"Very nice," I said as I pitched a throwing star at some incoming bad guys, removing a head and making the others duck for cover. "I'm impressed. I will accept that gross pun and raise you a booty belch, anal salute, cheek squeak and sphincter siren."
"I'm going to be ill, but I will counter your offer with a butt bazooka, a crack splitter, Horton hears a poo, and a nice bout of rectal turbulence," she shot back as she beheaded something flying low over her head. Thankfully it wasn't a Vamp.
"Can I play?" Hank asked.
"Of course," I told him.
"Panty burp, roar from the rear, air tulip, and ass ripper," he added proudly.
"I will marry you," I said with a grin. "Your disgusting mind matches my own. And you deserve my friendship," I told Dima. I gauged how fast the enemy was coming and how close the Cows would let them get before they let go with a blast of insane methane.
"Don't know if that's a compliment or a curse," Dima said as she backed farther away from the Cows. "Will we live through this?"
"Um… not sure," I admitted. "Stay upwind and hold your nose."
"How will I breathe?" she asked.
"Through your mouth," I said logically.
"Oh, hell no. Then I'll taste it," she gagged out.
"Point. Can't help you there," I said, as I pondered the situation and waited to see what happened next.
The Wolves and Dragons didn't want us alive, but they were hesitant in their attack. Possibly Hank's and my reputation for killing Dragons had surfaced. Or maybe they were simply too important to fight—something they usually left to the commoners—like me.
However, I didn't have to ponder it long. Nope. What I saw would stay with me always, even though I would pay good money to have it removed. The butt yodeling was only the tip of the iceberg. The rest was almost unexplainable.
The Cows turned, bent over and ran backwards toward the incoming aggressors. The Dragons and Council Wolves were confused and amused. Clearly they had no clue what was coming next. I believe their condescending shouts were their undoing. The Cows might have been satisfied with asphyxiating them, but the bovine slurs were what landed them in hell… which was where I assumed most of them were headed, one way or another anyway.
The booty bombs were in technicolor and they were loud. I now wondered if the explosions earlier were my Cow friends practicing. Dragons literally fell from the sky and Wolves curled into balls and convulsed as they gasped for air.
The Vampyres cheered loudly. Their fangs glistened as they blew raspberries and kisses to their bovine loves. The feral Wolves had backed up to the front porch and were clawing desperately to get in. I didn't blame them, but I didn’t let them. I was unsure if it was to get to Angela or to get away from the smell.
The next part is what I wanted to close my eyes for, but morbid curiosity and healthy respect for five foot tusks made me watch. There was a reason Cows were feared. Dwayne's gals were no longer pacifists. They had found their inner killer with a vengeance and they were having a blast.
The Council Wolves and the Dragons… not so much.
Hank pulled me to the porch along with Dima and Dwayne. It was the first time in my life I relaxed in a battle. There was nothing for me to do. It was all being done for me… and Hank… and Dwayne… and Dima and the Vamps.
After the initial butt crack concert, the Cows went berserk. It was not exaggerated how poisonous their tusks were. A simple prick would have killed even the strongest paranormal. However, the girls weren't satisfied to poke and run. They were more into gore, shake, and hurl at least three hundred feet or so. They seemed particularly focused on the Dragons. This made sense, considering the Dragons had burnt their family alive.
It was like watching a warped child's version of what happened to bad guys. It was bloody, ugly and short. Giant clouds of purple Dragon smoke and small fires littered the lawn. Dwayne's grass would definitely have to be re-seeded. It was a freakin' mess.
"He got away," Dima cried out as she ran the grounds and searched for her father. "Damn it, he got away."
This was not good. At all.
"We'll find him and we'll kill him," I promised her as I stepped over the dead bodies of Aramini and Gades.
It would be interesting explaining this clusterhump to the rest of the Council. I had no idea if they would believe us or if they were all in on this sick game. Yet another big hurdle to not look forward to.
"Guys, back off." Hank growled at the feral Wolves as they continued to try and claw their way into the house. They were led by the two who were familiar to me. My instinct was to shift and help them—strange.
"I don't know if Dwayne will want you guys in the house if you're going to fight or cause trouble," I told them. "Tell me what's wrong."
I could feel their tension and I shared it. I had no clue why, but a feeling of unease skittered up my spine. It was strong and I wasn't able to push it to the side or ignore it. The Wolves had spoken to me once before and I was hoping now they would speak again.
"She's in there with my mother," the female said. "You must stop her."
What the hell was she talking about? Two things jumped around in my head. The fact I was correct—the Wolf at my feet was indeed my mother because she referred to Granny as her mother. Then I lost track of my shock trying to figure out what the hell she was talking about.
