• Gin. Distilled grain alcohol flavored with juniper berries. Sloe gin is gin flavored with sloe berries from the blackthorn bush instead of juniper berries.
• Rum. Alcohol distilled from molasses and sugarcane juice, both of which are by-products of the process used to turn sugarcane into refined sugar.
• Vodka. Distilled alcohol originally made from potatoes, but today mostly made from grain. “Vodka” is the diminutive form of voda, the Russian word for water, and means “little water.” All vodka produced in the United States is required by law to be colorless, odorless, and nearly tasteless, which accounts for its popularity in mixed drinks.
• Sherry. White wine that has been fortified by the addition of distilled spirits. It gets its name from Shareesh, the Arabic name for the town of Jerez in southwestern Spain, where it originated.
• Port. Fortified red or white wine. It gets its name from the city of Porto in northern Portugal, where it originated.
• Vermouth. Fortified white wine flavored with aromatic herbs and spices. It’s no longer true, but the flavorings were originally used to mask the flavor of inferior wines. Vermouth gets its name from wermut, German for wormwood, one of the traditional flavors.
• Cordials. Distilled spirits combined with sweetened fruit pulp or fruit juices. Liqueurs are similar to cordials, except that the flavoring is provided by flowers, herbs, seeds, roots, or the bark of plants. Many traditional cordial and liqueur recipes are centuries old and started out as medicinal products.
You, too? Approximately 673,693 Americans were born on today’s date.
ANATOMY OF A HICCUP
Have the…hic…hiccups? Reading this page won’t cure them…hic…but at least……hic…you’ll have a better idea of what you’re…hic…dealing with.
WHAT YOU MIGHT NOT KNOW
• A hiccup occurs when a stimulus causes an involuntary contraction of the diaphragm, the muscle separating the lungs from the abdomen. The contraction makes the sufferer take a quick breath, causing the glottis (located in the voice box) to close, which makes the “hic” sound.
• Technical term for hiccups: a diaphragmatic spasm, or singultus.
• Unlike other body reflexes (coughs, sneezes, vomiting), hiccups serve no useful purpose.
• Most common causes: too much alcohol, spicy food, cold water, carbonated drinks, indigestion, or asthma. They can also be caused by liver or kidney problems, abdominal surgery, or a brain tumor.
• The word “hiccup” may come from the French hocquet, which was used to describe the sound of a hiccup. The earliest known version in English is hicket, dating from the 1500s.
• Hiccup lore: In ancient Greece, a bad case of the hiccups meant an enemy was talking about you. To get rid of them one had to guess the enemy’s name. The Scots thought holding your left thumb (or your chin) with your right hand while listening to someone singing a hymn would stop the hiccups.
• Some forms of encephalitis (swelling of the brain) can cause hiccuping. During the encephalitis pandemics of the 1920s, several cities reported cases of mass hiccuping.
• Fetuses hiccup in the womb.
• Charles Osborne of Anthon, Iowa, holds the title of “World’s Longest Hiccuper.” It started in 1922, hiccuping as often as 40 times per minute. Sometimes he hiccuped so hard his false teeth fell out. In 1987—nearly 70 years later—the hiccups stopped.
• Folk cures: eat peanut butter, eat Wasabi, drink vinegar, eat Lingonberry jam, drink a glass of water while urinating.
There are no poisonous snakes in Maine.
BATHROOM NEWS
All the latest information from the news stream.
LOO ALERT
Dyno-Rod, England’s largest emergency plumbing service, issued a warning in late 2004: Luxury toilet papers are causing an increase in blocked commodes. The company funded a study to see how long different TPs took to disintegrate in water. Their finding: “Modern products, including double quilted, premoistened, and aloe vera–impregnated tissue can take several days to disintegrate while others take just three minutes.” Result: a 10 percent rise in emergency calls to plumbers. One brand, Kandoo, was still intact after five days in water. Said Dyno-Rod spokesman Alan McLaughlin, “The explosion in luxury paper is placing toilets under considerable strain.”
