Love of Truth

by C. T. Oliver

“Amelia, intellect and knowledge can be gained, but it’s the motivation that drives people to do the things they do. You can have all the knowledge in the world and use it to formulate the perfect idea, but if you have no desire to do something with it, it will still be just an idea in your head.”

  “What if you have the motivation, but no ideas?” she asks me with a serious look on her face.

  “Well, that’s where we turn to what you like and what you can contribute to the world.” I swipe her bangs to the side and tuck it behind her ear. “Like for instance, did you know that close to seventy percent of the books you have are bombs and explosives related.”

  “Not the ones on the iPad,” she counters with a saucy smile.

  “Of course, those are our secret,” I give her a wink. “But you, Amelia, have such a gift for understanding the physics of projectiles. I see it in the way you shoot arrows and I sure as hell know you understand the workings of firearms, even if you don’t want to touch one.” I lean back a little so I can look her in the eyes. “So you know, I have worked with scientists and chemists even, in the military before.”

  “Are you saying that I should work for the military making IEDs?” she asks with a sarcastic tone. “The same institution that I don’t exactly have the warmest feelings for?”

  “I’m saying that you should look into putting yourself in the right environment so you can use your knowledge to do good.” I tighten my arm around her. “And the military doesn’t use IEDs, though they do teach you how to take them apart.” I shrug.

  “Great, using my own words against me. Thanks babe,” she says dryly as she brushes some hair off my forehead. I love it when she runs her fingers through my hair.

  “Just promise me you’ll think about it,” I say in a calm voice.

  Amelia looks off to the side and pouts her lips. “Explosive chemistry is actually very interesting.”

  I chuckle at the look of mischievousness already crossing her eyes. “But just so you know, the institution you’re not so fond of have helped form a few great men, if I do say so myself,” I smirk at her.

  “Yeah, Cory’s pretty cool when he’s not eating you out of house and home,” she says with a serious look on her face.

  “Oh yeah? You think so, huh?” I ask, running a hand under her tank top making a beeline to her breasts.

  She lets out a squeal and squirms in my lap. “Cory is cool, but I’ve always found the quiet thinker to be way sexier,” she purposely squirm so my erection is cradled between her butt cheeks, “and powerful where it counts.”

  I hold her tight to me bringing her lips to mine. I love the feeling of contentment and completion whenever we kiss. I brush a finger across one of her nipples making her arch her back and press her breast into my hand. I can already feel her hand making its way under my boxers. Gathering her firmly in my arms, I move her to the desk without breaking our kiss that’s becoming fierce with want. Standing between her legs, I work off her sleeping shorts before she wraps her legs tightly around my waist. Pulling back from our kiss I rid myself of my boxers and push her tank top off of her. I take in the look of her beautiful skin basking in the glow of the desk lamp, her plump breasts arching off the desk and her bottomless eyes staring straight into my heart. I can no longer hold back my feelings. “I love you, Amelia,” I say before leaning down to give her a searing kiss.

  I can feel her arms and legs tighten around me, holding me firmly to her. She buries her fingers in my hair and pulls her lips away from mine only to look deeply into my eyes. “I love you, too,” she says quietly with a shy smile on her lips.

  I run my nose down hers. “I have been dying to tell you to let you know how I feel.” I trail kisses down her chin working my way down to a nipple. “I ache with it whenever I look at you, think about you.” I say around her nipple before circling my tongue around it. I give it a hard suck that leaves her moaning and tightening her grip on my hair. Running my hand down her body I touch all her delicate soft skin. The more I touch her the bigger the tingle of excitement travel through me. This excitement comes from knowing I am now making love with the one I love and she loves me back. My hand stops at the apex of her thighs to feel the shiver that always runs through her body when I’m near her sex. It’s her body’s way of recognizing me.

  Amelia squirms and grinds her clit against my palm. She moans and I can feel her body tightening. “Craig,” She tugs at my hair to get my lips up to hers. “I want you, now. I need to feel you,” she says, taking my hand away from her hot wet lips. She pulls me closer with her legs. “I need you to come with me. I need our connection,” she says against my lips.

