“Was the TV on?”
“No. But Eden might have gotten hold of the remote. Babies figure that stuff out pretty quickly.”
“I just can’t believe she would leave her baby alone, wandering around the house, while she ran errands for that good-for-nothing husband of hers.”
“Surely he doesn’t wield that kind of power over her….”
“It sounds like he does. Even from jail.” Rob threw the Pinto in gear and gripped the steering wheel. “You said she planned to get back together with him?”
“Because of the baby… The one she’s expecting, not just Eden.” Michelle looked up at the house as he backed out of the driveway. “We should have asked her when Mack is getting out of jail.”
“Do you want to stop by the police station and see what we can find out?”
“No. I think I’d rather just ask Becky. It feels a little underhanded, going to the police. And I think she might have talked to me if you hadn’t been there.”
Rob cocked his head, regarding her. “Can I ask you a question?”
“I guess.”
He could tell he made her nervous when he got introspective like this. “Why did you take lunch to Becky Preston’s?”
She squinted at him. “I don’t understand what you’re asking.”
“She doesn’t seem like the type you’d choose for a friend. I mean, she’s nothing like your friends from college that I met. I’m just curious why you took an interest in her.”
She looked at her hands in her lap, obviously debating how to answer. Finally she sighed and looked up at him. “I don’t even know if I know the answer myself. Until I was eighteen, everything pretty much went the way I wanted it to. I grew up in a great family, parents who loved me, good friends at school. I had a great boyfriend, a bright future… But after graduation, things kind of—fell apart. For the first time, I realized that what I’d had wasn’t guaranteed. That not everybody was blessed with the things I was blessed with.” She worried the edge of her sleeve, looking as if she’d just bared her soul to a man she wasn’t sure she could trust.
“That’s true,” he said, wanting to be worthy of her trust more than he’d ever wanted anything.
“When things fell apart, it kind of made me look at people differently. And it made me want to be on the giving end sometimes, instead of always being on the receiving end.”
“Wow.” He was deeply curious about what had happened to her.
Grinning up at him, she looked vulnerable—and beautiful. She gave a humorless laugh. “You thought I was going to say, ‘Because it was the right thing to do.’ Or ‘Because I wanted to help someone less fortunate than me,’ didn’t you?”
“I honestly don’t know what I thought you were going to say. That’s what I like about you, Michelle Penn. You are never, ever boring.”
“Aw, I bet you say that to all the girls.” But her smile said she understood his compliment.
“No. I don’t say that to all the girls.” He pulled over and parked at the curb. He didn’t want the distraction of driving while they had this conversation.
She seemed to understand his seriousness, her expression matching his.
His voice almost a whisper, he risked the question he’d been reserving. “Would I be out of line to ask what you meant about things…falling apart?”
She sighed. “I guess the easiest way to explain it is, I got dumped.”
“Ah… That great boyfriend wasn’t so great after all?”
“No, I think he was still pretty great.” She struggled to swallow, and he could tell she despised the lump that clogged her throat. “He dumped me to go serve in Vietnam. Last I heard, he was in Phnom Penh.”
Rob blew out a breath. “Whoa. So…are you waiting for him?” So much rested on her answer.
“No. I really mean it. He dumped me to go to Nam.”
“But…surely he must have wanted you to wait for him?”
“I offered. He didn’t want that. I think—” She bit her lip, but not before he saw it tremble. “I think Vietnam was the only thing Kevin could think of to let me know how serious he really was about not wanting to be with me.”
“Ouch. I’m sorry, Mish. That had to hurt.”
One tear slipped down her cheek, and everything in him wanted to sweep her into his arms and make everything right. But he couldn’t do that. And even if he could’ve, he somehow knew that now wasn’t the time.
It took every ounce of strength he had to stay on his side of the seat. Instead, he wrapped his hand around hers and squeezed. As if that feeble gesture could possibly say everything that was in his heart for her at this moment.
