Jessa doesn’t. “Where do you think he was the other night when he came home late?”
My face falls.
Jessa grins, knowing she hit a spot.
It was her perfume.
It was her scent he went to the shower to wash off.
It all makes sense.
I shove the paper in my bag and storm past her.
“Hey!” Jessa shouts behind me. “You can’t take that!”
Ellie is calling my name as I leave her apartment and sprint to my car.
I storm into the bar with the paternity test in my hand.
“Oh shit,” Liz yelps, standing next to Maliki at the bar.
Maliki’s eyes are wide, all the blood draining from his face, and he scrubs a hand over it.
“We need to talk,” I grind out.
He nods, and I lead the way to our apartment.
No, his apartment.
An apartment he allowed Jessa to come into who knows how many times.
I shove the paper into his chest as soon as he shuts the door and faces me. “Care to explain this?”
He doesn’t bother looking at the paper as it floats to the floor.
He knows what it is.
“I planned to tell you tonight,” he says.
I scoff. “You planned to tell me the day I confronted you? How convenient. Why wasn’t I told weeks ago?”
“I had to know if she was mine.”
“You’ve known she was yours for a while. Not only did you keep this from me, but you’ve also been hanging out with Jessa behind my back.” Tears sting the backs of my eyes. “You came home, smelling like her perfume. You were never helping Cohen, were you? You weren’t in the city with him. You were with her.”
“I was with my daughter,” he corrects, grinding his teeth.
“And her!”
“I had no choice!” His voice rises. “Molly didn’t know me! I couldn’t walk in and expect her to be comfortable. Jessa had to be there.”
“You could’ve told me.” I choke back a sob. “I would’ve helped you work through it. I would’ve been with you like a girlfriend should.”
He draws in a breath, his body tensing. “It was complicated.”
My pulse slams into my throat as all rationality flies out the door. “I can’t.” I shuffle back a step. “I can’t do this.”
He winces. “Can’t do what? Be with a man who has a child?”
Hell no. I won’t allow him to turn this around on me.
It’s my turn to raise my voice. “No, be with a man I don’t trust.”
He scowls. “You don’t trust me?” His shoulders straighten. “Before this, I never lied to you. Not once. Hell, Sierra, you’re fucking married, and I’ve accepted that!”
“Not for long. The divorce will be finalized this week.” My answer is firm. Flat. No expression shown.
He blinks. “What?”
“Devin signed the divorce papers. You’d know that if you came around.”
His face softens. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
That flat voice rises a few notches. Okay, a lot of notches. “Why didn’t you tell me you had a child?”
“I was scared it’d become an issue, like it fucking is right now. You’re young, Sierra.”
“Screw you. Don’t you dare use that as an excuse for your fuckup!” My chin trembles, my voice shaky. “I’d have accepted you in any way I could have you—daughter, no daughter, twenty damn daughters. I would’ve held my arm out and helped with your baggage because you’ve accepted mine, but that acceptance ends at lying.” My voice cracks. “I should’ve known when you came back smelling like her, when you went MIA for hours, when you weren’t working in your own goddamn bar!” Tears swim in my eyes, and I jerk my head to the side, wishing I could rid myself of them. “You and Jessa can make yourselves a happy little family and stay the hell away from me.”
Maliki’s eyes glaze over. “I don’t want Jessa.”
“Yet you’ve been secretly hanging out with her.”
“Don’t do this. Don’t fucking walk away from us, Sierra.”
I whip around, and he’s on my trail as I storm toward the bedroom. I scoop up what folded clothes I see, not even caring what they are, and shove them into my bag, overfilling it. Items fall, but I don’t care.
Like with Devin, I’ll buy new shit.
Maliki stays at my heels as I leave the room, pleas falling from his mouth. “Don’t do this. Don’t fucking walk away from us.”
I don’t stop until I’m at the door.
That’s when I face him.
And when I nearly break down.
No, I do break down.
Our sad eyes meet, neither one of us wanting to be the first to waver.
Disappointment swims in his.
I don’t know if that disappointment is toward me for leaving or himself for lying, for doing this to us.
“I thought you were different,” I finally whisper.
His eyes shut. “I am.” He swallows hard. “I thought you loved me enough not to walk away because I have a daughter.”
I point to him, tears blurring my eyes, and my anger resurfaces. “Fuck you! Don’t you goddamn dare try that excuse to make yourself feel better.” I shake my head and snort. “I always fall for the cheaters.”
“I’m not a goddamn cheater,” he grinds out. “She tried, but I stopped her before it went anywhere.”
I withdraw a step, nearly tripping over myself, my back hitting the door. “She tried?”
“Sierra—”
I cut him off, “Let me put this in perspective. How would you feel if I told you I went to the condo and Devin tried to fuck me? You’d want to know, wouldn’t you?”
“Fuck yes!”
“Exactly!”
His hand curls around my arm when I turn to leave. “Please,” he begs. “Don’t do this, baby.”
I shake my head, sobbing.
