I jumped off Lucky and ran up my stirrups. The grumpy looking groom came over to take him from me.
“I can take care of him if you like,” I said.
I wasn’t used to just handing my horse off to someone else. It felt wrong but she clutched the reins and wouldn’t let them go.
“It’s my job,” she mumbled and whisked Lucky away before I could do anything about it.
I wandered up and down the barn looking at the horses in their stalls. Wondering what my life would be like if my barn had a chandelier hanging from the ceiling and was only a bridle path away from one of the top winter show grounds.
Our barn wasn’t even finished and after the last storm the roof had started to leak. It was falling down around us and there was my father, sitting in his truck taking a nap. He could have brought Canterbury. No, he should have brought him. This was the kind of place where people paid big bucks for horses. Dad kept talking about selling him so we could finish the farm but then never did anything about it. It made me wonder if he was even serious about selling the horse or making our farm amazing at all. Part of me thought maybe he was just content with it the way it was because then he wouldn’t have to try as hard. With people like Walter Grey to compare to, maybe he was right.
As I was leaving a girl walked past me. She had that same cold stare that Jess did, looking me up and down like I was a piece of meat.
“Are you new?” she said.
“No, I’m just leaving,” I replied as I walked away. I didn’t want to get into a fight with another Jess clone who thought I didn’t belong.
“Wait,” she called out after me. “You rode Amanda’s horse, Lucky, right?”
I looked at her, all perfect makeup and expensive show clothes, sure that one of the million dollar horses in the barn probably belonged to her. I couldn’t trust her. I couldn’t trust anyone but she’d find out anyway. All she’d have to do was ask Martin or the other groom.
“Yes,” I said. “So?”
“You lost, didn’t you?” she said.
“Yes,” I said, biting my tongue to stop myself from saying something nasty I’d regret.
“Pulled the last rail? Horse had no gas left in the tank?” She stepped closer. I could smell her musky perfume thick in the warm air.
“How did you know?” I said.
“You were meant to lose. You were set up,” she said quietly.
“Why are you telling me then?” I said. “You don’t even know me.”
“I’ve seen you around,” she said. “You have the scrappy chestnut pony and that pretty gray gelding.”
I nodded, surprised that this girl would even know who I was or what horses I rode.
“Even we don’t go to rated shows all the time. Have to have some place where they won’t do random drug tests and people turn a blind eye to certain questionable training methods,” she said.
“What training methods, what are you talking about?” I said.
“If you don’t know then you’re not ready for the big league,” she said. “And I’m not about to rat out every dirty little secret my trainer has. Not while he’s still being good to me anyway.” She sighed like suddenly she was bored with the whole cloak and dagger routine. “Anyway just thought you should know, just in case he asks you back, that you are the sacrificial lamb.”
“I’m no one’s lamb,” I said angrily.
“Good.” She shrugged as she walked off. “Then maybe next time you’ll win.”
CHAPTER THIRTY SEVEN
I got in the truck and slammed the door as loud as I could. Dad woke up with a start, looked at me and then sighed.
“Thanks a lot,” I snapped.
“You’re welcome,” he replied.
“I was being sarcastic,” I said.
“I know.” He started the truck and pulled out of the parking lot.
“Didn’t you care about coming to watch me ride? I needed your help,” I said.
“No you didn’t.” He sighed again.
He was right, I didn’t but I wasn’t about to tell him that and maybe if he’d seen me ride, he would have been able to confirm my suspicions that the horse had been drugged before I rode him and that the girl at the barn had been right. I was set up to lose.
“You know most teenage girls would be happy that their father stayed in the truck,” Dad said.
He was right again.
“Well you’re not just my dad, are you,” I said. “You’re supposed to be my trainer too.”
“Did you win?” trainer dad said.
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
I guess neither dad was going to win today.
I looked out of the window as we passed other fancy farms like the one Walter was renting. It was the sort of life I could only dream about but then again when I’d been without a horse at all, the life I had now would have been more than enough. It would have been a dream come true. Why was it that when we got what we wanted, we always wanted more? Why couldn’t I just be happy with my tumbledown farm, going to schooling shows and riding any horse that came my way? It was because I wanted to be the best. I knew I had that drive in me to win. To make it to the top and you didn’t make it if you were happy to just ride around and not improve yourself and your horses.
Dad was quiet, letting me stew in my own fury. In a way I wished he’d just tell me off for being rude and sarcastic but he didn’t, which wasn’t like him at all. Eventually the fancy farms faded away to less fancy ones where the fences were lined with electric tape like ours to keep the horses in and there weren’t million dollar horses out grazing, just regular ones, though they were no less beautiful in my eyes. Finally, there were no horses at all, just fields with barbed wire and cows.
“You know,” Dad finally said. “Cat was telling me about that horse that you used to ride. The one that Jess has now?”
I clutched the armrest, wishing that it was Cat’s neck. My father didn’t need to know that there was another horse out there that I wanted. One that should still be living out his retirement and not competing. He’d never let me buy him and keep him on the farm, another horse just taking up space. He didn’t approve of most of the ones we had now.
