“Listen,” he said, cupping a hand to one ear.
She did likewise. The gentle trickle echoed in the hushed cavern the snow had created. It was its own kind of music. “Beautiful,” she breathed. “All of it.”
“You are what’s beautiful,” he said, then looked away, as if he hadn’t intended for that to come out.
Before she could think how to respond, he looked back and took a step toward her. He took her face in his hands and kissed her. Briefly, tenderly…an almost innocent gesture.
Still, Michelle felt something far stronger simmering beneath the surface. She didn’t dare kiss him back. But when he pulled away, she brought her fingers to her lips, as if she could seal in the warmth of his lips.
“We’d better get back,” Rob said, sliding his hand down the arm of her coat and catching her fingers up in his again. “That is probably a road to nowhere.”
For a split second she thought about playing dumb, but she knew exactly what he meant and instead went for broke. “Don’t be so sure, Rob Merrick. Don’t be so sure.”
It wasn’t until her head hit the pillow just after midnight that she realized she hadn’t given Kevin Ferris one thought the entire day.
* * *
“Becky, you look fantastic!” Michelle could hardly believe the transformation in her friend. It was Saturday, and she’d been babysitting Eden most of the day to give Becky a break. And Becky had come home with her hair styled and frosted and wearing makeup in the hip, barely-there tones all the women’s magazines were advertising. “What’s the occasion?”
Becky looked embarrassed. “Does there have to be an occasion? You wear makeup every day, and your hair always looks nice.” She put a hand on her growing middle. “Besides, it helps me not to think about how fat I’m getting.”
“Stop it!” She felt bad for putting Becky on the spot. “You look great! Like a million bucks, as my dad would say. And you are not fat. That’s all baby. Beautiful baby.” She reached to touch Becky’s belly, pushing away the twinge of jealousy that came. The baby wasn’t due until mid-January, but Becky looked as if she could pop any day.
“I just don’t want to be one of those moms who lets herself go, you know?” Becky looked sheepish.
“Yeah. I’ve thought about that too. If I ever get to be a mom, I mean…”
Becky looked taken aback. “Of course you’ll get to be a mom.”
Michelle ignored her, sorry she’d brought up the subject. “I don’t know how you do it. Every time I babysit for Eden, I’m wiped out after only a few hours.”
“It’s hard sometimes. Not having anybody to give me a break—” Becky stopped and shook her head. “That didn’t come out right. Here you are doing exactly that. I appreciate you letting me have some time away today. I didn’t mean to sound ungrateful.”
“I know what you meant. And you deserve it. Besides, you know I love watching Eden.” As if on cue, Eden toddled in from the dining room, where she’d been stacking building blocks. She started for her mother then stopped short and burst into tears. “Mama?”
Michelle laughed. “She doesn’t recognize you!”
Becky knelt and held out her arms. “Come here, baby. It’s me. Do you like Mama’s hair?”
Eden must have been convinced by the sound of her mother’s voice, for she reached up and touched the platinum streaks in Becky’s brown hair. “Pretty?”
“You like it, huh? Well, we’ll see what your daddy says.”
Mack had pleaded guilty and had been sentenced to eighteen months in the pen at Leavenworth. It was almost six hours round-trip, and Becky’s car wasn’t dependable enough to make the trip. Michelle couldn’t imagine how they would maintain any kind of relationship for that long. And while Michelle knew it was hard for Becky to be a single parent with a husband in prison, she also was glad Becky had some time to decide what she wanted to do when Mack got out. She hoped he didn’t get out too soon—and that he would get help for his problems while he was serving time. Mostly, she hoped Becky would do whatever it took to keep herself and Eden safe.
“Mama pretty.” Eden plucked at Becky’s hair again and jabbered something Michelle couldn’t understand.
But Michelle noticed that Eden had started talking more now that the issues with Mack were settled. Becky seemed more at peace. Maybe it had more to do with the fact that she was working full-time now, waitressing at Milt’s while Eden stayed with a woman who babysat for five other toddlers.
