“Uh…I have no idea, but it needed to be said.”
“It really didn’t, but anyway. How’s Lacey?”
The transparent insincerity in Daphne’s voice made Nina feel instantly better about momentarily flying off the verbal rails. “She’s great. I’m meeting her for lunch in a few.”
“Fantastic,” Daphne said. “Have a great day.”
The tension between them was murkier than Nina’s dirty martini, but she wasn’t about to let Daphne out of the conversation so easily.
“Wait a minute. Don’t rush off. What can I do to help? You need a business plan for the loan process.”
“I looked up small-business-plan templates on the internet, and Rikki helped me fill in the blanks. But thanks for asking.”
Nina’s ticked-off meter was approaching full tilt. Daphne’s new cool, self-assured demeanor was bordering on rudeness. Had Nina created this monster?
“Well, would you like to go out for a glass of wine to celebrate?” Nina looked up and noticed Lacey signaling to her from the bar. She held up her index finger to her as she anticipated Daphne’s eager “yes.”
“We should probably wait for the official approval first,” Daphne said with anything but eagerness in her voice. “But sure. We can sometime.”
Sometime? Nina clenched her teeth, then switched her irritated tone to playful. “Waiting’s for suckers. I’m so confident in your future success that I say we just do it tomorrow night. My treat. You free?”
“Let me check, and I’ll get back to you.”
Nina was back on irritated as she fumbled for a sharp retort. She also noticed Lacey tapping at her Rolex from the edge of the bar. “Yeah, no problem. Okay. I have to run now.”
She squeezed the end button so hard she could’ve cracked the screen. Heading over to Lacey, she tried to shake off her thoroughly perplexing, frustrating chat with Daphne. Was Daphne over her? Whatever “over” entailed in their ambiguous relationship.
“Hey, babe.” Lacey kissed her cheek and ushered her to a table for two near a window. “I don’t have too long. Who were you on the phone with? A client?”
“No. Daphne. She’s decided to lease that retail space I told you about.”
“Good for her,” Lacey said as she seemed more focused on perusing the menu. “She could use something to keep her occupied.”
“That sounds kind of catty.”
Lacey looked up in surprise. “I didn’t mean it that way. But come on. She’s kind of a sad sack. Running her own antiques business will be great for her.”
A streak of fierce protectiveness rose to the surface. “If you don’t mean to be catty, why do you always seem to have a dig queued up for her?”
“She’s just…” Lacey grimaced.
Her expression raised Nina’s hackles. “She has the biggest heart of anyone I know.”
“Really? Anyone, huh?”
“You know what I mean—of any of my friends. You should see the way she looks after her eighty-year-old neighbor.”
Lacey nodded almost dismissively. “Let’s not spend our whole lunch together bickering about Daphne.” She waved the server over and looked down at the menu. “I think I’ll get the beef-tips special. How about you?”
Nina poured the rest of her drink into her mouth. “I’ll go with the grilled-shrimp salad.”
“Want to split the fried calamari? They do it New York style.”
Nina shook her head. “I’m not that hungry.” She looked up at the server. “I’ll take another dirty.”
“We’ll do the calamari, too,” Lacey said as she handed over the menus. “You have to eat more than a salad if you’re double-fisting martinis at lunch.”
What the fuck? Now she was controlling what Nina would have for lunch, too?
“I’ve had a rough morning, Lacey. I’m perfectly capable of handling a two-martini lunch.”
“What’s going on? Have they walked out yet?”
“Not yet, but they’re close. And Lancaster’s personally selected me to come up with an offer by the end of the day, or it’s going to happen.”
“Personnel negotiations isn’t even your job.”
“No kidding. Should I tell the CEO to go pound sand?”
“Not if you want a future there. What are you going to give them? Doesn’t have to be much. They’re not even unionized.”
“I want to give them what they want,” Nina said. “They want more choice in their plans and a larger network. They’re not unreasonable requests. But Lancaster’s being an asshole about it. He thinks they’ll be grateful for a one-percent premium reduction.”
