by Linda Marr
Maybe one day I could lead this farmhouse after all.
***
Late that night, Kavan and I were sitting alone on the sofa our arms wrapped around each other. I’d finally stopped shaking. I’d come so close to losing everything. And now, really, I had it all. We kissed for awhile. I rested my head on his shoulder, at peace.
But all too soon, Kavan shifted, and I sat up.
“I have to get going,” he said. “I have some dream walking to do.”
“Sure, you have Troy to train.” I didn’t say anything, but I felt sad that I couldn’t come along.
“Actually, I don’t have to do much training, he’s a natural. The only thing he can’t do yet is start all by himself.”
“That’s awesome,” I said, feeling guilty that this news only made me feel worse. “You two get going then.” I started to get up.
“Oh yeah. I forgot to tell you. Jeff said you can come with us this time. One last hurrah, huh?”
I turned back to him. He was grinning. I smiled too.
“Let’s go,” he said.
And for once, I did just what Kavan suggested.
The lights were off in Troy’s bedroom when we came in. My little brother was lying in bed, covers pulled tight under his chin.
His curtains were open, and through them, I saw that the clouds had parted and moonlight streamed in through the window. He looked so comfortable. Like this was where he belonged.
Even though his eyes were closed, he wasn’t really asleep. Troy must’ve been waiting for us.
“Hi, Elle, Kavan,” he murmured sleepily, “I knew you’d both come.”
“Did you, Troy?” I stood next to the bed so I could see his face. “You and Kavan are going to be dream walking without me after this, because I’m going to be helping Jeff.”
“I know,” Troy said. “You’re going to be awfully important one day,” Troy could barely keep his eyes open, “But I knew that all along.”
“And how did you know, Troy?”
I lay down next to my little brother.
Kavan stretched out across the foot of the bed.
“Your name… bright one, shining one,” Troy murmured.
“That’s just the meaning of my name, Troy. It’s not me.”
“…it’s you, Elle, names are always right. You’re fearless.”
I took his small hand.
Fearless. Really all I’d ever done was what was needed. But I could still hear my mother singing, and the words she said again to me before our final goodbye.
My fearless dreamer…
Maybe being fearless wasn’t about the absence of fear, but simply doing what needed to be done. No matter what came my way or what I had to face, just facing it head on meant that in the end, everything would all be all right.
Troy’s slim fingers wrapped around mine. “’Night, Elle,” Troy closed his eyes.
“See you in our dream, Troy. I love you.”
But he was already asleep.
I lay there watching the soft rise and fall of Troy’s chest under the covers.
My eyes met Kavan’s where he lay at the bottom of the bed. We both smiled.
In my mind, Kavan and I took Troy’s hands and we lifted him up from his bed, his small body flying through the black with us, sailing higher and farther and faster than he’d ever dreamed.
Then I released him. And I flew, too.