Love of Truth

by C. T. Oliver

  “How was your afternoon? Did you have a nice cuddle on the pillow?” I ask, scratching his head and petting his short little chocolate body.

  I put away the groceries and make a late lunch for Larry and myself. I pack my huge bowl of lettuce with chicken, a hard-boiled egg, and tons of other fixings that make a salad into a proper meal and eat my lunch with Larry next to me working on his own chicken and rice dish.

  Looking out onto the back deck, I see there is still a decent amount of sun left. There is no better time than the present for a good read. I whip up a pitcher of my favorite pineapple margaritas with a splash of Midori on top and head out through the sliding glass doors with Larry on my heel and iPad in hand.

  Being that it is the end of March, I decide not to change into a swimsuit and just lounge in my shorts, t-shirt, and wool infinity scarf. A pint size glass of margarita in hand, I hop onto the lounge chair that is five times my size, and soak up the peacefulness surrounding me.

  Downing a gulp of my drink, I pucker my face in pain. “SonofAH! The brain, it hurts!” When the pain subsides and a few neurons have fried out, I get what feels like an eye roll coming from Larry. I settle down with the iPad and Larry curled up on my lap.

  Ten blissful minutes and I’m lost in a love story of a couple traveling through New Zealand. Loud rap courses from Asher Roth exclaiming his girl partying all the time come blaring from the house across the drive path.

  “No! No! No…” I whine, looking down at a shocked Larry.

  Taking a deep breath I try to focus on the storyline. Things were just getting heated between the beautiful journalist and the rugged adventure seeking professional rock climber. The constant rap beats and cheering are knocking away at my tequila induced buzz and patience.

  “Now might be a good time to practice that patience thing that we learned in Pilates last week, yeah Larry?” Larry is jumping and hopping around at the end of the lounge chair cheering on the party. Traitor.

  I’m not against partying and having a good time. In fact, I have that same song on my playlist, but there is a time and a place for it. Now is not the time. Now it’s quiet reading time. Wow, I sound like a cardigan-wearing-buttoned-up-to-the-neck prude. Well, it is Spring Break season, and not many people in college would ever consider vacationing with a good book like I am.

  Looking over to the house on the left, I try to assess how big the party is. I wonder if it’s worth it to continue with my outdoor lounging or if I should consider going for a late afternoon bike ride.

  Over at the house, there are a few guys in their late twenties and a few overly tanned girls. Overly tanned is an understatement! That color does not occur in nature. Ross’s, from Friends, spray tan accident is a slight blush compared to these girls, I snort to myself. “Okay, Amelia, don’t be bitter. Not everyone is as pale as you.” Looking down at Larry, he seems to agree. I laugh at his antics, and decide it might be a good idea to get in some sightseeing this evening.

  Looking back at the party, a fairly tall guy with dark chocolate hair is at the grill chatting up a bleached blonde girl. She is clearly not shy with him and might be nip-slipping any second now.

  Behind them, there’s another couple. An intelligent looking guy with horn-rimmed glasses and dark blond wavy hair. He seems collected and calm but disinterested while listening to the girl talk enthusiastically and constantly rub his arm. The sight amuses me.

  Towards the other end of the deck, a third guy leans against the porch railing, alone and deep in thought. Seemingly oblivious to all that is around him, he stares off into the ocean taking in the sight. As I take a closer look at his profile he turns and looks straight at me, and in seconds he has a softer look on his face.

  I try to pull my gaze away from his, but I can’t. Even from afar he looks handsome. He is tall, well over six feet, with lean muscles defining his arms and legs, strong broad shoulders, and a powerful chest that adds to his confident stature. His face is gorgeous. He has a strong, prominent, slightly square jaw with a small chin dimple, chiseled cheeks, straight nose, and piercing eyes that are slightly covered by a strong brow line. He radiates strength and power. For the life of me, I can’t take my eyes off of him. Even as he is grinning straight at me and I feel my face warming up.