  I kiss her slow and sweet as I sink into her. Feeling her welcoming me and holding onto me tightly only brings home the feeling of fulfillment. “God Amelia, it’s like coming home every time.” I hold her face between my hands and look into her eyes. “You make me whole. Our connection, it’s beyond anything I’ve ever felt. You are mine, my love.” I kiss her as I pick up my pace. I can feel her hips grinding in rhythm with my thrusts. She tightens her thighs around my hips as I give one last thrust that sends us both spiraling into euphoria.

  Amelia buries her face into the side of my neck as I lay onto top of her trying to take air into my burning lungs. “Craig, the way I feel about you—I don’t think that love is enough to describe it,” she whispers. I can only hold her tighter to me to bask in the calm and serenity of being in love with Amelia.

  Chapter 25

  Downing my fourth cup of Stumptown coffee for the morning, I frantically finish up the edits for my master’s proposal. Over the last week, I’ve been doing extensive research into explosive chemistry and finding myself excited the more I learn about the field. I have also been secretly looking into science doctorial programs that are offered in Seattle. It’s more of keeping my options open, I tell myself. Hitting ‘save’ on my document and then sending it off to my advisor, I feel confident in my future for the first time in my life. Looking out into the heart of downtown, I feel like I belong. Like everyone else around me, I finally know my place in this world.

  My moment of gratification is cut short when my phone reminds me it’s time to meet up with Craig for lunch. I pull on my black ankle cowboy boots and wrap on a black and gold infinity scarf that off sets my marigold sundress before checking my makeup one last time before heading out the door with Larry.

  “Let’s go have lunch with Daddy,” I say to Larry, who I think glared at me.

  Craig and I have been adjusting to the city life pretty well as a couple. There have been weeks that we only see each other in the mornings and at night when we finally crawl into bed in the early AM. But we make time just to talk and be truthful with each about our lives and I can’t be happier.

  I have been walking on clouds since the exchange of I love yous, which was followed by the meeting of the parents. Via Skype, thank goodness. Even though I was nervous and sweating in my panties, I fell in love with Craig’s mom, Lucy, on sight. She’s free spirited but strong and elegant in the way she carries herself. I can see a lot of her in Craig and the self-composed look he got from his dad. Craig’s dad, Charles, is quiet and confidant with a stern lawyer’s face. However, one look into Charles eyes you can see his heart belongs to his doting wife.

  I step out of the elevator and walk past Mode giving Blu a quick wave before stepping out into the cool Spring day. A couple of days in the week, Craig has to be at the courthouse to shadow other lawyers so we are able to have lunch or coffee on our breaks. Though we spend half the time inhaling our food and gulping down our drinks, it’s just being together that counts.

  I pick up our lunches from the Flying Elephants before dashing a couple of blocks to meet Craig at Lownsdale Square. Craig stands by our usual bench in a custom tailored three-piece dark navy suit with one leg crossed over the other, hair slightly combed back and both hands in his trouser pockets looking nonchalant. I cross the last street feeling giggly and weak in the knees from just one loo
k at him.

  Craig’s face instantly lights up when he sees me coming towards him. “Hi baby,” he whispers in my ear when I go up on my tippy toes to give him a peck on the cheek. I take in a breath of his light woodsy aftershave, his warmth, and the comfort I get from being in his arms. “You really wanted to test my will power for public indecency by wearing those boots didn’t you?” Craig pulls my body up against his wall of muscles. “Because right now I just want lift up your dress, tear off your panties and take you up against that statue,” Craig growls in my ear. All I can feel is his erection pressed against my stomach and I’m fighting the urge to hop on his body and wrap my legs around his waist.

  “Oh babe, now my panties are wet,” I moan in his ear feeling every whisper of wind in the air on my tingling skin.

  He gives me a firm peck on the lips. “Tonight, those boots are going to be around my waist as I pound into you,” he whispers and pulls my dazed body to sit on the bench. “Hey little man, did Mommy bring you a snack, too?” Craig asks Larry as he sets his satchel aside and starts to dig into our bagged lunches. “So, how was the proposal?”