SUPER BOWL
When a maintenance worker arrived at a highway rest stop in Valle, Norway, she was probably happy to discover that there was one toilet she would not have to clean…because it had been stolen. Helga Homme, an employee of Mesta, the company that services rest stops, immediately reported the theft to the Public Roads Administration (PRA). A Mesta manager reported that although he had seen plenty of thefts from rest stops over the years, things like lightbulbs and toilet paper, he had never heard of someone stealing a toilet. It cost the PRA more than $3,000 to replace the stainless-steel toilet, which appeared to have been carefully removed. “They had a disgusting job,” said Homme.
WRONG KIND OF SNAKE
In February 2005, Shannon Scavotto of St. Petersburg, Florida, was getting ready for work when he lifted the lid of his toilet to discard a tissue…and a snake stuck its head out of the bowl. Scavotto quickly called local animal control. When they told him it would cost $150 to have the snake removed, he decided to make his own snake-catching device out of PVC pipe and string. Scavotto lassoed the snake around its head and started pulling…and pulling…and pulling…“It was one of those five levels of realization,” he told the St. Petersburg Times. “How big is this snake?” It turned out to be a six-foot African python. Scavotto has no idea how it got there, but it has given him a new worry in life: “Makes me wonder now when I go to the restroom.” (Us, too.)
Calvin Coolidge’s will was only 23 words long. (He left everything to his wife.)
POLICE LOG
Police officer Craig Clancy walked into a public bathroom stall at a San Antonio auto auction, pulled his pants down…and accidentally dropped his gun, shooting the man in the next stall. The falling pistol, which the officer tried to grab, somehow went off…twice. The victim was hospitalized but not seriously injured, according to police.
PAY TOILET
A 29-year-old German man was taking some money to the bank for his boss in June 2005. On the way, he stopped at a public rest-room to relieve himself, then continued on to the bank. Five minutes later he realized he’d left the money—36,000 euros (almost $43,000) which he was carrying in a plastic bag—behind. He ran back to get it but, not surprisingly, it was gone. Police said the man’s story appeared to be genuine, since he was not insured for such a situation and he would probably have to repay the money to the company himself.
LOADED
Fifty-three-year-old John Jenkins, an operator at a power plant in Morgantown, West Virginia, entered a portable toilet at work, sat down, and lit a cigarette. Bad idea. The ensuing explosion threw him off the toilet and out the door. “When I struck the lighter, the whole thing just detonated,” he said. “The whole top blew off.” The explosion was apparently caused by a faulty pipe beneath the unit that had collected methane gas inside it. Jenkins suffered burns on his legs, arm, and face, and sued the plant for $10 million.
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Newsflash: This just in. Hundreds of wigs were stolen from a local factory last night. Police are combing the area.
In the 1850s, some Paris newspapers were printed on rubber (to be read in the bathtub).
ALTERNATE TV GUIDE
Some actors are so closely associated with a specific role or TV series that it’s hard to imagine he or she wasn’t the first choice. But it happens all the time.
THE BRADY BUNCH. Gene Hackman almost got the part of Mike Brady. Producers cast Robert Reed instead—they didn’t think Hackman was well-known enough.
GILLIGAN’S ISLAND. Among the actors almost cast: Jayne Mansfield as Ginger, Dabney Coleman as the Professor, and Raquel Welch as Mary Ann.
THE DICK VAN DYKE SHOW. Writer Carl Reiner originally sold t
his show about a TV comedy writer and his young wife as Head of the Family. Reiner’s choice for the lead role: Johnny Carson.
BEWITCHED. When baby Tabitha got old enough to be played by a toddler, two child actresses were initially considered: Helen Hunt and Jodie Foster. (The part went to twins Diane and Erin Murphy.)
THE DUKES OF HAZZARD. Dennis Quaid almost landed the part of Luke Duke, but it went to Tom Wopat instead.
MURDER, SHE WROTE. The role of Jessica Fletcher was written with Jean Stapleton (Edith in All in the Family) in mind. She turned it down (so did Doris Day), so it went to Angela Lansbury.
THE MONKEES. Producers originally wanted to build a sitcom around an existing band. When the Dave Clark Five and the Lov-in’ Spoonful turned down the chance, unknown actors and musicians were sought.
DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES. Calista Flockhart, Heather Locklear, Sela Ward, and Mary-Louise Parker were all almost cast in the role ultimately given to Teri Hatcher.
