Serial Hottie

by Kelly Oram

  Is expert knife slinging considered self-defense? I wanted to ask.

  “Really?” Angela cooed, resting her hand on his arm. “That’s so great!”

  “Yes, I have high hopes that he’ll be a great doctor one day,” Ms. Wainwright continued to brag.

  “A doctor!” Angela gasped. “Yeah, after seeing you in action, I’m sure you’d make a great doctor.”

  “Maybe I should,” Seth said lightly. “Seems to me you could use one on staff in this house for Ellie alone.”

  Everyone laughed at that, except me, of course. To my horror all I could do was blush. It was my mom who finally threw me a bone and got the attention off of me. “Is that what you’re going to study then?” she asked Seth. “I assume you’ll be starting college in the fall.”

  “No, I’m just barely seventeen. I’ll be a senior in the fall. Which is a good thing because I don’t have any idea what I want to do. I need the time to think about it.”

  My mom smiled sympathetically. “Transferring high schools before your senior year? That’s got to be rough.”

  Ms. Wainwright sighed. “I did feel bad about having to move, but he’s been very mature about it.”

  I caught my dad glancing at Angela with a smirk on his face and I couldn’t hold back my smile either. Angela’s going to be a senior too, and if my dad had transferred us this year, she would have started World War III. Dad winked at me and then we turned our attention back to the conversation.

  “It won’t be so bad,” Seth was saying as he grinned at me again. “The neighborhood’s already turned out to be much more exciting than I’d expected.” Everyone chuckled again with more glances my direction. “Plus now I’ll at least have a couple of friends to keep me company through the summer.”

  “Oh, more than just a couple!” Angela was practically bubbling over with excitement. “I can introduce you to a ton of people this summer. In fact, there’s a big beach party this Friday. I know it’s not exactly the kind of beach you’re used to in California, but it’s still really fun. My friend Rachel has a lake house with a boat and jet skis. Half the senior class is going.”

  “I don’t know about this party Angela,” Mom interrupted in a wary voice.

  “Oh, don’t worry, Mom. Rachel’s parents will totally be there. It’s a barbeque, not a rave.”

  “It’s not that honey, I trust Rachel’s parents. But after what happened to those other girls? I just don’t know if it’s a good idea to be out so late on the weekends right now.”

  “What girls?” Angela, Seth and I all asked in unison.

  “Do you mean the two stabbing victims?” Seth’s aunt asked and my mom nodded.

  “Remember the girl we saw on the news last week?” Dad asked me suddenly. “The one who…”

  Dad’s voice trailed off and I shivered. “Heather Monroe,” I said.

  “She wasn’t the only one. There was another girl the weekend before. Stabbed to death in Farmington Hills. She fit the same profile.”

  I shuddered again. I could tell by the look on Dad’s face that by “the same profile” he meant a carbon copy of me. A moment passed between us, which Angela interrupted by blurting out, “Are you saying there’s a serial killer on the loose right now?”

  My face blanched and my dad quickly assured us that there wasn’t. “You don’t look too convinced,” I told him, because he didn’t.

  “The murders may be connected,” Seth said out of nowhere. “But they can’t be considered serial killings unless there’s three or more.”

  Ms. Wainwright must have seen the look I was giving her nephew because she said, “No, he’s right. I was watching a special report about it the other night. The police are actually pretty sure that the two deaths are coincidence.”

  “They’re sure?” my mom asked.

  Ms. Wainwright shrugged. “They seemed pretty confident.”

  Mom looked back at Angela. “When is this party?”

  “Friday.”

  “And Rachel’s parents will be there?”

  Angela nodded. “Plus some of their friends too.”

  Mom looked at Dad and then back at Angela. Finally she sighed. “You can’t go by yourself, and I expect you to be home by your normal curfew.”

  “There,” Angela said turning to Seth. “You have to come with me now because I can’t go alone.”

  Seth frowned in confusion. “Won’t Ellie be going too?”

  Angela snorted, which made Seth even more confused until he saw the look of disgust on my face.

  “I’d rather take my chances with the serial killer.”