  I take a second to snap out of my Craig-induced wet-daydream before opening my cup of chili and frown in disappointment. “Babe, this doesn’t make my eyes water and singe my nose hairs like yours does.”

  Craig chuckles around a big bite of roast beef sandwich. “Come on silly, proposal,” he mumbles between chews.

  I smile widely. “Sent.”

  “Alright! I’m proud of you, baby.” Craig leans over to give me a peck on the cheek.

  Anxiety creeps up when I look into Craig’s eyes and know I’m keeping something from him, even if it’s just an idea. I didn’t want to count my chickens before I even lay any eggs, but I want to honest and upfront with Craig. “Babe?” I ask, slowly pushing all the beans in my chili to one side. No need having extra gas if I’m going into explosive chemistry.

  “Hmm?” Craig mumbles while breaking off a piece of bread for Larry.

  “I also looked into sending my proposal to a few professors in Seattle,” I say in a small voice as I pay full attention to every bean in my chili. Some part of me is hoping he didn’t hear it and we could forgo my attempt on binding our future. Craig has only mentioned working to make our relationship work, nothing of joining our future together.

  I feel his index finger run down the side of my jaw and turning my face to up into his excited teal-gray eyes. Craig has on a wide smile, making his normally handsome quiet thinker face instantly dashingly charming.

  “You’d really do that? Come to Seattle with me?” he asks with his smile getting bigger with every word.

  “Yes, but I don’t want to impose. We’re so new to this and I don’t want to suffocate you and it’s just an idea and I only contacted a few professors in the field…” I ramble on with the heaviest feeling in my heart.

  Craig leans over and stops my mumbling with a light kiss on my lips. He rests his forehead against mine and looks deeply into my eyes. “Amelia, you have no idea how happy you make me by even considering such a move,” he says, rubbing his thumb back and forth on my cheek. “You don’t know how many times I’ve wanted to ask you. Amelia, I would never want to leave or step away from you. That is the truth.”

  I look into his sobering eyes and nod with a small smile. I trust Craig, but I’m still afraid that he will leave. One day, I will be able to accept that truth and be full heartedly happy and content. For now, having Craig say those things and being here with me is enough to help me be hopeful.

  I give him a small kiss and sit back with my cup of chili. “You know, I don’t want you to be so over the moon about this. I still have to apply to the schools there and get an advisor. I might not get in anywhere and—”

  “Really, baby?” Craig says dryly with one of his dark eyebrows raised. “You have perfect grades. I don’t think I know anyone else who has all A’s in college besides you.”

  “Let’s be realistic. We have to look at all the possibilities.” I wrinkle my face at my bite of the bland chili.

  Craig chuckles and takes the cup away from me only to hand me the other half of his roast beef. “Of course, we’ll look at all the possibilities. Probability-wise though, I’d say you have a very good chance of getting in anywhere you want.” Craig gives me a wide confident smile.

  I shake my head at him, giving him a mouth full of sandwich smile. “Okay, Mr. Lawyer. How’s your day going?” I mumble around my bite of tender roast beef. I almost shed a tear when the horseradish hits my pallet, clearing out my sinuses.

  “Not bad. Remember, tonight I’m going to my study group for the bar exam, so have dinner and head to bed, okay?” Craig gives me a stern look.

  “Yes, dear,” I mock with a cheeky smile.

  We finish up our lunch in comfortable silence under the rare Northwest sun. Enjoying the sight of Larry chasing after a few pigeons and laughing when the pigeons look back scaring him back to the safety of Mommy and Daddy. Sharing these rare moments with Craig gives me hope about our future together.

  Craig gets up to throw away the trash and checks his watch. “Thank you for lunch, baby.” He offers me his hand to help me up. “Maybe next time we can do without the onions in the sandwiches,” he chuckles and leans down to give me soft kiss on the lips.

  “Mmm, but they’re so good and they guarantee you won’t be kissing anyone else for the rest of the afternoon.”

