by Susan Meier
She shrugged. “Maybe.”
“Grace, I want to pay my fair share. And I can be pretty stubborn. So no maybes or probablys or whatevers. Let’s really be honest about the money.”
“Okay.”
He stacked the dishes in the dishwasher. “Okay. So once we get everything straightened out I would like to open an account for you at Carson Services.”
Grace laughed. “Right. Danny, even if I have spare cash from our sharing expenses for Sarah, I’m not sure I’ll have more than a hundred dollars a month or so.”
“A hundred dollars a month is good.”
“Oh, really? You’re going to open an investment account with a hundred dollars?”
He winced. “I thought I’d open it with a few thousand dollars of my own money. You know, to make up for what you’ve spent to date and you could add to it.”
Grace sighed. “You told me to stop talking about the past and I did. So now I’m going to tell you to stop fretting about the money.”
“But I—”
“Just stop. I don’t want your money. I never did. When I said I wanted to be rich that night at the beach house, I was actually saying that I wanted my parents and me to be comfortable.” She motioned around her downstairs. “Like this. This is enough. I am happy. I do not want your money. Can you accept that?”
He held her gaze for several seconds. Grace didn’t even flinch, so that he would see from her expression that this was as important to her as no longer discussing the past was for him.
“Yes, I accept that.”
“Okay.”
* * *
Sliding under the covers that night, Grace was still annoyed by their money discussion. Not because he wanted to pay his fair share, and not even because she had brought his suspicions about her on herself, but because that one memory opened the door to a hundred more.
She remembered what it felt like to be with him. He’d made her feel so special. Wonderful. Perfect.
Warmth immediately filled her. So did the sense that she’d had during their weekend together. That they fit. That they were right for each other. She had been so happy that weekend, but she also remembered that he’d been happy too.
Was she so wrong to think she brought out the nice guy in him? And was it so wrong to believe that there was a chance that the nice guy could come out and stay out forever? And was it so wrong to think that maybe—just maybe—if the nice guy stayed out forever they could fall in love for real? Not fall into bed because they were sexually attracted. But fall in love. For real. To genuinely care about each other.
She didn’t know, and she couldn’t even clearly analyze the situation, because they’d slept together and that one wonderful memory clouded her judgment.
Plus she’d already decided she wouldn’t be second-guessing him anymore. He’d said she didn’t have to worry about him kissing her again.
He didn’t want her. She had to remember that.
CHAPTER EIGHT
GRACE AWAKENED TO the scent of pancakes and the sound of Sarah slapping her chubby hands against the bars of her crib.
“I’m coming.”
She groggily pulled herself out of bed and lifted Sarah into her arms. Rain softly pitter-pattered on the roof. The scent of blueberry pancakes wafted through the air. It would have been a perfect morning except Grace had tossed and turned so much the night before that she’d slept in.
Though she had said she didn’t want to get accustomed to having Danny around, after dressing Sarah for the day, she padded downstairs and into the kitchen area.
“Hey.”
Danny looked up from the newspaper he was reading at the kitchen counter. “Good morning.”
“I’m sorry, but I slept in. Could you take her?”
“And feed her?”
Grace nodded.
“Sure. Come on, Sarah Bear.”
Sarah easily went to Danny and Grace turned and walked back though the living room, but at the stairs she paused, watching Danny as he held Sarah with one arm and prepared her cereal with the other. Rain continued to tap against the roof, making the house cozy and warm. Breakfast was made. She would have privacy to dress. It all seemed so perfect that Grace had a moment of pure, unadulterated sadness, realizing that this was what sleeping together too soon had cost them.
She drew in a breath and ran upstairs. There was no point crying over spilled milk. No point wishing for what might have been. And no way she could jeopardize the comfort level they had by yearning for a romance. Particularly with a man who so desperately needed to do things at his own pace, in his own way.
She showered, dressed and returned downstairs. Sarah sat in her high chair and cooed when Grace approached. Danny rose from the dining room table and walked into the kitchen.
“I’ll microwave your pancakes. Just to warm them up.”
“Thanks.”
“Want some coffee?”
“Yes, but I’ll get it.” She laughed. “I told you, I don’t want to get too accustomed to having help.”
He leaned against the counter and crossed his arms on his chest. “We could share the nanny I hire.”
She held up her hands to stop him. “Don’t tempt me.”
“Why not? What else is she going to do during the weeks you have Sarah?”
“Take yoga.”
He burst out laughing. “Come on, Grace, at least think about it.”
She poured herself a cup of coffee, then grabbed the cream from the refrigerator. “The part of me that wants help is being overruled by the part of me that loves the one-on-one time with Sarah.”
He nodded. “Okay. Makes sense.”
She turned and smiled at him. “Thanks.”
He returned her smile. “You’re welcome.”
For a few seconds, they stood smiling at each other, then Grace’s smile faded and she quickly turned away. She really liked him, and that triggered more pheromones than a thousand bulging biceps. They were better off when she had disliked him, before his explanation and apology. Now instead of disagreeing and keeping their distance they were becoming friends, getting close, and she was wishing for things she couldn’t have.
