by Bella Jewel
Kaity shakes her head. “No. You did. You got us out of there.”
“I got you out the door, and the rest was on you. I’m so proud.”
She snuggles closer. “It was terrifying, Marlie. Being in there, wondering if I was going to be okay, wondering if I was ever going to see the people I loved again, wondering if I was ever going to be free. I felt just a fraction of the fear you felt, and it was enough to nearly destroy me.”
I hug her closer. “But it didn’t destroy you. And it won’t. Take it from me, letting it eat you alive is only going to halve your life. We escaped. We made it. We have the chance to do something good, something amazing.”
“I’ve been thinking,” Kaity says. “Maybe there is something we can do. Something to raise awareness, not just for people who have been in a situation like that, but for anyone who’s scared or afraid. Being there, being alone and scared, it was the worst feeling in the world. But some people live like that every day, in all kinds of situations. I want to do something. I want some good to come out of this.”
Pride swells in my chest. “You’re incredible, Kaity. I think you’re right. I think we should do something for those people out there who are afraid and alone.”
She nods, and nestles in. “I heard Kenai yelling at Mom earlier.”
“Yeah, he sent her away.”
“Nobody has ever defended us like that before,” she whispers. “I like him, Marlie.”
“I like him too, honey.”
“Will you do something for me?”
I nod. “Of course. Anything.”
“Will you keep him?”
I laugh softly. “I will try.”
“Marlie?”
“Mmmm?”
“Are you going to be okay?”
I know what she’s asking. She’s asking if I’m going to be okay after surviving yet another horror. I don’t honestly know how to answer that question. After Clayton, I was so afraid, so broken, so horrified. But after surviving Hannah’s attack—and seeing Kaity come through it so admirably—I feel stronger, more determined, like I might actually get through this one unscathed. I guess there are really only two choices for me. I can let it eat me alive, like last time, or I can use the experience to do some good, like Kaity plans to do.
Either way, it won’t take away what happened.
It’s up to me to choose how I live with it.
I look to Kaity and meet her eyes. “Yeah, I am going to be okay. It won’t be easy. There will be times when it’s hard. But I have you, and I have Kenai, and we’re okay. Finally, we’re okay. I won’t let you down again, Kaity. I won’t lose you once more. I won’t sink. I think you’re right. We have a chance to do something amazing.”
She smiles and takes my hand.
“I know exactly what we should do,” she says. “Do you trust me?”
I smile. “Always, little sister.”
Always.
THIRTY-ONE
SIX MONTHS LATER
“Marlie, Kaitlyn, can you tell us why you decided to open this place?”
I tuck my hand into Kaity’s and smile for the camera, knowing how hard this is on her. I remember how afraid I was when the press first aimed their cameras at me. I remember exactly how it felt. Sure, our situation is different, but it’s still terrifying and it’s still nice to know you have someone holding your hand, just in case you fall.
I decide to speak.
“We created a safe place for abuse victims, be they women, children, even men. A place where they can come to escape, to feel safe.”
“What types of abuse?” a reporter asks, shoving a microphone towards my face.
“As you know, I’ve been in the hands of two killers, and one of them attacked my sister. It’s safe to say I’ve learned a few things during those times.” I pause for effect. “I know how it feels afterwards. I know how it feels to be alone. The abuse Kaitlyn and I suffered was just one type. There are hundreds of people out there who are living through some terrifying ordeals. We want them to know they have a place they could come to feel safe.”
“What a wonderful idea,” a reporter says, stepping up closer. “Kaitlyn, did you have input in this idea?”
All the cameras swing to Kaity, and for a moment I think she’ll choke, but instead she lets my hand go, takes a deep breath, and steps forward. “The center was definitely something I had input in. I too wanted to provide a safe place for everyone who feels there is no escape, who live with fear consuming their lives daily. I never truly understood what my sister went through until my own ordeal, and if I can provide comfort to someone feeling the same thing, then I’m more than willing.”
“When will the center open?” a reporter shouts.
“How will you fund it?” asks another.
“Will you work there?”
“Are you still seeing Kenai Michelson?”
“We are currently working on finding a location for the center, and will announce details shortly. Thank you,” I say.
I turn to Kaity. “That’s all we need to give them.”
I take her hand again, and we push past the reporters.
Just before we get inside, a soft voice calls out. “Marlie? Kaity?”
We both turn to see Yasmin on the sidewalk, flowers in her hand, smiling at us. She looks radiant with her beautiful silvery white hair framing her beaming face. But mostly, she looks happy.
“Yasmin!” I say, stepping forward. “How are you?”
“I’m sorry to just barge in on you, but I heard you’d be here today and I wanted to see you both. Especially you, Marlie. I didn’t get a chance to see you after we got to the hospital, but I want to thank you for what you did for me. Words can’t express how grateful I am that you saved my life.”
My heart swells and I step forward, pulling her in for a hug. She hesitates for a second, then gladly accepts. I hang on to her for a second, then Kaity joins in and we all hug, reporters be damned.
When we pull back, I ask her, “Are you okay? Are you doing well?”
