Grizzly Survival: A Paranormal Shifter M/M Romance (Arcadian Bears Book 5)

by Becca Jameson

  No such luck there either. Dale’s first words were spoken after he shut the door and led Gavin to the couch, lowering the two of them onto it. “Damn this place is small. I can’t believe Alton lived here for two years let alone kept it to sublet.”

  Gavin nodded, not bothering to glance around. He stared at the floor. He was fully aware of how tiny the seven-hundred-square-foot apartment was. It was hardly bigger than the cabin they’d just left. It was also the most boring space Gavin had ever seen in his life, and he had intended to spruce it up over the summer to make it bearable.

  He realized now he wouldn’t stay in Silvertip. He needed to head back to Calgary. Paige didn’t need him. He wasn’t even sure he would remember who she was in a few hours.

  Dale reached for Gavin’s chin and forced him to meet his gaze. “Talk to me.”

  “Nothing to say. You can go. I’m fine,” he lied. Maybe he could gather his shit and slip out of town before anyone noticed. He couldn’t take much since he only had his Chieftain, but he could leave and go any direction he wanted. Get a hotel room somewhere and relax for a few days before they found him.

  Dale’s expression was serious, his brows drawn together. “I don’t want to leave you alone.”

  The feel of Dale’s fingers against his skin was more than Gavin could handle. He jerked free and stood, heading to the kitchen to grab a water. He was so thirsty.

  “The memory-altering has totally freaked you out.”

  “Ya think?” Gavin asked as he twisted the top off his water bottle. He couldn’t avoid the spew of sarcasm that was about to rush from his mouth. “I mean no big deal. Just my best friend since I was like three years old. The person who helped me stay in the closet all these years. The sweetest woman I’ve ever met who has kept this secret for me for my entire life.” He shrugged. “What difference does it make if she’s erased from my mind?”

  “Gavin…” Dale’s voice was tense. He stood.

  Gavin held out a hand. “No. Really. It’s fine. I won’t even know the difference, will I? Hey,” he widened his eyes and snapped his fingers, “while they’re at it you think they could also make me not gay? Life would be so much easier if I were attracted to women. Then it wouldn’t matter much that I lost Paige.”

  Dale’s face was hard.

  Gavin kept going, his thoughts tumbling over each other in rapid succession. “Maybe when they erase Paige, they can replace her with an actual girlfriend I’ve had for several years. My parents will be so pleased.” He frowned, thinking of complications. “Damn. That won’t work either, will it? Because that would require also altering my parents’ memory. Can they do that too?”

  Dale stepped forward. “Gavin. Babe.”

  Gavin’s stress level was rising instead of lowering. He wasn’t the sort of person who lost his cool, but suddenly he’d had more than he could handle. He lifted the half-empty bottle of water and flung it across the room. It whizzed by Dale’s head and hit the far wall—about ten feet away—and splashed all over the beige carpet.

  Jerking his gaze to the man he’d only known a week, he continued, his voice higher. “You know what sucks the most? It’s not even the lifetime friendship or my knowledge of another species. I wouldn’t say this in front of Paige, but dammit, the last five days have been the best five days of my life. My short pitiful life. I have felt more at home in my skin this past week than ever before.

  “I felt like I fit in better with a bunch of freaking bear shifters than the regular humans I was raised with. And I know we’ve only spent a few hours together, and it probably meant very little to you, but I’ve never been so comfortable with another man. Never felt so in tune, so cared for, so…happy. Erasing that from my memory makes me hyperventilate.

  “I don’t care that it never would have worked out in the end. I’m not stupid. I know it wasn’t meant to last. It was a fling. But it meant something to me.” He shrugged again, trying to make light of the fact that he was on the verge of crying—something he hadn’t done even alone since he was a child. “You have a life to live. I have to go back to Calgary anyway, face my parents, finish my thesis, get a job.”

  He lowered his gaze to the floor and whispered the rest. “It’s probably for the best. Not remembering I mean. But it hurts all the same.”

