Speak in Winter Code

by S. M. Harding

  “You have your CSIs close so they don’t have to travel to the scene?” I asked without turning to the front.

  “Yup,” Micah said. “Never know what disaster lurks where you gals are concerned. Good idea to have them close to get the investigation off an’ runnin’ real quick.”

  Sarah snickered. “Behave, Win.”

  We got home and they extricated me. Slowly. Having two tall guys and one short trying to pry me out was something like a rerun of the Three Stooges. Once I’d pushed myself out, it was crutches to the door and a lot of helping hands. I don’t think I’d ever felt so relieved when I was finally settled on the couch. Des was the only non-hoverer. She jumped up next to me and snuggled in. I interpreted her snort as, “Maybe now I can get some sleep. Everybody go away.”

  I heard Caleb at the door. “Sarah, stay home for a couple of days. Please. I’ll let you know every detail of the investigation and that’s a promise. Just get some rest and take care of Win.”

  I didn’t hear her response. Micah was the last to leave. He built a fire and put a casserole in the oven. “Think you can take it out okay, Sarah Anne?”

  I didn’t hear her response to that question either. Micah came over, leaned on the back of the couch. “You need anythin’, holler.” He patted my shoulder. “That was way too close. Let’s not let it happen again.”

  Finally, the place fell silent and Sarah settled on my other side. A fire burned brightly and my two favorite girls were next to me. If my head didn’t ache so much, it would’ve been heaven.

  “How are you feeling?” Sarah asked.

  “Tired. How’s your arm?”

  “Achy. Damn, what a pair we are.” She laid her head on my shoulder. “I can’t believe they got us, especially not with the snow coming down like it was.”

  “Hush. We’re not talking about it now. Let’s just be grateful for breath, for the winter outside and the warmth in here.”

  * * *

  I couldn’t keep Sarah from thinking about the ambush. She’d be quiet, watch the firelight then bring up a new theory about how they’d found us. Finally, I pushed myself up, grabbed my crutches and announced it was time for bed. Along with my pain meds.

  Walking with crutches was like cross-country skiing: once you mastered it, you never forgot how. The nurses had done a good job fitting them to my frame. I swung down the hall without a hitch. Getting us settled in bed was another matter. My left leg had to be elevated, so did Sarah’s left wrist. Des settled on her bed with a luxurious sigh.

  By the next morning, and before coffee, Sarah was on the phone to Caleb. I let Des out and thumped my way to the coffeemaker. Looked for somewhere to lean my crutches where they wouldn’t fall. Got everything ready, then realized I needed to get water. Shit. I one-crutched it to the sink and back. Cinch.

  While the coffee brewed, I tried to figure out how I was going to shower. A trash bag over the cast was one solution. Holding my leg outside the shower was another. Asking for Sarah’s help was the easiest. The most enticing, but she had a cast to keep dry too.

  Just like Sarah, I kept mulling it all over in my mind. With the snow falling so thickly, I hadn’t had a chance to spot the shooter before the shot. How the hell had he seen us so clearly? How had he known we were coming? Only a skeleton crew had been on duty at the station. Had someone there inadvertently told someone we were leaving? Shit. Here I was, doing what I’d told Sarah not to do. It was too soon. I needed distance. I’d slept soundly last night, thanks to the pain meds. But I knew I had to watch it. Closely. Or I’d slide into the demon cave again.

  “I was right, there were two shots,” Sarah said as she walked into the kitchen. “Same ballistics as the other shootings. What I can’t figure out is—”

  “Can you help me shower?” I asked.

  She stopped pouring. “Yeah, sure.”

  “I don’t want to talk about the ambush now. Can you understand?”

  “So no updates—for how long?”

  “Until I ask you for an update. Okay?”

  She set the mug down, put her arms around me. “Whatever you say. But you know I can’t let this go. Is that okay?”

  “As long as you don’t go back to work tomorrow. We both need time to heal physically. You push too hard and you’ll do permanent damage. It’s really hard to keep you reined in.”

  “Do we have to stay reined in when you shower?”

