The Middle of Nowhere

by Piper Phoenix

  Rex reached for my keys but I swatted him away. “I can do it,” I said taking a deep breath.

  “I don’t understand. What did I do wrong? Heather, please just talk to me,” he pleaded.

  “I shouldn’t have ever went into town,” I yelled at him, sounding as if I was angry at him, but really I was angry at myself. I’m the one that let all this happen. Rex was innocent.

  “I’m sorry! Can we just talk about this?”

  After I finally got the door open, I stepped inside and started to close it. He put his hand out to hold the door.

  “Heather, please!”

  “Good night, Rex,” I practically spit. I wanted his hand off my door and the door shut so I could put the block up between me and the outside world.

  “Heather, would you please just—”

  “No. Please leave. I don’t want to talk about it. I just want to forget about it all,” I said. My heart fluttered for a split second when I saw the hurt flash across his face. He dropped his hand and I shut the door. I flipped all the locks into place and allowed myself to breathe again.

  I knew I probably seemed crazy to him. And it wasn’t like the mugger would be out here at the cabin waiting to pounce again. I just didn’t want to tell him about my parents. I didn’t want him to know how damaged I was. That I haven’t properly grieved and that I just wanted to hide from the world.

  He didn’t know it but I was helping him. Once he knew everything, he wouldn’t want to be with me and all my baggage. He most definitely wouldn’t want to be with someone who was completely and totally afraid of the outside world. Tonight only just emphasized how I had already felt. It was like it was a warning. Stay in your little cabin Heather Perry or we’ll get you.

  I heard his truck start up and the gravel crunching as he drove away. I crumpled to the ground and cried into my hands. I told myself it was for the best. He wouldn’t want to be with me, I was doing the right thing. He was attractive and apparently rich beyond what I could even imagine, he’d find someone else. Someone normal.

  I did the right thing.

  14

  Somehow I made my way to bed. I barely glanced at myself in the mirror. My cheeks were red, my eyes were even redder and my lips puffy. I looked awful. I didn’t even want to see myself.

  I put on a plain pair of cotton pajamas and practically fell down on the bed. My body was still trembling. I covered myself from head to toe before I convinced myself to get up and check the locks again. Both on the door and on the windows.

  When I peeked out the window into the darkness part of me hoped that I’d see Rex’s truck out there, waiting for me to talk. But of course it wasn’t there. And it wasn’t going to be there ever again.

  I jumped when my phone rang. But I figured it was Rex so I let it ring for what felt like five minutes before it went to voicemail. Once it stopped ringing I thought my body would relax, but it hadn’t.

  The second I got back into bed the phone rang again. It wasn’t really like Rex to be obsessively calling was it? He was probably sleeping by now, but I let it go again, in case I was wrong about him. He really had seemed like he wanted to talk. To try to understand.

  About ten minutes later when it rang again I decided I’d answer. I’d just look at the caller ID and if it was Rex I’d send it to voicemail and turn my phone off. I could tell him it was over in the morning. By then I could think of a way to explain it without having to get into all the details.

  But the phone didn’t say who was calling. It displayed a phone number only. And it wasn’t Rex’s number.

  “Hello?” I said softly, as I pressed the phone to my ear.

  “Heather?” the voice on the other end sounded panicked. I couldn’t place the voice although it sounded familiar.

  “Yeah, this is….”

  “Hey, it’s Uncle Matt… something happened… it’s Audrey,” he said as his voice cracked.

  “Oh my God! Is she OK?” I said stiffening my spine. She was all I had left as far as a blood relative. We’d always been close even before my parents had been killed.

  “I don’t know,” he sniffed, “all they are telling me is she was in an accident and is in surgery. Oh Heather, they say they are doing everything, but I’m going to lose it here,” he said and I could hear he was teetering on the edge of being able to hold it together. I wasn’t exactly sure why he had called me. His parents were still alive, he had brothers, but maybe he knew it’s what Aunt Audrey would have wanted.

