by Eric Vall
That was the most disgusting thing I could think of.
The next thing I knew, I felt the intensity of the jade embers grow as it beat against my skin. I no longer felt like I was plummeting. Instead, my entire body felt weightless. I opened my eyes and saw the Vegas skyline stretched out before us. It wasn’t moving.
I looked down and saw that my magic had halted our descent. The entire group now simply floated hundreds of feet in the air as the Excalibur burned behind us.
“I didn’t doubt you for a second.” Todd giggled as he did a breaststroke around me.
“Now let’s see if I can lower us down,” I sighed.
I outstretched both of my hands and made a slow, downward motion. The four of us began to descend towards the street below. Our room had been facing the back side of the resort, so the area below us was free of any reporters, firefighters, or terrified citizens. We continued to float downwards for another ten seconds, and then we landed safely on the pavement.
“Todd, I need you to go steal the keys from the valet,” I ordered the imp. “I’ll meet you at Lola with the girls.”
“Yes sir.” Todd saluted. “Where are we gonna go now?”
“Gallu is dead, but he said that he wouldn’t be the last.” I explained as I checked Liby’s pulse. It beat strongly, and I felt a shiver of relief descend my spine. She’d live another day.
Until Azazel sent his next minion after us.
“So, more are coming?” Todd sighed.
“No,” I said. “We are going to take the fight to them.”
Chapter 17
“How are you feeling, Cupi?” I asked as the blonde succubus stirred in the backseat.
“About as good as I can be for getting blasted by a hexed ball of Hellfire,” she said as she rubbed her eyes tiredly.
“Liby?” I asked when I saw her sister begin to wake up. “You okay?”
“I’ve been better,” she sighed. “What happened?”
“Jakey and I saved the day again!” Todd said. “But mostly me.”
My friend spent the next five minutes explaining what happened. It was mostly true, except for the part about him pulling a rocket launcher out of his pocket and blasting Gallu in the face to distract him so that I could stab him.
“Unfortunately, we’re not safe yet,” I continued after Todd had brought them up to speed. “Azazel is still out there, and he’s going to keep sending his lackeys after us until we’re dead. Unless we get to him first.”
“Azazel is one of Lucifer’s most powerful demon lords,” Libidine warned. “I’m not sure if facing him is a wise choice.”
“It’s the only choice,” I sighed. “There’s got to be a spell or a trap or something in one of Todd’s books that could bring him down.”
“There isn’t anything in there about killing Azazel,” Todd corrected. “I’ve read those things inside and out multiple times. Check it out for yourself.”
Todd pulled out one of his books and handed it back to the succubi. The girls leafed through the texts for a few minutes, and then Cupi made an “aha” sound.
“That’s it!” Cupiditas exclaimed as she held up the book and pointed to the page. “Todd, this book is from the Chapel of the Trinity. It’s the church that contains sacred texts over demonology from the Vatican.”
“It’s also been hidden away for who knows how long,” Libidine added. “How did you get your hands on that book?”
Todd shrugged. “The internet is a weird, magical place.”
“Do you think this Chapel of the Trinity would have more books? Could any of them help with our Azazel problem?” I looked back at Cupi in the rearview mirror.
“If there is any answer, it would be there.” The blonde succubus shrugged.
“So how are we supposed to find it?” I asked the experts in the car. “It doesn’t sound like this is a roadside attraction.”
“Ley Lines, maybe?” Liby suggested.
“Ohhhh, those things are a blast to read about!” Todd smiled. “Imaginary geographical lines that link up a bunch of paranormal locations? It’s cool shit, man.”
“Exactly.” The dark-haired succubus smiled. “If we follow these lines, perhaps we will find our church.”
“The actual location of The Chapel of the Trinity may be hidden, but allegedly it is somewhere in New England,” Cupi retorted and looked at Todd. “That’s where we can start. You did bring your book with the Ley Line map, right?”