“Don’t throw us away like this.” His voice breaks. “Please, for the love of God, drop your bag and don’t leave me.”
I attempt to control my sniffles. “We need time apart, and you can spend that time getting to know your daughter.”
His hold softens on me, his hand massaging my arm. “I can be with you and spend time with her.”
I shake my head and jerk away from him. “I’m sorry.”
“You’re walking away the second there’s a bump in our relationship. I’m going through some shit, and I stayed by your side when you were going through the same.”
“You wouldn’t have been by my side if it involved still being around Devin.”
“Our circumstances are different.”
“True, you have a woman from your past who had your baby, claiming you’re sleeping together. Just like Devin, you don’t care about trust in relationships. I learned my lesson with men I can’t trust. You need time to spend with your daughter. Do that.”
I can’t believe I gave up my apartment for a man.
I’m never doing that shit again.
Lesson fucking learned.
And with that, I walk out with tears falling down my cheeks.
Thirty-One
Maliki
I’ve never been a man who fails.
Who quits.
I’m learning today I’m also a man not afraid to beg the woman he loves not to leave him.
My pulse drums against my throat as I follow Sierra down the stairs and through the bar, biting my tongue to keep my mouth shut in front of customers. As soon as we’re outside, customers be damned, I’m still pleading with her.
Begging her not to leave.
She doesn’t stop until she makes it to her Lexus. “Maliki, just—”
Weight settles on my heart as I take in the hurt on her face.
I did this to her.
Now, I need to fix it.
“Look at you!” I yell. “Neither one of us wants this! I’ve never made you doubt my feelings for you, my loyalty to you. Not once!”
&nbs
p; “Until today. Why did you smell like her? Why were you there until after midnight?”
“Don’t fucking believe her lies,” I hiss, lowering my voice as people start walking into the bar.
Her sadness swerves into anger. “You might’ve turned her down then, but what about the next time and the next? When you’re with her, seeing your daughter, all I’ll think about is whether you’re sleeping with her. Had you not hidden this or stayed at her house until midnight, things would be different. I don’t trust you and refuse to let myself go through that pain again. You lied about this, something I would’ve understood. Who knows what else you’ve lied about?”
I duck my head down to her level, my arms spreading to each side of her body, my hands resting on her car. “Please.”
She shoves me away, opens her door, and gets in.
She leaves me.
As fast as Sierra railroaded herself into my life, she’s walked out.
Liz is waiting for me in my apartment.
I don’t know how long I stayed in the parking lot, praying she’d come back, but all I saw were customers ready to have a good time.
I’ve called.
I’ve texted.
I’ve left voice mails.
She’s gone.
I should’ve never hidden it.
That much is obvious.
I didn’t know what to do. I’d never had to answer to anyone, to explain to anyone, never shared a life like I did with her.
“I told you this would blow back in your face,” Liz says, frustration in her tone.
“She left. You should be happy.” I plod around her and yank a bottle of vodka from the cabinet.
“Please, I don’t feel sorry for you. I feel sorry for her.”
In seconds, a shot glass is in my hand, and I fill it to the rim with vodka. “I thought you hated her.”
One shot down.
She pushes her hands into her pockets. “Me, too, but now, I hate you. I thought she’d hurt you, not the other way around. You, my dumbass brother, are to blame for losing her.”
Another shot knocked back.
I’d offer Liz some, but who knows how long I’ll be drowning in my pity?
I slam my glass down. “I did it because I didn’t want her to worry about me with Jessa. She was already having trust issues. I fucking did it because I finally had a woman I’d wanted for years and was afraid of losing her.”
She snatches the glass from me, pours herself a shot, and downs it. “All of those reasons are what made her leave. Had you told her about Jessa and your daughter, she’d be here. You were a dumbass.”
Another shot.
“How did she find out?” she asks.
“Fucking Jessa,” I answer through clenched teeth.
“I never liked her. I might’ve hated her more than I did Sierra back then.”
“Join the club.”
“You’d better go rip Jessa a new fucking asshole.”
“Trust me, I plan to.”
“When do I get to meet the little one?”
“Now that the news is out, whenever, I guess.”
Another goddamn shot.
Calling her drunk is a bad idea.
Fuck good ideas.
I’ve already proven I exceed at bad fucking ideas.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” I scream at Jessa over the phone.
“I’ve been waiting for your call,” she replies.
I slam the shot glass on the island.
“She needed to know, and you didn’t have the balls to tell her. It’s not like I went to Ellie’s, planning to break the news, but she was there, and I figured, Why not?” Her voice is chipper. Goddamn chipper after ruining my life.
Why not?
Her words only fuel the fire burning inside me.
“You’re telling me, you walked around with a copy of our paternity test?” That’s some weird, manipulative shit.
“I never took it out of my purse.”
I stay quiet.
“When will we see you next? Molly has been asking about you all day. I thought it was smart to wait on your phone call, given what happened.”
“My attorney will be in touch.” No longer will I be a participant in her mind games.
“What?”
