Willow placed her hands in the pockets of her scrubs. Part of her wanted to yell at the young mother for abandoning the baby. And another part wanted to yell at her for coming back for him.
"So you decided to leave the baby with Doctor Edwards. How did you find him?" she asked, only knowing Shayne's part of the story.
"I saw an article in the paper about him teaching here and saving babies. I live nearby so I know about the doctors' residences. Long story short, I hung around to see where he lived. And I left Sammy with him."
"You left him with the best," was all Willow could manage.
"Yeah, I knew he'd be okay with that doctor. He was like, a big deal. Sammy is going to get better soon, thanks to him." Grave concern crossed the young girl's face. "But he's still so sick. And will be for a long time. I'm scared to death."
"Yes. It is scary. But help is out there for you."
"I only know I missed him and I worried day and night. Couldn't stop thinking about him or dreaming about him."
So, she'd been having baby dreams, too. Willow couldn't fault the girl for wanting her baby back. A baby needed to be with his mother. She could see the longing and the love the girl had for him. She prayed love would be enough with the long road ahead of them. At least they were reunited.
Although Willow herself had come so close to motherhood, she'd never been given the chance at giving life to something so precious. But she could understand the powerful tug of feelings a young mother had for her newborn.
"It must have been a difficult decision to give him up," Willow prodded.
"The hardest decision I ever made. I postponed nursing school to be there for him, but I couldn't help him. The night I left Sammy behind, I'd never felt so alone in my life."
With a nod, Willow said, "I understand. It was a brave decision to give him up," she uttered.
"Brave? Heck, I thought I'd failed him."
"You got him the care he needed. You gave him a chance at life."
The young mom stayed quiet for moment. "I knew he'd have a fighting chance if I gave him to the doctor. But I didn't know it was brave. I thought I'd given up on someone who'd done nothing to deserve being abandoned. All he did was love me."
The words hit Willow hard. Hadn't she just done the very same thing to Shayne?
Chapter 18
"Good afternoon, Dr. Edwards. Nice to have worked with you again during your stay. Your flight to London is on schedule," the car service driver said as he pulled out of the driveway of Shayne's flat.
"Thank you, Jonathan." With a heavy heart, Shayne settled in and leaned back for the ride. For the next forty-five minutes, he had nothing but time on his hands... and his own unsettling thoughts.
Thoughts about one turquoise-eyed nurse who'd turned his life upside-down.
According to Willow, it was for the best they said good-bye, yet he couldn't stop the ball of regret churning in the pit of his stomach. He and Willow were bound together emotionally and she knew it. But her stubborn streak—and fear—kept her from admitting it. Then again, maybe she was right. Based on their pasts, they were probably doomed from the start.
Shayne had been wrong to fall for Willow. He realized that now. He should have been relieved by such a realization, so why did he feel like he'd been caught up in a ball of razor wire?
He'd been wrong to lead her on, knowing they'd always be oceans apart. Wrong to entertain the idea they might have had a chance. How could that ever have been possible? After all, he had the wrong outlook and wrong attitude to make a good pair with Willow. Where he was demanding, she was inquisitive. Where he was dismissive, she looked deeper to get to the heart of the matter. To the heart of the person. He did no such thing. At least not in that way. He only knew the physical hearts of his patients; the patients were all that mattered now.
As for Willow and him, they weren't meant to be together.
Replaying his reasons why, however, didn't quite take on the full effect he'd hoped. Despite his own rationalizations and sorry excuses, a small corner of his heart remained unconvinced as far as Willow was concerned.
But the haunting memory of her saying good-bye pounded away at him.
The way her light eyes broke with sorrow upon sending him off had left him crushed. His willful desire to haul her into his arms clashed fiercely with his need to escape her evocative, soulful stare. She could devastate him emotionally with a single imploring look.
But he couldn't allow that to happen. Because if he did, he'd be a goner. Ruined forever. He already teetered on the edge.
When it came to Willow, lovemaking had been the easy part. It was the relationship that proved woefully difficult.
His thoughts settled hotly to the last intimate evening with her. Making love to her went beyond just the physical. His romantic night spent exploring her body had become a spiritually and emotionally guided journey of a meaningful relationship like none he'd ever experienced before.
And yet, she refused to take a chance on them. The refusal ripped his insides to shreds. Yes, his anger over her not telling the truth about her blood disorder had wounded him. But something more was going on; something about that blood disorder kept her from admitting her true feelings. Refusing him went beyond hiding behind her medical condition to keep from loving again.
She'd given him so much. She gave him back his faith. He may never have faith in his brother, Blake, again, but because of Willow's optimism, he could admit he missed him. He missed his entire family. She'd given him the courage to face that fact. So why she did hold back now?
Then the realization struck.
That was it.
Family.
She believed she couldn't give him a family. Something he'd said he wanted more than anything in the world. His assertion had left her crushed. He'd seen it in her eyes but didn't know how to interpret it.
The mindboggling realization took him by surprise. How could she believe such a thing? She'd already given him so much more than he'd thought possible. Didn't she know that?