The alphabet, arranged by frequency of use: ETAISONHRDLUCMFWYPGVBKJQXZ.
THREE’S COMPANY. Billy Crystal auditioned for the part of Jack Tripper, which eventually went to John Ritter.
CHARLIE’S ANGELS. They were almost Angels: Kim Basinger, Michelle Pfeiffer, and Kathie Lee Gifford.
DYNASTY. Elizabeth Taylor, Raquel Welch, and Sophia Loren were all passed over for the part of Alexis; Angie Dickinson was offered the role of Krystal. The roles went to Joan Collins and Linda Evans.
THE A-TEAM. For the part of Hannibal, producers nearly cast James Coburn. They went with George Peppard instead.
THE PARTRIDGE FAMILY. After four seasons, David Cassidy was exhausted and wanted to leave the show. Rick Springfield was scheduled to replace him—until the network decided not to renew the show for a fifth year.
FRIENDS. Jon Cryer was offered the role of Chandler. He turned it down and it went to Matthew Perry.
HAPPY DAYS. Robby Benson was considered for the role of Richie Cunningham, but lost out to Ron Howard. (Former Monkees Mickey Dolenz and Michael Nesmith both auditioned to play Fonzie.)
STAR TREK. Martin Landau turned down the part of Spock. It went to Leonard Nimoy, who would later replace Landau when he quit Mission: Impossible.
* * *
OOPS
In 2005 Money magazine named its 100 best places to live. At #28 was Wexford, Pennsylvania. Only problem: Wexford doesn’t exist. It’s a postal designation for parts of four real Pittsburgh suburbs, but it has no boundaries, government, or taxes (which may be why it’s considered such a great place to live).
Author Alexandre Dumas (The Three Musketeers) kept a pet vulture on a leash.
THE GREAT PIG WAR
San Juan Island is one of many islands that dot Puget Sound, which separates Washington and Canada. Today, it’s a popular tourist destination, most notably for whale watching. But more than a century ago, it was not a whale but a pig that thrust San Juan Island to the center of the world stage.
RUDE AWAKENING
Lyman Cutlar was a potato farmer who lived on San Juan Island. On the morning of June 15, 1859, he was startled out of bed by the sound of grunts coming from his potato patch. He got up, grabbed his rifle, and went to investigate. What Cutlar saw incensed him: In the middle of his field was a giant black boar munching on his newly planted tubers. Next to the fence stood a man laughing at the spectacle. Cutlar was mad. He raised his rifle, took aim, and shot. The pig fell dead; the man ran into the woods.
That would be the only fatality in a tense standoff that nearly brought the United States and England into a full-scale war.
THIS LAND IS OUR LAND
After winning the Revolutionary War against England in 1783, the United States started expanding west, embracing the idea of Manifest Destiny, a belief that Americans had a divine right to all lands from the Atlantic to the Pacific. The Louisiana Purchase of 1803 added more than 800,000 square miles, extending from the Mississippi River to the Rocky Mountains. The Mexican-American War of 1846 extended the nation out to California.
That same year, America and Great Britain signed the Oregon Treaty, which set the international boundary between the United States and western Canada, at the time governed by the British. According to the treaty: “The boundary shall be continued westward along the forty-ninth parallel of north latitude to the middle of the channel which separates the continent from Vancouver’s Island, and thence southward through the middle of said channel, and of Fuca’s Straight, to the Pacific Ocean.”
Although this wording may sound thorough, it wasn’t—especially the phrase “in the middle of the channel.” San Juan Island sat in the middle of that channel, and there were two navigable channels on opposite sides of it: the Haro on the west and Rosario to the east. Britain claimed Rosario as the border, making the island British territory. The Americans claimed it was the Haro, making the island American territory.
Don’t get out much? 300,000 people participated in an Easter egg hunt...on the Internet.
TENSION MOUNTS
While the diplomats argued, both sides staked their claims. Hudson’s Bay Company, owned by England, turned the verdant, 55-square-mile island into a giant sheep ranch. Sixteen Americans also settled on San Juan, one of whom was Lyman Cutlar. The governor of Oregon Territory had (mistakenly) assured him that San Juan belonged to the United States. Therefore, as an American citizen, Cutlar (mistakenly) thought he was entitled to 320 acres of free land under the Donation Land Claim Act of 1850. But because the ownership of the island was under dispute, the Claim Act did not apply.