"Oh shit," I yelled as I turned and burst through the front door when I figured it out. I looked wildly around for my granny. The feral Wolves were on my heels along with Hank, Dwayne and Dima.
And then I spotted her. She was seated on a dark brown leather couch which had been pushed up against a wall. There were no windows behind it and it had the best view of all the entrances and exits into the Great Room. Once an agent, always an agent. Granny had looked bad earlier—now she looked positively horrific. Angela had put her in restraints and she was bleeding from multiple wounds to her face and head. My stomach lurched as Angela held a large silver machete to my granny's neck. My boss was calm and she was smiling.
And she was about to die.
Chapter 21
"So this was your project?" I asked casually, pointing to the feral Wolves.
"All of you disarm or her head goes," Angela said tightly.
"Not a problem," I assured her as I took every weapon I had on my body off and put them on the floor, as did the others. "You want to explain?"
"You were supposed to die," she spat. "First with the Dragons in Hung and then with the Dragons in Illinois. Either would have killed your parents. It was part of the master plan to break them. How the hell are you still alive?"
She squinted at me as if I were a freak of nature...actually, I was.
"Just lucky, I suppose. How did you know we were in Illinois?" I asked, wanting to understand why a woman I liked and trusted had turned on me so viciously.
"You're tagged. I have GPS on you," she sneered. "When any recruit joins we chip them. We can protect you that way."
"Or conveniently find us and kill us," I added.
"Yes. That too," she added with a satisfied grunt.
It was fairly easy to get Angela to monologue. She liked to hear herself talk. Normally I tried to ignore her, but not today. I wanted to hear every word she had to say.
"Why? What did I do to you that I needed to die for?"
"You exist," Angela shouted. She grabbed Granny by the hair and ran the knife down the side of her face, creating a new scar and a new pool of blood.
What she couldn't see was the maniacal look on Granny's face and the long sharp Vampyre fangs that had dropped down for a visit. I'd say Angela had maybe five more minutes… and I wanted answers.
"Ooookay," I said as I sat down on the floor and got comfortable. "Tell me why my existence is such an issue for you."
"You should have been mine," she hissed as spittle gathered at the corners of her mouth.
How had I never noticed her crazy before? The feral Wolves, aka my mom and dad, growled low in their chests.
"I'm sorry. What?" Hers? How in hell should I have been hers?
"I wanted him. He should have been mine," she whined.
Granny rolled her eyes. I could see it was all she could do not to go ballistic on Angela, but I guess she wanted answers too. Angela didn't have any clue how difficult it would be to kill my Granny now—considering she was immortal.
"He never would have been yours," Granny snapped and clenched her fists. "He was engaged to his mate—my daughter. He never wanted you, you horrible stupid woman."
"Shut up," Angela shouted. "John never got the chance to know me because of her." She hissed as she stared daggers at my mother in her Wolf form.
"Whoa whoa whoa," I said, shaking my head as I tried to keep a lid on my need to tear Angela's head from her body. Hank's low growling beside me let me know he was on the same page. "You got spurned by my dad, so you had him and my mom put into an experiment that kept them permanently in Wolf form?"
"Yes. It was my idea," Angela crowed proudly. "I was revered for it by the Council members who were funding the project and by the scientists. We could take problem Werewolves and use them to create perfect fighting machines."
"That's sick, Angela. You're no different from Hitler," I ground out.
"Thank you," she said with a bow of her head.
"It was not a compliment, you piece of trash. I missed out on having a mother and a father all of my life because you're a jealous psycho. You have ruined the lives of countless people and families… thirty I know of, and all because you're mentally ill with delusions of grandeur."
"What kind of magic was used?" Hank demanded in a tone that made everyone in the room flinch, including Angela.
God, he was hot when he was scary.
"Like I'd ever tell you." Angela laughed and pulled on the few hairs left on her head. "It's my ticket to stay alive."
The sound of her hollow and pathetic laugh bounced around my brain and made me feel clammy and ill. No, she probably wouldn't tell the secret, but if anyone could figure out how to reverse a spell or find a chemical compound that could solve this problem, it was Junior. We probably didn't even need all the information.
"You were my partner," Granny growled angrily. "You took my daughter and my son from me."
"You didn't think I was good enough for him," Angela bellowed.
"What are you talking about?" Granny shot back, completely mystified. "I had no clue your sick mind was even going there. You only met John and Annie once!"
"Yes," Angela agreed moodily, "but then I followed him for a year and ran into him randomly on purpose. But no… he was too enchanted by your whore to notice me," Angela screamed as she went to cut Granny's face again.
"So finding me and hiring me was all just a game to you?" I questioned loudly. I was trying to distract her from slicing and dicing my granny while also trying to make sense of how someone could be so delusional. "You had this planned all along?"
"Yes, I did. And you're a whore just like your mother."