  “No.” I kissed her. “Just careful. Soap plus water equals slippery. Neither of us can afford to fall right now.”

  “Does that mean we have to stop showering together when we’re sixty-five?”

  “Ask me when I’m sixty-five.” I pulled Sarah close. I hoped she wasn’t thinking what was running through my mind. If we make it to sixty-five.

  Chapter Forty-Five

  Sarah

  “I think we’d better move this to the bed,” I said. Water beat down on us and formed rivulets on Win’s beautiful body. “We’re both going to end up on our asses.”

  Win sighed, then licked a drop from my breast. “Okay. Wipe the floor and then hand me my crutches.”

  I toweled down the floor and then I toweled down Win, with different towels of course. She was pretty much at my mercy, but I didn’t press forward. I needed to remember what Win had said, not to push too hard. Not physically, not job-wise. I knew it should be my mantra, but right now all I wanted was to feel Win’s body as close to mine as possible. Getting both of us settled so we wouldn’t injure an already injured limb wasn’t easy, but not impossible.

  “So, pain meds before or after?”

  Win smiled, snaked her hand behind my neck. “You’re the only high I need, Sarah. Ever.”

  We spent the rest of the day in bed, mostly sleeping, but with interesting intervals. When night fell, I slipped out of bed and threw on my sweats. Des whined her “I really need to go out” whine, so I let her out. We’d planned to go grocery shopping today, so dinner fixings were minimal. We’d demolished Dad’s offering. I closed the fridge and leaned against the counter.

  “Go ahead and call for pizza,” Win said, poking her head around the corner. “We just can’t have beer with it.”

  “Why not? We’re not driving, or are you afraid I’ll fall out of bed?”

  “Call. I’m starving.” Win thumped to the fireplace and started twisting up paper for the first layer.

  I found my phone and realized I’d left it off all day. There were about ten messages from Caleb. I went ahead and ordered the pizza, stuck the phone in my pocket and walked down the hall to the bathroom. I went down the list of text messages. Interesting. Kay had come through with the plat map for the old Messinger farm. At six-hundred acres, it was a mix of woods and fallow fields. It had been purchased by the Cobra Investment Corporation. Caleb had sent the purchase information to Nathan. Good.

  He’d walked the paperwork for the electronic listening device over to the courthouse and presented it to the judge himself. Judge Hoffman was thinking about it. Thinking about what? Springtime? Going fishing? Caleb should’ve taken it to Judge Bergman. Well, it was in the works.

  I sank down on the couch next to Win and leaned against her. She felt tense, muscles tight. From pain? I snuggled into her until she put an arm around me.

  “I need to bring in more wood,” I said, appreciating the warmth from the fireplace. “We’re going to have to switch chores around.”

  Win didn’t say anything.

  “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Are you feeling pain?”

  “Some.”

  “Why don’t you take a pain pill?” I thought back over the day. I couldn’t remember Win taking any pain meds.

  “I don’t want to get hooked.”

  “You’re in pain! Hell, how are you going to heal when all your muscles are so tight and all you can think about is hurting?”

  She turned away, directed her gaze outside. “I’ve had pain meds sneak up on me before. That’s not going to happen
again, Sarah.”

  Win was using her stubborn voice. “Okay, I understand. But can’t there be another path? I’ll monitor you and you do the same for me.”

  She didn’t answer and kept looking outside.

  “How can we make love when I know every time I touch you, I could hurt you? I can’t do that. We’ll have to abstain until the doctors say it’s okay.”

  “Is this extortion?”

  I didn’t answer.

  “Maybe one after we eat. Okay?”

  I started to kiss her, then drew back. “Maybe.”

  * * *

  The next morning at breakfast, both our phones rang. Win sighed. “Emily,” she said.

  Mine said Nathan. I walked into the living room. “What’s up?”

  “Got some interesting stuff to share. Can I come over?”

  “Sure. Give us time to finish breakfast and get dressed?”

  “Be there at ten.”

  As I returned to the kitchen, I heard Win say, “About two? See you then.”

  “Em’s coming over?”

  Win nodded as she poured coffee.

  “So is Nathan.”