Cutlar’s nearest neighbor was Charles Griffin, an Englishman who managed Hudson’s Bay’s giant sheep ranch. Griffin also owned a few pigs, which he allowed to roam freely. After all, as far as he was concerned, the island belonged to the British.
The two sides shared an uneasy peace for a few years…until Cutlar killed Griffin’s pig. The American farmer offered $10 compensation for the deceased pig, but Griffin scoffed at the paltry price and demanded $100. Cutlar wasn’t about to pay such a huge sum for a pig that trespassed on his land. He replied: “Better chance for lightning to strike you than for you to get a hundred dollars for that hog!” Both men took their complaints to their respective governments.
SETTING THE PIECES
Griffin called on Sir James Douglas, governor of British Columbia, who sided with his countryman. Years earlier, Douglas had publicly opposed the Treaty of Oregon, believing that the Columbia River—which lies many miles to the south and now separates Washington from Oregon—should have been the border between the two countries. Unhappy with the upstart Americans living on “his” island, Governor Douglas ordered Cutlar to pay the $100.
Cutlar told the governor where he could stick his order and walked away. He was, after all, an American citizen, and San Juan Island was in the United States of AMERICA! Douglas issued a warrant for the potato farmer’s arrest.
Ancient Egyptians made hula hoops out of grapevines.
Cutlar ignored the warrant (he was never arrested) and complained bitterly to General William S. Harney, commander of the U.S. Army’s Department of Oregon. Harney was a hothead. According to biographer George Rollie Adams, Harney was “excitable, aggressive, and quick to react to any affront, insult, or attack, whether real or imagined.” And General Harney hated the British as much as Governor Douglas hated the Americans. Harney sent his best officer to occupy the island—Captain George Pickett, another hothead who earlier had been cited for “reckless bravery” in the Mexican War. Pickett landed on San Juan Island in July of 1859 with 461 soldiers. They built a fort, brought in their artillery, and prepared for battle. Pickett proclaimed (without federal authority) that the island was United States territory and appointed himself the sole authority. “No laws, other than those of the United States,” would be recognized.
Meanwhile, Governor Douglas warned the British Foreign Office: “The whole of San Juan Island will soon be occupied by a squatter population of American citizens if they do not receive
an immediate check.”
CHECK
The British sent five warships and 2,000 soldiers. Undeterred, Harney ordered Pickett to stop the British from landing, and if they tried, to open fire. Pickett pledged that if he had to, he would “make a Bunker Hill out of it” and fight to the last man.
Governor Douglas ordered his navy to take San Juan by force, but British Rear Admiral Robert L. Baynes, who commanded the fleet, was the only one of the bunch with a knack for diplomacy. “I refuse to involve two great nations in a war over a squabble about a pig!” So Baynes kept his men on the ships, their guns pointed at the American fort. Both sides were ready to fight, but neither wanted to fire the first shot. So there they stayed, facing each other’s guns, waiting.
Back in Washington, D.C., the standoff—now more than two months old—was treated with the utmost importance. With the threat of a civil war looming at home, no one wanted to go to war with England…again. President Buchanan dispatched his best negotiator, General Winfield Scott, who had previously mediated two disputes over the U.S.–Canadian border, one at Aroostook, Maine, and the other at Niagara Falls.
A single square inch of skin on the human hand contains 72 feet of nerves.
TO THE RESCUE
General Scott arrived in October to find Captain Pickett and his men tired, anxious, and with itchy trigger fingers. He met with General Harney and told him, “Resign or get fired.” Disgraced, Harney left the island, having fired not a single shot.
Now in sole charge of the situation, General Scott met with Governor Douglas. They came to a stalemate as to the true ownership of San Juan Island, but agreed on a joint occupancy until an international arbiter could be brought in to settle the matter. The British fleet sailed away, and most of the American troops withdrew, as did Lyman Cutlar, who found that living on San Juan Island was far more trouble than it was worth. Each side left a symbolic token force, encamped on opposite ends of the island. They shared a second, uneasy peace for more than a decade.
Uncle John’s Fast-Acting Long-Lasting Bathroom Reader Page 22