  A slight tug at the hem of my shirt pulls me out of my stalker daydream. Thank goodness Larry knows how to save face. I’m laughing at my own humility, “He must think I haven’t seen a guy in years the way I was staring at him. Thanks for saving me, Larry.”

  Gathering up Larry and my things, I make my way back to into the house. The whole time still feeling gorgeous guy’s eyes on me.

  Our garage, or what is now my uncle’s personal gym, is off limits to rental guests. He is very strict about his training equipment. Uncle Kevin is a black belt and trained me when I was younger. Mid way through high school, having boys hit on me was more appealing than hitting the Wing Chun wooden dummy, so I eventually stopped.

  Standing next to the dummy, I wonder if I had kept up with karate, would I still be close to him as I used to be. I stopped that line of thinking. The ‘what ifs’ aren’t going to do me any good now.

  I grab the vintage Schwinn beach cruiser and put Larry in the bicycle’s front basket and head towards downtown. While pedaling, my thoughts wander back to the gorgeous guy next door. It’s not like I haven’t seen a good-looking guy before. My friend, Blu, is freaking handsome. He’s gay, so of course he spends hours making himself look that good.

  “Maybe gorgeous guy is gay,” I mumble, and Larry barks at that ridiculous idea. Okay, he is not gay. But what, I wonder, made me act so out of character? I stared like I’d never seen a man before. It’s not like I’m a nun or anything. It’s just that it has been a long time since I found myself interested in a guy, that’s what’s shocking.

  I wasn’t always like this. There was a time when I was confident in what I wanted in a guy. If I liked what I saw, I didn’t think twice before striking up a conversation. Sadly, that girl is gone. In her place is someone who asks questions and looks thoroughly at all things when it comes to relationships of any kind—professional, personal, family, and friendships. It’s just better to be a little jaded. People can’t hurt you that way, I tell myself.

  This self-preservation took away the girl who was careless with her heart and wholeheartedly interacted with others without seeing the glass as half empty. This happened after Trey, my boyfriend of two years—the one who I had adored, cared for, and loved—one day simply told me I wasn’t who he wanted to be with anymore. Soon after the breakup, I found out he had been dating someone else for about half the time we were together. That was what made me lose a part of myself and I locked away what was left. From that moment on, it was hard to find a guy I was interested in without wondering if he was cheater, or questioning the good in him. I know that there are good guys out there, but for me they were few and far between.

  The fifteen-minute bike ride led to the main block of Pacific Shores’ downtown. The downtown area is about five blocks long and lined with black antique street lamps and weathered red brick roads. All the amenities and attractions for basic survival are on these five blocks. I have always loved coming here. It makes me feel as if I stepped into a little historical town circa 1970. I hop off the bicycle and walk over to the bike rack. Maybe some window-shopping with Larry will be nice. I can get something nice for Blu’s upcoming birthday.

  Chapter 4

  I’m helping Cory prepare the food for this afternoon’s party when I look out the kitchen window and see my neighbor carrying bags of groceries into her house. I feel a strange relief and little happy knowing she made it back safe and sound. This feeling is strange. Why do I feel protective over someone I don’t even know?

  Ben chuckles behind me. “So that’s who we’ve been waiting to see,” he says with a shit-eating grin on his damn face.

  Ben is an only child and the same age as Cory. They met the first day of kindergarten and because they bot
h could somewhat put words into a sentence, they were put into the same reading group. Later that day, Ben came home with Cory to have an after school snack, and it seems like he has never left. Cory is so thankful for Ben. When Cory came home from Iraq, there was a period of time where he was a little lost and didn’t know what he wanted to do with the rest of his life, so Ben stepped in. Ben simply told Cory he was going to get into business. Since then, Cory has been a part of Ben’s business plan, one that he will one day merge with P&R. Ben is smart, he likes things well planned, organized, and finely executed, which is why his business plan was immediately approved by our dad and very soon in the near future will be a part of P&R.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I say, heading to the fridge to grab a beer.

