the rally for the restaurant that was closing. She had taken out an ad in a local newspaper asking for a hundred volunteers to pledge they would eat lunch at that eatery for a whole year, thereby giving it enough financial support so that it wouldn’t close down. The results were unbelievable. With the press in a frenzy and clearly on her side, she had managed to garner five hundred names. The next day the restaurant was so busy that the thankful owner had to run out and hire two new chefs, three new dishwashers, and five new waitresses. The local headlines were quite gratifying. “Arnold’s team saves a local business, and not only saves their twenty jobs, but adds ten new ones.”
As Time Goes By: A BWWM Interracial Romance Page 6