Becky had cried on Michelle’s shoulder when she realized she’d have to put Eden in day care, but she really had no choice now that Mack wasn’t contributing a salary. It wasn’t easy, but at least Becky and Eden were safe now, and that was worth a lot.
“I’d probably better get going,” Michelle said. “I promised my folks I’d come for dinner tonight.”
Becky laughed. “You make it sound like a chore. I’d be turning cartwheels if someone was cooking for me.”
“Oh. I didn’t mean it to come out that way. Really, I didn’t.” Becky had been good for her, helping her to not take her blessings for granted. It gave her an idea of another way she could help Becky. Michelle had enjoyed cooking in her apartment, but it was hard to cook for only one person. It would be an easy matter to make double and bring meals to Becky once in a while.
Driving to Mom and Dad’s later, she remembered Becky’s gentle chiding and thanked God again for the loving parents and the happy family she’d grown up in. She’d taken them for granted far too long.
But even in her “thanksgiving” mode, she felt a desperate sense of—she couldn’t even put her finger on it. It wasn’t that she was depressed or angry or even bored. She didn’t mind her work—enjoyed it even, most days—but if someone told her she would still be here even one year from now, she would despair.
Something about her life right now felt like she was “on hold.” She wanted to feel passionate about something again. And she did feel passion when she thought of Becky and Eden and her own family—Mom and Dad and Allen. But that was exactly the point. It was the idea of family that made her heart beat faster, that made her feel purpose surge through her veins. She wanted that for herself. And more and more when she thought of family, she thought of Rob.
So I’m back to this again, Lord. I can’t seem to help it. I want a husband, and I want babies. Is that wrong of me, God? Is it too much to ask?
She got no answer, but she was learning to wait. She’d made her request. And now she would be patient and trust that the answer would come when God’s time was right.
Chapter 37
Traffic on Kellogg was the worst he’d ever seen it, and for the hundredth time, Rob wondered why he’d ever wanted to work in Wichita. And to make matters worse, he hated his new job. With a passion.
Maybe it wasn’t fair to make that judgment after only a few weeks on the job, but he found himself living for the weekends and feeling grateful he’d at least had the sense to get a Monday-through-Friday schedule. Since the Eagle was a daily paper, he was fortunate not to be on the weekend staff.
At least not yet. After working for Clemson for a few weeks, Rob was starting to suspect that the man actually had a vendetta against Dad and was summarily taking it out on Robert III.
The bottom line was: unless something changed in the near future, he’d made a huge mistake. To top it off, he was coming back to Bristol every night and putting in three or four hours at the Beacon as well. What was really sad was that those overtime hours were the highlight of each day.
Of course that was because if he hustled, he could usually get to the Beacon before Michelle left for the day. Most of the time he got there only in time to wave at her as she left the parking lot. Still, it was better than not seeing her at all.
The weeks had gone by in a blur of trying to learn the new job while keeping Dad happy at the Beacon. Since their walk that snowy night, he’d only really seen Michelle twice for any length of quality time. Once when he’d run into her in the library and the
y’d sat and talked till old Mrs. Beakman kicked them out at closing, and another time when they happened to be at the Bristol Grocery at the same time. All those encounters had done was remind him what a fool he was for leaving the Beacon. And as much as he’d wanted to, he hadn’t been able to finagle another kiss on either occasion. Oh, but the memory of that night on the bridge kept him hoping.
He glanced at the clock on the dashboard: almost five already. He ordinarily got off work at four, but they’d had a stupid news meeting this afternoon, and since it was Thursday, Michelle would likely have gone home early. His hopes for another encounter with her were pretty much shot.
But when he pulled in behind the Beacon office, he was pleased to see her car was still there. Immediately guilt replaced his pleasure, since it was probably his fault that she was having to work late on a Thursday.