  Dale closed the last few feet between them, grabbed Gavin’s wrists, and backed him into the refrigerator. He pinned Gavin’s arms at his sides and slammed his mouth down onto Gavin’s. He didn’t waste time thrusting his tongue in deep and devouring Gavin like a starving man.

  Gavin groaned at the intensity of the contact and the instant arousal that shot straight to his cock. There was nothing sexier than when Dale took control like this and demanded compliance.

  When Dale released Gavin’s wrists to smooth his hands up Gavin’s arms and then cup his face, he also thrust a knee between Gavin’s legs, holding him firmly against the fridge. The kiss went on for long minutes while Gavin’s body melted into his lover’s embrace, and he wrapped his arms around Dale’s waist to hold him tight.

  Chapter Ten

  Dale didn’t break the kiss until he was sure Gavin was done fighting him and had come down a few notches from hysteria. He’d never been so sad for someone else in his life. The man honestly believed the Arcadian Council was going to wipe his mind. And he was in full-on panic mode. Not that anyone could blame him.

  In addition, he was reeling from the fact that Gavin had just told Dale how much he cared about him. Dale didn’t know yet how to process that information or what to do with it, but for now, he needed to cherish it and take care of this amazing man he’d spent five fantastic days with.

  No matter what happened in the future, it would be a lie for Dale to deny he’d also enjoyed every second of the last week, more than he wanted to admit or ponder yet.

  Finally, he released Gavin’s lips, setting his forehead against his lover’s. “Now I know how to get you to stop talking,” he teased, hoping Gavin wouldn’t take him the wrong way. “If I strip you naked and fuck you hard against the fridge, will you calm down enough to listen to reason?”

  Gavin bit his lip, the corners of his mouth turning up slightly. “It’s worth a try.”

  Dale smiled broadly. Thank fuck. He needed to drag Gavin out of this funk, and he intended to do so immediately. The crazy thing was that Dale had his own demons to face tonight. He was ignoring them. Shoved them to the back of his mind. And he would continue to do so for as long as it took to set Gavin straight.

  Just a few hours ago he had talked himself into letting Gavin go. Now… Shit, he couldn’t leave things like this. At the very least, he had to repair the damage.

  Gavin turned his head to one side and settled his cheek against Dale’s shoulder. “I’m serious though. Don’t ruin my pity party.”

  Dale grabbed his face again and lifted it so he was forced to meet his eyes. “I’m serious too. I know you’re worried. I can’t blame you, but you don’t need to be. No one’s coming after you. You’re safe.”

  “You can’t know that. I’ll never be safe. One perceived wrong move on my part, and I lose the people I love most.”

  Dale stared hard into Gavin’s currently greenish eyes. People? The only person Gavin had known in Silvertip until a week ago had been Paige. So “people” had to include Dale. Used in the same sentence with the word love. Dale stopped breathing for a moment, forcing himself to ignore the implication. Now wasn’t the time to process that either. “No one’s going to erase your memory, Gavin. I promise. You’re not a threat. George and Henry are going to want to talk to you to make sure you understand what they did and everyone’s stories match, but that’s about it.”

  “How do you know?” Gavin smoothed his hands from Dale’s back and tucked his fingers into the loops on Dale’s jeans.

  Dale eased his palms down to cup Gavin’s shoulders. “I already told you. Because you’ve known about shifters for ten years and never uttered a word to anyone. That’s a pretty good trac
k record. There’s no reason to think you would start spilling secrets now.”

  “I don’t know. A lot of shit happened today. I know too much. It’s one thing for me to have seen someone shift and kept it to myself. It’s another thing entirely for me to know so many pack secrets.”

  “Not really. Who would believe you anyway?” Dale joked in attempt to lessen the tension. Something was off here. Not quite right. He couldn’t put his finger on it. But the hairs on his arms stood on end. It seemed as though Gavin was intentionally pushing this issue unnecessarily far.

  Gavin rolled his eyes. “Why do I doubt your Arcadian Council operates on the assumption that no one would believe me even if I told them?”

  Dale chose his words carefully. “Think of it this way—if a fourteen-year-old kid can keep our existence a secret, a grown-ass man can surely continue to do so.”