“I appreciate what you’re trying to do, but you certainly don’t want to start a precedent of treating worker bees like they matter. That’s the quickest way I know of getting blackballed in the industry.”
“I can’t tell whether you’re being ironic or entitled,” Nina said. “But I’m so fed up with walking that tightrope. I hope they do walk out in San Fran. I hope they walk out, and the whole West Coast profit margin tanks this quarter.”
Lacey looked concerned. “Are you angling for a severance package or something?”
“You know what? I don’t think that would be so bad. I can take it and do something else with my life. It would be nice to feel inspired about my career again.”
“How about going back to living on a budget? Does that inspire you?”
“God, Lacey. Life’s not all about money. I lived on a budget in the early stages of my career. It wasn’t horrible.”
“Looks like Daphne’s rubbing off on someone.”
Now it just felt like Lacey wanted to be antagonistic. “If seeking purpose and fulfillment in your job is being like Daphne, then maybe I want to grow up to be just like her.”
“Maybe she’ll hire you as a cashier in her little knickknack store.” Lacey sipped her drink and looked out the window.
“What’s your problem, Lacey? You have something you want to say?”
Lacey turned back to her, vulnerability in her eyes. “If you want me to be honest, I think your friend is too needy. You always manage to make her the topic of discussion, and then I have to listen to you go on and on about how you can fix her, like you have a blueprint for a new and improved Daphne and want to be the engineer.”
By the grace of the gods, the server delivered her second drink. Lacey’s statement knocked the wind out of her, and once she’d caught her breath, she sipped her martini until the truth of it stopped stinging so much.
“One of things I love about you, Nina, is your compassion and fiery eagerness to help others, but I’m starting to feel like the third wheel in your life…again.”
Nina scooped up Lacey’s hand in hers. “Baby, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you felt that way. I’ll be more mindful now. To be honest, she’s doing great on her own. The realtor is helping her through most of the process. I haven’t even talked to her for a while.”
Lacey looked down, almost like she felt ashamed. “I’m sorry. I hope I didn’t sound like a jerk. I guess I’m still a little hypersensitive about, you know…”
Nina released her hand when the server brought their lunch entrees. “Don’t apologize. Maybe lunchtime dates aren’t always such a hot idea, given we’re both stressed at our jobs.”
Lacey laughed, seeming relieved. “That’s not untrue. Let’s talk about our weekend plans.”
Nina smiled and picked at her salad. Now was absolutely not the time to bring up space and time boundaries.
* * *
Daphne had signed the lease and received the keys during the week but was finally able to head over to her new shop on Saturday, eager to begin preparing it for the as yet unscheduled grand opening. Unlocking the door and walking in with her carrier of cleaning supplies was a bittersweet experience. The times when she’d allowed herself to imagine her dream leaping off her vision board and taking form in the real world, Sophie and Nina were walking in on either side of her, as joyous and brimming with pride as she was.
But, as in so many instances, reality simply couldn’t live up to the power of the dream.
As she swept the floor, she surveyed the walls that needed painting and the display space that needed to be redesigned. She also needed a sign for outside above the door. The small-business loan would fund those projects. But when would she hear back on that? With no past business experience, she had no way of assessing whether she should be nervous. Nina had told her that one of the biggest keys to a contented life was not worrying about anything until you had a concrete reason to.
Nina. They’d been avoiding each other since their storeroom misadventure, an experience Daphne had continually replayed in her mind despite her efforts to forget it. What was the point? It was only driving her crazy. Nina clearly wanted Lacey.
She’d been trying to occupy her mind by dealing with the shop and visiting with Sophie, but now that some time had passed, she wondered if she could get past her feelings for Nina for the sake of their friendship. She missed her, and she wished she’d just texted Nina and asked if she’d wanted to help her get things in the shop in order. Even though that only meant giving the place a good scrubbing, Nina would’ve been enthusiastic to help in any way.
