by Mia Carson
The woman crumbled, doubling over and resting her head on James’ chest as she cried.
“I am sorry,” Stan told James again. “You’ve paid enough by losing your brother, so if there’s anything you need, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me.”
James’ eyes widened in surprise. “Why would you offer to help me?”
“Because it’s the right thing to do,” Stan told him. He smiled as a weight lifted from his shoulders. He bowed his head and backed towards the door when the woman reached out and took his hand in hers. Pain was etched in every line of her face and she opened her mouth to speak, but words failed her. She walked around the bed instead and hugged Stan. He returned the gesture and left James’ family to be together.
When he returned home, all he wanted to do was find Louis and hug his son close. Later, he would find Remy and kiss her until neither of them could breathe. Today was a great day, and if all went according to plan, this was the beginning of the new life Stan saw laid out before him.
“What if they don’t like me?” Louis asked again as they walked up the steps towards the Wellington’s front door. He tugged at his tiny tie and cringed.
“They’ll love you,” he assured his son, ruffling his hair.
“And if they don’t?”
“They will. Who could not love you? But,” he said, bending lower, “if you get too uncomfortable and want to leave, you just say the word and we’ll go.”
Louis nodded earnestly, his hand slipping into his pocket. The picture of Lara was tucked safely away there so she could be with them on this day, too. Louis had cried a little that morning as Stan helped him get dressed in his best clothes. This was his first major holiday without Lara, and it struck him hard. Stan needed this day to go well for Louis’ sake—and for Remy’s, who stood behind the boy. Everyone would fall in love with them both, Stan was sure of it, but the nagging he woke with in his gut that morning grew into a pain, refusing to leave him alone.
“Everyone ready?” he asked, his hand poised to knock.
“Ready,” Louis said, and Remy nodded.
Stan frowned and let his hand fall. The door flew open a second later, and Erin Wellington beamed at her son as she dragged him nearly off his feet and into her arms. “Stanford! I’m so happy to see you out of that damn chair! You look wonderful!”
“Thanks, Mom,” he replied, struggling to breathe. “Mom? You’re crushing me here.”
“Sorry, sorry,” she said and set him back on his feet. She kissed his cheek loudly, and Louis laughed at the lipstick all over his face. “Well now, who do we have here?”
Stan grinned encouragingly to Louis as he stepped closer. “I’m Louis, ma’am.”
“Ma’am,” Erin repeated. She held out her hand for his. “Young man, you can call me Erin or Grandma, whatever makes you happy. Would you like to meet the rest of the family?” Louis nodded eagerly, his hand still tucked in Erin’s as they moved deeper into the house. “Oh, and nice to see you again, dear!” Erin called over her shoulder to Remy.
Stan turned to stare accusingly at Remy. She gripped the pie in her hands and grinned so wide her eyes shut. “See you again?” he asked.
“So where should I put this? The kitchen? Great,” she said and hurried past him.
“Remy!” He chased after her. “When the hell did you meet my mother?”
“Oh, now dear, don’t let it bother you,” Erin said, waving away his worries when they reached the kitchen where the rest of the family was gathered until dinnertime. “How else do you think she managed to get Bert to your house?”
He hugged his sisters in turn, glaring at Remy and his mom over their heads. “You know, I think I’m going to hang out with my sisters all night. They won’t drive me crazy.”
“I…uh, met them already too,” Remy muttered then coughed loudly into her hand.
“Sorry, brother,” Sarah, the youngest said, nudging him in the side.
“Yeah, we had a great afternoon the other day,” Susan added.
Sally was the only one who didn’t speak, her eyes locked on Louis. Stan worried that she would be a problem tonight. He grabbed her elbow gently and asked if he could speak with her in private. Louis sat at the breakfast bar, talking to Sampson, his dad.
“What’s up?” Sally asked, averting her gaze.
“Is this going to be a problem?”
“Problem?”