  Win looked alarmed, forehead all scrunched up.

  “I’ll work with him, you can take a nap.” I held out my mug for a refill.

  “No. You need to keep up with the investigation. That’s your job. I’ll take a pain pill and go to bed. That is, if you okay the pill. We can talk the issue over with Emily.”

  When Nathan arrived, Win was already in bed. He looked around, raised his eyebrows.

  “Win’s in bed trying to recuperate. What’ve you got?”

  “I sent all the details to Win’s computer—can I power it up? I know her password.”

  He sat in Win’s chair, then accessed a file. “The company that bought the Messinger farm is Cobra Investment Corporation. They’re incorporated in Alexandria, Virginia. Their board of directors and major officers are interesting. Look at this.”

  A graphic showed the officers who served in similar capacities for several other corporations as well. Rattler, a security agency; Viper, telecommunications; Diamondback, an electric grid management company, and Anaconda, a media conglomerate.

  “Weird, but I don’t get it, Nathan.”

  He sat back. “If you were going to forment revolution, what would you need to disrupt government?” He held one finger up. “A paramilitary entity like Blackwater or whatever they’re calling it now. And one that owns a training camp like the one in Idaho.”

  “The same camp that we traced our locals to?”

  “Exactly. Plus, all of these corporations have either their corporate offices or major regional offices in the same areas as each other—Virginia, Idaho, California and New York. Plus, the instructions for the flash mob at the LGBT center came from Rattler. I don’t think I would’ve found that connection if I didn’t have an end point to check.”

  “The snake names are chilling, not separately but put together.”

  “Yeah, especially when you consider the logo for 1776 Corps is a copperhead. The Copperheads were a Civil War group of northerners who tried to undermine Lincoln and the Union effort. And, though I can’t prove it yet, it looks very likely that one of these entities is the one who paid Shamsi for the drones and missiles.”

  I shivered. “Have you sent this to Bill?”

  “Yeah and he said it filled in a lot of blanks. They’re monitoring.”

  “Good—I really don’t want to take on a national conspiracy. But what the hell do we have to do with all of this? Insurrection in McCrumb County?”

  “Bill thinks this could be a test of their black ops capability.”

  I saw red. Two dead, a bunch of injured for a damn test for a fucking fascist revolution? “This is real?”

  “This is real.”

  Chapter Forty-Six

  Win

  Sarah’s voice lifted me from sleep. She sounded impatient, her voice loud and insistent.

  “What?” I croaked. The green numerals of our bedside clock said 12:32.

  “I thought you’d like to get up, clean up and eat before Em comes. Maybe present a human face to her.”

  “You’re crabby, aren’t you? What’d Nathan say?”

  “You don’t want to know—remember? Are you getting up or should I try this again at one thirty?”

  Cranky, all right. “I’m up.”

  When I finally made it into the kitchen, she’d made a salad with all the detritus the fridge held. Delightful. “We need to go grocery shopping.”

  “I called Dad with a list. Are you going to Bloomington tomorrow?”

  I shook my head. “I called yesterday. There’s no way I can get around campus on crutches with all the snow. Not to mention the stairs to the apartment, or the fact that I can’t drive my truck.”

  “Good.”

  I blinked back tears. I’d never seen Sarah in such a snit. I needed her with me, holding me. Not a small Vesuvius ready to erupt at any moment.

  By two o’clock, I’d built a fire and settled at one end of the couch, my bad leg resting on a pillow on the coffee table. Sarah was in our bedroom talking on the telephone. Emily’s arrival got her off the phone, but her head was still attending to sheriff’s business. When she sat next to me, I asked her for some time alone with Emily. Her eyebrows shot up, her mouth tightened. She went back to the bedroom, slammed the door.

  “What’s going on?” Emily asked.

  “I don’t know. Nathan came over this morning. Whatever he found out upset Sarah. A lot.”

  “You don’t know what it is?”

  I shook my head. “I needed to back away from the investigation. I asked her to not talk about…sheriff stuff. For now.”

  “You feel that precarious, Win?”

  The tears flooded down my face. “I failed her. I didn’t protect her.”