I was a lot of things, but whore was not one of them—not by a long shot. Don't know if it was the word whore, or her tone of voice, or the fact it had been a really long week for everyone, but her name-calling was the last straw. Much to Angela's shock Granny tore out of her restraints like they were made of tissue paper and turned on her with a fury like I'd never seen. I dove like an Olympic swimmer onto the couch just as my parents sprang from their spots across the room and went for her neck.
And then suddenly it was over.
I have no idea who ended Angela's life. I don’t know if it was me, my mother, my father or my grandmother. It didn't matter. She was destroyed by the family she destroyed.
"Well, that was messy." Dwayne broke the silence with a ridiculous but accurate comment.
"All of this was because of unrequited love?" I asked in a daze as I backed away from the carnage that used to be Angela.
I stared at my parents and wondered what they looked like in their human form. I wondered if I would ever see them in their human form.
"Can you shift?" Hank asked as he got down low to examine the wounds on my parents.
Granny had already healed. Werewolf-Vampyre genes were clearly superior.
My father slowly shook his head no and pressed his body against my mother's.
"Not all of the Wolves are like us," my father said to me. "Most want nothing to do with normal Weres or humans. They're dangerous, but deserve a chance at rehabilitation if we find a cure."
"I agree," I said aloud. "He says some of the feral Wolves are dangerous and we need to proceed with caution, but they deserve a chance to live too."
"You're beautiful, Essie, and I love you so very much," my mother said with a thick voice filled with sorrow. "I am so sorry."
I grabbed Hank so I didn't fall to the floor as my knees buckled. After all the danger was over I was left with a massive amount of emotion I wasn't quite sure what to do with. I had wished my whole life that my mom and dad were alive… and now they were.
Maybe not in the way I had hoped for, but they were alive. I could have a relationship with them. We could be a very unconventional little family.
Slowly I crawled to the Wolves and wedged myself between them. Granny looked on with a smile on her beautiful undead face. I laid my head against their necks and breathed them in. They were mine. This was by no means perfect, but it was something large—something large and wonderful. My Granny was a partial Vampyre and my parents were Wolves twenty-four seven and I was…
I was a scattered girl who could shoot the teats off a cow in the next county over.
I was a girl without a job or a boss.
I was a girl who was wildly in love with her mate.
And I was pretty sure I was the girl who talked Dwayne into wearing the horrid poofy dress for her at her wedding.
Life was looking pretty damn good right now.
"Hank wants six kids," I told my mom as I traced the markings on her snout. "I say he's smoking crack."
"I want ten," Hank corrected with a chuckle. He sat down on the floor and offered his respect to my father by keeping his head lower than his.
"So not happening."
I giggled and punched his arm as my mother nudged him and licked his cheek.
"Jesus Hesus," Dwayne shouted, startling everyone. "Your daddy can give you away at the wedding!"
"Yes. He can," Granny said with glee and a fit of giggles. "Of course we can't invite any humans—they'd just flip if you walked down the aisle with a Wolf and then kissed it."
I glanced at my father who looked sad but hopeful.
"I would be so happy if you would walk me down the aisle," I told him as I ran my hand along the side of his enormous head.
His fur was soft and I had to fight a tremendous urge to curl up next to him and cuddle.
"It would be my honor," he said gruffly and pushed his head against my hand.
"Done," I said with satisfaction and a huge hug for my dad. "Where's Dima?" I asked as I scanned the room.
"She went to check on someone," Dwayne said with a wink.
I was worried about her and her son, but we would stand by her one hundred percent.
"Um… sir," Hank said to my father. "It's a bit past the actual point of asking."
"Yes," Dwayne agreed. "They've been having sex for years."
"Oh my god, Dwayne," I shrieked and went to slap his bald head. "That is massively unnecessary information for my parents—and my granny."
"Correct, but it's so much fun to see the look on your face when I overshare."
"While it’s all kinds of awesome for you, it's totally sucktastic for me. Do it again and you're wearing a plain old black tuxedo to the wedding," I informed him with raised brows.
His squeal of terror was music to my ears. It was difficult to make eye contact with my parents after the great reveal of my sex life, but what was done was done. However, I was going to think of something to tell Dwayne's girls guaranteed to make
him want to hide for a week or two. It was going to be a challenge, considering Dwayne had no filter and very little shame…
"Anyway, back to what I was saying before Dwayne started spouting all that fiction," Hank said while staring at the ceiling and trying to gather himself. "I love your daughter. I have loved her since the day I laid eyes on her. I just want you to know I will make her happy and love her for every moment I live."
My dad grunted his approval and my mom licked his cheek again. I simply stared at him.
"I love you so much it makes my teeth hurt," I said as I threw myself into his strong arms.
Some Were In Time Page 24