Surviving: The Complete Series [Books 1-3]

by Westfield, Ryan

  He’d knew he’d have to find some more courage. Not the type of courage that helped men dive into battle. Not the type of courage that a bullfighter needed. No, it was something else. Something that men didn’t like to talk about. Something that was subtler, and in many ways, more powerful.

  Was it a fear of being alone? Not really. No, it wasn’t quite that. But maybe it had something to do with that.

  It was just that without his wife, without anyone at all, Jim would be facing what was the greatest fear of many. It was one thing to say that being alone was fine. But it was another to feel that visceral dread as the pit of your stomach grew and seemed to completely overwhelm you.

  It sounded ridiculous, this fear of being alone. But it wasn’t. It had taken many men before him. Strong men too.

  But deep down, Jim supposed that he knew he wasn’t someone who would cave.

  For whatever reason, no matter what happened, and no matter what emotions and fears he felt, Jim knew that he would press on. He didn’t know why, but he just knew that he was the type of person who could never give up.

  Jim was walking slowly across the pharmacy parking lot.

  The sun was a little higher now. The day wasn’t cloudy as so many days had been before. In fact, the day had all the appearances of presenting a crystal blue spring sky, full of sun. Before the EMP, it would have really been a celebrated day in Rochester, assuming the weather was the same up there. The parks would have been packed, with hardly a parking space in the lots, and there would have been games of pickup softball on the fields, and people biking, jogging up and down the streets.

  The sun felt good on Jim’s face. Warm and pleasant. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt the sun. It’d been a long winter in Rochester that year. Long and cold.

  Despite its warmth, the sunlight didn’t penetrate his fears, his dark doubts about his present and future.

  His wife and the others hadn’t shown up yet.

  And he was starting to doubt that they ever would.

  Jim made his way off the parking lot pavement, across the sidewalk, and right into the middle of the road. He walked right to the center of it, right to the double yellow line, and stood there, gazing off towards the south, imagining that that’s where the others must have driven to.

  He had initially wondered if maybe they hadn’t just left him for dead. And he’d entertained the possibility that they would have just continued south without him. Meaning that he could head down that way himself and eventually meet them.

  But he knew they never would have left him. He’d known Aly and Rob for too long for them to do that to him. And even Jessica, who he’d only really just met, would have never left him for dead.

  No. They would have never left him without actually seeing his body. They’d have wanted proof. They’d have wanted to see his corpse.

  His mind was churning. Going over thoughts again and again. He felt like his thoughts were stuck in some sort of a rut, as if he were thinking the same things time and time again.

  There was no sign of anyone. No vehicles, except the stopped and parked ones.

  There were no sounds except for the animals.

  The sun was starting to get in his eyes a little as he peered down the road, seeing nothing, so he turned around.

  Peering down the road, it almost looked as if there were small figures in the distance, way down the road, past the very slight rise as the road passed over a small hill.

  But it couldn’t have been anyone. He must have just been exhausted. His mind, after all, seemed to be running and running, never slowing down, always apparently looking for an opportunity to torment him. And now it was actually playing tricks on him.

  It seemed as if the figures were walking towards him, and it seemed as if there were three of them.

  But it couldn’t be.

  He needed to get some rest. Maybe now that it was daylight, his mind would let his body sleep. He’d find somewhere to hide himself and sleep through the day. Maybe he’d leave a note for the others, just in case they returned.

  But that seemed too depressing. The idea of waking up at nightfall, again alone, faced with the prospect of setting off in search of his wife’s and friends’ corpses.

  For some reason, he didn’t move to leave. He just kept standing there. And the figures stayed there too. They didn’t leave. They just kept getting closer.

  Soon, Jim had to admit that he probably wasn’t imagining the figures. They were real, and they were humans. And there were three of them.

  But it seemed too good to be true.

  Could it really be that Aly, Rob, and Jessica were just going to come strolling up the road to meet him?

  No. There was no way.

  It just couldn’t be true.

  What were the other possibilities? There were plenty of them. They could be three strangers. Three bloodthirsty maniacs who’d simply shoot him on sight.

  Or it could all be one big hallucination. One giant, demented vision, just some concoction of his overly exhausted brain.

  How long had it been since he’d slept, anyway?

  21

  Rob

  “It’s him! It’s Jim!”

  “Aly, hold on.”

  Rob tried to grab her, but she was already running towards the figure standing in the middle of the street.

  “I sure hope that’s him,” said Jessica, speaking in the weary voice that they were all using.

  Rob was beyond tired. But that was starting to be his normal state, and it felt normal to feel like this.

  He’d been awake for so long that his short-term memory was completely shot.

  Well, not completely. He still remembered being completely amazed that he and Aly had simply stumbled upon Jessica. They’d been walking along, fearing for their lives almost every second, and they’d seen a lone figure walking.

  It could have ended much differently. In fact, the three of them were lucky that no shots had been exchanged. Both groups had been on high alert and ready to fire.

  The other details were hazier, filtering in and out of his mind.

  What mattered the most to Rob was the present. And right now Aly was potentially putting herself at danger by running up to a stranger who stood in the middle of the road.