“Cupi,” Todd snickered and shook his head. “Do you really think an occultist like myself would go anywhere without it? That’s like, paranormal investigation 101.”
I rubbed my eyes as I thought about our next destination. New England was days away, and that was only if we didn’t take any breaks. But finding this place was the only shot we had at ending this thing once and for all. We continued down the interstate for what felt like hours as Todd and the succubi studied the map.
“Maybe this wasn’t as bright of an idea as I originally thought,” Todd muttered from the passenger seat as he flipped the Ley Line map upside down. “These things are impossible to read.”
“What?” I smirked. “Are you having issues figuring out how to find the cathedral that is impossible to find?”
“Still no word from the LVPD as to what caused the fire in the Excalibur Resort and Casino,” the newswoman’s voice crackled from Lola’s radio as we drove through the basin of the Rockies. “The only eyewitness, an employee at the resort, claims that a brown-haired man, two women, and their dog were staying in the room when the fire broke out. We go now to an exclusive first interview with the man who claims to have seen the perpetrators.”
“I went up to the room to deliver room service,” the voice of the room service attendant said. “These people must have been loaded, because they got the most expensive bottle of champagne we had! He gave me a huge tip, and I went on my way. I thought that the little thing with them was a dog, but I swear he looked like a demon.”
“And you think that it was this... demon who caused the chaos in the suite?” The newswoman was now completely disinterested in the man’s account.
“I think that what I witnessed was some real Heaven vs. Hell kind of thing,” the attendant swore. “There was a demon and then these two beautiful naked women. They could have been angels. I swear that little creature had red skin and ho--”
The interviewer’s words cut him off abruptly. “Unfortunately, that’s all the time we have for today, sir. Thank you for your testimony! Back to you, Maddy.”
“Well, you heard it here first, folks.” The original newswoman couldn’t contain her laughter. “Demons in the Sin City! Maybe next time we’ll cover an incident involving the Loch Ness Monster in the Grand Canyon.”
“Shit,” I sighed. “We left my credit card there, and they have my name on file. It’s just a matter of--”
“Naw, you’re cool bro,” Todd said.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Like, that first night, when you were getting paid out for all the winnings, I ran back to the front desk and then changed the name on your room to ‘Big Dick Johnson the Third. Then I changed the credit card number to 6969 6969 6969 6969!’”
“You what?” I gasped. “How?”
“Bro, I can turn invisible. Duh. I just waited for someone to log into the system and step away. Then I hacked it! I’m so smart.”
“Damn dude,” I laughed. “You really saved the day.”
“I know,” Todd said as he stretched his arms over his head. “It’s what any hero does for his sidekick.”
“Sidekick?” I asked.
“Shhhh, bro,” Todd whispered. “I would never, ever, ever say that to your face. Even if it’s true. You are my friend, and all. I like to think we are equals in this story.”
A few hours of driving later, we passed through the Rockies in Colorado and were on the plains of the eastern part of the state. As much as I loved the desert, I couldn’t help but marvel at the natural won
ders that acted as a divide between the Great Plains and the Southwest.
I would be lying if I’d said that I hadn’t been horrified at the thought of Lola traveling along mountain passes that were just big enough for our car to fit through. But Todd had assured us that his baby could make it through anything, and she had done well. Now it was nothing but an open road and cornfields between us and our destination. Unless we decided to take another detour.
“I think I’ve got it, guys!” Todd exclaimed as he jumped up and down in the seat beside me. He pointed to a spot on the map near Buffalo, New York.
“Why would there be a major Vatican-sanctioned Catholic Cathedral in Buffalo?” I asked the imp. “The city didn’t become a major one until the mid-1800s, a long time after the Revolution.”
“We had a Revolution once.” Libidine nodded excitedly. “Did yours involve archangels opening a rift between the Realms, as well?”
“No, ours just had a lot of complaining about taxes and tea.” I laughed. “We won, though!”