  “Should I come? I’m coming. Where are you?” I said grabbing a pen and a piece of paper.

  “Memorial.” He sniffed again, “It’s late, maybe you shouldn’t come. I can call you if I hear anything.”

  I didn’t know what to do, I was torn. I wanted to go and be there for both of them, but it was late, dark and… “I’m coming, Uncle Matt.”

  “Heather wait,” he said and I paused. I could hear him talking to a Doctor but I couldn’t make out what they were saying. “Oh thank you thank you thank you,” he said over and over again his words blending together.

  “Uncle Matt are you there?” But they were still talking. I started to pace as I waited, thankfully he hadn’t hung up the phone.

  “She’s waking up from surgery. She’s going to be OK.”

  “What happened?”

  “She’d gotten into a car accident after work. She has a broken arm and something with her knee, but she’s going to be just fine.”

  “What was the surgery for?” I asked shaking my head.

  “Some kind of hemorrhage, but the Surgeon, assured me she’ll be fine.”

  Both of us were silent for a while, I was trying to think what I should do. “Is she awake?” I asked.

  “I don’t know, they said I can go in to see her now,” he said and I could tell he had already mentally hung up the phone.

  “I’ll leave early in the morning to see her. I should get there sometime in the afternoon… as soon as I possibly can get there. See you tomorrow, Matt. Take care of her,” I said and he hung up the phone. I wished I could travel through the phone wires and just be there by her side.

  If I would have asked Rex, he probably would fly me there in a heartbeat. But that was before I had screwed things up. Now he’d probably just laugh at me.

  My heart was racing. I knew I wasn’t going to be falling asleep any time soon. I grabbed my blanket off my bed and brought it to the sofa. I flicked on the TV and zoned out to random infomercials. Eventually sleep came.

  . . .

  I quickly packed my bag with several changes of clothing and anything I’d need assuming I’d be staying in town for a while. My stomach turned at the idea of going into town again. But I’d be alright during the day, at least that’s what I told myself.

  My Aunt and Uncle needed me. I couldn’t stay in hibernation after what had happened. I packed up my car, locked my door and started the drive to Memorial.

  . . .

  When I arrived at the hospital I had to stop and ask at the nurse’s station where I could find her. In fact, I had to ask several times because either I was horrible at following their directions or they were awful at giving them. But eventually when I found her room number, I saw Aunt Audrey lying in bed hooked up to all sorts of machines.

  She had dark purple bruises everywhere and a cast on her arm. She was sleeping so I sat down in the chair, folded my hands in my lap and waited for her to wake up. I wanted to cry but I couldn’t let that happen. Not now. Besides they said she was going to be OK.

  “What are you doing here?” Aunt Audrey said grumpily. I bit my lip when it quivered at the sound of her voice. “Oh don’t do that. I’m fine. Look at me! Doc said so,” she said forcing a weak, painful smile.

  “What happened do you remember?” I asked grabbing her hand.

  “Stupid delivery truck drove right into the side of my car. Ran a red. Nothing I could do,” she said taking deep breaths as if talking hurt.

  It struck me how casual she sounded about it a
ll. I’d been mugged, completely uninjured physically and I handled it far worse than Aunt Audrey was handling getting beat up by a delivery truck.

  “I’m just glad you are OK,” I said bending down to hug her around all her tubes.

  “You and me both,” she said her eyelids starting to get droopy. “Meds,” she muttered as if trying to explain why she was randomly starting to fall asleep. “Go to the house, water my plants, feed the pets, I’m sure Matt hasn’t eaten because I’m fairly certain he doesn’t know how to even make a sandwich.”

  “I will,” I said squeezing her hand. “Don’t worry about a thing,” I added but she was already asleep, breathing noisily through her mouth.

  On the drive to Aunt Audrey’s I avoided going by Gates Corp and the alley I got mugged. And anywhere that would remind me of him. I had been such an ass to him. Even if ending it now was the best thing to do, I should have just explained.