Apparently, Willow was the one who needed her faith restored. Surely, medical options were still out there for her to explore, but the choice would be hers, if and when she was ever ready. And despite his initial misgivings, Shayne knew an infant like Baby Jack, even when not his own flesh and blood, would fill him with just as much joy. His self-doubts had long since dissipated because of Willow. Didn't she know any of that?
Clearly, Willow didn't know.
Or was afraid to believe it.
"Dr. Edwards, a chauffeured airport transfer service has been already arranged upon your arrival in London," the driver announced, breaking Shayne's thoughts.
London.
Yes, back in London, his life had certainly taken a hard detour. A detour around the world. Had he actually been escaping his chaotic past or was he searching for a future? Never in his wildest dreams did he believe he'd find the perfect woman during his quest.
But he had.
That's when he knew. He had indeed been searching for a future. But did he really have to traipse across the globe to discover this? Yes, if it meant finding a future with one heavenly, blue-eyed girl.
Willow.
When it came to his life, Willow had given him a glimpse of how crystalline and exquisite love could be.
He loved her.
He recalled how the realization had ratcheted up and ambushed him the moment he saw Willow holding Baby Jack in her arms for the first time. Clobbered him right in the head. He knew it—hell he felt it. He'd fallen in love with her and didn't tell her. Instead, he'd pushed it aside. Damn it.
To deny he loved her a moment longer would strangle his conscience. He couldn't deny his love for her any more than he could deny his love of medicine. The kick of surprise left him short of breath. Hell, who was he kidding? He'd known it all along, even if he couldn't bring himself to accept it until now.
Yes, he was head over heels in love with Willow.
"Jonathan, turn the car aro
und. I won't be making my flight today."
* * *
Exhausted from the unfolding events of the day, Willow drove up her driveway toward her bungalow, unsure if she could face the night alone. Not when she'd already grown accustomed to having Shayne's reassuring presence around her.
After parking, she sat in her Toyota to take a moment before entering the loneliness of her small home. Lingering thoughts of Shayne arose in a gauzy, hazy reminiscence. Memories of his tender kisses softened the blow from the news of Baby Jack. Despite initially wanting to wipe the memory of Shayne out of her head, she realized she wanted quite the opposite. She'd been locked into her painful past until Shayne. Singlehandedly, the man had become part of her present like a silken mesh, tightly woven and unbreakable. She wanted to remember how he'd made her feel alive and beautiful.
He made the pain of her past tolerable. Forgivable. Despite her dispirited heart. At the very least, Willow wished she could thank the surgeon for giving her her life back.
Too bad she couldn't thank him in person.
She rubbed out the impossible thought. Still couldn't go there. Not emotionally, not physically, not thoughtfully. The disquiet in her soul made sure of that. The only cardiac malady she faced tonight was her own broken heart.
Because of Shayne, she'd learned she didn't want to stop living life. But could she face life with a renewed gusto, new battle scars and all after what happened today? Shayne had done everything he could to make her feel like a whole woman, flaws and all, because he'd seen her as whole. So really, when it came to living her life fully, the only person holding her back was... her.
The realization struck her like a blow to the midsection.
Shayne had been right. Her refusal to accept herself and consider any future with Shayne had indeed left her isolated and alone; she'd driven Shayne away forever.
With a resolute sigh, she exited her car. She trudged up the walkway, her head hung low, until the time came to face her front door.
When she did, she found one darkly handsome Shayne standing there.
The lamplight painted his skin the color of an amber sunset. Or perhaps the glow came from his own radiant energy. An energy that could be blinding if she stared too long. Shayne kept his shoulders strong in a self-assured stance. His smile appeared cocky as usual, but he still looked boyishly happy to see her.
Skitters of delight hop-scotched across her heart. Could she be seeing things? She blinked hard to be sure. Yes, he stood there. She was so joyous to see him she could have levitated into his arms.
She had to stay calm. Didn't know what she was in for. Even until this very moment, she never knew what to expect from Shayne. As she approached, Shayne remained motionless.
Willow stood before him, didn't make a move to reach out to him. To touch him. To feel him for fear his ethereal image would disappear into thin air.
She raised a serious gaze to him, but then, she couldn't stop her mouth from bowing into a girlish smile. An ember of hope rekindle and burned a little brighter inside her.
"Don't you have a plane to catch?" She eyed him warily despite the thrill at seeing him.
"I did, but I realized something on the way to the airport."
"What was that?"
"You weren't with me."
She tried to form some sort of witty reply, but the breathings of her heart won out and made her say, "The minute you walked out of my life, my heart broke in two." The words, soulful and sincere, had bubbled up from within and flowed from her. She couldn't fight the truth, nor deny it. She was, and always would be, hopelessly in love with this man. "I'm sorry I pushed you away. I thought I was doing the right thing."
"I'm not going anywhere, Willow. We are right together. I love you. And you deserve to be loved, even if I have to spend the rest of my life convincing you. I don't see any other way."