She flipped her empty bucket over, sat on it, and stared at her phone. She was being a fool. Was she really going to let stupid feelings ruin a solid friendship? She was about to become a full-fledged, legit businesswoman. Shouldn’t she have the emotional maturity that went along with it?
With that she sent Nina a text.
Almost immediately Nina called her.
“Hi there, busy lady,” Nina said. “What’s been going on?”
“Not much other than trying to organize things in the shop. I got the keys this week, and I’m here now cleaning.”
“You are? How long will you be there? I’d love to come help you.”
“That’s okay. I got it. You’re so busy with Noah and Lacey, and you’ve already helped me so much. I can manage cleaning and disinfecting on my own.”
“You’re missing like the best part of this experience,” Nina said.
“What’s that?”
“Having a friend help you means you get done twice as fast, and then we can go for a drink.”
Daphne laughed. As usual, she instantly felt uplifted whenever she heard Nina’s voice. She frowned when she searched her memory for any other friend in her past who had inspired that same reaction. Sophie? Sort of but…Nope. Only Nina. She needed to get over this crush because her friendship was too important to lose over something like that.
“Let me know the next time you’re free, and we’ll do just that,” Daphne replied.
“What about today?”
The question took Daphne off guard. “Well, yeah, today works. But haven’t you already planned your day?”
“Actually, no. I had a remote meeting this morning, but Zack has Noah this weekend, and Lacey’s in Vermont visiting her family until tomorrow night.”
“Why didn’t you go with her?”
Nina sighed into the phone. “I’ll be there in thirty and explain.”
When they ended the call, Daphne smiled, feeling infinitely better about all things.
* * *
By the time Daphne had taken her first bag of trash to the dumpster in the parking lot, Nina had arrived with sushi takeout and a four-pack of local beer. They exchanged an awkward hug and stood at the counter eating.
“I hope I didn’t break your rhythm coming in here and forcing a food break on you,” Nina said.
“There’s no such thing as forcing sushi on me,” Daphne said. She’d decided that while she couldn’t not notice Nina’s perfect lips and mouth and dazzling white teeth, she didn’t have to allow them to derail all rational thought. She’d simply acknowledge them and then force her brain back on track.
“And how lucky are you that this restaurant is only a few doors down,” Nina said.
“Now I know where all my profits will go after I start earning them.” Daphne sipped cold beer from the can. “So why didn’t you go away with Lacey?”
“Mmm, yes, that.” Nina wiped her mouth as she chewed. “I’d had a conversation with her about a week ago about space and boundaries and such. It didn’t go over well.”
“What did you say?”
“After choosing my words carefully, I let her know that I wasn’t fully comfortable with her spending almost every night at my house. I mean, Noah is just getting used to the idea that Mommy dates a woman now instead of Daddy, and Lacey seemed to be moving things along at a pace I wasn’t comfortable with.”
“That sounds reasonable,” Daphne said as her heartbeat quickened. “I mean, if you don’t count the year of your affair, it’s been only a few months. That’s total U-Haul syndrome.”
“Right? But she’s counting that year. She says that, altogether, we have a year and a half as a couple, and that’s plenty of time to know if this has happily-ever-after potential.”
“Obviously you’re not counting the year.”
“I’m not. It was an incredibly confusing, tumultuous time for me, and I’d temporarily lost all understanding of who I was and what I wanted. I wasn’t on an equal playing field with her then. From my point of view, Lacey and I started off fresh over the summer.”
“And you haven’t been able to get her to understand that.”
Nina shrugged. “I don’t think it’s my job to make her understand. It’s how I feel. My life has never been as unencumbered as hers. When we met, I had a husband. I still have a son, and that’s never going to change. I’m afraid that one of the main things that attracted me to her has become an obstacle.”
“The fact that she’s pushy?”
Nina looked at her like she’d answered a math question with a color. “No. That she’s assertive and confident in what she wants.”