“Come on, Sal, I know you and Nick have been trying for a while now, and I show up with a ten-year-old son? If you’re mad, promise you’ll be mad at me and not take it out on him.”
Sally hung her head before she hugged him. “I would never be mad at either of you. I feel bad for that kid, losing his mom, and now he’s stuck with a rotten bastard like you,” she teased.
“Thanks, really.”
“You’re welcome. How’s it going? He looks happy.”
“He is. We both are. Hasn’t called me Dad yet, but we’ll get there eventually. I wake up some days thinking it was all a dream, both of them.”
“Both?” Sally asked, then smiled. “Ah, I see. Remy.”
“She’s something special,” he told her. “I’m not sure I could’ve done this without her.”
Sally’s eyes narrowed, then widened. “Holy shit, you’re in love with her.”
Stan froze as his heart pounded in his chest and his palms grew sweaty. He stared at Remy standing in the kitchen chatting with his mom, laughing with his sisters as if she was already part of the family. Sally was right, he loved that damn woman. So why wouldn’t the words come out when he needed them to?
“Please tell me you’ve told her.”
“It’s complicated,” he muttered. “I’ve got Louis to worry about.”
“But you do love her, and I have a feeling she loves you. Why haven’t you talked to the kid yet?”
“Because I’m a coward,” he admitted. “I don’t know what to say to either of them. I’m asking my nanny to be my girlfriend and move in with me as my girlfriend, which means I’m technically firing her and leaving her without a job,” he rambled. “And Louis likes her now, but if she becomes my girlfriend, I’m not sure what he’ll do about that. What if Remy and I don’t work out?”
Sally pursed her lips. “I see your point. Well, you’re going to have to say something to them both, and sooner rather than later.”
“I planned on it after the holiday before Louis goes back to school.”
“Promise me you’ll tell Remy you love her before too long? She shouldn’t have to wait to hear it.”
The floorboards creaked, and Stan glanced over at Louis, standing a few feet away. “Hey, kiddo, you all right?” he asked quickly, worried he’d overheard Sally’s words.
He nodded slowly. “Where’s the bathroom?”
“I’ll show you,” Sally said brightly. “And I can show you Stan’s old room. Would you like that? There’s a ton of model ships in there.”
“Cool.” Louis took Sally’s hand, and they walked away.
Stan stayed in the dining room until Sampson walked in carrying a stack of plates and silverware. “Here, you can get stuck with table duty with me,” he grunted.
“Could be worse,” Stan said, setting out the plates.
“Yes, yes, it could. Your mother could have tried to cook the turkey again this year.”
“I heard that, you balding moron!” Erin yelled into the dining room.
They bantered back and forth as the food was pulled out of the oven and carried into the dining room by his other two sisters, Remy, and his brothers-in-law. Sally and Louis returned in time for Sampson to cut the turkey, the golden skin glistening with juices and smelling delicious, as always, when Sampson cooked. They passed around plates and chatted through the dinner, swapping stories and each sibling telling Louis all about his dad growing up. Louis was in stitches by the time the dinner dishes were cleared away. Remy offered to start cutting up the pies in the kitchen. Stan followed her, ignoring the curious look Erin shot the
m both.
“I hope my family hasn’t been too much for you,” he said, leaning against the counter a few inches away from Remy. His arm ached to wrap around her waist and pull in her for a kiss, but she resisted at the last second.
“They’re louder than I’m used to, but they’re all very nice,” she replied, not looking up from the pie.
“You know, if you’re tired, we can leave.”
“Louis is having a good time. We can stay. I’m fine.”
“Remy,” he whispered, and his hand rested over hers on the counter. “Look at me and say that.”
Her breath was shaky as she closed her eyes then opened them, staring deep into his eyes. “I’m fine,” she repeated, but no smile lifted her lips and his hand slipped away from hers. She finished cutting the pie and carried it into the dining room.
He was losing her, and he was too much of a fool to tell her exactly what she needed to hear. Fear of hurting his and Louis’ relationship stopped him.