Dad had been quick to express appreciation for the extra hours Rob put in, but he feared those hours kept his father from hiring a full-time replacement—that, and Dad’s hope that Rob would change his mind and come back to the Beacon full-time. Unfortunately, the time he put in here wasn’t enough to keep the other employees from having to take up the slack, and he’d gotten a less-than-friendly reception the first couple of days he showed up back at the office.
He went in through the back door. The office was quiet. He heard Myrtle on the phone in Reception, and he’d seen Joy’s car in the parking lot, so she was here somewhere. And of course Dad was always here until late. But Rob would have Michelle mostly to himself. His spirits lifted exponentially.
He found her in her cubicle looking beautiful as ever. She wore her hair loose today, spilling over her back and shoulders like a cape. She was hunched over the Selectric, deep in concentration.
He stood and watched her for a minute before he spoke. “You’re working late again?”
She jumped at the sound of his voice, but when she saw it was him, she rewarded him with a smile. “I’m just finishing up. Stupid school board meeting.”
He knew she was thinking of the way he used to tag them “school bored meetings.” They cracked up at the same moment.
“Well, I guess I’d better get busy.” He sighed, knowing she would think he was exhausted from his day at the Eagle, but in truth, it was a sigh of disappointment that she would soon be leaving.
But she winced and said, “Hey, I have a huge favor to ask.”
“Shoot.”
“Would you mind helping me with some film? In the darkroom. I’m trying to purposely overexpose some film and I’m not sure about the settings.”
“Now?”
She shrugged. “Whenever you have time. I’ve got stuff to work on until you’re ready.”
“I’m ready now. What speed film are you using?”
“I don’t know. Whatever was in the drawer.” She jumped up, scooped the camera off her desk, and led the way to the darkroom.
He followed her in and shut the door behind them. Michelle set to work fixing the chemical baths, moving about the small space with the familiarity of someone who’d done this may times.
“Look at you,” he said. “I remember when you first started. You didn’t know a canister from a banister.”
She laughed. “Sad but true.”
“You’re an old hand at this now. I’m impressed.”
She smiled up at him, her eyes sparkling in the yellow light from the single bulb overhead. “I learned from the best.”
“Well, I don’t know about that. I kind of miss the photography, though.”
“Oh? You don’t ever take pictures for the Wichita paper?”
“No, the Eagle has full-time photographers. That’s all they do. Any time I go out on a story—which isn’t very often, unfortunately… But anyway, if I’m doing a story that needs pictures, I take a photog with me.”
“Must be nice.” She picked up the camera. “Okay, I’m ready. Would you hit the light for me?”
They chatted about their respective jobs while she prepared the film. He talked her through the developing, relishing being enclosed in this familiar room with her. She was in a playful mood, and he was loving every minute.
He knew it’d been hard for her to come back into this room that first time after the shooting. But judging by the way she was flirting with him—there was no other word for it—he was pretty sure the shooting wasn’t what she had on her mind now.
When the photos started to come to life, he moved closer, intent on giving her a happier memory of the darkroom. He had a feeling she was expecting it. Maybe even anticipating it. He didn’t want to disappoint her.
She sloshed the photo paper in the bath with the photo tongs. “Do you think it’s been long enough?” She looked over her shoulder at him.
“I think it’s been too long,” he said, purposely misinterpreting her question. “Way too long.” He took the tongs from her hand and placed them on the counter. Then, taking her by the shoulders, he turned her to face him. He placed a featherweight kiss on her forehead, testing.
She leaned into it, her breath quickening. Needing no more encouragement, he kissed the tip of her nose, working his way to her waiting lips.
“Rob…” She came up for air, and even in the dark he could see the longing in her eyes. “I’ve missed you so much.”
“Not as much as I’ve missed you. It’s murder without you filling my days.”
“I know what you mean,” she whispered against his cheek.
A quick rap at the door made them both gasp.
“Just a sec!” Rob shouted. Too late.
The door swung open and the light flickered on.