* * *
Michelle relished the feel of Rob’s strong fingers gripping hers. His simple words of empathy were so different from the pity she’d felt from everyone when Kevin had first deployed and she had to explain why she wasn’t waiting for him.
She stared through the windshield of Rob’s car and the memories came flooding back. She knew there were still people in Bristol who probably thought that she’d cruelly dropped Kevin while he put his life in danger for his country. Her parents had long ago convinced her that it didn’t pay to try to explain it to every person who wondered.
“It’s between you and God what happened, Mish,” her dad had told her one night when she could not seem to stop crying. “Let people think what they will. You know the truth, and God knows, and there’s no reason to feel even worse over what happened just because people don’t understand. Anyone who loves you will know that you couldn’t have been more loyal to Kevin.”
She still suspected that her parents—Dad for sure—were secretly relieved she wasn’t getting married right out of high school. And after two years, she’d made peace with God about the whole mess. She hadn’t seen the results yet—though Rob’s presence in her life had certainly suggested some new possibilities. She trusted that God had something in mind to redeem everything that had happened to her.
She hadn’t yet reached a place where she could trust that she’d like what God might have in mind for her life. But for now, she was willing to give Him the benefit of her doubts.
She squeezed Rob’s hand again, grateful to have gotten this “secret” out of the way—and suddenly aware of an important truth. “You know, as hard as it was—the whole thing with Kevin—seeing what Becky’s going through reminds me that it could have been so much worse.”
Rob nodded. “That’s always true, isn’t it? We can always find someone worse off than we are.”
“My mom always says she can choose her level of contentment by whether she looks out the south window, down to where the Martins’ ranch is—one thousand acres and a beautiful, modern farmhouse—or whether she looks out the north window, to the trailer house, where one of Dad’s hired men lives with his wife and three little kids—with one on the way.”
* * *
Rob listened to Michelle and shook his head, feeling empty and wishing he could remember whether his mom had ever given him little tips for life the way Michelle’s mother had. If only he could ask his dad. But Mom was pretty much an off-limits topic between them and had been for fourteen years now.
“Look north and Mom’s happy,” Michelle was saying. “But south, it’s too easy to start dwelling on what she doesn’t have instead of what she does.”
“That’s good advice. You’re smart to take it.”
“Yeah, well, I don’t always. I try, but…” She shrugged.
“You do all right. And what you’ve done for Becky proves it.”
“I haven’t really done anything. Just tried to be friendly.”
“That’s more than most people would do. I wish there was some way we could help her,” he said.
“Maybe there is.”
He waited for her to explain, expecting it to cost him more than he was willing to give.
“Why don’t we offer to babysit for Eden so she can have some time to herself? We could do it together.” She looked up at him a
nd smiled. “She likes you.”
Her idea surprised him. But it felt like a gift, since it involved spending time with Michelle too. He wondered what his father would think of their plan. Didn’t matter. At least it wouldn’t if his own plans panned out. “That’s a great idea. If we can talk Becky into actually taking us up on it. I don’t think she was a big fan of me when we left there just now.” He hooked a thumb over his shoulder toward Becky’s neighborhood.
She grinned. “Good point. Maybe we should wait a day or two until she’s had a little time to cool down.”
“Okay. But I like the way you’re thinking. Going together, I mean.”
“You may like it, but I wonder what our boss will think.”
“How could he be against such a mission of mercy?”
But even as he spoke the words, he knew exactly how his father would feel about it. And it made him all the more determined to set his plan in motion.
Chapter 21
“Please, Becky, let me in.”
Michelle knocked again and tried the doorknob, remembering how it had given way last week when she and Rob had come to check on Becky. But it was locked tight this time. Still, she had a feeling Becky was home.
She waited a few more minutes and knocked again. This time she heard footsteps. And then the door opened.
“What do you want?”
“Becky, may I come in, please? I’d like to talk to you.”