“Oh. Yeah. That makes more sense. That is pretty sexy in a woman, huh?”
Nina glared at her. “You are definitely not helping.”
Daphne giggled. “Sorry. So how did you leave it?”
“She decided to take the weekend and visit her family without me. I haven’t figured out if it was simply a break she felt we both needed or a spectacular display of passive-aggression.”
“It’s probably just a little break.” Daphne reflected on how she’d recently needed to do the same thing with Nina. “Sometimes you need one, if things start to get a little murky.”
“Yes, yes,” Nina said, nodding. “You’re absolutely right.” She tapped her beer can into Daphne’s and took a sip, holding it in her mouth before swallowing. “Speaking of that, can I talk to you about something?”
A rush of heat swept up Daphne’s face. Ugh. This was happening and not even with the buffer zone of texting. “Sure.” She grabbed a napkin and dabbed at the droplets of beer that dribbled out during her response.
“You know what I’m going to say, don’t you?”
Daphne nodded. “Let me start by saying I owe you an apology. I’m sorry.” She began to stammer. “I, um, I know I should’ve said it to you sooner, but I just hoped we could—”
“Make believe it didn’t happen? I think we tried that, and it only made things more awkward.”
Feeling ashamed for her role in the kiss, Daphne bowed her head.
“But here’s the thing,” Nina said. “You don’t owe me an apology. You don’t have anything to be sorry for, Daph. It happened. We know it was a mistake, but if there’s any blame, it belongs to both of us. I’d like to put it behind us for the sake of our friendship. What do you think?”
“Um, yeah, I agree, for sure,” Daphne said, although the “mistake” part stung. “I admit that I avoided you for a while, but that was partly because I thought you were mad or disappointed in me. I felt like a total idiot.”
“So did I.” Nina chugged the rest of her beer. “I guess that’s one of the pitfalls of having lesbian friends who are cute.” She laughed, but her reaction seemed forced, like she was graspi
ng for anything to lighten the mood.
“Yeah, that’s it.” Daphne pretended to be righteous. “I’ve never had a gorgeous friend before, so it was all your fault.”
“You’re pretty damn cute, too. Don’t think that was a loophole.” Nina chuckled. “When you think about it, we’re both kind of virginal in a way. We’ve both been with only one woman each. It’s like we just went through this delayed coming-of-age moment together.”
“Uh, since I’m thirty-eight and you’re over forty, yeah, that’s really delayed…like those ten-year-olds sitting in strollers you see at the mall.”
Nina almost spewed out her beer. They shared a hearty laugh that made Daphne feel so much better about the situation. It was a watershed moment. She truly felt like she was coming into her own in terms of self-discovery and honesty in her feelings. It was so freeing—finally.
“You know what? I don’t think it’ll take long to get this place up and running.” Nina’s tone was back to business. “We should have it all cleaned up by tomorrow. Have you heard back on your loan yet?”
“Not yet. That’s what I wanted to ask you. Does it usually take this long?”
“It can, especially since you’re a first-timer. Have you asked Rikki about it?”
Daphne shook her head. “I didn’t want to bug her. It’s not even her responsibility.”
Nina patted her shoulder. “Don’t stress, Daph. I’m confident you’ll get the loan. All kinds of administrative red tape can cause any number of delays, especially with new businesses.”
Daphne’s outlook suddenly collapsed. “What if I’m rejected?”
Nina grabbed her hand and shook it. “What did I say about saying ‘what if’ in business? We don’t.”
“It’s either what is or what isn’t.” Daphne repeated the mantra blandly.
Nina cupped her hand to her ear. “What was that? I didn’t quite hear you.”
Daphne smiled in spite of herself. “I said it’s either what is or what isn’t. There are no what-ifs in business.”
“Atta girl. Now come on. Let’s stop goofing off here and get to work. We have to scrub this dump into an antique shop.”
One Woman’s Treasure Page 19