  I had been so overwhelmed and in a state of panic or shock or something. It had been impossible to think straight. Now it didn’t matter. I had to just stop thinking about him. My family needed me now anyway.

  Back at the house I knocked a few times before I opened the door. Aunt Audrey didn’t have the same feelings about locks that I had. “Uncle Matt? Are you here?” I called out before stepping inside.

  “Come on in,” he said from the living room as if I had woken him.

  “Oh I’m sorry,” I said gesturing for him to lay back down. “I’m just going to take care a few things Aunt Audrey asked me to do.”

  “Oh,” he coughed, “hmm OK then.” And with that he started snoring. There was no way he’d even remember I was here when he woke up. I’d have to be careful not to startle him.

  I went into the kitchen and started tidying up. I put out fresh food and water for the cat and dog and even sprinkled some fish food into the tank. The cat, dog and fish dashed for the food. Clearly they hadn’t been fed.

  A pile of dishes was in the sink but they looked like they had been there awhile. Probably before Aunt Audrey’s accident. After I watered the plants, I started on the dishes. Since I didn’t know when Aunt Audrey would be released, I decided after I finished with the dishes I’d bring my bags up to the guest room. In fact, I made a mental note to do that before it was dark out. It had taken my so long to drive here from the cabin that it would be night before I knew it.

  After I’d finished with everything I sat on the guest room bed. I asked Uncle Matt before he headed back to the hospital if it would be OK for me to stay and he had seemed overly excited at the idea. Then I made him a sandwich and he left.

  I called the hospital and talked to Aunt Audrey briefly but she was still pretty out of it. I knew Uncle Matt would just be sitting there watching TV, holding Aunt Audrey’s hand. The thought made me smile. I loved how much he loved here and needed her.

  Uncle Matt had locked all the doors before he left, he made an effort to check and let me know. Aunt Audrey must have told him about my anxiety. Even knowing that he had locked the doors I still locked the bedroom door.

  I flicked on the little TV and surfed through the channels. There was a news story on about the owner of Gates Corp. They flashed a picture of Rex and my heart started to pound. They were talking about how he had stopped and caught a mugger. The news lady joked “And he’s rich and single too!”

  I rolled my eyes at her. What did she know. Well I guess technically he was both of those things. But still, it was as if she was just trying to rub it in.

  I changed the channel.

  15

  Before I went to bed I looked at my phone to see I had a missed call. Rex’s name stared me in the face. I was a little disappointed he hadn’t left me a message.

  I had to remind myself that I was doing the right thing. Ending it now before things got worse. He’d probably have a new girl on his arm in a week. Maybe he already did. After all, he’d been on the news and everyone knew what a big hero he was. Not to mention, all the people who already wanted to be with him.

  Over the next few days I took care of things around the houses, making sure to spend time sitting with Aunt Audrey. Every day she got better and by the third day in the hospital she was practically begging to go home. The agreed and released her the next day.

  I rode along with Uncle Matt go bring her home. She had crutches but she got around pretty well. Even though she still spent most of her time laying down or sitting and watching TV. She’d get up to make meals but I made her sit back down.

  Several nights after she’d gotten back home Uncle Matt was out doing some grocery shopping, while I sat with Aunt Audrey watching TV. She was sitting in a chair with an afghan draped over her legs.

  They were running some news piece on Gates Corp and they flashed a picture of both Rex and Tavia. I looked down at my feet but glanced upward just to see his picture. I thought I had forgotten what he even looked like but I hadn’t. He was still as gorgeous as ever.

  My teeth were clenched so hard as they talked about him and his business, my cheeks started to hurt.

  “Wah-hoo, that’s an attractive man,” Aunt Audrey said shaking her fingers. “Look at him honey… don’t you think so?”

  “Yeah, I guess so,” I said trying to keep myself calm.

  “His sister too, what a good looking family,” Aunt Audrey added.