  “He is about as tall as Jim,” muttered Jessica.

  “Yeah. But so are a lot of guys.”

  “I guess we’ll just have to see what happens.”

  There was no stopping Aly. She was running towards that figure on the road like there was no tomorrow.

  And maybe there wasn’t.

  Up ahead, Aly’s figure was looking smaller the farther away she got.

  “No shots fired yet. So far so good. Maybe it is Jim.”

  “Let’s hope so.”

  “Wouldn’t that be something? The four of us all alive, after all that?”

  “Let’s just hope the luck continues.”

  “Luck doesn’t have anything to do with it.”

  “I don’t know about that,” muttered Rob.

  Up ahead, Aly was embracing the figure there. They were hugging. Kissing.

  “Looks like that’s our man after all,” said Jessica. “Unless Aly’s decided to go polyamorous on us.”

  “Poly-what?”

  “Some kind of New Age trend. Don’t ask.”

  Rob just grumbled vaguely to himself, and he and Jessica kept on trudging along the road towards Aly and Jim.

  Rob should have felt elated that Jim, his oldest friend, was still alive. And he was. Mentally, he was beyond happy that Jim was there, presumably more or less safe and sound.

  But emotionally? Rob didn’t feel anything at all. He was too tired. He’d been through too much. A couple glances in Jessica’s direction told him that she was feeling the same way.

  They’d barely talked about what had happened to them when they’d been separated. It should have been one of the first things they discussed, but instead they’d just started talking about ge
tting to Jim and planning for this or that.

  Maybe they’d talk about it all sometime in the future, around some campfire at night when they were all well-fed and more or less well-rested, when there wasn’t constant danger on the horizon. But when wouldn’t there be the threat of constant danger?

  Rob just didn’t know.

  Rob and Jessica were simply too tired to rush up to where Jim was, so instead they just walked at their normal pace. They’d get there eventually, and it didn’t seem like anyone else was around.

  When they got closer to Jim, they could see that he wasn’t in good shape.

  “Shit,” said Jessica, under her breath. “He doesn’t look good.”

  It was true. Jim was leaning heavily on Aly, and she wasn’t exactly in good shape either. Jim’s clothes looked like they had been soaked in blood. A lot of blood. There were more tears and cuts in his clothes than before. His hair was matted with blood on one side of his head.

  But Jim was still standing. It didn’t appear to be his blood. Which was good.

  “You made it,” said Rob, when he reached Jim.

  It seemed like a stupid thing to say, but he just didn’t know what he was supposed to say. Here he was with his oldest friend and he was really at a loss for words.

  Jim said nothing. He just looked up at Rob, still leaning on Aly, and gave him a wink. It was a slow wink, though. A wink of fatigue and exhaustion. A weary wink.

  “I can’t believe we ever left you here,” said Aly. Rob saw now that she was crying. Real tears pouring down her face. Impressive considering that Rob knew that she was severely dehydrated.

  “If you guys hadn’t,” said Jim, his words sounding weary, almost to the point of slurring, “then some of us would be dead.”

  Rob noted that Jim hadn’t said “all of us.” And it was true. Probably they all wouldn’t have died. Maybe Jim would have lived. Hell, he’d lived through that on his own. But someone would have died.

  “Well,” said Jim. “Time to head south. Come on.”

  And with that, he let go of Aly, who he was more or less clinging to, and took a single step forward.

  It wasn’t a normal step. Instead, it was more like he lurched forward shakily.

  And a second later, he’d collapsed to the pavement, barely managing to break his fall with his hands.

  “Jim!” cried out Aly, who lunged forward, trying to grab her husband and pull him to his feet. But she wasn’t strong enough. She, like the rest of them, had been through too much, and was simply too weak.

  They were all underfed. Most of them were dehydrated. They’d all sustained injuries. Their minds were all weary.

  Rob took a step forward and grabbed Jim under his arms and hauled him to his feet. “Come on, buddy. Let’s get you back into the pharmacy.”

  “We’ve got to keep going,” muttered Jim, his face showing at the same time both utter exhaustion and utter determination.

  “We’re going to keep going,” said Rob. “Don’t worry. I’m not going to let us become sitting ducks. Come on, guys, follow me.” He addressed the last bit to Aly and Jessica, who were just sort of standing there, staring at Jim, their mouths open and agape.

  That wasn’t their normal behavior. They were almost never useless. They were the kind of people who were always on the go. Always doing something.

  And now? They’d simply been through too much.

  Jessica, Aly, and Jim didn’t seem to understand how bad off they were. It was as if they’d gotten so good at pushing themselves, pushing their limits, and continuing on despite the terrible circumstances, that this new skill of theirs actually prevented them from understanding how bad off they were.

  Jim wasn’t the type of man who’d ever admit weakness. It was good, up to a point.

  And Jessica? She was so headstrong and independent. It’d gotten her far in life, both before and after the EMP. But now? She wouldn’t even admit that there was something horribly wrong with her eye. When Rob had asked her about, she’d acted as if he was crazy, as if there couldn’t possibly be anything wrong with her eye or her vision, despite the fact that her eye was swollen and discolored, the eyelid barely opening even a crack.