“By the way, my lawyer called this morning.”
Brought back to the present by a very timely reminder, Grace faced him. “Oh, yeah?”
Danny winced. “Yeah. The guy’s a nut. He called me while he was shaving. He actually woke me.” The microwave buzzer rang. Unfolding his arms, Danny pushed away from the counter. “He asked about the progress on our agreement. I told him that you had told me you contacted a lawyer, and that lawyer had told you it was okay to sign, so you signed it, right?”
The casual, cozy atmosphere of Grace’s little house shifted. Tension seeped into the space between them with words left unsaid. He hadn’t signed their agreement. She had. But he hadn’t. And it worried his lawyer. Or maybe it worried him and he used the call from his lawyer as a cover?
She swallowed, calling herself crazy for being suspicious. Shared custody was her idea. “I signed it.”
“Great. Give it to me and I’ll sign it, then we’ll be set. According to my lawyer, once we have that in place we won’t even need a hearing.” Plate of warm pancakes in his hand, he faced her. “We simply begin sharing custody.”
His pancakes suddenly looked like a bribe, and Grace froze, unable to take them from his hand. Until she reminded herself that Danny had nothing to gain by being nice to her. If anything she benefited from any agreement that kept them out of court.
She forced a smile and took the plate from his hands. “Sounds good. It’s upstairs. I’ll get it.”
He glanced at his watch, then grimaced. “I have an early meeting today so unless you want your pancakes to get cold again, how about if you get it for me tonig
ht. Tomorrow’s Saturday, but I can take it to work on Monday and sign it in front of my secretary who can witness it. Then we’ll make copies.”
Calling herself every sort of fool for being suspicious, Grace walked to the table. “That sounds good.” Eager to make up for her few seconds of doubt, she added, “But it’s on top of my dresser. You could get it.”
He waved a hand in dismissal. “We’ll handle it tomorrow.”
Grace drove to work, feeling like an idiot for mistrusting him. But walking from the parking garage, she reminded herself that it wasn’t out of line for her to be suspicious of him. She might be prone to a little too much second-guessing about him, but he hadn’t really told her a lot about his life. And he stopped the discussion any time they began to edge beyond surface facts.
Plus, they had a past. An unusual, unhappy past. He mistrusted her. When she told him she was pregnant, he kicked her out of his office. After that, she never tried to contact him again because she hadn’t trusted him. She only took the baby to him for Sarah’s sake. She hadn’t expected him to want visitation, let alone have a hand in raising their daughter. But he did. He wanted full custody and had agreed to shared custody. To get Grace to give him that, he had to prove himself. Everything they’d done had been a negotiation of a sort.
She shouldn’t magically feel that things between them had been patched up.
Except that he’d trusted her enough to tell him about his son.
Didn’t that count as at least a step toward mending fences?
Yes, it did. Yet even knowing that he had good reason to be off his game something bothered her. Something in her gut said that Danny was too eager about their agreement and accepting shared custody, and she had no idea why.
Grace couldn’t come up with a solid answer, even though the question popped into her head a million times that day. She returned home that evening edgy and annoyed, tired of running this scenario through her brain. Shared custody and the agreement had been her idea. She’d already signed the agreement. Week about with Sarah was the fair thing to do in their circumstance. The man had offered her the use of his nanny. He’d told her about his son. Yet something still nagged at her.
It didn’t help that Sarah was grouchy. After a quiet and somewhat strained dinner, Danny excused himself to go to his room to work on a project that needed to be completed on Monday morning. Grace tried to stack the dishes in the dishwasher with Sarah crying in her high chair, but her patience quickly ran out. She lifted the baby and carried her up to Danny’s room.
“Can you watch her while I finish clearing the kitchen?”
Looking too big for the little corner desk Grace had in her spare room more for decorative purposes than actual use, Danny faced her. “Grace, I—”
“Please.” Grace marched into the room. “I know you have to get this project done for Monday morning, but I had a miserable day and I just need a few minutes to clean up.” She dropped Sarah onto his lap. “When the dishes are done, I’ll take her again.”
* * *
With that she walked out, closing Danny’s bedroom door behind her, leaving nothing but silence in her wake.
Danny glanced down at the little girl on his lap. “One of us made her angry and since I’ve been up here and you were the one with her in the kitchen, I’m blaming you.”
Sarah screeched at him.
“Right. You can argue all you want but the fact remains that I was up here and you were down there with her.”
He rose from the little desk chair and walked to the door, intending to take the baby to the living room where he and Sarah could watch TV or maybe play on the floor. But even before his hand closed around the knob, he had second thoughts. Grace said she wanted to clean the kitchen, but maybe what she needed was some peace and quiet. He glanced around, unsure of what to do. The room wasn’t tiny, but it wasn’t a center of entertainment, either.
“Any suggestions for how we can amuse ourselves for the next hour or so?” he asked Sarah as he shifted her into his arms so that he could look down at her. She smiled up at him and his heart did a crazy flip-flop. From this angle he didn’t see as much of Cory in her features as he saw Grace. Were he to guess, he would say Sarah’s eyes would some day be the same shade of violet that Grace’s were.