Just a little longer, please, he begged her silently. Please don’t leave me yet.
15
Tears burned in her eyes. Remy wiped them away as the car pulled up outside the house. She needed to get her butt upstairs before Stan could corner her and ask her anything else. Making it through dinner had been hard enough—and lying to his mom every time she asked if Remy would stick around for a while longer. His family was great, so nice and caring, but she wouldn’t ruin anyone’s holiday by saying exactly what was on her mind.
She let Louis into the house, who was still talking excitedly about the night and how awesome Stan’s family was, the man himself bringing up the rear.
“All right, kiddo, time for bed,” Stan informed him.
“What? Aw, come on,” he argued as he yawned.
“It’s midnight. Time for bed. See you in the morning.” Louis hugged Stan around the middle and rushed to do the same for Remy, and she nearly lost it. He darted upstairs and out of sight.
“I think I’m off to bed, too,” she said and turned to go.
“Wait, we need to talk,” he said and caught her hand. “Remy, we made a deal, remember? You would be honest with me and I would go through therapy. Only one of us has kept up our end of the deal.”
She bit her tongue hard against the tears, but they slipped down her cheeks. “Please, not now.”
“Yes, now,” he insisted. “Tell me, for the love of God, what’s going on?”
You have to be strong, she told herself sternly. You have to be strong for both their sakes. No backing down. Just do it and get out of their lives before you screw anything up.
Squaring her shoulders and sniffing hard, she turned and looked him right in the eye. “I’m leaving, Stan.”
His face collapsed in a pale sheet of confusion, her hand slipping from his. “I don’t understand.”
“I think you do, more than you want to. Whatever this is… it’s risky. You and Louis have come far, but you still have so much further to go,” she said, her voice shaking. “I can’t be around to screw that up. I won’t be. It’s time for me to go.”
She held her breath as he opened his mouth. Please don’t say it, please don’t. You’ll only make this harder. I can’t stay… I can’t!
“Of course, if that’s what you want,” he whispered, his voice rough, brow wrinkled as if that was not what he wanted to say at all.
“It’s what’s best for you and Louis,” she insisted, telling herself repeatedly this was the right thing to do. “I let myself get too wrapped in your lives. This isn’t my place. You two need to figure out life on your own, so I’m leaving.” She picked up her purse off the entryway table. “I’ll send a truck for the rest of my things after the holidays if that’s all right.”
“You’re leaving right now? It’s midnight,” he argued.
“I think it’s best.” She glanced up the stairs. “Tell Louis I said goodbye. I’ll send him some fresh art supplies before too long.”
“Remy,” he whispered, licking his lips nervously. He reached out a hand for her, but it fell short and his shoulders sagged. “Enjoy your holiday with your family,” he finished lamely.
Her heart heaved in her chest, wanting to fall apart, but this was what was best for everyone. Well, at least for the man she loved and his son. That was more important. She stepped out into the cold of the night and called Callie as she walked to the end of the drive to stop the urge to run back inside and into his arms. By the time her friend pulled up to the drive, she was bawling her eyes out and babbling about what an idiot she was.
“Right, you need a drink,” Callie insisted. “Come with me, girlie. Let’s go wallow together.”
“Together? You and Matt?” she asked, wiping her eyes.
“Yeah. Turns out you were right, but you can say ‘I told you so’ tomorrow.”
Remy laughed through her tears and rested her head against her friend’s shoulder. “I didn’t want to be right.”
“Neither did I. As much of a bitch I was the other day, I was really rooting for you. I just want you to be happy.” She sighed heavily and tapped her fingers on the steering wheel. “So, whiskey or tequila?”
“Tequila, please.” Remy shut her eyes and let the rocking of the car soothe her, but it would be a long time before she managed to forget Stanford Wellington and the life she had imagined with him and his son.