  Craig pulls me in for a fierce kiss. “That’s to tide me over until tonight since I can’t kiss anyone else for the rest of the afternoon.” Craig presses his firm body closer to mine so I’m all wrapped up in his scent. “But I like onion breath since it works both ways.” He leans back to give me one last peck on the lips. “No kissing for you, either.” Craig gives me a sexy grin as he lets me out of his embrace. I instantly miss his body. He walks me to end of the block where we part ways. “I love you, baby. Remember, don’t wait up for me.” He kisses the top of my head before letting go of my hand.

  “I’ll see you then. Love you.” On my tippy toes, I give him a peck on the cheek before turning towards home. Half way down the next block with Larry sniffing everything in sight, I receive a text from Craig that has me giddy and pressing my legs together to dull the ache. Smiling idiotically to myself, I hit reply.

  “Professor Adler. Professor Adler.”

  I look up mid-text to see a very excited familiar looking guy rushing towards me. “Um…hi, Jason,” I say, taking a few steps back to make some space from where he stopped. “You can call me, Amelia. I’m really not formal.”

  “Right,” Jason smiles while trying to catch his breath from the sprint he took to get to me. “I heard you decided on a thesis already. Are you looking for a lab assistant?” he asks with his hands nervously fidgeting the straps on his bag back.

  I bend down to pick up Larry who has started to whimper. “I don’t think that I’m allowed an assistant. I haven’t started applying for any grants, so I can’t afford one. Thank you for asking, though.” I say in my most professional voice.

  “Oh, I don’t mind not getting paid. I can help you look into grants. I have experience doing that. I have a degree in computer science so finding scholarships and grants for education isn’t something new to me. Plus, I can use the lab experience,” Jason says with a smile on his face. It’s a smile that doesn’t seem quite right to me.

  “Everything is still in the works and my advisor hasn’t gotten back to me. I don’t want to promise you anything,” I state in a tone hoping to end this conversation.

  “It’s not a problem. I’d love to learn more from you and see if this is finally the field that I want to be a part of.” Jason flashes me a smile that makes my skin crawl.

  “Well, I have to get home and get ready for my lecture this afternoon.” I hold Larry closer to me so he will stop the soft barking.

  “Alright, I’ll see you then.” Jason takes a closer step to me.

  I flash him a small smile and turn
to head home with a very scared Larry in my hands. Halfway home the nervous feeling I got from Jason still lingers, making me feel as if I’m being watched. I push it aside. Perhaps it’s because Jason stepped to close to me. I’ve always disliked people being in my personal bubble. Though, Jason gives me the creeps with his overly friendliness, every student deserves a chance to gain lab experience. I can’t let my discomfort hinder his learning experience.

  Light feathers are being brushed lightly down my back giving me shivers throughout my body. Soft silk is skating across my skin. I feel pampered as the taste of scotch nibbles at my lips. In my dream state I recognize Craig. His evening stubble teases my tingling skin and right away I turn on my side to accept him. Wrapping a strong arm around my waist, he pulls my back to his warm naked body.

  “God baby, I need you so badly.” He nibbles my earlobe sending scorching fire throughout my body. I arch my back to seek more of him. “Amelia.” Craig runs a hand up and down the front of my body, teasing me with his gentle touch. “Baby, I need you to open your eyes and look at me, please.”

  At the sound of his voice, laced with worry and concern, my eyes open and focus in the dim lit room on Craig’s tired face. “What’s wrong, Craig?” I reach my arm up to run my hand down the side of his face.

  “Nothing is wrong, baby. But I need you to understand that I love you. I will always protect you and be by your side. Tell me that you understand.”

  I shift more onto my back and hold his face in both hands. I look into teal-grays that are shimmering in the dim bedroom. “Of course, I understand.”

  “I need you to believe in me. I will do everything to protect you and care for you because I love you.” He looks at me with sobering eyes that are radiating seriousness and determination.

  “Craig, I believe and trust in you,” I whisper. Something must be wrong. Craig is not his normal composed self. “What’s wrong, babe?” I look over at the alarm clock. “Wow, it’s almost two.”