"But, Shayne, what about..." she began, slipping into her old fearful way of thinking.
"Face it, Willow, you fell in love and you fell hard," he teased with that cocky smile of his.
"Me? Fall in love? If I fell, then you gave me a good, hard push," she pouted.
"Let me push a little harder."
Shayne came off the step and kissed her. He tasted of love, a sacred emotion she'd denied herself for far too long. When he broke from the soul-searing kiss, she searched his face. In his eyes, she saw her own soul. Saw what it reflected. Love. Willow's heart filled with hope.
"I want you to be with me forever," Shayne said. "You better come to terms with it now, Willow. You're stuck with me. And this time, I won't take no for answer."
"I'm really faced with spending the rest of my life with you?" Willow asked. Her chest lifted in a voluminous swell of love. She abandoned all her fears when it came to believing him. "I hope so because I do love you," she said.
"And I look forward to learning all the ways you love me for the rest of our lives."
Willow's heart soared, launching her into Shayne's embrace as he wrapped his arms around her. The feel of his chest both comforted and thrilled her.
After a lingering hug and another searing kiss, he regarded her with a gentle smile. "Listen, whatever your choices are about children, whatever fate has in store for us, I won't stop loving you."
"I thought I'd lost everything today," she whispered, "First you, then Baby Jack."
"Hmm, yes, Connie at Social Services called and told me what happened with your adoption proceedings."
Willow's eyes eclipsed. "You tried to warn me about fate stepping in..."
"Sometimes fate steps in twice."
"What do you mean?"
"Connie's been trying to reach you but you wouldn't answer your cell phone."
"I'd turned it off, didn't feel like talking."
"She asked me to give you a message. Baby Jack's mother said she loves the baby so much she wants him to have the best life possible. She wants to see the baby go to a good family who'll give him everything she can't."
Willow stood gripped by shock. Once the words registered, she finally dared to open her mouth. "Are you saying I'm getting the baby after all?"
"If you still want him."
"Yes, yes, yes," she said, her voice tipping on a cry. "But what changed with the mom?"
"The girl accepted she wasn't prepared for all the medical necessities of the child. She's decided to go to nursing school so she can help others one day just like you helped her baby."
"Correction, we helped our baby," Willow said.
"Yes, our baby." Shayne encircled Willow in a more snugly embrace. "So I was thinking," he began as he stroked her hair, "if you're open to the possibility, then who knows? Maybe our little family may turn into a big family one day."
Willow searched his eyes. "A big family? Seriously?"
Shayne belted out a laugh. "Yes, well, there are plenty of babies out there deserving of our love, don't you think? But I'm getting ahead of myself. Call me old fashioned, but I do see how a marriage might make sense first. That is, if you'll have me, Willow. Promise you'll marry me. Make an honest man out of me and end these playboy rumors once and for all."
Filled with love and never wanting to lose Shayne again, Willow nodded heartily. Yes, she wanted him. She wanted to be in his arms. In his bed. In his heart. She wanted to be protected, comforted, and loved. She wanted to love him back, body and soul. And take care of him, body and soul.
"Yes, I promise I will marry you," she said through a small joyous cry, "and yes, we'll be a family."
The End
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CHRISTMAS KNIGHT
Heartthrob Heroes
Book Three
Excerpt from
Christmas Knight
Heartthrob Heroes
Book Three
by
Kimberly Llewellyn
Bestselling Author
CHRISTMAS KNIGHT
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"...tender and heartwarming."
~Kathy Carmichael, Bestselling Author
"Don't you have family you want to see for Christmas?" Tori asked. "I hope you won't have to work through the holiday—"
"No, I have no one I want to see, and yes, I do have to work. But it's my choice." Zach offered no more information. And by the chilly tone in his voice, he didn't intend to offer any more information.
"You mean, there's no family at all that you want to see during the holidays?" Tori pressed. "Not even a girlfriend?"
"Hell, no, none of that," Zach answered too vehemently. "I don't need the pretentious dinner, all the gift swapping, and dozens of brats running around the house." Zach decided not to mention his parents' deaths. He didn't need a pity party right now. He turned to Tori. "It's just not for me. I like the solitude of the road. I like everything about working during the holidays, except for the traffic."
Zach didn't say another word. He had too much to worry about, like his missing wallet. Yet, Tori's question haunted him. He fulfilled his quest to live life the way he wanted and it simply didn't include family.
Nor did he need a wife and children and interfering in-laws to make life miserable for him. He came and went as he pleased; no one to come home to every night, telling him what to do, and no one to share a bed with and hog all the covers. He especially didn't need having that special woman by his side during a large Christmas dinner with relatives surrounding him. Who would want any of those things?
Although Tori would have to allow Zach his own opinions about brats and in-laws, he could tell it bothered her. He waited for the next barrage of questions. Surely, it would come.
"So what are you hauling in the back of your truck anyway?" she asked.
"Nothing you have to be concerned about."
Playboy Doctor (Heartthrob Heroes, Book 2) Page 16