“I’m establishing rights to my daughter. I want to see her without you breathing down my neck. You keep making shit complicated, and I’m a simple man. Molly knows who I am now, and I can see her without you.”
“I want us to be a family. Molly deserves that.”
The vodka is close to coming up while I listen to the phoniness in her voice. “Get it through that dense skull of yours that there will never be an us.”
“She left you, didn’t she? I told you Little Miss Perfect wouldn’t accept this. Hell, I’m sure she never intended to stay with you. You were the bad-boy fling before she went back to her straitlaced husband. He cheated, and she wanted to play, too. Don’t think I haven’t overheard them talk.”
I pull my phone away to find Liz calling.
“Gotta go.” I hang up with Jessa and answer Liz’s call.
“Hey,” she says timidly.
“What’s up?”
“Sierra’s brother is here to collect her things. Is it okay to let him up?”
“Yeah.”
I hang up.
She really is walking away.
Seconds later, there’s a knock at my door.
I’m not sure which brother I’ll find on the other side.
“Dude, you fucked up,” a kid I don’t recognize says, walking into the apartment, uninvited, his shoulder hitting mine.
Since I know Kyle, I’m guessing this is Rex.
“I’m well aware,” I grumble. “I need you to talk to her for me.”
He shakes his head. “Dude, I don’t know you or what happened or what to tell you. What I do know is my sister’s trust in people is shit, and beware, she holds grudges like a motherfucker now. I don’t know if there’s any talking to her that can be done to change her mind. You saw how quickly she left Devin’s ass. She doesn’t play games.”
“Ask her to call me.”
“You hurt my sister. I’m not relaying shit.”
The little shit has a mouth on him for being twenty pounds less than me.
I clench my fists. Punching her brother won’t get me back in her good graces.
“Look, dude,” he says, noticing the switch in my mood, “give her a few days. We all know she loves you. It just depends on how much.”
I give him her bags, making sure I don’t pack everything, and search for another shot glass when he leaves.
Working was a bad idea.
I’m near as drunk as the people ordering drinks from me.
But hey, I can work under pressure … under alcohol … under heartbreak.
I have to work, or I’ll go nuts upstairs, thinking about her.
I’ve always thrived on solidarity and silence, but suddenly, I hate it.
The man who never needed anyone needs her.
I miss her—her presence, her scent, her laughter.
I miss my rebellious princess—the woman who pushed my buttons from our first meeting, who challenges me and pushes a smile out of me more in one day than I used to in months.
I miss her when I close the bar.
I miss her when I slide into bed.
I miss her and can’t fucking sleep.
Thirty-Two
Sierra
Three days have passed since I walked away from Maliki.
Three long, miserable-as-hell days.
He keeps calling.
I keep ignoring.
“Hey, babe,” Ellie says, walking into Rex’s apartment with ice cream, hot wings, and wine. She glances around. “Your little bro’s pad isn’t as bad as I imagined.” She drops all her items, including hand sanitizer, on the floor next to the couch.
I called my father and asked if the apartment he’d offered was available. It wasn’t. I n
eeded a place to stay and asked Rex if his offer was still open. My baby brother doesn’t ask questions. I’m closer to him than any of my other siblings.
He shares the three-bedroom apartment with another roommate, who welcomed me with open arms. It’s a total bachelor pad with large TVs, video games, and movie posters as the wall decor, but they do keep it clean and are respectful.
I hop up from the couch to put the ice cream in the freezer and grab two plates from the set Devin’s uncle gifted us on our wedding. Next, I open a drawer for the wine opener and snag two wineglasses.
Instead of avoiding Ellie’s apartment in fear of running into Devin, it’s now Jessa I’m dodging.
Ellie blows out a long breath when I hand her a plate. “Damn, am I in one crappy position.”
I open the bottle of wine and pour myself a full glass. “I don’t expect you to take my side over Jessa’s.”
“She’s in the wrong though.”
I gulp down my entire glass and pour hers. “You really didn’t know he was Molly’s dad?” The question has been lingering in my head since Jessa’s big reveal.
From Ellie’s reaction when Jessa broke the news, it seemed Ellie was clueless, but I never know. She could’ve been protecting her family.
“Hell no. I would’ve told you the moment I found out. My sister led our entire family to believe Pete was Molly’s dad. Hell, she made it seem like what she and Maliki had was just a fling. I told you my sister had slept with him. That wasn’t a secret. I never knew it was more than that, and I definitely didn’t know my niece was his. I can’t believe I missed it though. I mean, he looks nothing like Pete.”
I nod even though I don’t know Pete.
I do feel bad for the guy though.
Not only did he think Molly was his, but he also had to deal with Jessa on the regular.
I shiver, just thinking about it.
“Have your parents said anything about me?” I ask.
“Jessa and I got into a screaming match at my parents’, and she called me unfaithful because I’m friends with the enemy. She told them about Maliki and you, and it was a shock to everyone. The way she did it was shitty, and I hope this doesn’t change our relationship.”
Just Roommates Page 21