“So maybe,” he carried on. “I could buy him for you.”
“In exchange for what?” I said.
I knew my father. He’d never offer to buy a horse that wasn’t a competition prospect unless there was something in it for him.
“In exchange for you not riding with Walter Grey,” Dad said.
“That’s not fair,” I said. “Walter is giving me a chance to ride in shows that we’d never be able to afford to go to.”
“Walter is only out for himself,” Dad said darkly. “So think about it.”
“Fine,” I said, even though I knew that I wouldn’t.
The trouble was that it wasn’t even really a choice. Jess would never sell Harlow. Not to me and not to my father or anyone connected to me. She’d hang onto him to spite me. I knew her well enough to know that. And Dad didn’t know about how I was set up at the show. I’d wanted to talk to him about it. To ask his advice and now I couldn’t because it turned out that he didn’t want me riding with Walter in the first place. Not because Walter was a shady trainer but because he was jealous. I could tell. It was right there in the offering of a horse that was potentially useless. If he didn’t want me to ride with Walter because it would hurt my career, he’d say so. This was something else. Something personal.
Dad and I didn’t speak the rest of the way home and when we got back, I jumped out of the truck and slammed the door just as hard as I’d done when I got in. I was mad at the world but I was especially mad at Cat. I stormed into the barn looking for her.
“You told my father about Harlow?” I said when I found her grooming Phoenix. “How could you?”
“Don’t yell at me,” she said. “You didn’t tell me it was a secret.”
She was right. I hadn’t but I didn’t expect her to blab it to everyon
e either.
“Now he wants to buy him for me,” I said, sitting on a hay bale.
“Well that’s a good thing, isn’t it?” Cat said. “So what is the problem?”
“He’ll only buy him for me if I stop riding with Walter,” I said.
“Oh.” Cat ran a soft brush over the foal’s gleaming coat.
He was getting bigger, his body growing into his legs and almost not a foal any longer. It was time for Chantilly to go and Phoenix to learn to live without her. I’d miss the mare but maybe if she left that would free up room for Harlow.
“And,” I added. “Jess will never sell him to me. Not in a million years.”
“I could take the money over if you like?” Cat said.
“It doesn’t matter.” I shook my head. “Jess won’t sell him to any of us and besides, Dad doesn’t have the money to spend on him. It was an empty promise.” I kicked a ball of manure and watched it roll a few feet away, disintegrating as it went.
“I’m guessing your show didn’t go too well?” Cat said, going back to her grooming.
“No,” I replied. “It didn’t.”
CHAPTER THIRTY EIGHT
I was still too mad to go into the house and I needed to blow off some steam so I pulled Arion from the field with the promise of a good gallop.
“Are you going for a ride?” Jordan asked.
He looked like he’d been painting fences all day and was covered in specks of white. They were on his arms and in his hair, making him look a lot older than he really was, like stress had suddenly turned him gray. It made me want to check my own hair to see if that had happened to me. It also made me want to scream that I just wanted to be left alone but taking my frustrations out on Jordan wasn’t going to make things better.
“Yes,” I said, attaching the cross tie to one side of Arion’s halter. Jordan handed me the other rope.
“Can I come?” he asked.
No, I screamed silently.
“I really just want to be alone,” I said instead. “And I promised Arion a good gallop.”
“Wizard can gallop,” Jordan said with a shrug. I’d hurt his feelings and I hadn’t even meant to.
“I just want to clear my head,” I said, trying to be diplomatic and failing.
“Fine,” he said, wiping his hands on his jeans. “Go and gallop to your heart’s content. I was just trying to be nice.”
“Were you?” I said, unable to keep it in any longer. “Then where were you when we were looking for Wizard. Why did you hate me then and now that he’s back you like me again? I get it, I know why you were mad. I’d have been mad too but I can’t handle this whole love, hate thing.”
My heart was pounding in my chest as I stood there in the barn waiting for him to answer. What had I done? Had I just ruined the one good thing in my life that wasn’t horses? I waited for Jordan to yell at me or at least walk away in disgust. He didn’t. Instead he pulled me into a hug. I thought maybe I’d push him away. Hit him with my fists until they were red and sore but instead I gave in and laid my head against his chest. His heart was beating steady and slow, unlike mine which was racing a million miles a minute.
He put his hand on my head and stroked my hair. I wanted to cry but I had to stay strong. I couldn’t fall apart now. I wasn’t a silly girl, I was a competitor in a tough sport and I wasn’t going to get anywhere by crying all the time.
“You don’t have to push me away,” he said gently. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“Everyone leaves,” I mumbled into his shirt. “In the end.”
“I won’t,” he said. “I promise.”
“You shouldn’t make promises you can’t keep,” I said as I finally pulled away from him.
I could still feel his warmth on my face. I wanted him to hold me forever but I also wanted to run away and not look back.
“I will keep it,” he said. “Now can I ride with you or not.”
“Fine,” I said but I couldn’t help grinning.