She nods. “I’ve been getting help, and I feel like I’m healing. I’m getting there. I still have hard days, but mostly I’m just grateful I’m alive.”
“I’m glad,” I say, squeezing her arm.
“If you and Kaity are in town again soon, maybe we can catch up?” she suggests. “Here’s my number.”
She hands me a slip of paper.
“That would be awesome!” Kaity grins.
I nod, too.
“Okay.” Yasmin smiles, her face lighting up. “Well, give me a call. I should get going, my mom is waiting. Thank you both again.”
“Talk soon.” I wave.
“Bye!” Kaity calls as we head inside.
* * *
After a long day at the center, a sleek black truck pulls up to the curb, and we both climb in. The second I’m buckled up, I turn and smile at the love of my life. Kenai is dressed casually, hair messy, stubble on his chin. The same gorgeous, dominating man I fell in love with. The same one who risked it all to save my life. I don’t know where I’d be without him.
“Hi there.” I smile, reaching over and taking his hand.
“Was that Yasmin I just saw?”
“Yeah, she wanted to say thanks and see if we wanted to catch up soon.”
He grins. “Must have been good to see her.”
“Yeah, it really was. I’ve been wondering how she’s been doing.”
“It makes you feel good, too,” Kaity pipes up from the back seat. “Knowing she’s okay, knowing we all are.”
“Yeah,” I say, shuffling deeper into the seat with a big smile on my face. “Yeah, it really does.”
“Proud of you, beautiful,” Kenai says, giving me a soft expression. An expression I’m learning to love more and more, because he saves it just for me.
I smile and look out the window. “You know, Kenai, I think Kaity and I might just change the world.”
Kaity giggles from the back seat.
K
enai squeezes my hand. “I could have told you that.”
I smile.
Kaity laughs.
Kenai is right beside me.
All is right in the world again.
* * *
A few months later and here I am about to cut the ribbon to the place I’ve been working so hard to open. Hundreds of people are gathered out in front of Sanctuary, waiting for it to open. Most of them just want to meet Kaity and me. But also in the crowd I can see the faces: the faces of the terrified, the worn, the tired, the scared, the lonely. They’re amongst them, shrinking away from the crowd yet waiting, with hope in their eyes, for a place where they can feel safe.
“I now declare Sanctuary open,” Kaity yells as the red ribbons falls.
The crowd cheers as Kenai steps up beside me, talking into his cell phone. He says something, then hangs up and puts an arm around Kaity and me. “Are you girls ready for this?”
We both nod, take a deep breath, and step to the side. The crowd rushes in, all them wanting to see what we’ve done to the inside. What kinds of services we provide. This is a massive moment. The opening of Sanctuary is everything. It will be in every newspaper and news story in the city, so we needed to make sure that when people stepped inside it for the first time, they felt it, they truly felt it.
I take a shaky breath, and then we all enter.
I stop as I step in to look around. Putting myself back in their shoes, letting my fear rise up and letting my body have a natural reaction to the space around me. I look at it through fresh eyes, and I really take it in.
This incredible place.
The space is huge, open and filled with such beauty it takes my breath away. We made it warm, lining the floors with sandy-colored wood planks. We kept the lights bright but warm, the walls a soft cream. The left wall, from one end to the other and top to bottom, is lined with books. All of them donated by people around the world wanting to help our cause—something Kenai set up. There are ladders that slide across the shelves, so people can climb up to get a book, and back down to spend hours browsing.
In the space are massive lounges and coffee stations, plush and warm, with throw pillows and blankets. Right in the middle is a large fireplace. A zone for people to feel safe and warm and content. A place where they can forget their troubles, a place where their fears are left behind. The building is fully secured and guarded. We want them to know that when they come in here, the ugly of the world can’t touch them.
Moving on from the library section, I glance over at the massive kitchen lining the back wall. Stocked with everything. I’ve hired cooks to make food daily—comfort food, food for the soul, food that make people feel safe and at home. In front of the kitchen is a station set up for sewing, knitting, arts and crafts, and painting. My therapist told me these things are good for distraction and mind processing. She said it would be an important station to have.
On the right side of the room are television screens, with hundreds of available movies, in front of big, comfy lounges. We purchased a massive popcorn machine and a soda machine that we will keep constantly stocked. All the movies are fun, romantic, and carefully picked with the help of experts to ensure good feelings.
And in the middle of the space is a massive circle of lounges, with coffee tables in the center. A place where people can sit and talk about the world, where they can make friends, meet like-minded people, or just sit and listen to others talk. A place where they can express their thoughts, or write, or sleep if that’s what they need to do.
I press a hand to my heart and a tear rolls down my cheek.
“You did incredible, sweetheart,” Kenai says, stepping up beside me, curling a hand around my waist and pulling me close. “This is all you.”
“Kaitlyn too. I knew I had to change something, but she insisted that we needed to use our experiences for something good. I just never thought it would be this … this…”
“Fucking incredible?”
I turn to him and press my face into his chest as my nose tingles from emotion.