  Gavin stared at him. “Am I?” Was Gavin starting to whine?

  “Are you what?”

  “A grown man? Is that how you see me? Because you’ve made a point of calling me kid about a dozen times this week. I get the impression you don’t take me seriously. I think this is all fun and games for you. A hookup that’s gone on for several days with some kid who showed up in Silvertip unannounced.”

  Dale froze. Holy shit.

  Yes, Dale had called him a kid often, but not because he thought his lover was a child. He shuddered. As soon as he’d found out Gavin was twenty-four, he’d relaxed and not given it another thought. Sure, Gavin was green, but that was from lack of experience, nothing more. It was also a turn-on.

  Did Gavin honestly believe his own words? That Dale thought so little of him? Or was he fishing for something? Something more… After all, it was almost ridiculous how many times Gavin had argued this same point. What was really going on here?

  Dale furrowed his brow. How had Gavin gone from worrying obsessively about having his mind wiped to insinuating Dale thought he was a child?

  Gavin wasn’t done. “I may be submissive, Dale. I’ll admit to that much. And it’s hot as hell when you tell me what to do in the bedroom, but I’m not a child. So, please don’t try to minimize this thing as if it doesn’t matter. Don’t tell me what to think.” Sassy.

  Damn. Dale stared at Gavin as the kid lowered his gaze. Was he pouting? Like intentionally pretending to have a…tantrum?

  Dale’s heart rate picked up. He watched Gavin’s body language. If he wasn’t mistaken, Gavin was needling him. On purpose?

  Or was it more than that? It was difficult to read Gavin’s actions any other way. After all, Dale had not seen a side of Gavin that demonstrated insecurity at this level. Was it contrived? Fake?

  How had Dale not seen this? Gavin was begging for affirmation that he was safe. Important. Loved.

  Like a Dom would reassure a sub.

  If this entire discussion wasn’t a direct appeal to Dale’s dominant side, then Dale was about to make the biggest mistake of his life. It appeared what Gavin was begging for was someone to take charge and shake him out of it. This was Dale’s element. He shined in this role. His cock ached just thinking about turning this table around and taking charge.

  Dale licked his lips, narrowed his gaze, and prayed to God he wasn’t misinterpreting Gavin’s plea. “I think this particular conversation is over. I’ve told you multiple times you’re not in danger. You’re starting to sound rebellious though. In fact, I think you need a bit of discipline to curb that attitude of yours.”

  Gavin flinched, but his face turned a darker shade of red, and he didn’t back away. And then the scent of arousal filled the room. Holy fuck.

  Dale lowered his gaze to find an impressive bulge pressing against the front of Gavin’s jeans. It wasn’t hard to believe that a submissive would need some release after the stress he’d endured that day, but Dale and Gavin had never crossed this particular line. They hadn’t even discussed it.

  Nevertheless, it was on a silver platter in front of Dale for him to take or leave. The Dominant in Dale was not about to turn down this offer. This challenge.

  This was the sort of thing Dale’s dreams were made of. Even Ethan had never submitted to him as fully as Gavin showed signs of. Gavin lowered his gaze further as Dale scrutinized him once again. If I fuck this up…

  “Look at me,” he demanded.

  Gavin lifted his head, swallowing. But the most telling thing was that he still had a tight grip on the loops of Dale’s jeans. If he wasn’t interested in role-playing, he would have backed up and tossed out some joke to change the direction of this conversation.

  “You want me to discipline you, Gavin?”

  A slight flinch and maybe even a nod.

  “I can do that. I can chase away your stress in a lot of ways, but I need to be sure we’re on the same page. I need you to tell me what you want.”

  There was little chance Gavin could have gotten any more embarrassed. His face was so red it looked like he was standing outside in frigid temperatures. “I’d like that…Sir.”

  Those words were almost too soft to hear, but Dale caught every one, and his dick jumped in his jeans. Fuck me.

  Dale lifted his hands to cup Gavin’s face again, forcing him to hold his gaze. “Good boy. I’m proud of you. I know that was hard. You’ve never done anything like this before, have you?”

  “No.”