“Ah.” Libidine hung her head toward the floor of the car. “We were not so lucky. The Army of the Divine was able to beat us back, but a few of the demons were able to make their way into Earth Realm, where they have remained since.”
“It was actually where we first met.” Cupiditas smiled. “Libidine here tried to cut off my head with a broadsword!”
Libidine chuckled. “You made me look like a complete fool. I was no match for you with your agility and hand-to-hand skills. I’m just glad you let me live!”
“So am I,” Cupi purred as she caressed the dark-haired succubus’ cheek.
I smirked as I glanced back in the mirror to watch the two succubi. “I’m trying to drive up here guys. No distractions from the back seat.”
“It’s not our fault you can’t take your eyes off us,” Liby said as she stuck out her tongue.
“So, about this Revolution you were talking about--” I started.
“Come on, Jake.” Todd slapped my shoulder. “The Revolution! When Lucifer fell from Heaven and brought a bunch of angels with him? That’s like, beginner stuff, man.”
Cupi nodded. “Exactly. It was when Lucifer first declared an all-out war against the forces of Heaven. There was lots of bloodshed, lots of death. Eventually, Lucifer’s minions were driven back from the Pearly Gates and banished to the pit of fire that you mortals know as Hell. But what most people don’t know is that most demons don’t stay in Hell. At least, not for long periods of time.”
“Why would we want to?” Libidine piped up. “It’s a terrible place!”
“Though we lower level demons are bound to our masters and overlords, those higher up on the chain can come and go as they please. Provided they aren’t defeated in battle and banished from the Earth with a hex,” Cupi explained.
I glanced back at the two succubi. “So what’s the deal with this Azazel guy? He sounds like he’s pretty far up the food chain.”
“Bro, you’re embarrassing me in front of the demons.” Todd laughed.
“Would you like to explain, Todd?” Cupiditas raised an eyebrow.
“Hell yeah, I do!” he said with a giggle. “And Jacob always told me those hours spent watching conspiracy theory videos was worthless.”
“Little did I know…” I admitted.
“About Azazel.” Todd turned to me and stuck out his hands to form a picture frame. “Think, like of the most badass general you can think of, like Patton or Napoleon or Ceasar, then multiply that times a thousand. Azazel was one of the Devil’s strongest warriors who literally taught the art of warfare to humans. A couple of biblical experts even claim that he was the one who gave the rock to Cain. How am I doing so far, girls?”
“So far, so good.” Cupi patted the imp on the head.
“Azazel was a Watcher. A metaphysical entity that was tasked with watching over the plight of man,” the imp continued. “He taught humans how to build weapons, deceive their brothers, and practice witchcraft. Until one day, the big man upstairs got tired of his shit and sent an archangel down to deal with him.”
“Raphael,” Liby corrected.
“Right, so now there’s this huge epic battle between Raphael and Azazel, which ends up with the demon being defeated and chained in a place of darkness until Judgement Day arrives,” Todd finished.
“Leave it to humans to forget the rest of the story.” Cupi rolled her eyes. “That was Raphael’s original intention, but it didn’t take long for Lucifer to send his servants after one of his most prized generals. Azazel is alive and well, but he’s been lying low ever since his defeat. His power is not as great as it once was, but he is still more powerful than Earl.”
“I wouldn’t really call sending a demon pimp and a bull-man assassin after a human lying low,” I said as we passed over the Colorado-Kansas border.
Cupi leaned forward and whispered in my ear, “You’re much more than a mere mortal, Jacob. He must have made an exception for you.”
“I’m touched,” I said as my stomach growled with hunger.
We had been so focused on getting away from the scene of the crime that we hadn’t eaten much more than a granola bar and some candy that we picked up the last time we stopped to get gas. It had to have been five or six hours ago. I was sure that I wasn’t the only one who was starving at this point. In the distance, I could see a large neon sign that flashed, “Truck Stop, Exit 96.”
It was like an oasis that sprung out of the vast emptiness of the plains and called to me like a siren. I flicked on my turn signal and headed toward the exit.