  “Ellie!” My mother. Again with the chiding.

  For a moment everyone remembered that there was food on the table. I was glad for the silence, but I could feel Seth’s eyes on me. I braved a glance and then wished I hadn’t because he was watching me with that same intense-yet-amused look I’d seen on him so many times already and it reminded me of my dream.

  When the phone blared to life in the kitchen it felt like one of life’s small miracles. Angela jumped up, but before she could get two steps, my mom was hollering, “Sit back down, Angela!”

  “But Mom—”

  “But nothing. We’re in the middle of a nice dinner with company.”

  “But you took my phone! I don’t even have voice mail right now!”

  “We have an answering machine.”

  “But—”

  Mom finally silenced Angela’s protests with a look and I laughed.

  Angela is addicted to her cell phone, but last month she accrued like two hundred dollars in overages and my parents flipped. She’s grounded from the thing for the whole summer. I don’t have one either, but that’s just because I don’t ever need one. I only ever talk to the J’s and they just come over. Most of the time they don’t even bother to knock. Still, when my parents offered to let me use Angela’s phone for the summer after she got grounded, I took it just to piss her off. It’s buried somewhere in the mess that is my closet.

  Angela caught me laughing at her and gave me a dirty look. I started to stick my tongue out at her in retaliation but then the answering machine picked up the call in the kitchen. When I heard three very obnoxious voices call out “Westleeeeeeeeeey!” I forgot about antagonizing my sister and shot out of my chair.

  “Ellie!” my mom called in a warning tone.

  “Mom! They’re at camp! I can’t just call them back!”

  My dad, bless his bald head, reasoned with my mom and I took off, hoping to catch my best friends before they hung up. “What’s up losers?” I said breathlessly.

  For a minute all I could hear was chaos, and then someone obviously punched someone else. Apparently Jesse won the scuffle for control over the phone because he said, “You’re never gonna guess!”

  The excitement in his voice made me forget about everyone in the other room. “What?”

  “We got to scrimmage with the Wings!”

  “The Detroit Red Wings? You actually played with them?”

  “Franzen, Zetterberg, Howard…” Jesse said, and Josh yelled in the background, “All of them!”

  “NO FREAKING WAY! YOU GUYS SUCK!”

  “Ellie!” Mom shouted from the dining room. “Language!”

  I glanced her direction and immediately saw Seth watching me. Something about the look on his face pissed me off. “Sorry,” I called to Mom. “I’ll take it in the office.”

  “We still have company,” she called back, slightly annoyed.

  “Five minutes!”

  I took the cordless phone past the downstairs bathroom and plopped down into my dad’s desk chair as the J’s took turns snagging the phone from each other in order to tell me all about the amazing summer they were having without me.

  It was Josh who eventually said, “So you were in the hospital for a head injury? What’s up with that? Can’t hold your own on the court without us?”

  “Please.” I snorted. “I had to resort to playing at the park today and I kille
d those guys despite Vince Kowalski busting up my face.”

  “Kowalski mashed your face?” Jack said in the background—they must have had me on speaker. “Sweet! I’ve always wanted a reason to pound that dillweed.”

  “Sorry, Jack. He’ll be dead long before you get back.”

  “Knock one of his teeth out for me!”

  “With pleasure,” I promised.

  “So seriously, Westley,” Josh said again. “Why were you in the hospital?”

  “It was so stupid. My first concussion and it wasn’t even in a game. Bruno got out of his yard. Jumped me without my helmet on. I almost bled to death on the driveway. There’s a huge stain there now.”

  “Awesome.”

  “Yeah, I’m gonna have a pretty nasty scar too.”

  “So who was the tool?” Jesse wanted to know.

  “What tool?”

  “We called last week and some guy answered. Said you couldn’t talk because you just got back from the hospital and were asleep.”

  “He answered the phone?” I nearly yelled. For some reason the thought of Seth talking to the J’s was horrifying.

  “Who is he?”

  “Just this guy. Him and his aunt moved into dead lady Cromsfield’s house across the street.”

  “He got any game?”