The door opened slowly and Michelle slipped in. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. Did you come to spy on me?”
Michelle felt as if she’d been slapped. “I was never here to spy on you. Is that truly what you think?”
“I don’t know what to think. I come home and there’s a stranger in my house holding my baby and accusing me of not being a good mother.” Her voice cracked on the word, and she looked at the toy-littered floor.
“Rob wasn’t accusing you, Becky. We were just worried, that’s all. And we never would have come in if I hadn’t seen Eden. When you didn’t come, I was afraid something had happened—that you were sick or something. That’s the only reason we were upstairs. We were looking for you.”
Becky looked past Michelle as if she thought Rob might be hiding on the front porch. “Listen, I’m sorry I blew off our lunch. Like I said, Mack was sick and I had to get him some meds. They treat him like dirt at that jail.”
Michelle bit her tongue to keep from mentioning that dirt was what he’d treated Becky like. “Do you know yet when he gets out?”
“There’s another hearing next Tuesday. He’s pretty sure he’ll get out then—at least on parole.”
“And he’s coming back here?”
She nodded. “He’s a good man. He’s good to Eden, and he’s actually happy about this baby.” Becky put a hand on her belly.
It looked to Michelle as if she’d grown even rounder with child since the other day, but it was probably just the style of maternity top she had on.
Becky stuck out her chin, looking defiant. “I know you don’t believe me, but Mack’s changed. He—he was going through a bad patch last summer. But he’s turned over a new leaf. He’s trying to line up a job before he gets out. He already has some good leads.”
“Well…that’s good, I guess.” She didn’t know what else to say. She’d read too many articles in Glamour Magazine and even Seventeen that made it sound like there was pretty much no hope for a guy who beat up a woman. But she also knew that people could change. She’d seen it in her own family. Not anyone who’d done what Mack Preston had, but Grandpa Penn had been an alcoholic—“a mean drunk,” Grandma had called him. And he’d turned his life around. Or rather, God had—overnight. Grandpa had gone forward at a revival meeting when Michelle was a baby, and he’d never taken another drink after that. Her grandpa had died when she was only ten, but she’d heard Dad and her grandma tell the story many times. And they were eyewitnesses she trusted.
She wanted to ask Becky if Mack had found Jesus, but the girl was already on the defensive. It didn’t seem like the right thing to do on the heels of the encounter she and Rob had had with Becky last week.
“What I was wondering…well, Rob and I were wondering…if we could babysit Eden some evening. So you can have some time to yourself. Or maybe go visit Mack? I don’t know if they allow that in the evening—and unfortunately, that’s the only time Rob and I could come, but—”
Becky eyed her with suspicion. “Are you two…an item?”
“Me and Rob?” Her laugh sounded forced, even to her. “No. We just…work together.”
“Seems to me you get along really well for coworkers.”
“Oh, we do. Get along, I mean. He’s a great guy.” She wracked her brain to think of a way to change the subject. “He’s excited about seeing Eden again. They really hit it off.” She smiled, thinking about Rob’s silly chattering-teeth game with Eden. For some reason, it had surprised her to see how he’d warmed up to the toddler. Because he was an only child, she hadn’t expected him to be so good with kids.
“I don’t know…. When were you thinking?”
Becky was acting reluctant, but Michelle got the feeling she really wanted to accept. “Is there a time that would help you out the most? Maybe whenever they have visitation at the jail? And if Rob can’t do it that night, I’d be happy to come alone. It’d be nice to have something to look forward to—something more exciting than sitting home with a book. Really.”
“Well, it would be nice to just have a night to myself. Maybe get groceries without having my little pack rat pulling things off the shelf and into my cart.”
“Just name a night. Seriously.”
“I don’t get my check till next Friday, so it’d have to be after that.”
“Oh, no—no. You don’t have to pay us, Becky. I never meant that—”
“Oh…I just meant…” She seemed to be embarrassed. “I won’t have a way to pay for groceries until I get my check.”