  “Yeah, like you haven’t been staring out that window for the last two hours. Are you sure you want to be a lawyer? You’re not very good at this lying thing,” Ben says with a smirk.

  I take a long pull of my beer, staring squarely at him. “A good lawyer relies on facts to win cases—clean or dirty facts.”

  Ben chuckles silently and looks out the window again. “So? She’s cute, man. Why are you stalking her like a horny old bastard when you should just go introduce yourself?”

  “Awww, he’s shy,” Cory pouts, making a baby face at me.

  Glaring at them, I reason. “First off, I don’t have time for this and you assholes know I don’t do flings. And secondly, I don’t see any of you getting any girls, so stop pushing me.”

  Cory has a smirk on his face. “Mom would say you’re defensive, meaning you like what you see. And, we’re pushing your ass so that maybe you’ll be better company. We don’t like your old man contemplative attitude! Now, stop stalking her ass and ask her out already, damn!” Cory’s voice rises with each word.

  “Good channeling your mom there, bro. I felt as though Lucy was really in the room,” Ben says, fist bumping Cory.

  “Thanks. I added in the last ‘damn’ in her honor,” Cory says, with a smug look on his face.

  “Okay, while you girls get in touch with your feminine side, I’m going to go shower,” I say, clearly not in the mood for this shit.

  I wonder what is so special about this girl that has me looking. I know nothing about her other than she has nice legs and the prettiest hair that is beautiful either up or down. She is simple in her beauty, needing little to no makeup. She is appreciative, taking time to soak up the sun whenever she steps outside. Okay, so I know some stuff. I guess a heightened sense of awareness does have its advantages.

  Heading downstairs after my shower, I see the girls from this morning already. Being the southern gentleman that I am, I make small talk and offer drinks, but I’m really not into this. What is it with single people when they’re on vacation? They think since they are single that they can be reckless and be with whoever they wish without a second thought.

  Man, this must be what being a grow-up is like. I can still remember a time when I was reckless, but the guilty feelings I would get afterwards weren’t worth it. I guess Cory can channel our mom outwardly but I channel her internally.

  I help Cory set everything up by the grill while Ben set up some party music in the background. Not really in the mood for talking I stand back with a beer and take in my surroundings.

  Growing up with a mom who is a north westerner and who surfs, I was practically raised up and down the west coast. Being at the ocean always reminds me of all the family trips we took when we were younger. Even with a law firm in tow, mom always made sure dad was part of his children’s lives, just the way dad wanted it. He never missed a birthday, graduation, football or basketball game.

  These thoughts make me feel a little home sick. It’s hard to believe I’m leaving my parents behind, and seeking a new start on the west coast. As mom always reminds me, she is never far away and I’m where they need me to be. I smile thinking about the little petite woman who is bold as lightning. She always has a way of comforting us that leaves us feeling important and that we can do great things.

  Feeling someone watching me, I turn and look straight into the most captivating eyes. God, she is breathtaking. She is even more adorable in her shocked-caught-looking state. Without her sunglasses, I can finally see her heart-shaped face. She has slightly pouty lips. Her cheeks are full and slightly blushing. She is petite, but her body looks strong—she must be in great shape. I can’t help this grin on my face knowing she’s taking a look, too. Her blush is more prominent, giving her the prettiest glow I have ever seen.

  Her little dog pulls at her shirt drawing her attention. She leans over and smiles at her dog before grabbing all her things and then disappearing into her house. Okay, when I talk to her, I’m also going to have to talk to that dog about common courtesy, a.k.a. No Cock-Block!

  “So now that you guys have had eye sex, don’t you think the next step would be talking to her? Kinda like a hug at the door for good manners,” Ben says with a huge smirk on his face.

  “Wait, what? You hug your one-nighters at the door the next morning?”

  “Of course. My mama raised me right. And don’t change the subject! I practically felt as though I was in the room with you two with the way you were undressing her with your eyes,” Ben chuckles.