  Rob had been through as much as the rest of them. But it was then, as he was basically dragging Jim across the pharmacy parking lot, that he realized that he was doing the best of the four of them.

  It wasn’t that the other three wouldn’t recover. They’d been through hell, but after some rest, food, and water, they’d be more or less back to their former selves. Sure, they’d have physical and mental scars, marks in their minds, that would never leave. They’d have indelible nightmares, the kind that didn’t leave until death.

  But so what? Everyone was messed up. Especially now. After the EMP, there wasn’t going to be a human in the US that didn’t have horror stories and terrifying images that they’d never be able to shake.

  “We’ll all be fine,” Rob was saying, speaking to Jim, Aly, Jessica, and to himself too. “We’re going to rest up, and we’re going to get ourselves out of here. I happen to be doing the best of the three of us right now. So I’m in charge until further notice.”

  There wasn’t even a hint of grumbling at Rob’s declaration of being in charge, and Rob took that as a sign that on some level the other three did understand how messed up they were. Not total understanding. Nothing close to it. And that was evident from what Jessica started to say.

  “Are you planning to have us rest here in the pharmacy?” said Jessica. “Because we’ve already been attacked here. We need a new location. We’re doing fine. We just walked all night. We can walk a little farther.”

  “Jim can’t stand up,” said Rob, grunting with effort as Jim’s limbs went once again completely limp. “And we can’t stand out there in the middle of the road. So we’re going into the pharmacy for right now.”

  It seemed to take forever to get Jim across that parking lot. Jessica and Aly both tried to help, but they quickly found that they themselves were too weak. All they were able to do was hold the door open for Rob to drag Jim through.

  “You’re going to be OK, buddy,” said Rob, as he laid Jim down against a wall over to the side. For a moment, Rob was worried that Jim would simply slide over to the side, but it turned out that he was able to support himself somewhat in that sitting position.

  “He’s been through so much,” said Aly, leaning down over her husband and smoothing his hair back across his head.

  “We all have,” said Jim, surprising everyone by talking. Then he winked, as if to say, “hey, I’m not dead yet.”

  “OK,” said Rob. “Aly and Jessica, you two gather up as much food and liquid that the four of us will need for one meal.”

  “Just one meal? We’re going to need more than that.”

  “Just do it,” said Rob. “We need to get rested. Get our energy back. Then we’ll worry about the other things.”

  “What are you going to do?”

  “Don’t worry about that. Just do it.”

  Rob needed time to think. Time to plan.

  Rob watched as Aly and Jessica shuffled off, weaving their way through the aisles of the pharmacy. Most of the shelves were toppled over, and all the remaining products, as well as quite a bit of trash, were scattered about.

  The women looked tired and worn down, their shoulders sloping forward and their backs arching, as if they were simply too tired to hold themselves completely upright.

  Rob looked down at Jim, whose eyes were barely opened. They looked unfocused, as if Jim was lost in his own thoughts, and not really looking at anything in particular in the real world.

  He’d be fine, though. He’d make it. They all would.

  It had felt a little strange to Rob to be giving orders. After all, that wasn’t his normal role. Hell, before the EMP, he’d never been in any kind of managerial position whatsoever. He’d always been the guy under someone else, so to speak.

  He’d had to take on more and more responsibilit
y since the EMP. This was just the culmination of that.

  With the condition of the other three, the authority fell automatically on his shoulders. It was up to Rob, and Rob alone, to decide what to do. The others weren’t in any shape to make those decisions. He hadn’t quite noticed how bad off Aly and Jessica had been on their walk. But that’s often the way it happened, that the body could marshal its resources for an intense hike or run, and then after, it would collapse into exhaustion.

  Strangely, Rob didn’t feel crushed under the weight of the responsibility. It was a lot, and it wasn’t as if he didn’t understand the full implications of his new position. However temporary it was, the position was a big deal. One wrong decision, one wrong move, and all four of them could wind up dead.

  For instance, should Rob keep them all here at the pharmacy for a few days while they rested, before continuing south? Should he look for a better spot nearby that they could hunker down in and recuperate, or maybe even try to last it out in the long haul?

  No, he didn’t think so. His gut feeling was that they needed to get away as soon as possible. There were the rest of the bikers out there, and there were sure to be others.

  The pharmacy had appealed to Rob and his friends, and it would certainly appeal to others. It offered not just the hope of food and water, but also valuable life-saving medications.

  So there’d be others that would come. It’d be a terrible place to lay low.

  But at the same time, Rob knew they couldn’t simply set off in the state they were in right now.

  He’d wait one day. Less than twenty-four hours, if they could manage it. He’d make sure the others were well-fed, and that they got some sleep. Rob knew he could get by with a couple short naps. He knew he’d be all right on sleep, and that he could continue functioning reasonably well as they headed south. So Rob would keep watch while the others slept. Jim, in particular, looked like he desperately needed sleep, and Rob had the feeling that he hadn’t slept at all the previous night.

  “Look,” said Aly, approaching Rob, her hands full of food products. Jessica was right behind her, her hands full of plastic bags with bottles of what looked like sports drinks.