“Sure…of course. That makes sense.”
Eden’s cries deflected the awkward moment.
“I’ll go get her. Be right back…”
Michelle looked around the humble living room. As far as she knew, Becky didn’t work. She must mean that her welfare check came on Friday. Michelle couldn’t imagine how humiliating it must be to depend on the government to take care of her child. She found herself disliking Mack Preston more by the minute. What did Becky see in him besides the fact that he was Eden’s father?
Eden burst into the room and raced for Michelle. Pleased beyond words, she scooped the featherweight into her arms and nuzzled her neck, giggling along with Eden. “Did you have a good nap?”
Eden’s brow furrowed. “No nap!”
Michelle laughed “No. It’s time to wake up, isn’t it?”
“Wake up,” Eden parroted. “No nap!”
It was the most Michelle had heard her talk. Her cousin’s three kids had all spoken in complete sentences by the time they were two. But then, Eden had been through a lot.
“Come here, silly girl.” Becky held out her arms to her daughter. “Do you want some juice?”
Eden left Michelle’s arms willingly for her mother’s.
“Do you want something to drink? Hot tea, maybe?”
“Sure. That sounds good.” She followed Becky to the kitchen.
Becky put a kettle on to boil and opened cupboard doors, revealing shelves that were as bare of food as the sink was full of dirty dishes. Michelle made a mental note to pick up a few groceries to bring over when she and Rob came.
Eden played in one corner with a stack of colorful plastic QuikTrip cups, and Michelle helped Becky wash mugs and spoons. Standing side by side at the sink she could feel Becky relax a little, and soon they were chatting like friends again.
Eden toddled over and lifted her arms to Michelle. Laughing, she lifted the toddler and shared an impromptu tea party while Becky finished the dishes.
When Eden grew tired of sipping tea, Miche
lle helped Becky dry dishes and straighten up the kitchen. When they were finished, Becky got out the baby book she was making for Eden. Each photograph glued to the page boasted an intricate pen-and-ink “frame” that Becky had drawn herself.
“Becky, this must have taken hours! You’re an artist.”
Becky shrugged. “Oh, not really.”
But Michelle thought she saw a touch of pride in her response. “This is beautiful. An heirloom.”
“You know what they say. Necessity is the mother of invention. Baby books were almost fifteen dollars. There was no way I could afford that, but I didn’t want her to grow up without a baby book like I did.” She looked embarrassed to have let that slip.
Michelle chose to ignore her comment and turned another beautifully designed page in the scrapbook. There was Mack Preston cuddling a newborn Eden in his arms. He looked like any proud father smiling down on his first child. Seeing him in this photo, Michelle got a glimpse of what Becky saw in him.
She stayed and chatted with Becky and Eden for almost an hour, and before she left, they’d settled on Saturday evening for her and Rob to babysit. “We can pick her up and bring her to my apartment so you can have the house to yourself, if you want.”
“That’d be real nice, Michelle. I appreciate it. And Eden loves you. I know she’ll be tickled.”
Michelle shot up a prayer that Rob would be available that night and mentally ransacked her closet for something to wear that was cute but wouldn’t look like she was trying too hard.
Eden actually cried when Michelle opened the door a few minutes later to head home. Her promises that she’d be back soon did nothing to assuage the little girl’s tears, and by the time Michelle climbed into her car, the baby-shaped vacuum in her heart was big enough to drive a semitrailer through.
Chapter 22
“Don’t worry about a thing. We’ll have her home by nine o’clock.” Michelle stood in the doorway at the Prestons’ house, bouncing Eden on one hip. The little girl was ready for the ride back to Michelle’s apartment, bundled up in a pink coat with a ruff of pink fur around the hood and looking like an Eloise Wilkin illustration from one of Michelle’s Little Golden Books. She had a collection of over fifty of the children’s books in her hope chest.
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