At the same moment, Michelle dove to save the film and Rob dove to turn out the light.
“What the—” His father stood there blinking. “What are you two doing in here?”
Rob evaded the question. “Didn’t you see the red light?”
“I saw something that looked a little like a red light district—”
Michelle gave a little gasp that turned into a giggle.
His dad gave him a pointed look. “No, son, the red light was not on.” He glanced over Rob’s shoulder to Michelle. “Apparently you were too distracted to turn it on.”
Rob felt Michelle go still behind him. He reached behind him for her hand and squeezed it reassuringly. For some odd reason, Dad didn’t seem all that upset.
His father looked toward the ceiling as if trying to think how to handle this. Finally he sighed and put a hand on the doorknob. “I hope that film wasn’t important. You two salvage what you can and meet me in my office in ten minutes.”
Or maybe he was so furious, they were only seeing the calm before the storm.
* * *
Mr. Merrick was waiting behind his desk when Michelle reached his office. Rob had sent her on ahead while he finished cleaning up the darkroom, which she thought was pretty cowardly of him. It was his dad after all. And his idea to go and kiss her like that.
Well, that wasn’t exactly true. She’d definitely had the idea long before Rob’s lips ever touched hers. But he was the one who’d acted on it first.
It struck her that in only five months of employment, she’d sat in this office waiting for Mr. Merrick to chew her out more times than any individual ought to and still remain employed. But tonight may have been the last straw.
Rob came in and she glanced up at him, but he only threw her a little smile. One she couldn’t quite interpret.
“Close the door, Robert,” Mr. Merrick said.
Uh-oh. That was never a good sign.
Rob reached around and gave the door a nudge without getting up from his chair.
Mr. Merrick looked back and forth between them. “Are you two trying to send me into early retirement?”
“Sorry, Dad. It was my fault. Don’t blame Michelle. It won’t happen again.” Rob glanced at her and winked. “Not in the darkroom, anyway.”
Even Mr. Merrick couldn’t keep a straight face at that. But after a minute he sobered. �
�All right. This is getting ridiculous. You two are obviously crazy for each other. Your antics are going to get you both into trouble.”
Michelle held her breath.
“So here’s what I suggest.” Mr. Merrick looked hard at Rob and shook a finger at him. “You need to go get a ring and propose to this girl. And you”—he turned to Michelle—“need to put him out of his misery and say yes.”
Her jaw dropped. She snuck a glance at Rob. Surely she’d heard wrong. But, no, Rob looked as bewildered as she felt.
“As you both know,” Mr. Merrick went on, “we have a strict no-fraternizing rule at the Beacon. But we have no rules against nepotism. You two get married and you can do all your kissing at home and come in to the office ready to work and, if at all possible, ready to keep your hands to yourselves during work hours.”
Was he serious? This was not how she wanted her marriage-proposal story to go. Good grief!
Rob rose from his chair, still looking shell-shocked. “We—we will take that under advisement, sir.” He spoke slowly and deliberately, as if he couldn’t believe what he’d just heard, either. “May Michelle and I have a minute, please?”
“Tell you what…” Mr. Merrick opened the top drawer of his desk and withdrew several bills from the tray. He placed the stack of cash in Rob’s hand. “Take the woman to dinner and talk it over. On me.”
Chapter 38
“What on earth is wrong with your dad? Is he serious?” Michelle sat across from Rob in a corner booth at Milt’s, suddenly feeling self-conscious and vulnerable with him.
“I think he was dead serious.”
“But…we’ve only known each other for five months,” she said, still shocked they were even discussing this.
“So what, Mish?” He swept a hank of hair out of his eyes. “Is…what he proposed out of the question for you? We’ve worked together almost every day since we met. I think we know each other pretty well by now.”
“No, Rob. We don’t.”
“As well as anybody can know someone before they marry them and live with them for a while? Do you think your parents knew each other as well as they do now when they first got married?”
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