  “Just like Azar?”

  I hadn’t even thought of that. I told Emily so. “I think it’s brought up the IED attack in Iraq. The way the car lifted up, like the Humvee. Maybe a leg injury from both.”

  The fire popped and I flinched. Good going, Win. Emily was examining me with the half-staff stare. I felt like I was back at the beginning of therapy.

  “What feelings does that attack bring up for you?”

  I knew what she was asking. I couldn’t say it. Not yet. “Luck. Being at the wrong place at the wrong time. There’s nothing you can do about an undetected IED.”

  “Nothing?”

  “Nothing. You either make it out or not.”

  “So you’re at the mercy of chance?”

  I nodded. I wiped my sleeve across my face. “You do your best. Sometimes that’s not enough. People die.”

  “Why don’t you just spit it out?” Emily asked, her voice soft.

  The tears began again. “I feel so fucking vulnerable. Not only can’t I protect Sarah, I can’t even protect myself. All my fucking training. All those years in war zones. I can’t stop one guy with a fucking rifle.”

  Emily sat down beside me and put an arm around me. Let me cry it out.

  “Shit,” I finally said.

  Emily handed me a couple of tissues and squeezed my shoulder. “I think it’s time to hear from Sarah. Can you do that?”

  I nodded and blew my nose. Emily got up. I heard her knock on the bedroom door. Voices. When I opened my eyes, Sarah was sitting down. At the other end of the couch.

  “What are you feeling about the ambush, Sarah?” Emily asked.

  Sarah’s mouth was still a tight line. “Anger. No, rage.”

  “Interesting,” Emily said without inflection. “Why the anger?”

  “It shouldn’t have happened.” Sarah looked out the window. “I was tired. I wanted to get home so I didn’t wait for our escort.”

  “It was your fault?” Emily asked.

  Sarah nodded. “Win wanted to wait and she warned me. I did what I always do—figured I could just do it and plowed ahead.”

  “That’s n
ot true,” I said. “We both wanted to get home. It should’ve been safe, even without an escort. An escort couldn’t have stopped the shot.”

  Sarah turned to me. “I thought you were dead. You were unconscious and bleeding. I could see the shattered window. I thought the second shot hit you.”

  Her tears began to roll down her cheeks. I reached my hand toward her. She scooted over, put an arm around me.

  “I understand why Win doesn’t want to talk about this case, but I need her to help me,” Sarah said as she pulled me closer. “I’m feeling so overwhelmed.”

  “You’re quite a pair,” Emily said. “Wonder Woman and Xena.”

  “Which one am I?” I asked.

  Emily just stared.

  “I’m sorry,” Sarah said. “I should’ve asked if you could listen to what Nathan told me. I was just pissed because I felt like when I needed you, you were back in Afghanistan.”

  “Iraq,” I said. “I’m sorry too. But I needed time to sort, to understand the trigger, the feelings underneath.” I took her hand. “And to come totally clean, I resented your job. We should’ve been concentrating on healing. Instead, I felt like you were riding off with your posse.”

  Sarah stiffened. “I don’t know any other way to cope—honestly, I wish I did.”

  “Ah, I love the human side of Wonder Woman and Xena,” Emily said. “You both have to talk about this stuff or you won’t stay together. Period. Sarah, I know how much being sheriff means to you, but you’ve got to find a way not to bring home all the pressure. Put aside time for family that’s inviolate and do it now before the kids arrive. Ask your dad how he managed it.”

  Sarah looked miserable. “I had a few years under my belt as sheriff before Win shook my foundation. I didn’t have any reason not to be fully engaged. In fact, I had every reason to clean up the mess Mac left. I’m still trying to find my way and, evidently, doing a lousy job of it.”

  “You’ll learn as long as you make it a priority,” Emily said. “You don’t need to go into investigative details, but tell Win what worries you. Or that you’re worried. Ask for her help, but if she says she can’t, accept it. Take the opportunity to rest in Win. Because she’s feeling vulnerable right now doesn’t mean she’s weak. She’s the strongest woman I know. You know in your heart she’ll never abandon you.”