  “Me too, with the way she was heating up, she’s probably going back inside to take a shower,” Avion, Ava, Avon, or whatever the hell her name is says. She giggles and rubs what will soon be her bare nipples on Cory’s arm. I give my brother a hard look with a ‘what the fuck, her?’ undertone.

  Cory looks sheepish and pulls her away from the conversation. He knows better than to disrespect the girls I like. I never go after girls like Avion-Ava-Avon-whatever her name is. I like classy girls who respect themselves and others, and who are polite. Very librarian, but the hair has to come down at night type of girls. Wait, is that what this is? I like her?

  “Yeah, I’m gonna talk to her,” I say to no one in particular as I look over at the other house. I can sense Ben flashing me his arrogant smile.

  “Dude, go over and ask her over for dinner. We made plenty,” Cory suggests. This is rare; Cory never wants to share food.

  Looking around, I decided when I meet the little cutie next door it will be just the two of us getting to know each other. Not with the Cory’s groupies around. As I finish my thought, she walks out with her bicycle and I see her pedaling away.

  After a steak, a few burgers, several drumsticks, and a huge salad for dinner, we settle down with the girls on the deck to play through a few hands of poker. A couple of hands in, the girls decide they want to sit out and be the luck for the guys. Please. There is no luck here. Luck is not needed when you were taught to read facial cues and had extensive training in micro expressions.

  I stretch out my leg as I lean back in the longue chair on the porch, dreading all the clean up Ben and I are going to have to do since Cory is ‘tired and headed off to bed’.

  Though Ben is technically Cory’s best friend, we’ve always had this respectful older brotherly understanding of each other. It has always amazed me how smart Ben is. He looks the part, too. He wears glasses and is always in those t-shirts with weird science sayings or math equations that only math nerds understand. Looking at him no one would know that he is mix martial arts trained, sky dives, rides dirt bikes, surfs, and has hiked numerous mountains all over the world. He is just an adventure junkie.

  “So tell me again why you don’t have flings or date?” Ben asks, after a couple sips of scotch.

  I look over and look at him squarely. Never would I have thought that one day I was going to have this conversation with a friend. “Since when do we sit around talking about our relationship problems?”

  “Since you don’t get laid enough so we can talk about you gettin’ ass, or compare tits sizes,” Ben throws back.

  “I don’t see you ‘tired and headed off to bed’ with anyone.”

  “You know me, I don’t do relationships.
Never around long enough to make them last. And those girls were freakishly orange, like UT orange. You don’t even see that at home, and we’re from fuckin’ Austin, for Christ’s sake!” Ben says with a disgusted look on his face.

  Laughing at the look on Ben’s face, I decide to be truthful with him. “I just don’t want to fuck up, man. You know the thing that happened with Jenny? It scared the shit out of me. And with things being so close to the finish line, I don’t want any distractions.”

  “You knew she was playing a game that whole time. And eventually, shit cleared itself out.”

  “Yeah, but there was a point where I was about to tip and give in to her bullshit. Jenny called my mom, and told my mom I broke her heart and used her. You don’t understand the disappointment that was in mom’s voice when I finally talked to her. It broke my heart, man. I thought it would be easier just to date her.” Mom knows her boys are not saints, but she stands by her teaching to respect all women. When she thought I failed one of her teachings, it broke my heart knowing I disappointed her. True to form, she gave me supportive words to help me become a better person to help Jenny.

  “No, that would have been the worst. Then what? When you did break up with her, it would be the same shit all over again. Plus, Lucy knew that girl was playing a game. She knew even before Jenny played the ‘depression’ card.”

  “Yeah, that’s what my dad said.”

  For a while I thought I was the cause of Jenny’s depression so I stuck near her to help her. I helped her check into a clinic for treatment, but soon found out Jenny checked herself out of the clinic a couple of days later. She didn’t have depression, she just wanted attention. That was when I put my foot down and got a restraining order. It was then I was able to face mom because I knew I had done all I could to help Jenny but she did not want the help.