She rubbed her little fist across her nose, then her right eye, the sign babies used when they were sleepy. Danny instinctively kissed the top of her head.
She peeked up and grinned at him and this time Danny’s heart expanded with love. Not only had Sarah grown accustomed to him, but also he was falling in love with her. He was falling in love with the baby, happy living in Grace’s home and having feelings for Grace he didn’t dare identify. He knew she deserved a better man than he was. He’d made a promise to himself not to hurt her and he intended to keep it.
He looked down at Sarah, who yawned. “On, no, Sarah! You can’t fall asleep this early. You’ll wake up before dawn, probably ready to play and tomorrow’s Saturday, the only day your mom gets to sleep in—”
He stopped talking because inspiration struck him. The thing to do would be to get Sarah ready for bed. That way she wouldn’t fall asleep for at least another half hour and who knew? Maybe a bath would revive her? Plus he might make a few brownie points with Grace by keeping them so busy she could relax.
Pleased with that idea, he held Sarah against his shoulder, quietly opened his bedroom door and looked down the hall. Grace was nowhere in sight, and he could still hear the sounds of pots and pans in her kitchen.
He sneaked across the little hall and into her room. Inside he was immediately enfolded in a warm, sheltered feeling, the sense a man got when he felt at home. He squeezed his eyes shut, telling himself not to get so attached to Grace and her things that he again did something they’d both regret. He took a breath, then another and then another, reminding himself of all the reasons being too cozy with her was wrong.
Sarah wiped her nose in his shirt and snuggled into his shoulder, bringing him back to reality.
“No. No,” he said, manipulating her into a different position before she could get too comfortable. “You’ll be able to go to sleep soon enough if you let your daddy get you ready for bed.”
He searched around the room for her baby tub, but realized it was probably in the bathroom. Remembering that preparation was a parent’s best trick when caring for a baby, he decided to get everything ready before he brought his sopping wet baby from the bathroom. He laid a clean blanket on the changing table, then pulled open the top draw of a white chest of drawers that had bears painted on the knobs. Inside were undershirts and socks so tiny they looked about thumb-size. Knowing those were too small, he closed the drawer, and opened the next one, seeking pajamas. He found them, then located the stash of disposable diapers, and arranged them on the changing table.
With everything ready he took Sarah to the bathroom. Holding her with one arm, he filled the baby tub he’d placed inside the regular bathtub, found her soap and shampoo and the baby towel that hung on the rack.
That was when he realized she was fully dressed and he was still wearing his suit trousers. In an executive decision, he pronounced it too late to do anything about his trousers and laid her on the fluffy carpet in front of the tub to remove her clothes.
She giggled and cooed and he shook his head. “Let’s just hope you’re this happy after I put you in the water.”
She grinned at him.
Returning her smile, he lifted her to eye level. “Ready?”
She laughed and patted his cheeks.
“Okay, then.” He dipped her into the tub and when she didn’t howl or stiffen up, he figured she was one of the babies who loved to sit in water. Grateful, he kept one hand at her back as he wet a washcloth and squeezed a few drops of liquid soap on it, amazed by how quickly baby care was coming back to him.
“So you like the water?” Danny said, entertaining Sarah with chitchat as he washed her, just in case any part of bathtime had the potential to freak her out. She merely gooed and cooed at him, even when he washed her hair. Pleased by his success, he rinsed off all the soapsuds, rolled her in the soft terry-cloth baby towel and carried her back to Grace’s room.
Not in the slightest uncomfortable, Sarah chewed a blue rubber teething ring while Danny put on her diaper and slid her into pajamas.
When she was completely dressed, he took her out into the hallway. He heard the sounds of the television—indicating Grace was done filling the dishwasher and probably waiting for the cycle to be complete so she could put everything away—and turned to the stairs, but his conscience tweaked. He’d been here five days and he hadn’t done anything more than make pancakes, help with dishes and grill a few things. This was the first time he’d really helped with the baby. It seemed totally wrong to take Sarah downstairs and disturb the only private moments he’d allowed Grace.
He turned and walked back into Grace’s bedroom. “So what do we do?”
Sarah rubbed her eyes again.
Danny frowned. He didn’t have a bottle for her, but she didn’t seem hungry. Or fussy. All she appeared to be was sleepy. Now that they’d wasted almost an hour getting her ready for bed, it didn’t seem too early to let her fall asleep. The only question was, could she fall asleep without a bottle?
He remembered a comment Grace had made about making up stories for Sarah, and walked to the bed. If he laid Sarah in her crib, he ran the risk that she’d cry and Grace’s private time would be disturbed. It seemed smarter to sit on the bed and tell Sarah a story and see if she’d fall asleep naturally.
He sat. Sarah snuggled against his chest. But sitting on the edge of Grace’s bed was incredibly uncomfortable, so he scooted back until he was leaning against the headboard.
“This is better.”
Sarah blinked up at him sleepily.
“Okay. Let’s see. You clearly like bears since your grandfather blended a bear into your name, so let’s make up a story about a bear.”