  Dale lifted a brow.

  “No, Sir.”

  “The first time is always the hardest. Asking for what you want makes you vulnerable. I’m sure you’re nervous as fuck right now.”

  “Pretty much, Sir.”

  “Let me ease your mind a bit. First of all, you need to know that I would never do anything to hurt you. Ever. I would never draw blood or leave a mark. Got it?”

  Gavin blew out a breath, his shoulders relaxing.

  “Secondly, you can always stop me at any time. If you like a safe word, use red. If you can’t remember to do that, all you have to do is say stop, and I’ll stop immediately.”

  Gavin nodded.

  Dale released his lover’s face to lower a hand to his crotch, cupping it with enough pressure to prove Gavin was as turned on as Dale imagined. He grabbed on and rubbed the seam of Gavin’s jeans. “So hard for me.” It was difficult to contain himself. Slow this down. What Dale wanted to do was fuck him into tomorrow. But Gavin needed more than that.

  “Yes, Sir.”

  “I want you to head for the bedroom, remove everything, and wait for me on your knees.”

  “Yes, Sir.” Gavin finally released his grip on Dale’s jeans and turned to flee the room.

  Dale watched him go, running a hand through his hair. “Holy shit,” he murmured to himself. “Holy shit.” He turned around and opened the fridge to grab another bottle of water. He needed to do something in the next thirty seconds to rein in his arousal. The last thing he wanted to do was come in his jeans while he was disciplining a submissive.

  But, holy shit, he thought again, this was the hottest scene he’d ever participated in. He knew it was a big step. For both of them. He also knew he couldn’t possibly process what it meant for either of them right now. Later. Not now. Gavin needed a firm hand.

  Dale had one.

  He downed most of the bottle of water, took a deep breath, and headed for the bedroom.

  Gavin had done exactly as he was told. Dale found him on his knees next to the bed. Naked. His hands were by his sides, his fingers balled into loose fists. His head was angled toward the floor.

  He was so fucking hot Dale’s breath caught for a moment. He hesitated in the doorway, staring at the man who had turned his world upside down in five days. Not a kid. A man. They could role-play the idea that Gavin was a kid, but he so totally was not. Starting with that tattoo that seemed so out of character. Perhaps the fact that Gavin had a tattoo at all was out of character, but the words themselves and the meaning told Dale everything he needed to know about his lover.

  Life is a story… Life was indeed filled with hardship
s and faith. Martel was a brilliant author. It suited Gavin perfectly.

  When Dale first met Gavin, he’d thought the kid was too green. He’d been attracted to that quality. But that wasn’t everything. Underneath the inexperience and rawness was a submissive. It was doubtful Gavin had realized this about himself. Although Dale had tested him on several occasions and felt confident Gavin would and could easily submit to the right commands, laying all his cards out was risky. Dale prayed it would pay off.

  His cock was so stiff from watching Gavin submit to him like this it was a wonder he hadn’t come in his jeans already. He fought the urge to adjust himself or even undo his fly to relieve the pressure. He needed to take care of Gavin first.

  The guy was hurting. Emotionally strained. And he needed a way to release that stress.

  Dale approached confidently and circled Gavin, patting his head and then dancing his fingertips over Gavin’s shoulders. “I want you to remain silent unless you need to use your safe word or ask me to stop.”

  Gavin nodded subtly.

  “You’ve been told repeatedly that you’re not in any danger with regard to the Arcadian Council. And yet you refuse to believe me. I need you to trust me and stop questioning me on this issue. Since you can’t seem to do that, I’m going to punish you.”

  A slight shiver shook Gavin’s body, but his fantastic cock bobbed in front of him, so full Dale could see a bulging blue vein along the top.

  “I want you to stand up, face the bed, and lean over it.”

  Gavin awkwardly rose to his feet and leaned forward, setting his hands on the bed.

  “Back up about a foot. I don’t want your dick rubbing against the mattress. You aren’t permitted any contact with your erection right now. This is a punishment. Not a reward.”

  Gavin inched backward.

  “Now lower to your elbows, fold your arms and set your forehead on the bed in front of them.”