  “Yes, she’s gorgeous.” But she was a real you-know-what, or so it had seemed. But Aunt Audrey didn’t need to know that.

  “You know,” Aunt Audrey started, “a couple days ago he saved some woman from a mugger. It was all over the news. Gosh, what a catch. Money, looks and a secret superhero!” She smiled and laughed at herself.

  I just looked at her biting my tongue. Maybe I should tell her. If anyone would understand it would be Aunt Audrey. She could help reinforce that I’d done the right thing. If I had her reminding me of that maybe it would help me to stop thinking about him.

  “If I wasn’t married,” Aunt Audrey teased. I smiled, but it turned into a frown. “What’s wrong honey?”

  “It was me… I was the woman he saved,” I blurted out wondering suddenly if it really had been me. It all had seemed like a dream.

  “Sorry?” she said seeming to not understand.

  “The women Rex saved… it was me. I was with him. I met him back at my cabin. I didn’t know who he was at the time but we sort of started to hang out—”

  “You’re kidding me!” she said slapping her knee.

  “I wish I was.”

  “Why on earth would you wish that! Look at him,” she said but his picture was long gone from the TV screen. They were talking about the weather.

  I broke down and told Aunt Audrey everything. From the minute I met him right up until I slammed the door in his face. When I was finished with my story, I almost felt like puking. I was so messed up.

  “But honey, look at you. You’re doing just fine. You are here now. Driving to the hospital, running errands to me, you are doing just fine!” she said trying to make me feel better. “You can’t spend your life running from yourself.

  I shoot my head. I didn’t even know what I was running from but it wasn’t myself. “I’m not running from myself.”

  “Oh yes you are and I don’t understand it. You are much stronger than you even realize.”

  “Coming here is different. You are the only family I have left. I wanted to be here,” I protested as I crossed my arms.

  Aunt Audrey winced as she moved herself forward on the chair to take my hand. “Heather,” she said, her face serious, “you can’t let the bad things that happen in the world, stop you from enjoying the good things.”

  “But—”

  “No, there are no buts, the good will far out-weigh the bad. Bad stuff happens, that’s life. It sucks but that’s what it is. If you don’t allow the good into your life of course it will only be filled with the bad.”

  I opened my mouth to explain, but I couldn’t think of anything to say. Maybe Aunt Audrey was right. S
he had lost her sister and brother-in-law when my parents were killed, but yet here she was living life. Even after getting into an accident that could have taken her life, she was sitting here trying to help me.

  “Let’s not forget the fact that he saved you. If you are going to run around being afraid of life, who better to be with than someone who can and will do their best to keep you safe?” Aunt Audrey said sitting back in the chair as if she had just won. She looked pleased with herself. “Go back to your cabin tomorrow, think about what I said. Think about making things right.”

  “I’ll stay you guys need me,” I said waving my hands in protest. The longer I stayed here the longer I could hide from dealing with anything.

  “I’m on the mend. Matt and I can manage. Go home and get that boy back,” she said crossing her arms as if that was the end of the discussion.

  I hugged my knees to my chest and rocked in the chair. When my thoughts drifted to Rex, I didn’t chase them away.

  . . .

  The next morning, I started the drive back to my cabin. I turned passed Gates Corp and wondered if Rex was sitting in his office at the very top. Then I drove passed the alley where the mugger grabbed me. It was lit up during the day and didn’t look at all frightening. I hadn’t realized I stopped the car to look down the alleyway until I heard the car behind me lay on their horn.

  “Sorry!” I said with a wave and drove down the road passed the bank. The bank where my parents had been killed. Something happened. I pulled the car over and started walking across the street. It was as if something, or someone else was driving my body.

  I pulled open the heavy door and stood in the lobby. Everyone was going about their business as if nothing had even happened in there. So much time had passed since the robbery that turned deadly, that everything returned to business as usual. I couldn’t figure out how that made me feel until I saw the tribute on the wall to the four people that had died during the incident.