“I’m proud of you, Marlie. So fucking proud. You make the world a better place. You’re giving people an escape. You’re providing a safe place. That takes guts, it takes determination, but mostly it takes an incredibly big heart. Look around you, and love what you’ve done. The lives that will be saved because of this place … I don’t think you’ll ever fully grasp.”
I sob and clutch him tighter.
Someone comes up behind us and wraps their arms around me.
Kaity.
She hangs on to me, resting her head on my back. “We did this,” she whispers.
I let Kenai go and turn to face my sister. She had to clip all of her beautiful red hair off. It’s now styled in a pixie cut, which suits her. She’s always been beautiful, but now more than ever. She has the same light in her eyes. The same hope. The same determination to help others. She didn’t let our experience beat her, she let it define her and create who she is.
“We did this, but mostly, you did this,” I whisper back.
“I love you, Marlie,” she says, hugging me tight.
“I love you, too.”
“Girls.”
Kaity and I both look to see our mother standing there with a bunch of flowers in her hands. We haven’t seen a lot of her since the ordeal with Hannah, both of us too disappointed in her behavior to make any further effort to contact her. So seeing her here … it’s shocking. She hasn’t reached out to us for months, and we both figured she’d just moved on with her life without us. She looks nervous, but her eyes widen as she takes it all in.
“I know there is nothing I can possibly say that will ever change what I did to you both,” she says as she looks to me then to Kaity.
“I don’t know why you’re here,” Kaity says, her voice shaky.
Mom reaches into her purse and pulls out a check. She hands it to me, and with trembling hands I take it.
“I failed as a mother. I know that now. The way I treated you after what happened, the way I let Kaity slip, the way I surrounded myself with that money. I was wrong. I have problems. I’m getting help to try and work on them. That can’t make up for what I’ve lost because of my actions, but I hope this can help you two create the life you both deserve. This place, it’s incredible. I’m so proud of my daughters.”
Tears burn under my eyelids and Kaity reaches over, grabbing my hand.
“I sold the house,” she says. “That’s everything I got from it. I want you to use it for your foundation, or for whatever you’d like. It’s up to you. I’ve got a job and a little apartment in town. I’m doing well. It was never my money. It was always yours, Marlie. But the fact of the matter is, I should have never released that book. I should have been a mother when you needed me, and I wasn’t. I can’t take that back, but I can try and make it better now. I hope it helps you both change the world with this place. Because you’re doing an incredible thing and I couldn’t be happier for you both.”
Kaity looks to me, and I look to her. It’s the kindest thing our mother has ever done in her life—for anyone. She made an effort. She’s trying. It’s more than we could have ever expected or asked for. So, I do the only thing that seems right after everything I’ve been through. I step forward and hug her. She trembles, and then bursts out crying when Kaity steps in and hugs her too.
“We still have a very long way to go before this can ever be okay again,” I say to her, when we step back. “But thank you so much for doing this.”
She nods, swiping her eyes. “I hope we can see each other again soon. I’ve missed you both.”
Kaity and I both nod, and Mom hands her the flowers.
“We’ll talk soon,” I promise her.
She nods, smiles, and looks around, and then she’s gone.
I turn to Kaity. “You okay?”
She nods, smiling. “Yeah, I think I’m going to be just fine.”
I grin. “Me too.”
She steps back, smiles at K
enai, and disappears into the crowd. Kenai takes my hand and leads me out the back door to the little courtyard we created for the staff to be able to take breaks. He turns to me and cups my face in his hands. “”You okay?”
I nod. “I never thought I’d see the day she’d do that, but the fact that she did means she deserves a second chance. Even if it’ll take a while for us to trust her again. That was on you.”
He gives me a confused look and I smile. “Kaity and I heard what you said to her in the hospital that day, Kenai. You defended us. You put her in her place. If you didn’t do that, she might have never changed. Thank you.”
He grins. “Eavesdropping is rude, baby.”
I giggle. “I never claimed to be polite.”
He smiles. “Words will never describe the pride and admiration I feel when I look at you. To come out the other side of an ordeal like that—twice—stronger and better. So many people can say they have that strength, but you do. You have it and you made the most out of it.”
“I couldn’t have done it without you,” I say, pressing my lips against his.
“You could have, because you, Marlie Jacobson, are the most incredible woman I’ve ever met in my entire life. You’re beautiful and brave, but mostly you’re strong and determined. I’m glad you came into my office that day.”
“Are you?” I grin, cupping his chin and stroking my thumb over his jaw.
“Well, you were a little bossy and a bit crazy—”
I smack his chest.
He chuckles and pulls me closer. “I love you, my little warrior.”
“And I love you, Chief.”
He grunts.
I smile.
Then we both turn and stare at the building in front of us.
“I did this,” I whisper.
“Yeah, baby, you did this.”
“He didn’t win.”
Kenai wraps an arm around me, squeezing me close. “Neither did she.”
“Turns out you can beat the monsters.”
“Always.”
Another tear rolls down my cheek as I stare up at a place I hope can create a comfort bubble for those in need. A place that will provide comfort when they’re alone, and safety when they’re scared. A place they can consider home.