Stan stared at the front door as his heart broke in two. She was gone, just like that, gone because he was too much of a coward to open his damn mouth or risk anything.
“Where’s Remy going?”
“Louis,” Stan said, surprised, and wiped away the wetness on his cheeks. “I thought you were in bed, kiddo. She…uh, she had to go see her family.”
“I heard what she said,” Louis said plainly as he walked down the steps, still in his suit and tie.
“You did?”
He nodded his little head, his curly hair bobbing. “Yeah, I did, Dad. So why aren’t you going after her?”
“It’s complicated… wait, what did you say?”
Louis stepped off the stairs. “Dad. I called you Dad because that’s who you are.”
Stan sank to his knees and hugged Louis close, kissing the top of his head as Louis wrapped his tiny arms around his neck. “Oh, kiddo, you have no idea how happy that makes me.”
“Doesn’t Remy make you happy, too?” he asked, confused.
“Well…yes, but it’s not an easy thing.”
“I heard what you told Aunt Sally before dinner. You love Remy, don’t you?”
Stan was tempted to deny it, but he couldn’t, not anymore. “I do. I love her very much.”
“I do too.” Louis frowned at the front door. “You remember during one of our talks with Dr. Price, you told him you regretted not telling Mom you loved her before she died?”
“I…I did say that.”
“So what are you doing?”
Stan shook his head. “What do you mean?’
“You love Remy, Dad. Why didn’t you tell her?”
He puffed out his cheeks and sat on the floor. “I was worried about you and me, about whether we were ready for that next step or not.”
“I think we are, and besides, Remy makes this place a home. The three of us together.”
“Yeah?”
Louis nodded smiling wide. “Yeah, she does. I want you to be happy, too, Dad. I know you loved Mom and we both miss her, but we have Remy, too. We need her here.”
“You are certainly wise beyond your years. I think you got that from your mom.”
“Probably,” he agreed and laughed when Stan tickled his sides. “So, are you going to go after her or what?”
“Not tonight,” he said and held up a hand when Louis started to argue. “But we will, Saturday. If we’re going to do this, we have to do it right.”
Louis helped him back to his feet, and father and son walked up the steps, talking about their plan to win Remy back, the woman they both needed in their lives.
&n
bsp; Remy tried being drunk all weekend, but Abbey and George wouldn’t allow it and told her by Saturday evening, she’d better be sober enough to sit at the table and eat dinner with them. Callie joined them, the rest of her family living across the country, but it was only the four of them. Not a very merry gathering, especially when Remy was still hurting over leaving the only man she ever loved.
During her drunken rant, she confessed to Callie how much she’d fallen for the damn man and how she hated herself for always trying to do the right thing and leaving. She loved him and here she was taking herself out of his life. The chances of her finding a man that could ever compare to Stan again were slim. Later, when she was alone, she realized Callie and her mom were to blame for some of it, both telling her she needed to find a life of her own. Well, she had done just that and look what happened? But that was simply putting the blame for her own actions on someone else. Her mind was jumbled and part of her wished she’d told the social worker to shove it. The other pictured Stan and Louis having the perfect father-son relationship and being happy, and she would remind herself she’d done the right thing.
She had enough money saved up. A month-long vacation sounded like a great idea. She could disappear. Not coming back sounded like an even greater idea, and she was halfway through packing a suitcase before she broke down in tears again. Her whole body ached as if she had been hit by a truck and it wasn’t from the drinking.
“Remy!” Abbey called up the stairs.
“I’ll be down in a minute, Mom,” she yelled back, dumping her suitcase out on the floor.
“This can’t wait a minute.”
Groaning in aggravation, Remy tossed her suitcase aside and marched out of her room. She ran down the stairs, muttering curses under her breath the entire way down. “What, Mom? I’m really not in the mood to do dinner, so maybe we can just—” She let out a startled yelp and froze, her hand to her chest.
“Told you it couldn’t wait,” Abbey said quietly, smiling from across the living room.