Jordan had a way of making me feel better, even when he didn’t do anything. It was infuriating but the way he’d hugged me, it hadn’t been because he wanted something from me. Not really anyway. It wasn’t about the ride. It was about being there for me.
We tacked up our horses in silence. I waited for Cat to ask if she could come as well but she was too busy playing with Phoenix out in the ring. We took our horses out into the late afternoon sun and rode down the drive and off the farm without saying a word. Gray and black horses side by side. It was like we were two opposites, brought together by fate. Dark and light together so that they cancelled each other out. And it was like Jordan knew I didn’t want to talk. He just kept pace with me, giving Wizard his head so that when we got to the field and I turned Arion in through the open gate, Wizard followed.
We trotted for a little while until we got to the flat, then I asked Arion to canter. Before I knew it we were galloping side by side. Our horse’s tails streaming out behind them as they raced across the dry grass neck and neck. It wasn’t as good as the trail at Fox Run. The gallop was over almost before it had begun, the field ending and with it our little bit of freedom.
“I won,” I said as I pulled Arion to a ragged walk.
“It was a tie,” Jordan said as he patted Wizard’s neck.
We rode back with our reins hanging loose and feet out of the stirrups. The sun was starting to sink low on the horizon and cows were over on the other side of the stream. I didn’t want to go back to the farm where there were so many problems to solve and questions to answer. Where life wasn’t simple at all. I wanted to stay out in the field with Jordan and our horses forever.
“I’m here to help,” Jordan said as our horse’s shoes rang out on the road. “I wish you’d let me.”
“I’m trying,” I said.
He smiled at me and I smiled back but as we neared the drive a truck sped down the road. For one moment I thought it was going to hit us but it slammed on the brakes at the last minute and turned down our driveway, wheels spinning. Jordan looked pale.
“That is my mother,” he said.
And now I knew that Jordan didn’t want to go back to the farm any more than I did.
“There is still time to turn around and go back,” I said hopefully. I didn’t want to hear what Taylor had to say either.
“We have to face our fears,” he said with a sigh.
I really wished we didn’t have to.
CHAPTER THIRTY NINE
Taylor was the loudest small person that I knew. We could hear her yelling before we even got down the drive.
“Does she have to yell all the time?” I asked Jordan. “It doesn’t really help to get her point across.”
“She just gets mad,” he said with a shrug. I guess he was used to it.
“Maybe she should take up boxing,” I said. “So she can vent her rage on something other than us.”
“Yeah, good luck with that,” he said. “It’s your dad. Something between him and her. I don’t know why but she just gets furious around him.”
“He does have that effect on people,” I said as I remembered how mad I was when I got in the truck earlier and how he’d just sat there and not seemed to care. If there was an award for being indifferent, Dad would win every time. He had it down to an art form.
I asked Arion to halt by the ring. He tossed his head to show his displeasure. I knew that he thought he was done. I laid my hand on his warm neck.
“Easy boy,” I said.
“You’re not coming?” Jordan asked me, stopping Wizard. The black horse spun in a circle but Jordan sat in the saddle easily and patted his horse when he finally stood still. Jordan was a better rider than he let on.
“I don’t think so,” I said. “Arion needs to jump a couple of fences.”
“No he doesn’t,” Jordan said.
He was right but I didn’t want to see Taylor right now. The day had been bad enough as it was and I was only just starting to feel better. I didn’t want Taylo
r to ruin the good mood that riding with Jordan had given me.
“We could always ride up the hill,” I said. “Or back out on the road. You don’t have to see her you know.”
“Trust me,” he said, his body suddenly stiff in the saddle. “It’s easier just to get it over and done with. If I don’t see her now, she’ll just come back tomorrow and the next day and the day after that.”
“Maybe if she’s going to be here so often we could get her to do our laundry or clean some stalls,” I said.
Jordan gave me a sad smile before walking Wizard back to the barn. His shoulders were rounded like the weight of the world was on him. I walked Arion into the ring and saw a shadow flash behind the kitchen window. It seemed that Jordan and I had more in common than I thought. We both had mothers that wanted to push us away and whatever their reasons were Jordan and I had to stick together.
“You don’t mind jumping for a bit, do you?” I asked Arion.
He did. He fussed and fretted, bulging out of the circle I was working him in every time we got near the gate. He wanted to go back to his friends and his field and I knew that pushing him to work now was just making him cranky but while I was urging him on and balancing his power between my hands and my seat, I couldn’t hear Taylor and whatever she was yelling, which was good because I didn’t want to know.
I popped Arion over a couple of the fences but his heart wasn’t in it and neither was mine. He was lazy and had the rails down on purpose and there wasn’t anyone around to ask to put the poles back in the cups again. I was too tired to do it myself so I just gave up and went back to the barn. Luckily Taylor was getting in her truck. I’d dodged a bullet. But as I watched her slam the door I saw something I hadn’t noticed before, a tattoo on her arm. The flash of a horn. A unicorn? It couldn’t be.
Catch Rider (Show Jumping Dreams ~ Book 28) Page 8