“I don’t know about you guys, but I could use some grub.” I patted my stomach.
“Bro, I could probably eat an entire cow right now, and that’s not just the munchies talking!” Todd agreed.
“We’re always read to eat.” Libidine nodded. “Earth Realm’s food is much tastier than what we have back home.”
“I think anything would taste better than roasted vargrats and insects,” The blonde succubus laughed.
“You laugh, but insects are a delicacy in some countries.” Todd raised his finger to the sky and closed his eyes as he tried to act scholarly.
We pulled up to the truck stop, and my eyes lit up with anticipation. The place looked like it had to have been at least thirty years old. A red neon sign lit up the dark Kansas sky, and there were cracks all over the parking lot. Shingles appeared to be missing from the roof. A couple of truckers stood outside smoking cigarettes. To the untrained eye, this place looked like a disaster, but Todd and I had been on so many late-night food expeditions that we knew that the shittier the truck stop looked, the better it was.
Todd licked his lips hungrily before he turned invisible and slid out of the car.
The succubi were still wearing the robes that they had been wearing during our stay in the Excalibur but they were now completely burnt and charred from the fight with Gallu.
“Sorry guys.” I shook my head back and forth. “In the rush to get out of the burning building, I completely forgot to grab our clothes.”
“We’ll just have to get new ones, then!” Libidine happily bounced up and down at the thought as she stepped out of the car.
“That shouldn’t be a problem,” I laughed. “But I will warn you that the fashion choices at this place probably aren’t quite as elegant as the ones back in Vegas.”
“Who cares where our clothes come from?” Cupiditas shrugged as we walked through the truck stop entrance. “I’m going to take them off the second I get a chance, anyway.”
First, the four of us went over to the store side of the building to check out the clothing options.
Cupiditas grabbed the first pair of pants and shirt she could find and then walked off to the bathroom to change.
“Do you like this one, Jacob?” Liby asked as she held up a simple baby blue T-shirt that read “I Heart Kansas,” with a piece of corn in place of where the heart symbol would usually be.
“I love it,” I laughed. �
�It’s quite homey.”
“What about these?” She picked up a pair of Daisy Duke cut-off shorts.
“Yes.” I nodded. “No questions asked.”
“Broooo.” I head Todd’s voice beg as two floating T-shirts appeared in front of me. “We need these.”
There were two black shirts, one adult-sized and the other toddler-sized, that had a picture of the Great Plains with the words “Just Plain High” scribbled across the torso.
“We can be twinsies!” He laughed.
“Why not?” I grabbed a pair of dollar-store quality jeans off the rack, took the shirt from the disembodied imp, and headed towards the men’s room to change.
Libidine giggled as she pounded on the women’s restroom door.
“Occupied!” Cupiditas’ voice called out in a panic.
“It’s just me, sister,” the dark-haired succubus laughed. “I’ve seen you naked a million times before.”
The door of the restroom opened, and the succubus stepped in.
It only took me a minute or two to change out of the robe and into the cheap clothes that I’d picked out from the truck stop store. When I was done, I stepped out to see how the succubi were faring.
Cupiditas was the first to exit the restroom. She had on a pair of black leggings that had the name of a local university in boldface white letters down the side. Completing the blonde succubus’ oh-so-fashionable outfit was a casual gray v-neck that had a picture of a black bear on the front and said, “I’m a Real Bear.”
“Is this sufficient?” the athletic blonde smirked.
“That’ll do, Cupi. That’ll do,” I laughed.
Libidine walked out, and I nearly hit the floor. The curvy woman’s ass completely filled her cut-off jean shorts, and the bottom edges of her cheeks hung out beautifully. Even the tacky blue T-shirt clung to her perfect body and made my heart race.
“You two can make anything look good, can’t you?” I asked in disbelief.
“I think you mean the three of us,” Todd corrected as he appeared out of the bathroom with his Just Plain High shirt.