  I laughed. “Not any game that would be beneficial to you unless you’re thinking of switching to the other team—if you catch my drift.”

  “The dude’s gay?” Jack gasped. I heard a lot of snickering in the background.

  “He’s sure pretty enough to be gay,” I said. “He’s like a male version of Angela. Dresses like a JCrew model, styles his hair, probably has legions of zombie girls at his beck and call. Ang has been salivating over him since he showed up.”

  “Sounds like a bad horror film,” Jack said at the same time as Angela appeared in the doorway of the office.

  Bad horror film was exactly the right description for her. Specifically Carrie comes to mind—at the end when she goes psycho and wastes everyone at the prom. “Ellie!” she hissed, “Seth’s in the bathroom! He can probably hear every word you’re saying!”

  “Well it’s not like it isn’t obvious,” I snapped, annoyed that she’d been listening to my conversation. In my best helpless airhead voice I said, “Oh, Seth you’re so brave! I’d play doctor with you anytime!” I rolled my eyes, switching back to my normal voice. “I think some of your drool actually fell onto his plate.”

  The guys were howling with laughter through the phone. Angela was turning a scary shade of red, enraged beyond anything I’d ever seen before, and Seth chose that exact moment to wander into the office. I think Angela’s knees wanted to give out, but somehow she managed to storm out of the room.

  Seth watched her go for a second, but quickly turned his attention back to me. “We miss you at the dinner table,” he said with a grin. “Your mom sent me to drag you back.” When I didn’t respond he added, “I’m willing to use excessive force if necessary.”

  With the J’s on the phone, it felt like they were standing right there with me. I drew a little courage from them, finally able to respond to Seth appropriately instead of melting into a big puddle of wuss. I rolled my eyes at him and sighed into the phone. “I gotta go. My mom’s having a cow cause we’re eating dinner right now. You guys suck, you better at least have gotten me some autographs.”

  I said goodbye and when I ended the call, Seth was still standing there. He was leaning against the doorway now, watching me, arms folded across his chest.

  “What?” I snapped.

  “You’re very interesting when you’re in your comfort zone,” he said thoughtfully.

  “Is that supposed to be a compliment?”

  “More so, I’m sure, than being pretty enough to be gay.”

  My stomach lurched. He had heard what I’d said. I steeled myself, refusing to let him intimidate me again. “If you didn’t like what you heard, don’t eavesdrop next time.”

  I tried to walk past him out of the office, and his hand shot out, blocking my exit. “I liked some of it,” he said. “I liked the part where you said you wanted to play doctor with me.”

  I’m not sure how your stomach can cave in on itself and your heart can flip in your chest all at the same time, but the end result when it happened to me right then was that it caused my foot to stomp down on Seth’s as hard as it was capable. He stumbled back in surprise and I quickly made my escape.

  When I sat back down Angela was glaring at me from across the table. Who knew I’d ever find her presence reassuring?

  “Where’s Seth?” Ms. Wainwright suddenly asked.

  I looked up, realizing he hadn’t followed me. Good, I thought. I shrugged and stuffed my mouth with enchiladas.

  “Eleanor, don’t be so rude,” my mother said.

  “What? I don’t know where he went. He told me to come back in here, so I did.”

  “Eleanor?” Ms. Wainwright asked. “As in Roosevelt?”

  “Exactly!” my mom said, forgetting about my attitude. She always gets excited when someone shows interest in my name. Probably because it so rarely happens. “That’s actually who we named her after, since she’s our little patriot. Born on the Fourth of July. She’s turning her sweet sixteen here in a few weeks.”

  “Oh! Happy Birthday! Having your birthday on the Fourth of July must be kind of fun.”

  “Oh yeah, it’s a real blast.” I tried not to be too sarcastic, but I don’t think it worked very well. “It’s in the middle of summer, and it’s a holiday, so none of your friends are ever around. Plus you get awesome patriotic names like Eleanor.”

  My mom, who was sitting next to me, very subtly pinched me beneath the table. “Sorry,” I grumbled. Then I really tried to be sincere. I don’t know what was wrong with me. I’m not usually so grouchy. “I prefer Ellie,” I told Seth’s aunt.

  Seth came back then, smiling pleasantly to everyone. “What’d I miss?”

  Ms. Wainwright was more than happy to fill him in. “Eleanor—excuse me, Ellie—was born on Independence Day. She’s about to turn—”

  “Sweet sixteen,” Seth finished for her. He looked at me then as if nothing had happened between us. As if I hadn’t just made fun of him to my friends and stomped his foot when he made a pass at me. “Are you doing anything special? Party? Big date with your boyfriend?”

  I knew he was just giving me a hard time, he already knew I didn’t have a boyfriend, but Angela laughed so hard she choked on her food and was thrown into a coughing fit. Seth, I noticed, didn’t seem to be in any hurry to come to her rescue.

  “I’m buying a car,” I said, indirectly answering Seth’s questions because in fact I had exactly zero plans for my birthday. “Been saving up. My dad’s going out with me this Saturday to pick one out.”

  “Oh, Ellie, honey.” My dad cleared his throat and looked at me regretfully. “Didn’t I tell you? I can’t go this weekend. Last minute trade show in Des Moins.”

  “But, Dad! You promised!”

  “I know kiddo, but I have to go. We’ll go as soon as I can, though. It won’t kill you to wait a week after you turn sixteen, will it?”

  My heart sank. My dad was one of the few people in this city who didn’t work for Ford, Chevy, or GM. He’s the Mid-western sales manager for a company that makes medical equipment like MRI machines and stuff. He always has to take off for a day or two here and there. Especially on weekends.

  I couldn’t help slinking back in my chair and sulking. It was official. This was the worst summer of my life. Some sweet sixteen.

  “If you’d like,” Seth said after a minute, “I could take Ellie for you this Saturday.”

  I looked up, startled, but Seth was talking to my dad. Unfortunately my dad seemed to like his suggestion. “Do you know a lot about cars?” he asked Seth.

  “I know enough. But I’m really good with salesmen.”

  “It’s true,” his aunt said, laughing. “That boy can haggle even the
best down to pennies on the dollar.”

  I groaned inwardly. Having been a salesman the majority of his life, my dad was now looking at Seth half proud, half rising to the challenge. “That so?” he asked, leaning back in his chair, crossing his arms. He looked at my mother questioningly and she nodded enthusiastically.

  “I don’t see the harm in it,” Mom said. “Ellie has been so excited about this. She’d probably prefer to go with someone closer to her own age anyway.” She looked to me then. “What do you think, Ellie? Can Seth fill your father’s shoes this time?”

  “I’ll make it up to you, sweetheart,” Dad added. He really did look like he felt bad.

  I sighed. If I said no right now, I’d hurt Dad’s feelings and my mom would probably get mad. Knowing her, I would get my car when Angela got her phone back.

  “Okay, I guess.” And then, just because I knew my mother was waiting for it I mumbled, “Thanks,” to Seth. I didn’t look up to see whatever smirk was on his face.

  Monday afternoon Angela spent a good half an hour sitting on Seth’s front porch flirting with him over sodas. I’ll admit to watching this, but not because I was spying on Seth. I just found it amusing to watch Angela fail miserably at her attempts to snag the hottie—however creepy—across the street.

  Seth seemed to enjoy her company well enough, but he didn’t act toward her anywhere near the same way he acted toward me. He talked, he smiled, he laughed, but he didn’t touch her or crowd her. In fact, from where I stood he almost seemed like a normal person. Almost.

  Just as I was considering the possibility that maybe I’d overreacted to him, Angela was whisked off by a group of her friends. I could tell that she’d invited Seth to come along, but he glanced up at my bedroom window and then turned her down. He waved as the car Angela jumped in drove off, and the second it was out of sight he immediately headed toward my house.

  My heart raced as I ran downstairs. I told myself again that I’d overreacted and that he was normal, but for some reason I still hesitated to open the door when the doorbell rang. I stood there debating, my hand about to turn the knob, when his silky voice called out to me.